1 [Report This]Date: January 10, 2019 05:44 pm Title: Un
I love pre documentary Jim/Pam. And this chapter was perfectly done. I sounds real, the way you start noticing things after something triggers you to.
Author's Response: Thank you! I really enjoy trying to figure out what they'd have been like before we see them, so I'm glad this worked for you!
Date: January 10, 2019 03:03 pm Title: Hockey
Pam talking to a scrawny kid at the end of the hockey game? Interesting...perhaps a scrawny kid who grew up to be a lanky adult paper salesman? If so, I liked how that was tossed in there.
Ah Roy, even after 10 years he's still clueless. Yes! Even after 10 years she still gets upset about the hockey game. Why? Because it set the tone that while you may like her by your side, you don't truly notice her since you're so willing to ditch her for other things.
That you're writing Roy as having all the facts, but unable to piece them together is nice work. Also I'd keep giving jellybeans, but I've already given my limit for this story. If I could I'd give more, just so you know.
Author's Response:
It is! A hat tip to Forgotten by Muppet, which I highly recommend.
And I'm glad this Roy is making sense for you, since it's basically the only way I can make sense of him myself. Thanks for the feedback as always!
Date: January 10, 2019 02:56 pm Title: Deer
That one took attention to get through. With Jim trying to think about how Pam might be thinking given the context of their day and all. I don't blame him for having to go through all those mental gymnastics to try and figure out what happened at the dojo. I also liked how you brought his list back into his line of thinking. And it's just there as an offhand remark. He's grown so used to it by now that thinking about that list comes quickly and leaves almost as fleetingly since it's so ingrained by now. However Jim is also trying to find the deeper meanings to what Pam says and does, which is why he's better for her ultimately. Well done with this one.
Author's Response:
That is fair. I think Jim's thoughts are a bit windy here, so that probably showed up in the writing. Thanks for working through it!
Date: January 09, 2019 05:00 pm Title: Deer
So as I read most of this, I kept thinking, "But is it just that?" Don't get me wrong, I felt like you were right, that just wasn't ALL of it with Pam (especially in the context of Jim - all the time, not just at the dojo). Then you wrote that freaking "caught" paragraph and I literally groaned out loud because THAT was the cherry on the sundae of breaking down her insecurity.
And I love that he referenced that outline. Good follow through.
I also really love how in the previous chapter, Roy acknowledges he and Pam are different and it's fine; they can coexist through it. (BTW, not an endorsement of that philosophy, esp for someone like Pam; she's far too intuitively driven to live like that.) But here, Jim recognizes their differences and, I don't know, I just feel like it is an "early days" understanding that Jim has that those differences can be blended rather than just standing side by side. Maybe I'm off base from where you're intending to take it, but I think it's a nice insight into Jim later saying, "I think I always knew I was waiting for my wife." If I'm wrong I'll just throw a towel over my head and this review. :D
Author's Response:
Yeah, I think that's 100% fair...but I also think that Jim at this point has a slightly less than full view of Pam in that he's kind of built her up a bit inside. Not that she's not awesome (I am firmly pro-Pam in all facets and on all points) but I'm not quite sure Jim in early S2 understands and values her weaknesses as well as her strengths. So I was trying to get that sense there (without making him unworthy of her of course).
And yes! I think that Jim (despite what I said above) has the right understanding of how two people can work together, compared to Roy at least, and that this is an important reason why his and Pam's relationship works better than hers and Roy's. Thank you for the detailed commentary!
Date: January 09, 2019 04:43 pm Title: Do
Ha! Your chapter end note is fantastic. Oh, Roy. In the South, we would say "Bless his heart." You've got this perfect Just a Simple Guy/Child/Clueless Dummy/Insensitive Jerk Combination down perfectly.
Author's Response: Ouch, "bless his heart." It's not wrong, but the worst part is that I don't think Roy would notice the cut. Thanks for reading!
1 [Report This]Date: January 09, 2019 04:37 pm Title: Summer
"Noticing that he didn't notice her either" and the whole paragraph that contains that line! Oh that is goooooood. You can see where they both have a bit of fault in not noticing each other and the danger in the complacency of that. And that immediate, simple dependence on Jim? Geez, that's good stuff.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad this is hitting the right notes for you. It's very good to hear that!
