1 [Report This]Date: August 11, 2019 08:24 pm Title: Chapter 8
I think Jim's words are telling here. The calm before the storm. I mean don't get me wrong it's wonderful to see both of them home with their families like this. It's great to see warmth coming back in their lives. I just get the feeling that since we've had Pam's breakdown moment, now we're about to get into Jim's. If that's the case thanks for giving them a day of peace before that storm breaks.
Anyway, like I said it was great to see them like this. That Jim's family really is behind him now is great to see. Not just Larissa, but Pete too.
I really liked the Pam section. That she's internalized everything and made it into her war cry as you said was a powerful scene to envision. Obviously there are still scars on her heart and likely always will be. But now she's starting to look past them. Way to go Pam.
I also get why she's so nervous about anything Jim related too. Here is a guy who really gets her. She wants to hold tight, but there's still fear there. Fear that if she opens her heart again it'll get trampled again. Legitimate fear to be sure. But then Penny shows up with the words of wisdom she needs. Great line there with Penny telling her to be careful with her heart and his. Penny's not saying keep your heart closed, she saying treat it gently. It's still healing and still fragile but it's getting stronger.
I didn't really watch a lot of How I Met Your Mother so the references went by me, but knowing your skill as a writer, I'm sure they were on point.
1 [Report This]Date: August 11, 2019 06:44 pm Title: Chapter 8
What did that Sarah do to Jim I await every new chapter and check the most recent story’s daily just for this.
Date: July 28, 2019 12:38 am Title: Chapter 7
I loved that we got Karen’s perspective in this chapter too. I also love that you’re not setting her up as a love interested in any way. Definitely a few more hints at Jim’s history too - enough to leave us intrigued. I’m enjoying this story so much!
1 [Report This]Date: July 24, 2019 11:11 am Title: Chapter 7
After the bodyslam that was last chapter, I'm glad you didn't really go into more really heavy stuff with this chapter. It feels like everyone needed some time to decompress. The opening bit with Pam and Jim getting breakfast and going to the park did that very nicely too. It seems that very slowly hope is starting to bloom back in their lives. It's fragile and small at this point, but it's there.
I liked how you had Karen. Yes, she's direct but she's also not harsh. That's a difficult balance to achieve, but she pulls it off well with Jim here. She pushes Jim just enough out of his comfort zone to get him to take a look around, but not so far as to cause him to panic and regress. Great way to use her character like that.
Seeing Penny was also good. She clearly loves Pam and Pam clearly loves her. That Penny is there to keep Pam honest about any booze in the home as well as her confidence that Pam can make progress was wonderful to see.
Jim and Pam's bond keeps growing. I love that they are there for each other. That they want to be there for each other. I hope we get to see more of that as the story goes on.
1 [Report This]Date: July 24, 2019 03:00 am Title: Chapter 7
Your dialogue is so good. I forgot I was reading and just fell into this.
1 [Report This]Date: July 18, 2019 05:29 pm Title: Chapter 1
God I love this story and I’m so so so ready to see what you do with it.
1 [Report This]Date: July 17, 2019 05:08 pm Title: Chapter 1
So we'll written,such a divergent from the Pam and Jim story. Thank you for making Michael a savior in this story. He comes off as a buffoon in so many stories. Impatiently waiting on the next chapter.
1 [Report This]Date: July 17, 2019 05:08 pm Title: Chapter 1
So we'll written,such a divergent from the Pam and Jim story. Thank you for making Michael a savior in this story. He comes off as a buffoon in so many stories. Impatiently waiting on the next chapter.
1 [Report This]Date: July 10, 2019 11:11 pm Title: Chapter 6
I know you’ve mentioned your love for breaking readers and, holy hell, job well done. Here I am reading chapter 6 in bed and trying to quiet my sobs enough to not wake my husband. Gah!! So good. 💔
1 [Report This]Date: July 10, 2019 04:25 pm Title: Chapter 3
Oh! Whew! Geez! That scene in the diner! Heartbreaking but that was so incredibly realistic. Absolute perfection.
I mean, I love when we get Larisa in any story and I am Thrilled what you’ve done with her here. Really great way to draw her character and I look forward to her POV showing up more (hint, hint).
1 [Report This]Date: July 10, 2019 04:07 pm Title: Chapter 2
I was ROLLING during that first paragraph. Seriously. Rolling. I had to be picked up off the floor.
Oh, that bit about Ryan makes me feel a lot of things. It was fantastic and karma’s a bitch.
What I really, really love in this chapter is Pam’s unapologetic brazenness and her equal dose of self-loathing. God it makes her really beautifully complicated and I just love it.
