I liked all the gifts Andy gave out. Seemed like a good moment of growth for him. The kid sized art set was a hoot, but the letter was really special.

Good internal thoughts with everyone during the press conferance. I think you nailed them.

Very nice to see Erin and Pete together. They really do make a cute couple.

Author's Response:

Yeah, I felt Andy deserved this redemption after everything he's been put through.  And the gifts themselves were very fun to come up with.  And the letter was also great to write.

The press conference was a tough watch, knowing what both Ang and Oscar went through, so I'm glad I was able to capture that.

And Erin and Pete!  I'm glad I was able to wrap that up as well, and they both deserve to be happy.

Thanks for the review, as always! 

The Stanley material mostly seems the same, but I really enjoyed the character sketch of Stanley with it - he's such a fun one to work with. He's both very much his own individual self AND like a guy who's in every office.

Look, I'm as much of a Jam-aholic as anyone, but this was perfectly fine. They had some nice moments, they got to be the Greek chorus. It worked. And you did some funny stuff with Andy's gifts! The letter of recommendation is obviously the highlight, but I am very partial to Creed's potato making a comeback.

I thought the Erin-Pete stuff worked - as the new Jim and Pam they slot in pretty well as replacements. And I'm happy you brought some of this back to Erin's connection with her surrogate father, Michael. (I just rewatched the finale, and was reminded of how much it irks me that they just... don't touch on that relationship again.) It's a nice milestone for them.

Lipton is the absolute worst. I wish they had made it explicit in canon that Oscar creams him in that election.

Author's Response:

Thanks!  Stanley's material is pretty much the canon stuff, yeah.  It's also the funniest part of the episode IMO so of course it had to stay.  He also coined "Shove it up yo butt" so he's fantastic.  And it was kinda refreshing having JAM in the background for once.  I think they're just as happy that they don't have to be in the middle of something.

I had just as hard a time with Creed's gift as Andy did, lol.  I needed to find that balance of genuine sincerity and complete BS.  Overall the gifts were very fun to write, and I wanted to make a point about just how well Andy knows the office so of course he'd remember their interests and hobbies well enough to give them something big.

Yeah, they never really did anything else with Erin and Michael's father/daughter dynamic in the finale, not even in the deleted scenes.  Which is a shame because that's one of my favorite parts of *both* characters!  Part of me gets it - it make perfect sense why both Scott AND Carrel avoided the cameras - but it wasn't mentioned anywhere else in the series post-"Goodbye, Michael".  And considering how much Erin develops in Season 9 alone, there wasn't even a name drop.  But yeah, I have something planned for this story's finale regarding that.

Ah, Lipton, you cretin.  Won't be the last time I write events involving him, but I'll be sure to make karma a bitch.

Thanks for the review, as always! 

There's some very funny material in this episode, but I have to confess I was less than heartbroken that The Farm never went anywhere. A show focused around Dwight would have been A Lot. There are some great lines in this that I'm glad you preserved though.

Pete catching the cupcakes before things went awry is a nice touch - it fits in well with his character and with the idea of him as The New Jim, because this is definitely a moment you would have expected him to step up a few years ago. And obviously they want some decent cupcakes as their reward for not eating the tainted ones - very Dunder Mifflin!

Sending Jim and Pam on slightly different paths to New York sounds like it would fit well. It works with the idea of Jim as someone who just wants MORE and maybe isn't so much attached to particular career path (which kinda came out of nowhere for this season?), and with Pam as someone who has been thrown off by some bad choices as opposed to by lack of talent. Good choices there.

The end of Andy and Erin is hard, but this leaves them both with a certain amount of dignity, which is nice to see.

Looking forward to Promos!

Author's Response:

Thank you!

To be honest, I had no idea that the spinoff even existed until, like, two months ago.  Dwight's culture is best in small doses.  There was a lot of it in S9 but considering it was Dwight's sendoff (and the best part of the season) I'm fine with it.  Plus it gave us Zeke!

It is indeed very Dunder Mifflin, and very Andy.  Like I've said, Pete's character (at least from deleted scenes and such) can almost be compared to a dog: short attention span, likes to pick up and fiddle with things, happy-go-lucky some of the time, etc; and there's the fact that he's had a pet dog and worked with them.  I wanted to present that.  And yes, Jim would have done the same thing, but it's red velvet.  Can't blame the man.

