Date: May 05, 2020 09:04 pm Title: Pointblank
Ohhhhh man. That's...a thing. A big thing. I'm excited to see what you do with it. Such a nice twist.
Shouldn't it be Army Air Corps, asks the pedant in me?
Author's Response: Yeah that's going to a real big thing going forward. I had an evil grin moment when I thought of it so I'm glad it's come across well.
According to my research the Army Air Corps was merged with Air Force Combat Command to form the US Army Air Forces. So at this point in the story the official name would have been the Army Air Force, but I'm sure a lot of people still called it the Air Corps. All the numbered air forces were sub-divisions of the Air Forces. Hope that helps.
Date: May 05, 2020 08:20 am Title: Family History
I like this. You must have had a lot of fun with the moonshine portion, given what we know of your drinks of preference. I still don't like Helene, but I do think she gives you good tension in the story. Good work!
Author's Response: Yeah, explaining whiskey/moonshine is fun. That's kinda the point of Helene in this story. Thanks.
Date: May 05, 2020 08:11 am Title: A New Diamond
Awww. Very much liked both the baseball team (nice choices) and the unexpected send-off. Good proposal scene too. Just slowly catching up, but wanted to let you know how much fun it was.
Author's Response: Thanks. I get that it might take people a bit to catch up. It's kinda long at this point. Glad you still liked it though.
Date: May 05, 2020 03:39 am Title: Who's On First
It’s nice to see the team working well together. Michael is just an added bonus. He’s so delightfully Michael.
You’re really taking me back to playing softball as a kid. I can feel the energy of the game.
Aww, go Pam. She really has found her niche in this universe.
The start of Jim’s letter made me grin. Poor Griff, it’s tough having to salute your friend over a technicality. Lucky they’ve both got such good senses of humor about it.
And we have Kelly! I was wondering when she’d show up! Of course Ryan has caught her attention.
Beating with censors with baseball talk was a smooth move on Jim’s part. I really like that they have their own way of communicating - it fits very well with their canon characterization, just in the way that they understand each other in a way that no one else does.
Griff bringing a little bit of fun with his contribution to the letter.
Angela is living the dream - I want to never be seen without a cat in my arms!
Todd Packer is the worst. But wasn’t that a delight, Michael and Holly on the same strange page. They’ve got such similar ways of seeing the world and you capture that so well here, and at the expense of Packer’s ego? Even better.
A fun chapter, it’s a good break from the drama/gravity of war that Jim’s experiencing.
Author's Response: As always, thank you so much for your review Jenna. I'm glad you liked this chapter. It was fun to bring to life once I got down to writing it. I would have put Kelly on the team as well, but sadly at this point in US history segregation was still a thing. Which means to keep true to history I had to put Kelly somewhere else. But it's also more in keeping with The Office to have her all over Ryan so in the end it kind of works out.
Glad you liked how everyone else is turning out. With this many characters sometimes it's hard to keep everyone straight. So it's nice to hear that things are going well.
Date: April 13, 2020 07:59 pm Title: Into the Fire
This chapter was soooo good. It was tense and scary and real but had the right amount of romance abs longing. You write each character so well and I truly love how you’ve incorporated some throw away characters into this story and given them life. You’re just so good! I can’t wait to read more, but don’t beat yourself up if it takes a while to update! You have an important job and a family and it’s crazy times and nobody knows how to deal and sometimes writing takes a back seat. Your faithful readers aren’t going anywhere!
Author's Response: Awww, BT thank you. For your support of this story as well as for the personal touches. It's very appreciated. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter so much. It's been a long time to get to this point so I'm glad everything's lived up to any expectations.
Date: April 07, 2020 04:04 am Title: Into the Fire
Warrior, I have to say I’m a little bit worried going into this chapter... I feel like we’re getting into the action & I don’t want anything to happen to Jim!
Only reading is going to answer these questions for me...
My heart was in my throat during the action! Which is obviously an indicator of some good action. I have to tell you, when Jim’s hand were locked on his instruments & the sweat was stinging his eyes I had a flicker of fear that maybe he hurt & it was something more. I’m glad it wasn’t. I’m also glad that having Pam there, albeit in picture form was enough to start to settle his nerves & ground him once again. Lovely imagery there.