I’m glad Larisa knows where he went. Now how about filling in the rest of us!!!!!
1 [Report This]Date: July 10, 2019 03:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
See. You said you were going to do it. And I watched the music video and I cried and I was prepared. But I wasn’t, really. Cause I knew intellectually that you would do great but I wasn’t prepared EMOTIONALLY for this. Not at all. Here we go...
Date: July 10, 2019 05:36 am Title: Chapter 1
This is good. So many difficult scenes in one chapter and so well written. I kind of love that Michael was the one to save her.
Date: July 09, 2019 05:30 pm Title: Chapter 5
This chapter is the one where I really had to remind myself that these are characters and not real people. If they were real people, I'd be handing both Jim and Pam copies of Codependent No More to read because I'm worried about their addictive personalities and how they're transferring the addiction from alcohol to each other.
Deep breaths. Good thing they aren't real people. But even as toxic as this could end up being, I LOVE their texting and the mid-afternoon conversations and the phone calls after work.
"I found a pair of nunchucks under my desk." Classic.
I really like how Jim was able to open up about how he lost his job, and not only that she listened without judgement but that she wanted to know more.
Because it's not codependency right? It's friendship. Right? Right.
Except.. ugh. The part where Pam knows she's putting up walls and hates herself for doing it and then there's the phone call with Karen and those walls weren't strong enough and now she's right back with the bottle and I'm back to worrying about both of them way too much.
Also, I loved the use of the text messages - such a great idea, and I loved the little details like the Gumby picture and Pam's excessive use of emojis.
1 [Report This]Date: July 09, 2019 03:00 pm Title: Chapter 6
My heart. My heart. My heart. Oh bless Michael. So well intentioned above all else. I love his inclusion in this story. It’s nice to see Pam opening up to Jim (despite the worst of circumstances). I hope that she doesn’t push him away later because she’s feeling too vulnerable.
Not to be too over the top, but this story has literally been haunting my dreams so there’s that...
1 [Report This]Date: July 09, 2019 01:57 pm Title: Chapter 6
Hoo boy. Yeah, so, wow. I mean really what more needs to be said that you didn't say? First and foremost Roy here is probably one of the worst Roy's I've ever read. That he caused Pam to spiral down to the point we see her now. I don't blame Jim at all. Assholes like that should be castrated.
I do love how Jim is there for Pam. That she's become so important to him that he can forget all the shit he's wading through and just be there for her. Keep it up Jim, because that's how you keep going forward. If you can't live for yourself, live for someone else. That Pam lets him in and tells him all this shows how she's depending on him too.
So yes this is broken JAM, their connection is still there. Masterful writing with this chapter even if it was so hard to read and envision.
Date: July 08, 2019 08:49 pm Title: Chapter 1
Also need to say you've taken all of this to the next level with the screen shots. Well done!
Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad that they worked :)
1 [Report This]Date: July 08, 2019 08:18 pm Title: Chapter 5
The graphics worked for me & they worked for me, like it was a really fun additional layer having them in there - I thought I wouldn’t really like it, but I did! It took the story to a whole new place of clever creativity.
I’m very interested about this Karen inclusion! I always like seeing her as a friend (to either Pam or Jim). I feel like there’s so much potential for that. I hope Pam is kind of off base in her fears. Although, I’m really wondering if we’re going to get a merger with Karen based on that set up!
It’s so nice to see Pam and Jim building their friendship in that Pam and Jim way...
Also, we’re starting to dig deeper into Jim’s background which I am very excited about! Can’t wait to see where you take this next.
Author's Response:
I'm so glad that they worked, yay!
I struggled with how I wanted to include Karen, but I'm really excited for her part coming up here, and I hope you will all enjoy her, too.
Yes, the backgrounds are coming together soon! I'm a little nervous about it, but hopefully the buildup will pay off!
Date: July 08, 2019 07:38 pm Title: Chapter 1
Thank you for the bits you've given us, but there's MORE. The devastating parts are coming, I just know it. This chapter was so good. I can *feel* how the two of them are with each other. Fragile but maybe finding something to live for.
Author's Response: Oh, trust me, the devastating is on its way. I'm such a sucker for breaking characters (and readers, if I'm being honest), so hopefully y'all will hold on for it all! I am glad that you are enjoying it!
1 [Report This]Date: July 08, 2019 06:07 pm Title: Chapter 4
This is my favorite chapter yet! I loved Jim and Larisa having a moment over condiments, and I love that in the following week, Jim was able to function a little easier - even if it was just as simple as having meals with her and not locked in his room.
