Date: July 16, 2019 04:33 pm Title: Dying Coals
I'm glad you posted this, though the end there is ominous for how part 2 is going to go...I really enjoy how you reuse canon elements (here most notably the switch from Jim to Helene as Pam's target for "I just don't get Roy" and "I'm cold", which changes the meaning a bit). The characterization remains strong. Good work.
Author's Response: Thanks Comfect. It's a lot of fun to find new ways to use everything. Thanks for the comments on Pam and Helene's chilly relationship. It's one of the fun things about writing, discovering how the story goes as one writes it. I'm glad the characters are making sense even if things aren't all bright and sunny right now.
Date: July 16, 2019 04:11 pm Title: Dying Coals
I have to say, this is probably the first time I haven’t liked Pam’s mum in the fic world. Normally she’s written as very pro-Jim. This is a fun change. I have a feeling she’s about to cause all sorts of problems...
As always, I thoroughly enjoyed the repurposing of snippets from the show. The prank on Dwight was fantastic. Reusing the Booze Cruise with Helene? So, so good.
I’m really looking forward to the second part of Thanksgiving & saying what mayhem Helene manages to achieve...
Author's Response: Thank you as always for your kind words Jenna. That's the fun thing with AU I'm finding is that it allows for a lot more flexibility with the characters. Still it's important to keep an eye on the source material, thus the things from the show. I hope I can live up to your expectations.
Date: June 19, 2019 10:30 pm Title: First Flight
As I mentioned when you started sharing this epic, I’m not always a fan of AUs, & I was struggling a little at the beginning of this chapter, but to end it like that! It’s basically Pam’s first day at Dunder Mifflin, complete with the cast of characters! I loved the repurposing of the S4 interaction with Ryan so, so much!
I’m also enjoying the Jim/Dwight dynamic that you’ve created so well. It’s a delight.
I’m so excited that Pam and Jim are going to be in the same space for the time being. I liked the letters, but there’s no beating actual interaction! Plus, it opens us up for Pam to know (& come to enjoy I’m sure) Dwight...
Author's Response: Thanks Jenna. I'm doing my best to add in familiar elements to this for basically just that purpose. It's easy to get lost in an AU I think so putting in things like pranks or lines from the show help keep things grounded to my mind. At first I wasn't going to have Pam there at Jim's airfield, but I changed my mind. I'm glad that element came across well. Thanks for sticking with this as you have.
Date: June 19, 2019 11:57 am Title: First Flight
I like the twist at the end, and the reuse of DM Infinity dialogue. Generally, as usual with your chapters, a nice quantity of detail combined with good storytelling. At times it feels a little long, but I think that's because I'm a WWII buff so some of the stuff seemed kind of basic--I think overall it's helpful to ground that heavily in the period, so keep it up.
Author's Response: It was a fun to put in the DM Infinity scene. Trying to make sure this stays an Office fic rather than straying to far into original story just using unoriginal characters. I get what you're saying about how it can get a little long. Part of that is because I'm trying to set things up so that I don't have to repeat myself a lot when we get into future chapters with Jim in the air. Thanks for the heads up though.
Date: June 19, 2019 11:03 am Title: Prologue
I love this story. Hope there’s another update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you. I try to update as quickly as life allows.
1 [Report This]Date: June 01, 2019 08:10 pm Title: The First Letter
I’m a sucker for a good father-daughter dynamic and this was adorable. I like this as the catalyst for Pam leaving the farm (& I also like the potential for all the more Pam & Jim quality time). I think your Helene is a good fit for the time, I can see how she would struggle with the loss of Roy & all he potentially represents.
Author's Response: Thanks. A lot of times I kind of surprise myself when it comes to writing. While I might have an outline for this story the specifics will just come out kind of organically as I write. That's kind of how it was with Helene's characterization. So I'm glad that it turned out well. Thanks as always for the great comments.
1 [Report This]Date: May 31, 2019 11:32 am Title: The First Letter
I like this Pam-William dynamic. And frankly this feels very second-Pam's-mom to me, the one who dates Michael even though it's obviously a problem for her daughter. She's a bit self-focused and it comes through here.
Author's Response: I was going for more traditional and stubborn with Helene, but yes self-focused works too. Glad you liked how I had Pam with William. Thanks as always for your input.
1 [Report This]Date: May 25, 2019 09:08 am Title: Coney Island
Very adorable. I'm glad that the Roy thing is clearly expressed and dealt with. Looking forward for the actual war too!