I actually don’t hate this version of Roy. Huh. How about that. I feel like him & Jim get on okay without Pam in between them (even though, she kind of is, but they don’t know that...)
I liked that you had Jim lose it a little back on ground. All that high stakes adrenaline has got to go somewhere... It’s a lot to process.
Alex, hey? That was a bit of a surprise. Nice way to bring him into it. You’re including just about everyone to ever appear in canon in this story it seems. That’s an impressive feat.
Aww, Dwight, and one of my very favorite lines from canon. And, wow, way to make a very dramatic entrance there...
Oh Jim. That letter from Pam came at the perfect moment. The day ended a whole lot nicer than it really was.
All in all, this was an epic update!
Author's Response:
Jenna! Thank you for this wonderful review. I'm ecstatic you enjoyed it so much. I'm glad the scenes of Jim dealing with the adrenaline of combat worked for you. I was basing some of those scenes on first hand knowledge.
I'll admit it's kinda fun to write Jim and Roy as friends rather than Roy mostly clueless and Jim hating his guts from afar. There's a bunch of Pam and Karen friendship fics out there. I figured I'd try to explore what would happen if Jim and Roy were more friendly.
Thus far there's only a few non-canon characters. Bringing in Alex to paint the plane nose art seemed appropriate.
Dwight in a confined space filled with smoke? How could I not use those lines.
I always intended to end this chapter with a letter from Pam. Just like in the air, her letters are going to be what Jim holds onto when the going gets tough. I have a book filled with first hand account of real 8th Air Force flight crews and many of them said that's what letters from home would do for them. Kinda fun to put in some real history too.
Like I said, I'm glad you liked this chapter. Thank you so much for your constant support of it.
Date: March 23, 2020 08:35 pm Title: Pitches and Pictures
Finally caught up and I just love this so much! I am so so impressed with the level of detail and amount of research you’ve put into this! It is no easy task to be historically accurate and you make it seem so seamless and effortless. Great great job.
Something else I love is how you’re putting in all these extra elements that we kind of see in the show, but fleshing them out a bit. I like how we see what’s going on with Pam’s parents and we meet more of Jim’s friends/family in a way that makes sense. Your characterizations are spot on, too. I just truly love everything about this. I know it is probably a beast to tackle when you sit down to update it, but I am waiting on pins and needles for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks BT. I've very glad all the hours pouring over Wikipedia, Youtube, and the book I bought filled with first hand accounts from 8th Air Force flight crews proved worth it to you. Honestly it's a bit distracting at times because I'll pull something up for a quick fact check and windup down some weird internet rabbit hole.
Thanks for the notes about characterization. I'm trying to keep everyone mostly in character despite the different time setting. Some details will change, but hopefully the core of everyone will remain constant. Very glad to have you here.
Date: March 19, 2020 06:49 am Title: Dying Coals
Pausing again in my read of this to say how much I love the way you work events from the show into this story. Ryan asking Pam out, the 27 seconds. It’s all so perfect. I’m really loving this!
Author's Response: Thanks again BT. It's been a lot of as well as challenging to work in show moments. Sometimes it can work like how the show had it, other times it's fun to change it up. Glad you're still enjoying the story.
Date: March 16, 2020 04:06 pm Title: Night on the Town
Okay I’m catching up on all that I’ve missed in my absence and I usually just binge and then write all my thoughts at the end but I just had to stop here and tell you how much I am LOVING this. You write it so so so well. The nuggets of history peppered throughout give the story so much life and you capture the best and most romantic parts of this time period so well. Of course with the opening chapter and it being wartime I know it won’t all be sunshine and roses, but I can’t wait to keep reading! Excellent work, warrior!
Author's Response: Thanks BT. I was kinda hoping you'd find your way to this one eventually. I remember having a lot of fun writing that chapter. Not just with writing it, but also doing the research to find out what movies and music was around back then. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. Looking forward to hearing what you have to say about the rest.