1 [Report This]Date: January 09, 2019 04:28 pm Title: List
Wow. I haven't had to see an outline like that in, um, a few years. But it absolutely works. And man, 2bi and 2bii are painful and 100% spot on.
Author's Response:
I miss those lists, so I decided to incorporate them here. 2B is just generally sad I think...
Thanks for reading!
1 [Report This]Date: January 09, 2019 04:21 pm Title: Stapler
Man, you captured Roy pretty perfectly here. You provide these explanations that really paint a thorough picture of him, positives and negatives, but they are very simple things (such as why he doesn't want to talk about work). Oh, and Roy having a Feeling about what he sees going on with Pam and Jim, but he doesn't understand it. Whoo! Yes, poor Roy doesn't have a wide range on that old emotional scale and that little scene would have thrown him for a loop.
Wonderfully done!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! Roy is always a challenge, to avoid making him too one-note, so let me know as the Roy chapters pile up if you think it continues working for you.
1 [Report This]Date: January 09, 2019 04:10 pm Title: Paint
Ugh. Okay, it's a bit painful to think that Roy was complaining before Jim knew and then he has to figure it out. And that is such a Jim thought; if it's that bad, just end it.
I like how he notices details in her artwork. Rather than just liking it as a supportive friend, he really finds something about the merits of her art to enjoy.
Author's Response: Yeah...I don't think Roy is the sort to keep his mouth shut, if you know what I mean. And I think the best of Jim is when he's being legitimately supportive of Pam, not just romantic. So thank you!
1 [Report This]Date: January 09, 2019 04:05 pm Title: Un
Pam's psychosexual analysis of Todd Packer is amazing. I will never be able to see him without thinking of this.
Oooooh, that was a tricky thing with Jim and Roy playing basketball together. That's an interesting dynamic to consider.
But that last scene with the Beesly part was pretty great.
Author's Response: Thank you! I had a lot of fun with this chapter, and particularly the elements you just called out. Thanks for reading so carefully.
Date: January 09, 2019 08:30 am Title: Do
I think you wrote Roy well here. The fact that even in his internal thoughts he still can't remember that they're engaged, not dating is telling of his character. He may think he notices her, but he's only seeing the surface and not what's important deeper down. Well done for writing that as it can be tricky.
Author's Response: Thanks! In particular, thanks for noticing that detail, which I'd been laying out there very deliberately. Your feedback is always so attentive, I really appreciate it.
Date: January 08, 2019 05:40 pm Title: Do
Of course he’d do Pammy, he did Pammy, that was part of the point of dating Pammy. Who needed to hear him say it?
I know that this is crude and boorish, but I laughed at this line. Seriously, let me say again how great it is that you're writing again.
That entire last paragraph sums up Roy so goddamn perfectly. Like, yeah he knows there's a problem and he knows he's the cause of it, but a night or two of being on his best behavior to get him out of the doghouse without them actually needing to work anything out... I'm projecting, possibly.
Glad to be caught up! And looking forward to what Jim notices next.
Author's Response: Yay! I was trying for crude and boorish, so I'm glad I got there. And I don't think you're projecting. I think you're right.
1 [Report This]Date: January 08, 2019 05:33 pm Title: Summer
I love Roy being compared to weather patterns and traffic conditions, hate his continued dismissal of Pam and her feelings, but love her growing realization that she's better than all of this.
But obviously, what I love most of all is those last two sentences. She WILL be fine!
Author's Response: This is pretty much the dynamic I see in Pam--sometimes one side being stronger than the other, but ultimately a determination to be fine. Thanks for reading.
1 [Report This]Date: January 08, 2019 05:18 pm Title: List
First of all, that outline took me right back to high school note taking so thanks for that flashback!
More importantly, that outline is so perfect - I loved seeing Jim's complicated feelings spelled out like that and I love the idea of him mentally checking himself with a "1Biv" when needed. So clever!
And he's right, you know. It's never good to see Roy.
Author's Response: I enjoyed writing the outline, so I'm really glad it connected with you. And it seems to me that it's one of the only ways Jim might have been able to so effectively dowse his own feelings for so long...
1 [Report This]Date: January 08, 2019 05:10 pm Title: Stapler
You knew it was coming... Ugh. Roy.
However, I will concede that I like the fact that you didn't make him a total monster and the bit about Pam's voice being one of his favorite things about her is pretty cute. I know, I know, he's not the worst guy (he is), but he's just so slow... but even then, he's starting to pick up the clues here but he's too dumb to piece it all together. Though really, I guess at this point, they all are. Denial's great.