Pam's AA jokes have been a consistent highlight of this story, even if I do feel bad at laughing at them.
I really like how each week they get a little more comfortable with each other, and their Thursday night routine, and this one felt so much like a first date and it was really sweet how they were kind of opening up with specific details of their lives, but still respecting each other's boundaries of what they weren't going to talk about.
Gumby and Pamcasso - I love this more than I should.
Coconuts vs Lavender, hmm? This story is truly going to wreck me later, isn't it?
Author's Response:
It was probably my favorite to write, up until chapter 5, because they are starting to get more comfortable with each other.
It most definitely is going to wreck a lot of people. I'm going to have a lot of enemies at the end of this. And I'm really not that upset about it.
Date: July 08, 2019 05:44 pm Title: Chapter 3
Let's just get all of my questions out of the way - It's been a year since what? What does Michael know? What police report? Why doesn't Jim talk at meetings? Where did he go after he left Pam's house?
As destructive as it is, I really love the idea of Pam and Meredith being booze buddies at work.
But then this whole scene at the end with Jim getting mad at Pam and Larisa finding him tearing apart the kitchen? I don't know which one of them is more broken at this point, but Jim is clearly Going Through just as much as Pam is and I know it's not a competition over which of their stories is going to make me feel more things, but ugh - I'm really stressed out over Jim's current state of being here.
I mean, I'm stressed about Pam too, but Jim's the one crying on a kitchen floor right now.
Author's Response:
I love that you are asking literally every question that I'm leaving seeds for *snickers* In due time, grasshopper!
The kitchen scene also wrecked me, if that makes you feel any better.
1 [Report This]Date: July 08, 2019 05:22 pm Title: Chapter 5
I just LOVE your writing. All. Of. It. I really enjoyed this chapter and how you’ve woven their stories together. Phenomenal!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)
Date: July 08, 2019 01:10 pm Title: Chapter 5
Ok, so first off the graphics are working just fine on this end.
Now, about Jim and Pam here. I do really like that they're spending so much time like this. Getting to know each other, building a friendship. Nice to have some more backstory on Jim here. Yet we still don't really know WHY he started drinking. So I'm sure there's more to that story that will come out.
I do feel bad for Pam here. In one sense you have her acting similar to canon-Pam. Hearing one thing, jumping to a conclusion, and not talking to Jim about it. She's doing a lot of self-projecting here. Just the name of another woman and she automatically thinks that woman is also in AA and has given her the backstory to go with it and a reason to shut down. Of course that's very fitting with this Pam too.
Author's Response:
There is definitely more story coming out!
Also, just wanted to clarify that this Karen *doesn't* have AA in her backstory, and that's what Pam was noticing as the wedge for why she was different than Karen ;)
Thanks for reading!
Date: July 07, 2019 07:50 pm Title: Chapter 2
I have at least 17 more questions after reading this chapter, beginning with why is Pam kicking a foot-shaped bruise into Roy's chest and ending with who does she think she's proving right about what?
"Jim from AA was a good enough lay." might be my favorite opening sentence of a chapter for all of 2019.
And look, we all know how I'm a big fan of adding Ryan into Pam's storyline like this, but the fact that he couldn't finish? I loved that because yeah, it sounds like he didn't deserve to anyways.
I'm not sure what it is about the bulk of this chapter - but seeing Pam trying to push Jim out of her place hit so many feelings - like, she's exasperated and panicking that he's still there, but she still finds Sleepy!Jim adorable (obviously) and it's so sad that she just wants him gone so she can drink.
But Sleepy!Jim is 12 kinds of endearing and I really appreciate his trying to get her number after everything, and making sure he'll see her next week.
Damn, that end scene with Pam and Larissa? I so *get* Pam's amping herself up to set Larissa straight and warn her away from Jim... so to see that taken away from her with the realization that she's Jim's sister - it's just a lovely, heartbreaking moment and I LOVE that Larissa can't just turn off her immediate response to try and take care of Pam.
Oh look, I have another question - where did Jim go?
1 [Report This]Date: July 07, 2019 07:19 pm Title: Chapter 1
I'm already so obsessed with this story. Literally the last place I'd thought I'd ever want to see Jim and Pam is at an AA meeting, but well, here they are and here I am loving it and needing more. Pam's making jokes and Jim's staying mostly silent - this is a new dynamic for these characters and I really like the switch.
I have so many questions - mostly why's, and a couple of how's, but I'll patiently wait for the answers because honestly, I'm just here for reading broken JAM as much as you are for writing them.
Author's Response: It's the most strange concept I've ever taken on, and I'm glad you're enjoying it!