Date: March 14, 2020 03:52 pm Title: Pitches and Pictures
Oh no, catching up with the prologue seems a little stressful! I’ll have to go back and re-read it, but if memory serves, I don’t remember Jim being in the safest of places...
This was a lovely update - as always. It’s great to see you bringing in different dynamics from the show in ways that just work, like Cathy’s jealousy over Jim/what Jim and Pam have.
It was also interesting to see that connection between Pam and Jan through Gould. I wondered how he would factor in.
I think my favorite part of this chapter was the Karen/Pam friendship. It’s such a great component of this fic. I also appreciated the little update as to how things are at home for Pam’s parents.
Looking forward to the next installment!
Author's Response: Thanks. Even though we're AU, I'm trying to keep canon personalities mostly the same. Cathy being jealous, Jan being supportive of Pam's art, Meredith liking to party. Even Karen was friendly with Pam before she really knew about all the drama she was wrapped up in. It's been fun to tie all these different connection in to this story. Thanks as always for your review. Glad you're still enjoying it.
Date: February 09, 2020 11:48 pm Title: Pointblank
Plot twist! It’s Roy!! I wondered if he was about to make an appearance once I saw the plane was named Pammy...this will definitely mix things up some! It will be interesting to see how they discover they both know Pam and how Roy reacts to her being engaged to another man. Two thumbs up for this! Also the cat/monkey plane...fun nod to Angela!
One of the things I love most about your stories is how detailed you write and the depth of the plot. I’ve learned so many interesting things about flying, WW2 and baseball just from this alone. Your descriptions really set the scene well and it’s so easy to get lost in the chapter and I’m always disappointed when I reach the end. Can’t wait to see what is next!
Author's Response:
Always lovely to hear from you MCapps. Glad you're here for this twist. It's one of the the plot bunnies I came up with when I first thought up this story so its fun to start bringing to light. Glad you also caught sight of Dwight's plane there. That'll be fun to explore as well.
Thank you for your kind words about the depth and detail. Just when I think "did I go overboard on this one?" I get a review like this. So thanks. I'm very glad you're enjoying it so much.
Date: February 07, 2020 01:49 pm Title: Pointblank
Oh. My. Plot twist.
That was so very unexpected. Roy. Roy. Roy talking about “his” girl back home. Up until that moment, I thought how sweet, how serendipitous that the plane Jim is paired with is a reminder of Pam. I should have known from the fact it was Pammy - that should have been a red flag. Oh boy. Roy.
I now have questions (that I fully expect to be answered by the story at some point, but I’m putting them out there anyway). Does Jim know who he’s meeting? Roy would have no idea, obviously... Although, I feel Jim’s picture will point that out to him at some stage. I can’t remember if Pam ever told Jim Roy’s full name. I feel there’s potential he can piece together from the other information regardless.
I hate that Roy is still calling Pam his girl. That does not bode well...
I was fully prepared to spend this review giggling over Dwight’s reappearance and feeling for Jim over the harsh reality of war that’s he’s having to deal with in his slightly battered plane. But here we are...
Roy. Roy? Roy. Oh no...
What a wonderful update!
Author's Response: Remember way back in those Thanksgiving chapters? I did mention distraction being a powerful tactic. Works great for a writer too. Thus the re-introduction of Dwight, the feelings of foreboding, and lets face it probably a good amount of excess description. Still it was fun to finally bring this plot element to light. I'll save you the time from having to go back. No, Pam has never told Jim Roy's full name. Meemaw mentioned it once though. Remember Conroy back at Thanksgiving? So at this point, nope, neither one knows who the other is. Which could make this a lot of fun. Always glad to hear from you.
Date: January 19, 2020 02:01 pm Title: Family History
There’s a lot going on in this story, between the baseball, the war and the personal dynamics. I have to say, I’m really loving the family drama plot too. It may even be my favorite part. William is such a great OC & Helene is certainly making for some interesting storylines. Looking forward to seeing where you go with this complication (as well as all the other facets of this story).
