1 [Report This]Date: December 16, 2020 07:52 pm Title: Chapter 9: Something in the way you move
Pam being on some level aware of how Jim feels is a very different choice, as is Pam trying to work through it by talking to Jim. Good on you for taking this in a different direction.
This feels very appropriately sweet and fraught and awkward – you did a good job navigating this really unsteady and confusing moment of their relationship, full of mixed signals and desires that need to met in the long run and probably shouldn’t be in the short run and start-and-stop and increasing serious flirtation, and then allowing them to finally come together.
1 [Report This]Date: January 13, 2020 06:45 am Title: Chapter 5: I Want You to Stay
You said you were unsure about writing a plausible Roy/Pam break-up...And I think you've made an excellent job of it! Really enjoying this story so far.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed.
Date: July 30, 2019 05:14 pm Title: Chapter 9: Something in the way you move
As usual, an excellent update. Thank you for the story! It was a lot of fun.
Author's Response: thank you Comfect, that means a lot!
Date: July 28, 2019 09:22 pm Title: Chapter 1: Not Really Sure How to Feel About It
What an ending! I loved the date, I loved the forgotten lasagna, I loved the way they realized they were way past “like”.
Thank you for this great read!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Date: July 28, 2019 03:22 pm Title: Chapter 9: Something in the way you move
But what about the lasagna? It seems to be a theme around here recently that when Pam and Jim go to bed for the first time they leave some form of food uneaten. Then again, heading back to the kitchen for a clothes-less dinner would be a good way to recover for round two, so there's that.
Very sensual and descriptive writing. Easy to see the images in the minds eye as well as the feelings of both of them. Great job in bringing them together like this.
Author's Response:
Warrior! I tried to set the reader's mind at rest by having Jim turn off the oven.:-) I'm always the one worrying about burned food and spilled wine when I'm reading.
Thank you for reading and reviewing. Much appreciated!
1 [Report This]Date: July 22, 2019 12:25 am Title: Chapter 8: It's Hard to Know Which One of Us is Caving
So this story is great and I especially love this chapter... their sexy flirty banter and overall fluffiness is perfect.
But this little bit right here you should just go ahead and copy/paste into its own little story because it’s perfect and I freaking love it and I would read it again and again!
“You like me scruffy, huh?” he teased softly. He'd purposely not shaved that morning, thinking of her as he set the razor back on the counter.
“Mmmm,” she murmured, so close to his lips that the vibration made him shiver, “I like you any way I can get you.”
“Beesley!” he said quietly, sounding surprised but pleased. She had no idea where this flirty Pam had been hiding, but she liked it. She nipped at his lips with hers, and he groaned, and covered her mouth with his.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Your words made me smile. I'm so glad you're enjoying it.
Date: July 21, 2019 07:59 pm Title: Chapter 8: It's Hard to Know Which One of Us is Caving
I am really digging this story! The buildup in each chapter makes me check my phone all the time for updates! I am really hoping we get to see that real date Jim said he wanted to take her on before...
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I think there's one more chapter and I promise it will include the date. :-)
Date: July 21, 2019 07:20 am Title: Chapter 8: It's Hard to Know Which One of Us is Caving
This was all very cute along with being steamy. You capture their sense of the newness of their infatuation very well. It's new and exciting but underneath there's the foundations for a much deeper relationship starting to form. It was really a lot of fun to read this and see the joy in both of them as they start out on their relationship together.
Author's Response: Warrior you're so kind. I'm glad the sense I'm trying to express is coming through.
Date: July 13, 2019 10:05 am Title: Chapter 7: If You Dare, Come a Little Closer
Good on Pam making sure to tell Roy to get out. You had Roy try to pull a classic move there in order to try and still be a part of her life. That Pam saw right through it was really good to see. She doesn't need that kind of person in her life anymore and she has the confidence to stand up for it.
Speaking of confidence. How she is the one to really initiate things with Jim? Great way to keep adding to her previous feelings. All in all great writing to show how Pam is reveling in being free of a relationship that only held her back. Very sweet and steamy scenes with Jim there against the wall and on the couch. Lots of fun.
Author's Response: Thank you! This made me smile. I figure that Pam is sort of in the power position...I mean, Jim told her he liked her so she knows how he feels. And Roy - yeah I can't stand manipulative bullshit so I just can't let Pam get involved in it.
1 [Report This]Date: July 04, 2019 07:35 am Title: Chapter 6: Tell Me Now You Know
This is in character for Jim--the part of Jim's character I've never liked, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist--and I appreciate you reigning it in via a strong Pam. I could see them having this interaction and I think you showed it well.
Author's Response: Yeah, there are times when it seems like Jim has never had to accept no, or not right now, as the answer. I think that Pam has a lot of strength in her, and she's not putting up with his BS.
