1 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2020 07:18 pm Title: Finale
Wow. This was a ride, and the sort of thing this fandom really doesn’t see much of. Kudos to you for taking it on and for willing to fully embrace the darkness of it. It’s hard to read our beloved characters going through this sort of thing, and I’d imagine far harder to write.
Both Gabe as a serial killer and Jo shamelessly covering up some of his misdeeds for her own selfish purposes are disturbingly plausible, as is, frankly, the idea that someone with Gabe’s tendency to snap would end up coming after Jim in particular.
You did a really effective job putting us in Jim and Pam’s heads as they grappled with the crisis at hand – Pam trying to hold it together while the search went on and then trying to help Jim cope with something she never imagined, Jim dealing with Gabe’s sinister (and well-written) manipulations and grappling with the physical and psychological toll it took. And I really appreciate you not just ending the story with the confrontation and Gabe’s capture, recognizing that the ordeal is far from over.
Adding the wanted posters was a nice touch – a real benefit for the verisimilitude of the whole story.
Be fascinated to read any other ideas you want to explore!
1 [Report This]Date: May 02, 2020 11:05 pm Title: Finale
Good way to wrap this all up. It's been more than a trial to see Jim go through everything he did with this story. At times I thought it was going to linger in unfinished story limbo. Glad you pushed through and finishised it.
Nice to see that time and distance have done a world of good for Jim. That momenet at the start notwithstanding, he seems to be in a much better place. However the real progress is of course after he hears Erin's news.
"I feel like I can breathe again." Yeah, bit weight off his shoulders there. The scars may remain, but the pain that caused them is over.
Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
1 [Report This]Date: May 02, 2020 09:28 pm Title: Finale
Great job, this was a great way to finish out the story, I really liked it. When Erin and Co. arrived I admittedly had a little trouble discerning who was speaking at some points, but overall the chapter was excellent and the end left me smiling.
1 [Report This]Date: April 15, 2020 09:46 pm Title: Transcript: Victim Impact Statements
I've finally had the courage to open my browser tab and read this one. This story has been a very emotional read, and your writing of it has been phenomenal.
The most recent chapter with the witness statements was a nice recap and even if the conviction is not stated it gave a nic sense of closure.
I look forward to reading more of this or any other stories you choose to write.
Date: March 25, 2020 05:01 pm Title: Transcript: Victim Impact Statements
Very impactful statements from everyone. Basically what I would have expected from all the victims. To have a statement from Gabe's mother was a bit unexpected. However you did write her plea for mercy on behalf of her son well.
Personally if I were on the jury I would vote to convict. Far to many people today try to explain away their actions as "I'm not evil I'm sick." The way you've written this story, no Gabe knew what he was doing and enjoyed parts of it too. At the very least lock him up and throw away the key. Justice though would be the death penalty.
Thanks for the update.
1 [Report This]Date: February 11, 2020 08:10 am Title: Unreasonable Doubt/Flight Risks
Very excited to see a new chapter. It's nice to see that Jim is starting to get a bit better (facing his demons...literally). I hope Jam gets to take a trip soon. They definitely need it! Interested in seeing if this has them move to Austin or somewhere else.
Date: February 11, 2020 04:33 am Title: Unreasonable Doubt/Flight Risks
Very dramatic court scene to be sure. Well done on Jim for holding Gabe's feet to the fire. Also lovely to see the support system that's in place for them all there. Nice to bring back David and have his support too.
I don't blame Jim for not wanting to return to DM. After something like that, makes sense.
Date: December 28, 2019 12:39 am Title: Start the Presses
I thought this one was dead to be honest. I get that life shows up and it gets hard to write though. Nice to see things progressing. Jim looks like he's getting stronger. Mentally and physically. Good on you for keeping up that progress. Hope to see more of Jim's progress with that soon.
Date: September 16, 2019 11:43 pm Title: Coping Skills
Feels like a good set up chapter to how things will turn out later. Great to see Pam still by his side. I know they've both been through the wringer, but they're still there with each other. Great to see. I loved Cece snoozing with Jim. That seemed to be such a calming and healing little scene. Very tangible proof that Jim's gotten back to where he belongs and that he has a reason to keep on going. Glad to see an update.
1 [Report This]Date: June 24, 2019 07:46 pm Title: Scar Tissue
I think you did a really good job of explaining Jim's state here. It would be foolish to think that even after two months he'd be back to "normal." However there is progress being made. It's not overnight, but it's steady progress nonetheless.
I was starting to wonder if this story had been abandoned. Nice to see an update.
Author's Response: I had pretty much every hurdle possible placed in front of me during the last three months in terms of my academic career and so this work got put on the back burner. I mainly worked on it for "fun" when I needed a break. I'm glad I did it this way because it gave me more time to perfect my narrative. Thanks for sticking around <3
Date: March 19, 2019 06:10 pm Title: Burn It All Down
Everything's still very raw here. I like how you have Michael in this chapter. Every so often he would lose his whole man-boy bluster and actually be a good guy. That he did the same here for Erin was wonderful to envision. I'm sure Jo is in for a whole world of hurt once all those details get out. It'll be interesting to see what she has to say for herself in that regard.
Great scene with Jim and Pam. Just the right amount of tough and tender love on Pam's part. I love that she's the one to get through to him to tell him to not bottle it all up. She may not be feeling like Jim's rock right now, but she's acting like it. Well done.
1 [Report This]Date: March 19, 2019 05:49 pm Title: Burn It All Down
So I know this isn’t the point of the chapter or the story but, like... damn, Holly’s kind of a badass.