Author's Response: Thank you. I was kind of worried that the Beesly family drama was a bit much and distracting from other part of the story. Glad you're enjoying it. Thanks for sticking with this.
Date: January 06, 2020 04:00 pm Title: Paperhawk
I'm enjoying this; a bit behind, as I am on everything in the archive right now. Good work getting us situated; interesting work on bringing people from various parts of the series together. Looking forward to action.
Author's Response: Thank you. We're most assuredly getting closer to the action too. At least that's what I keep telling myself when I watch re-episodes of "Dogfights" on YouTube. Glad to still have you part of this.
Date: December 21, 2019 11:56 pm Title: A New Diamond
So much happened in this chapter! Where to even begin?! I had been wondering how Michael would fit into this storyline...definitely can’t see him in the military! This is perfect though! Loved how he had his moment to be sweet Michael...it’s always endearing to see that side of him. The “never, ever, ever give up” line is one of my favorites from the show and I enjoyed seeing it as their motto! Also adding in the other female cast members was a nice surprise!
The telegram got me for a minute but I thought- no, warrior wouldn’t do that to us...right? Haha! I was relieved it wasn’t anything awful. The proposal was sweet...made me smile and think of the gas station proposal. Spur of the moment -can’t wait any longer...you captured that feeling perfectly!
Looking forward to what happens next!
Author's Response: MCapps! Wonderful to hear from you again! I'm so glad you liked this chapter. I had a lot of fun bringing it together so I'm glad you liked it too. Yeah, there was no way I was going to let Michael anywhere near the military. Michael with heavy weaponry? Not so much. So that left the door open for the Sweet Michael moment.
The telegram shouldn't really have been anything to worry about really. Remember, we still haven't caught up to the prologue yet. But still I'm glad it did get a reaction like this though.
The proposal was most assuredly inspired by the gas station, but there's also some lines from "Casino Night" in there as well as the foreheads touching and simultaneous I love you from "Paper Airplanes."
I'll start working on this one after Christmas and after I finish up the Christmas story I'm working on at the moment as well. Glad you liked this chapter. Always fun to hear from you.
Date: December 11, 2019 08:04 am Title: A New Diamond
I just found this story but love it! Everything is so well written, seamlessly weaving characters and actual lines from The Office into your unique story. Thank you for writing, I can't wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: Thank you! Always fun to have a new follower to a story. I'm very glad you're enjoying it so much. It's been a lot of fun to find good lines and moments from the show and weave them into this tale. Hope to hear more from you going forward.
Date: December 07, 2019 03:04 pm Title: A New Diamond
I realize it’s a typo, but seeing Michael Scott described as, “middle age mad,” in his first introduction gave me a good giggle. How very fitting.
This whole Michael interaction is glorious. The twins/triplets reference, Pam dropping that she has a boyfriend only for him to respond super enthusiastically to the fighter pilot mention. Just classic Michael Scott.
I used to play softball - I definitely don’t have the greatest knowledge of baseball - but, I feel like stealing a base is pretty standard in softball. Is that what you’re talking about it the letter, with the section on running the bases? Maybe it’s just how we play it here, but I can’t imagine that throwing off softball players... (Not that it’s really matters at all, it just made me pause, and try to dredge up memories from over a decade ago 😂)
Nice to see those familiar names in the team list! It’s always fun to see a Pam/Karen friendship and not at odds with each other over Jim.
Oh yes to Angela as chaperone. That sounds about right... And Phyllis as house mother - very fitting. Love the cute little nod to Vance refrigeration too. I wonder how many fridges Phyllis is going to need delivered? Or maybe, she’ll have to break the one they have and call them back for repairs - regularly...
Umm. Etiquette and makeup lessons? Sounds delightful. Is that part of the movie? It also sounds like a way to factor Kelly in (which I seem to think you’re leading to in just about every chapter)
“I think her cat did once” - I love that line so much. Fun to see it come into this too.
Bless Michael’s sweet heart. It’s always great to see his truly genuine and caring side. You had me scared there for a second with that official telegram business.