Author's Response: Thank you. Fun thing about AU's is that there's a bit more of a clean slate to deal with things like that. Be careful what you wish for when it comes to the war, there's a reason I rated this story the way I did. We still need to get Jim through pilot training though so that's a little bit off. Thanks for the support as always.
1 [Report This]Date: May 24, 2019 09:38 pm Title: Coney Island
It really was a good day! Ah, to be young & completely smitten... I find it difficult to comment when there’s nothing more to say than, more please - which is the situation I find myself in after this chapter. I wanted to ask, the information you’re adding about squadrons, planes, etc., did you research specifically for this fic? Or is a preexisting area of interest/knowledge? You certainly come across like you know what you’re talking about (particularly to someone like myself who knows nothing of the sort). I feel like I’m learning as I go with this story... It’s very sweet that the anecdote with your wife has made it into fic - I think it’s easiest to write what we know & a little part of ourselves makes it into every story (& that’s how we end up with a great variety of many takes on the same characters/events).
Author's Response: Thank you. It was a lot of fun to write this chapter. I've always been a military history buff so there's a lot I knew already. However I have done A TON of extra research for this fic which has added a lot to what I've already known, so a bit of both there. I'm glad you're still enjoying this so much.
1 [Report This]Date: May 12, 2019 08:36 pm Title: Night on the Town
The inclusion of Dwight in this story was everything I didn’t know I needed, but now can’t imagine it without. It was brilliant. I also thought the “I love Italian food,” line was a great touch.
Author's Response: Thank you. Even though this is AU, it's still an Office fanfic so there will be elements from the show that will work their way in. Glad you like it.
1 [Report This]Date: May 12, 2019 04:00 pm Title: Night on the Town
I enjoy "Griff" as Mark, and of course I love Dwight as you've done him. Though I'm still sad he's not German! ;) This is building up really nicely, though of course I know we're going to get to that initial flash-forward at some point so all will not always be peaches and cream.
Author's Response: It would be easy to have German Dwight, but Jim and Pam pranking him is such a big part of their relationship, I saw no reason to change that. No, not everything will be peaches and cream as you say, there is a war on after all, but I did want to build their relationship before he deploys. Thanks as always for your comments.
1 [Report This]Date: May 12, 2019 03:53 pm Title: Night on the Town
I’m loving this. Being introduced to Dwight this chapter was brilliant, and I really liked how they guys still all play pranks on him.
Pam blossoming is also an excellent element, one that I always enjoy. I loved how you described her happiness in this chapter.
Looking forward to what comes next, and as always, really well done :)
Author's Response: Thank you. Even though this is AU I felt there still needed to be some elements that people would recognize. Pranks is one of them. Also thanks for the insight about Pam. I was nervous I'd made her reacting to strongly to Jim so soon after we find out she's broken off her engagement. However Jim has always brought out the best in Pam so I'm glad that came across well.
1 [Report This]Date: May 05, 2019 07:26 pm Title: New York, New Start
The part with Pam and Penny making their way from the train station to the apartment was written so well I could see it playing out in my head. Love how you made it so Pam was single...makes for one less obstacle for Jim to overcome to get his lady...cause being a pilot in the war seems like enough of an obstacle to me haha. I knew it was going to be Todd Packer in the bar scene before you had him introduce himself just by your description so again...awesome job setting the scene so vividly! Ready for the next chapter! 👍🏻
Author's Response: One of my favorite authors once said, "paint a picture with words." It's a thought that's stuck with me during a lot of my writings. I'm glad I was able to help you imagine the scenes clearly. Yeah, I wanted Roy out of the way early this time. For basically those reasons, and my inherent dislike of Roy in general. Thanks for the feedback.
1 [Report This]Date: May 03, 2019 04:11 pm Title: New York, New Start
Aww. I like this meet-cute. And good on Jim for punishing Packer. Also enjoying your characterization of Penny, and your discussion of how Roy didn't change over time. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: At first I was thinking of having Jim punch out Packer or something, but after floating the idea in a chat, I figured a prank would work better. Thanks as always for your comments. Glad to know people are liking how I'm writing everyone thus far.
1 [Report This]Date: May 03, 2019 12:13 am Title: New York, New Start
This was fun, I like that you’re going back from the prologue to explain how they met, etc. It’s great to know that Roy’s already out of the picture (& that Pam came to all those conclusions on her own! If only we’d had a little more of that earlier in the show...) Nice to see Penny making an appearance as well. Looking forward to seeing more of this week first meeting!