And btw, this is probably one of my favorite fanfics, and I’m not typically a fan of AUs so... this is a really great AU (and fic in general). You really have all of the characters down. But yeah, Holly, kind of a badass.
Date: February 11, 2019 01:36 pm Title: Gut Punch
A very emotionally charged chapter to be sure. I'm sure this is only the start of a long process for everyone involved. The thing about there being a previous incident that Jo covered up is a very intriguing twist to this story. I'm very glad you've got Pam right there next to Jim and Erin to help them through. Thanks for the update.
Date: January 14, 2019 11:37 am Title: Blood and Hugs
Speaking as a paramedic, if I came on scene and saw neck injuries like the one's you've described, I'd either head down to the ambulance or send someone down for the neck brace and get it on before I even attempted to move. Once that was done I'd enlist Pam's help, as you wrote (which was good by the way) in allowing me to start an IV to give pain meds or see if with Pam's help give the pain meds as a shot in the arm. That is NOT something Pam could do by the way. The splinting, sure, but not giving pain meds either by IV or by injection. Then splint the leg before moving to the gurney. It seems like Jim is breathing at least enough to talk, and not really with a lot of difficulty so if I wanted to give him oxygen I'd use the small tube that goes in the nose rather than a mask that could very easily turn claustrophobic educing another panic attack. I'm not sure how much medical training you have so the way you wrote this does make sense. I'm not blaming you in any way for writing it like the way you did. I just want to let you know how I would approach treating Jim's condition if I was the responding paramedic.
All that being said, very dramatic. It's great to see Jim and Pam together again. That Jim is just starting to crack jokes shows he make be bent and battered, but he's not all the way broken. I'm sure he's got a lot of recovery ahead, but he'll get there. Very nicely written.
Date: January 12, 2019 10:50 pm Title: Eleventh Hour
I spent three hours reading these chapters! This is probably one of the most well written fanfics that I’ve read in a long time. I look forward to the upcoming chapters. I can’t wait!
Date: January 08, 2019 07:59 am Title: Eleventh Hour
Thank you for not describing that assault in detail. Not a fun thing to think about. Gabe is really unhinged here. I do like how Erin shows up just in the nick of time here. It'll be good to see how things unfold next chapter.
1 [Report This]Date: January 06, 2019 07:19 pm Title: Behind Closed Doors
As I was reading the previous chapters and up until now, I wondered if Erin would be the one to find Jim. At first, I thought she'd see the photos and recognize Gabe's bathroom, or the shower curtain, or something... but this was SO much better. She actually found Jim.
Hopefully help gets there in time. I don't think I can handle Jim getting any more hurt here!
Date: January 06, 2019 07:12 pm Title: Inside Job
Oh not cool, Gabe. Trying to frame Dwight? This can't work out well for him.
1 [Report This]Date: December 29, 2018 08:07 am Title: Behind Closed Doors
Good chapter here. The last few had become someone tedious. Well done on Erin on keeping her cool in this situation. She was clearly in a very dangerous position and she made it out. Looking forward to seeing what the next chapter brings.
Author's Response: Yeah I had originally planned on Erin showing up the next morning but it seemed really out of character to write people like Dwight and Holly not acting on their suspicions for that long and for Jim to revert back to being cooperative after he’s decided to fight back and is fueled by the will to make it back to Pam and CeCe.
Date: December 23, 2018 06:00 pm Title: Inside Job
Good for Jim to try and keep fighting. Hopefully Gabe slips up sometime soon and they get a break in the case.
Date: December 19, 2018 06:54 am Title: Victim and Abuser
Wow, Gabe is clearly unhinged. Jim put up a good fight. Hopefully he still has some more in the tank to keep fighting even with that leg injury. Looking forward to seeing how this all pans out.
Date: December 18, 2018 06:23 pm Title: Victim and Abuser
Congrats on the 4.0! Hype to see this back.
Date: December 10, 2018 11:10 am Title: In Plain Sight
Great writing, very descriptive. Good emotional context as well. However I feel like you've got Jim going along a bit to calmly. Speaking as a guy, husband, and father, if I were in this position, kidnapped and left alone for hours on end, I'd be formulating plan after plan to break out. Jim is also a very creative guy and a quick thinker. Yes I know he's been a bit beat up and drugged.
However there were multiple times I could have seen were Jim could have tried something after Gabe got home till he drank his next smoothie after watching the news. Pull the shower curtain off while in the shower and use it to smother Gabe. Kick him in the face while he's going to tape his feel to the stool before dinner. Heck, turn around really quick and kick Gabe as hard as he can in the groin while Gabe is forcing him somewhere.
Like I said Jim had been left alone for hours and didn't think of anything? Seems a bit off to me.
Still the writing is good and the story is compelling and I'm looking forward to seeing how it all turns out.
Author's Response: Don’t worry. The desperation to escape is starting to outweigh his initial strategy of trying to placate and manipulate Gabe.
Date: December 07, 2018 03:58 pm Title: Jagged Little Pills
So yeah that was kind of dark. Also you may want to put in warnings at the beginning of the chapter rather than at the end. By the time I got down to the bottom to read said warnings, I'd already read what I'd been warned about.
Author's Response: Updated summary and notes for chapter two, hope this helps.
Date: December 06, 2018 06:10 pm Title: Jagged Little Pills
Whoa, this went dark. And yet, this is exactly how I could see Gabe behaving and talking to Jim.
That whole scene in the bathroom was intense, and when Jim still was thinking about his family before passing out.. ugh, that got me.
Sounds like it's going to be a long weekend for Jim...