Boy oh boy, there’s a lot going on in this chapter... A proposal?! My heart. I mean, it was expected in the sense that it had to come as some stage thanks to the prologue. Seems fitting that Jim couldn’t hold off until he returned - very gas station, I couldn’t wait a second longer of him.
Author's Response: Yeah, that was a typo. Sometimes it's weird, I'll proofread and everything looks good, but when it gets posted typos seem to pop up. Glad you liked how I had Michael. It's sometimes hard to get him right. Most things from softball translate to baseball. The biggest differences (that I'm aware of) are the size of the ball, underhand vs. overhand pitching, and the distance between the bases, so hopefully you should be able to follow along as we go. The other thing is that a lot of times in softball you can't lead off bases, so you have to keep a foot on the bag. In baseball, between pitches you can take a few steps off the base to try and get better shot at stealing a base. Hope that clears that up. Base stealing, yes is standard, but doing so at a professional level, and being able to tell quickly if a pitcher is going to try and pick off the runner or throw home can be a hard skill to master. I figured the coaches would try to look at just about everything during tryouts. Thanks for the feedback on Karen. This will be a Pam and Karen as friends story. Those can get fun so I wanted to try my hand with that. The makeup and etiquette lessons are a thing the real All-American League players had to learn. So I figured I'd put that in here too.
Sorry to scare you with the telegram, but at the same time that's kind of what I was going for. It seemed like a good part to have a Good Micheal moment as well as put in Pam giving him a hug like at her art show in canon.
Speaking of canon, yes the lines from the proposal were stolen right from the gas station. Actually there were 4 canon moments there. Pam leaping into his arms to kiss him. Lines from Casino Night actually, the whole "its not the best timing," obviously the proposal, and them leaning their heads together and saying "I love you," from Paper Airplanes. Good times.
I always look forward to your reviews and this really in depth one was especially great. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much.
Date: November 14, 2019 03:05 pm Title: Paperhawk
Nice to see an update! I’m kind of hoping that Ryan appearing with lipstick on his collar means that Kelly is looming somewhere in the chapters to come. Although, I’m also definitely keen to see which of the Dunder Mifflin ladies show up in the baseball plot...
This chapter did feel a bit like a filler as you mentioned, but that only serves to make me all the more impatient for the next update...
Author's Response: Thanks. I needed to get things set up so that when Jim deploys the radio call signs and everything make sense. Yes Kelly will show up, but later. More baseball stuff to come next chapter.
Date: October 15, 2019 08:07 am Title: New Directions
I didn't expect this turn, but I'm so very much here for it. Also I can see how this is going to be the longest story ever, with two fully parallel stories going on. I very much enjoyed this chapter, especially the similarities to the show (please, though, don't have Pam discover she's pregnant after a baseball ankle injury...). I'm having a lot of fun checking in on each new character as I recognize the names.
Author's Response: That was the intent behind the two story lines. Hope you had fun looking into the names. I had to dig deep into wikipedia to fill out the roster for Jim's squadron. Glad you're still enjoying everything too.
Date: October 15, 2019 07:54 am Title: Starlight
I got a little behind on this one, but I really enjoyed this chapter. I loved the callbacks to the show, I'm enjoying the developing love story and also the Dwight-Jim friendship, but my favorite single line was this: "You know, some manure, just less than a whole field’s worth." Just well-timed within the story.
Author's Response: Glad to have you back. It's been a lot of fun putting in different lines and situations from the show. Glad you liked it.
Date: October 15, 2019 02:54 am Title: New Directions
Okay, Jim having his ceremony with William made me feel all the feelings. That was some unexpected sweetness/bonding.
Nice to see David Wallace introduced/included. Oh, and a few other bonus inclusions in that squadron list.
Huh. I was not expecting the baseball storyline, and was definitely not expecting that it was the catalyst of the story! That was a twist for sure!
I confess, I’ve never seen A League of Their Own - is it worth watching for context purposes?
I know you’re intending for this to be the longest story out there & I feel as if you’ve definitely opened up its potential with a whole new storyline in there for Pam too. You’ve really managed to surprise me with this... I now have my fingers crossed that we’ll get to see some of the other ladies from the Office in this context. I feel like Meredith would make a mean ball player...