1 [Report This]Date: July 02, 2019 10:42 pm Title: Chapter 6: Tell Me Now You Know
Yes I do think this is believable. Considering this time around Roy's still in the picture, or at least in the same building, I think it makes complete sense for Pam to be acting like this. I like that Pam is doing her best to make sure her relationship with Roy is 100% over before she really gets into a new relationship with Jim. Not just because of Roy's threat, but because she seems to know that her heart needs a little time to heal before it can move onto something new. Should we call this Almost Fancy New Beesly? That might work.
I do kind of feel for Jim. You capture his wild and very conflicted feelings nicely here. Good on him to realize he was being a jerk about seeing Pam and Roy in the parking lot. Getting over all the resentment he has for Roy isn't something he can let go of overnight. Especially when he has the prospect of a real romantic relationship with Pam now.
I also like that Jim and Pam are talking to each other. Yes some of the deeper conversations might still be a bit awkward, but they're still kind of new to the whole concept. Makes sense they'd still need some practice at it. But they are talking and it's paying off in that as the Pam/Roy relationship is ending the Pam/Jim relationship is already starting to grow and on a good foundation too. Great job.
Author's Response: Thanks for your reviews warrior. They are so detailed and it means a lot.
1 [Report This]Date: July 02, 2019 09:26 pm Title: Chapter 6: Tell Me Now You Know
I love that Pam needs to kind of find herself & be herself & square things up with Roy before jumping into this thing with Jim. I love that she’s also kind of jumping into this thing with Jim regardless and there’s that understanding between them of all the things to come.
I’m glad Roy has kind of softened for now & trying to be a better version of himself than angry-Roy. In typical Roy form it seems it’s too little, too late.
I can’t wait to see what you have in store next for our favorite pair. There’s such a nice balance of sweetness and tension in this story.
Author's Response: Thank you!
Date: July 01, 2019 07:12 am Title: Chapter 5: I Want You to Stay
Interesting place to leave it.
I think you did well with the breakup scene; making it a small flashback allowed you to hit the points you wanted without tying you to writing it all out in detail. Well done.
1 [Report This]Date: June 30, 2019 11:39 pm Title: Chapter 5: I Want You to Stay
Wow. What a chapter! I’m always here for a Pam/Roy break up & this felt very natural. I don’t think Roy’s an idiot, but I’m not sure he’s quite in tune enough to notice the thing with Jim... But the again, maybe he is? I liked the inclusion here. It works. I’m concerned to see what happens if Roy clues on to Pam staying with Jim, or anything else in future - I don’t see too positive a reaction occurring there. That said, I enjoy a good fic confrontation so if that’s where you go, I am on board!
I could feel the Pam/Jim chemistry spilling off the page. You write it so well. I was so excited to see you had updated!
1 [Report This]Date: June 30, 2019 11:27 pm Title: Chapter 5: I Want You to Stay
Good for Pam to break things off with Roy. I was thinking she was going to try and see what Roy thought of their relationship a bit more. See if there was anything there still to salvage. But it seems like you had her having her mind made up to break up with Roy before she started talking to him. That works too. His confused emotions, seem appropriate too. Now we'll see if anything comes of all that anger directed at Jim. Is Dwight going to need that pepper spray? Guess we'll see at some point.
Nice moment Jim and Pam have there at the table. It's always nice to see them kissing too. Looking forward to seeing where we go from here.
Date: June 26, 2019 06:35 pm Title: Chapter 4: Round and around and around and around we go
I know I keep saying this,but poor Jim! The guy just can't catch his breath, can he? You're doing a fantastic job in showing his confusion and conflicting feelings, and the panic at not knowing at all what Pam is thinking.
Thanks for the visual of shower Jim. You're a doll for that!
"The sparks between them were almost visible. His gaze flickered to her mouth, and she blushed, then looked down at the floor. When she looked back up at Jim he was smiling, a knowing smile that seemed to say, ‘I’m thinking exactly what you think I’m thinking.’ She gave him a tiny smile back, shaking her head slightly as if to reprimand him for naughty thoughts. Then she turned to leave, murmuring about having some work to do." I can SEE this scene playing out and I love it so much.
Oh you know what else I love? This version of Pam's mom! This is a Helene I can get behind... lady knows what's up. As sad as it is, I love the added note of Pam not speaking to her for 2 months after she got engaged because Helene didn't approve.
And that quote! It's so perfect. I can't wait to see what happens next! What's Pam going to do next??
Author's Response: Jim showering is never a bad image. I blame certain pictures from Jack Ryan that were shared in certain chat nights for my obsession with showering Jim. ;-)
1 [Report This]Date: June 26, 2019 06:22 pm Title: Chapter 3: You're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving
It's fine. Don't worry that I spent this entire chapter screaming "Kiss her!" at my computer screen. Totally fine and normal over here.