Author's Response: Thanks. Rewinding from the prologue may be an old trick, but it works. Since I've got Pam still living at home, to my mind it seems she'd be able to get a better perspective on Roy since they don't see each other constantly since they also don't live together or work together. So Pam was able to figure things out a bit faster. Also I wanted to just get that out of the way and have her meet Jim. Glad you enjoyed it.
1 [Report This]Date: May 02, 2019 01:48 pm Title: New York, New Start
Yes, we’ve got some Jim and Pam action going on!
I really like how you’ve portrayed Pam in this chapter. I could almost picture her there at the busy train station with one of those little hand-held leather suitcases.
Overall, this is just a really great start, and I’m excited to see what happens next.
Author's Response: That's exactly what I was going for with Pam in the train station. Glad to hear that you liked how I'm writing her. Thanks for the support and the review. There's going to be a lot of exposition in the next chapter or two so I can get things set up for later chapters, but it should still be fun.
1 [Report This]Date: April 29, 2019 10:21 am Title: Prologue
Great start! Looking forward to what's coming next.
Author's Response: Thanks, it should be a lot of fun.
1 [Report This]Date: April 29, 2019 05:48 am Title: Prologue
Oh warrior. You know how you felt about Pam and Ryan? That’s how I feel about WWII. Like, I’ve never even seen The Notebook and I fell asleep during Pearl Harbor. In the theater. On a date.
But I’m here, and I’m giving this a chance! I’m very confused - they may as well be on a spaceship for all I know, but I kind of understand what’s going on because you described it very well. It was kind of fun to try and decipher the code names.
Not a lot of Jam to start off to start here but I’m crossing my fingers for that to change soon! And you know, that Jim doesn’t die. ;)
Author's Response: I very much appreciate you being here. Don't worry, I've never seen The Notebook either. As for Pearl Harbor, I get it, it's pre-Transformers Michael Bay putting all sorts of Bay-hem, on the screen. Don't worry about not getting a lot of the references right now as far as what kind of airplane is what or things like that. All things will be explained in time. Yeah, not a lot of JAM to start here, but don't worry, it's coming. Thanks for your vote of confidence in being here for this.
1 [Report This]Date: April 28, 2019 08:08 pm Title: Prologue
Very nicely situated in time and space. Really hope we get German Dwight. Looking forward to this going nice and long.
Author's Response: Thank you. Dwight will show up for sure, but German or American? Well we'll just have to see.
1 [Report This]Date: April 28, 2019 07:16 am Title: Prologue
I’ve been *patiently* waiting for your next story and the wait was worth it!! I’m such a sucker the for WW2 era stories (Pearl Harbor is one of my favorite movies of all time 🥰) so this is going to be an exciting adventure! Looking forward to seeing how you develop their relationship through letters and where they are in their relationship...is she with Roy? Are they just friends right now? Ahh I’m excited for the next chapter! Hoping for some chill nights at work for you (I won’t jinx you with the dreaded “Q” word haha and make your shifts crazy) so the next chapter can come quickly! Longest story on the archive...you’ve got this!
Author's Response: Thank you. Glad to have you aboard. Hopefully what I've got planned will live up to your expectations. I like what I've got planned, so I'm hoping others will too. Thanks for not using the "Q" or "S" words. Hope you have good shifts too. Stay safe.
1 [Report This]Date: April 27, 2019 05:41 pm Title: Prologue
Are you aiming for longest story that you’ve personally written, or longest story on the archive? What’s the word count you’d need to hit? Either way, I’m excited to follow along!
I don’t traditionally go for AUs. I’m more of a fix-the-ep, fill-the-gap, kind of gal. That said, I’m down for any well-written epic (which this looks set to be). Besides, who couldn’t love Pam & Jim in any setting... I’m looking forward to see where you go with this, I’ll definitely be tuning in!
Author's Response: I'm going for longest story on the archive. A challenge to be sure, but hey aim high. This will need to be over 163,000 words to reach that mark, so we've got a ways to go. Glad to have you along for this ride, or is flight the right word here? I hope you'll enjoy what I've got planned.
1 [Report This]Date: April 27, 2019 01:41 pm Title: Prologue
I love this idea, it’s so original yet still so classic. A WW2 AU is such a good route to go down, and the idea of the letters is such a good way to communicate, I always find them to be so emotional. Excellent start!
Author's Response: Thanks. I've been working on the research for this one for a while so it's fun to finally start bringing it to life. I hope it will live up to your expectations.