Author's Response: Thanks Jenna. I'm having fun putting in little scenes like the Jim/William salute so I'm glad others are enjoying those too. As I told Comfect, I had to dig deep into wikipediea to get all the names for the squadron roster. Some were a given, but to get the full list took some looking.
It shouldn't be 100% crucial to watch "A League of Their Own," and still follow this story. For context purposes so you'll have an idea of what the baseball uniforms and such look like it might be worth it. We'll most assuredly see some of the Office ladies as this new story line starts to build up.
Date: September 19, 2019 11:33 pm Title: Starlight
Life has just managed to get absolutely insane (work in general and I’m 5 days away from having baby #2) but I’ve managed to spend my evening relaxing and catching up on this story. Love how you’re taking the time to really set the stage with their relationship. It doesn’t feel rushed at all...it’s nice to see the small things come together for them and the relationship develop into something beautiful. The teasing and joking mixed with some romance and tenderness is a perfect blend.
Love how you added in the list of things from the Booze Cruise. Always fun to see pieces of the show fit right into a story...especially one as AU as this one. The banter between Jim and Dwight was spot on...I’m interested to see if Jim and Pam actually do go to the beet farm at some point in the story.
Glad Mark and Jim are sticking around a bit longer. I think developing their relationships with the Beesley sisters will make it just that much more interesting as the story unfolds and we get back to the time frame from your first chapter.
Looking forward to what comes next in this!!
Author's Response: First and foremost, early congrats on the new kiddo. I hope all goes well with that. Secondly, great to hear from you again.
I'm glad the story is working well for you. One of the things I've been concerned about is that I'm dragging things out. So I'm glad to get some feedback saying the slower approach is working. It's a lot of fun to mine the show and find fun things to add in. The lines from the Booze Cruise and the beet farm for example. Also Pam's "you're on dangerous ground."
Thank you very much for the feedback. I hope the rest of the story lives up to any expectations you might have.
Date: September 10, 2019 11:32 pm Title: Starlight
The reference to the Booze Cruise & Michael’s strange list of decoy “must brings” was great! I love how always manage to insert many a moment from canon (& in pretty unique ways no less). Which leads me to asking, does Gould have a wife named Jan who will make an appearance at some stage?
I wouldn’t necessarily call this a filler chapter, what with Pam and Jim’s weekend away feeling fairly significant to their journey. Nice to have confirmation that Jim & Mark will remain at the base. I have to admit, I was half hoping that Dwight would turn around & say that he was “pranking” then by telling them he was leaving. I loved all the references to Schrute Farms. I think that manure line is one of my favorite laugh out loud kind of moments in canon, so I was very onboard with you repurposing it here!
Looking forward to reading about the rest of Pam & Jim’s weekend away!
Author's Response: I always look forward to your reviews Jenna. Mainly because it seems like you're the only one leaving me reviews these days. Thank you. I'll admit it's a lot of fun to weave in all the canon elements. If you go back and watch, "Money," you'll also find the online review Jim and Pam left woven in here as well. Does Major Gould have a Jan? Interesting question to be sure. Forgive me, but we'll just have to wait and see.
Since you've been so great about reviewing, I will let you in on a little secret. The next chapter sadly will not be a continuation of this weekend getaway. However at some point I'm sure it'll come back up. I need to advance the plot more with the next chapters, but also needed to stop in here at this point in their story as well.
Again thank you so very much for your constant reviews. It's very much appreciated.
Date: August 23, 2019 03:17 pm Title: Thanksgiving
This is exactly the sort of interaction I’d imagine Roy’s mother having with Pam’s mother post their break up. I think you nailed it. Helene, still polite and Marge abrupt and short seems completely in character with the very little we know (assume?) from canon.
I really liked the contrast between Roy and Jim and their letter sending habits. A very simple, but effective way of highlighting the differences of character between the two. Obviously Helene values family so it’s interesting to see this as a bit of a catalyst for her to let go of some of her Jim hang-ups. The contrast between Jim and Roy in the early mornings on the farm also felt very true to character. I can imagine Roy grumping his way around the place as William silently rolled his eyes.