"Sparks flew" I don't even care if this isn't a direct TSwift reference, I'm calling it as one ;)
Whew, they kissed. Yeah they did.
Author's Response: "Sparks flew" - I'll take any TSwift references that you find and claim them as intentional!
1 [Report This]Date: June 26, 2019 06:16 pm Title: Chapter 2: It's Not Much of a Life You're Living
I have to admit, that first paragraph made me laugh, because yikes - when you put it that way, I'm surprised Jim didn't jump from that boat after everything happened.
I love a good IM conversation between these two, and I especially love paranoid Jim. Poor guy, how could he have any idea what he's about to get himself into.
Man, you gave me another version of Roy to hate... there's never enough of those, honestly. He's such a slug.
Oh Pam. She's got it so bad. Again, I don't blame her.
These two have gotten themselves into quite the predicament in Jim's kitchen! I don't hate it...
1 [Report This]Date: June 26, 2019 05:58 pm Title: Chapter 1: Not Really Sure How to Feel About It
Ah! I'm so excited to see this posted!
I love the idea of a "less dramatic" declaration from Jim. His "I like you" met by her "I know"? It's so good!
"It felt like she was hugging him not out of friendship, but with a desperate need for comfort that strangely only he could provide." That line. That's my favorite in this chapter.
And there's Kelly, ruining a good thing.
"Jim was a man." Okay I lied, this is my favorite line of the whole chapter. Yes Pam. Yes he is.
Author's Response: I love that you loved: Jim was a man. Sometimes you don't notice somebody in "that way". Until you do. And then you can't stop noticing.
1 [Report This]Date: June 25, 2019 11:44 pm Title: Chapter 4: Round and around and around and around we go
First of all, thank you for essentially forcing me to imagine Jim showering at multiple junctures in this story!
The line about Friday was far too real. It really is a special brand of energy.
I really enjoyed this chapter, Pam weighing things up felt genuine. The addition of her mother not liking Roy, & asking about Jim was great. I feel like it would be pretty natural for a mother to feel that way based on Roy’s general Roy-ness & I’m sure Pam would speak fondly of Jim to her mom,
Looking forward to what comes next!
Author's Response: Darn it, I gave Coley the response I meant to give you. Let me summarize: Jim showering=GOOD!
1 [Report This]Date: June 25, 2019 08:21 pm Title: Chapter 4: Round and around and around and around we go
I am enjoying this story, and I'm glad we got a little more into Pam's head this time. I'd recommend . {}, or [] instead of () next time you can't get the italics to work though, because we use regular parentheses more often so the reader first tries to interpret them as parentheticals and only then later realizes they are intended as inner monologue. * also work well. I am looking forward to your writing Roy and Pam, though I understand why you've had her putting it off; it's in character.
Author's Response: I got the italics to work! Thank you for the tips.
1 [Report This]Date: June 25, 2019 08:14 pm Title: Chapter 3: You're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving
I like this, although I would have loved more of Pam's POV in it. Nice work.
Author's Response: Thanks for the reviews! I guess I'm taking artistic license with their reactions to the cameras. I'm glad the words they spoke felt in character. In some ways they're so easy to write and in other ways, very difficult.
1 [Report This]Date: June 25, 2019 08:11 pm Title: Chapter 2: It's Not Much of a Life You're Living
"He’d broken up with Katy in just about the worst way possible - with no explanation and no kindness to soften the blow;" this makes a lot more sense in this AU context.
I am a little confused though; if the cameras are there, why aren't Pam and Jim more freaked out by having said what they did on the boat in front of the cameras?
I am enjoying her being flustered by him and him being worried she's sick. It's a nice dynamic and feels in character.
1 [Report This]Date: June 25, 2019 08:08 pm Title: Chapter 1: Not Really Sure How to Feel About It
I am a sucker for any story that has Kelly bursting out to tell Pam that Roy has set a date. I think you did well with putting those necessary words in both Pam's and Jim's mouths.
1 [Report This]Date: June 25, 2019 08:05 pm Title: Chapter 4: Round and around and around and around we go
Good way to keep things moving here. A very introspective type of chapter to be sure. I do like that they're both being careful with each other. They know the possibilities of things being shattered is there and they're taking pains that their connection is something that wouldn't break. Good writing to bring that out.
Pam's awakening here is also great to see. She's finally taking stock of what she really wants not what she thinks she wants or what might be the easiest. It would be easy to stay where she is, but as she's finding out it might not be the best. Good for her for being that honest with herself.
You're still doing a great job with this.
Author's Response: Thank you!