Author's Response: He's not the worst guy. But he's not the best. And he thinks he's the best a lot, so that makes him worse. I think, anyway. Thanks for the review!
1 [Report This]Date: January 08, 2019 05:02 pm Title: Paint
"--though they did have a tendency to complain about their “better halves” in a way that set Jim’s teeth on edge. Dudes, he’d think, just be happy you have them—or break up. Like, if it’s that bad…" So, I have this tendency to read way too hard into these stories sometimes but I adore this little insight into pre-documentary Jim because it makes me think how lonely he must have been and then it makes me think of his rehearsal dinner speech about waiting, and it all just makes me really happy.
Author's Response: Yeah...I think Jim is a very lonely person despite (or maybe even because of) how easygoing and friendly he is. I think he doesn't really get the depth of friendship he wants with many people, which is part of what makes Pam so special for him.
1 [Report This]Date: January 08, 2019 04:53 pm Title: Un
This isn't the first time I've read this since it's been posted, it's just the first time I've had the time to comment, so you know, get ready for another waterfall of reviews from yours truly.
This is fantastic. Honestly. I like the twist of Roy being more fascinated by "the new guy" than Pam initially is. And I love how slowly this whole thing is creeping up on her.
However... this line right here: “Sorry. FiancĂ©e. Didn’t know he had one of those either.” It cuts deep in so many different ways! It's just a solidly great bit of writing.
Author's Response: Thanks! I was proud of that particular line and I'm glad it sunk in for you also.
1 [Report This]Date: January 07, 2019 02:34 pm Title: Summer
I like this perspective. We get a sense of why Pam was with Roy for so long, and where it started to come apart for them. I like that Pam's starting to grow and look at things more carefully here too. Granted at this point in the show she still has a lot of that to do, but it's nice to see where it started.
Author's Response: For me, I think, that is perhaps the most interesting central puzzle of the early seasons of the Office: why was Pam with Roy, and what is making that untenable now (not just in terms of her relationship with Jim)? So I'm enjoying teasing it out here, and I'm glad you're enjoying it too.
1 [Report This]Date: January 06, 2019 04:40 pm Title: List
Interesting look into Jim's mind. Getting very analytical with the list here seems very in character since in the show Jim talks fairly regularly about things like Pro/Con lists so I see this kind of list as fitting. The fact that he can reduce things to letters and numbers like this seems to make sense too as why Jim was able to bear Pam being with Roy for so long. It's not "this" feeling, it's just a letter and number. Good concept and nicely executed.
Author's Response: Thanks! I enjoy filling in Jim's mental life with things that I think might serve as (unhealthy) coping mechanisms, and this one seemed appropriate to me, so I'm glad it did to you too!
1 [Report This]Date: January 05, 2019 05:45 pm Title: Stapler
Good take on Roy. He may oftentimes seem clueless when it comes to Pam, but I can totally see him looking over his shoulder at Jim if he feels Jim's trying to make a move on Pam. Roy thinking himself being the kind of Alpha male kind of guy that makes sense. Good introspection throughout. Nicely done.
Author's Response: Thanks! I like writing Roy in little bursts like this; it's easier to humanize him the less time I spend in his head...
1 [Report This]Date: January 05, 2019 07:16 am Title: Paint
Short yes, but very sweet. Again it's the early stages of their relationship, but the framework is there for the full on JAM that will eventually bloom. I liked it.
Author's Response: It's a lot of fun to plant those seeds; I'm glad you're enjoying!
1 [Report This]Date: January 03, 2019 02:28 pm Title: Un
I like it! Looking forward to the next one.
Author's Response: Thanks! I tend to update pretty frequently, so it should be soon.
1 [Report This]Date: January 03, 2019 01:56 pm Title: Un
That's a unique way of when everybody all first met. To think that Jim and Roy might have started out kinda friendly like this is a refreshing change from what we normally read. I also like how Dwight went from just kinda there to all starting down the path to the Dwight we know in the show due to trying to one-up Jim. Nicely written in there. The first inklings of Pam's feelings towards Jim were also nice to see.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm trying a slightly slower build than in most of the Jim-centric relationships, though since I'm not going for a straight narrative we may hop forward to more in-show continuity soon. Thanks for reading!