I loved the declarations of serious intentions in this chapter. Jim handing over his wings was so lovely.
Looking forward to seeing what plot points you delve into in the next installment...
Author's Response: Thanks Jenna. I'm glad all the effort worked for you. Earlier drafts had a lot more conforntational tones with the Helene/Marge interactions. Other than that I'm glad you picked up on just about everything I was trying to include here. Thank you as always for the great feedback.
Date: July 18, 2019 11:03 pm Title: Dying Coals
I gotta say, I totally did not expect to get sucked in by this one, yet I find I'm more than a little obsessed. Wartime stories just aren't really what I think of as my kind of story but my oh my this is just... crazy good. The fact that it hooked me and just refused to let go from chapter 1 is a real credit to you as an author. It's not the fact that it's an AU that I didn't expect to like, I find I actually love AUs. Honestly these days I really favor them because I think we've had all the bigger moments in Jim and Pam's relationship that are canon, told and retold over and over in so many styles and ways and interpretations that even when someone finds a way to spin it slightly differently, it's still just telling the same things again and again. What I love is what you are showing such and amazing talent for. I love that you're taking moments from canon, things that we really love and reinterpreting it into a way that fits smoothly into the story you're telling here. I find there are times that authors try and do that and they try to force it in ways and places that it just doesn't fit and I find myself shaking my head and saying what a waste. What. A. Waste!!! ;) Not with you. I find that the moments you choose to use and the places you fill them in are pretty brilliant. You truly are a compelling story teller.
Something I really find intriguing is the dynamic between Pam and each of her parents and honestly, just the personalities of Mr and Mrs Beesly. Most writers seem to write Pam and her mom as super close and if there's any issues or strain it tends to be between Pam and her dad. Mr. Beesly I find is often written as cold or distant or at least just not really close to Pam. It's also very often written as Mr. Beesly and Roy being especially close and Mrs. Beesly's relationship and feelings about Roy tends to run the spectrum from her already considering him a son to her often feeling that he's just not right for Pam or even negligent or thoughtless. So I find it really interesting to read a point of view where Mrs Beesly is the one that is especially vested in the relationship between Pam and Roy to the point where she just doesn't seem to care how negligent he was to her daughter. In contrast we have Mr Beesly who is so wonderfully warm and clearly especially close to both of his daughters. What I also appreciate and find very interesting is the fact that you make Mr Beesly warm and very supportive of his daughters but while he may clearly disagree and be unsupportive of his wife's views and ways, he's also very clearly a loving husband and really the only one that Mrs Beesly seems to be willing to listen to even if only marginally.
I'm pretty concerned here at the end of this last chapter for what Pam's mom is starting to formulate in her own head. It's frustrating that Helene seems unable or unwilling to see both how unhappy and frustrated Pam had become with Roy and that relationship and how happy she is and how much the relationship with Jim is thriving based on I believe love even if they aren't calling it that yet, and mutual respect. How frustrating and sad that Pam's mom is so hung up on what the ladies at church and others may think that rather than supporting her daughter and her new relationship and explaining how much happier Pam is now, she's stuck, determined to try and guide Pam back to a relationship that if she's successful, will make Pam unhappy and unfulfilled. How sad for a mom to care more about the views of others than the feelings of your child.
I cannot wait to see what more you have in store for us. You are a delightfully talented author with an intriguing and extremely interesting story to tell and I cannot wait to read lots more of it!
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you! I think that this may be the longest review I've ever received in over ten years of writing fanfiction. It's been a lot of fun to weave in those elements from the show and I'm so glad that they've come across so well. There are just so many great lines and moments that it's all but impossible for me to not include them in some way.
Thanks for the critique on the dynamic with Pam and her parents. I agree that a lot of things have been done over and over again. Because of that I'm doing my best to try and put a new spin on things. Having this dynamic with Helene and Pam was just one way to explore that. You're not the only one to worry about what Helene is up to considering how I worded things at the end of the chapter.
I very much appreciate the support. Hope to hear more from you going forward.