Athlead was fascinating as a concept, and it makes sense why Jim would go for it, but there's also the fact that his love of basketball is only sprinkled throughout the series and, aside from a few games (and a brain dead Will Ferrell), it's not really focused on.  I genuinely think Jim and co. created a great company, but sometimes mixing business with hobbies could make you hate the hobby.  That's why I went with DM, it gives him more time with his family, a job he can really sink his teeth into, while still having a higher paying job and doing something he majored in.  Darryl got in because 1) He's a different person than Jim despite their close friendship and are in completely different phases in their lives, and 2) Let's face it, he needed the hell out of that place and who can blame him?

As for Pam, I figured if Jim wanted to better himself, why not her?  She didn't not enjoy her time in Pratt from what I recall, she just hated graphic design because it's not her strength.  Pam does get a lot of flack for her paintings that aren't watercolor (her hand-drawn stuff is her best work IMO), so her working to improve can give her the confidence to become the freelance muralist she's always wanted to be.

As for Andy and Erin, I wanted to break them up in a way that was full of understanding, not like the explosive arguments they've had in the past.  Their "final curtain" and some more JAM development will be in "Promos", which I'm excited to share actually.

Thanks for the review, as always! 

Yikes. This is a LOT to cover in one chapter.

I thought the Nellie-reading-Andy-the-riot-act scene worked quite well - it seemed very much in Nellie's voice, and it this point in the plot she is basically the last remaining character who is a capable of delivering Andy this sort of message and still has reason to do so. (Plus, the neutered, spayed and fixed bit is just flat out funny.) Maybe Andy would feel better if he knew how much of his dignity was being preserved by skipping the not-particularly-funny viral sensation plot - and for that matter by not making him responsible for the ugly awkwardness of the return of Gabe and Alice.

I like the way you've reframed Toby's story here - I feel like this was pretty just another "oh look, Toby is pathetic and wrong about everything" subplot in canon, and here it's actually kind of a step forward for him. (Boy, the more I think about it, the writers and Michael kinda felt the same way about Toby, didn't they?)

The parallels between this Dwight-Angela plot and early seasons Jim-Pam had not occurred to me before, that was a nice touch.

I'm really glad you worked in the Dr. J meeting. It would be fundamentally unfair for the version of Jim who made notably better decisions to miss out on that - and of course in this version the whole thing is something he can enjoy guilt-free. Pam's speech in the dinner scene was terrific and very moving, and I'm curious to see where their future is going to be if it's not going to be with Athlead.

Author's Response:

Appreciate the compliments!

One would hope that canon Andy would get a wake-up call at least but, no such luck.  It's a shame because he's a fine character and Ed Helms is charming as hell.  And yeah, I picked Nellie for that very reason.  She knows she's wronged him, and ironically she's making up for what she's done to him by chewing him out.  Nellie has such a specific voice and delivery amongst the rest of the cast, and I wanted to convey that in this and (hopefully) make it work.

Toby's was fun because yes, he is pathetic, but he deserves a win every now and again, despite how he gets there. (And yes, the writers did hate Toby, just ask Paul Lieberstein.)

Yeah, the Dwight/Angela parallel didn't to me either!  But as I watched the scene and read the lines, I knew that if I didn't it'd be a missed opportunity.

I knew after the hell I put him through in "Lice" that Jim should have a chance to meet Dr. J, especially after he's become more responsible and at peace with himself.  And Pam's speech was one of the scenes I loved writing the most.  I wanted her risk-taking attitude to come naturally, and not a spur-of-the-moment decision.  And I do have plans for Jim's future in marketing...

Thanks for the review as always! 

1

I haven't reviewed this in a while and wow looking back over this the story has gone places! The jam payoff was totally worth it, I was smiling like a madman for most of their subplot this chapter. I liked the parallels to Casino night that you made for Dwight and Angela as well.
Really glad that Jim and Pam are back in sync though, that does wonders for my morale as a reader 😂

Keel up the great work!

Author's Response:

LOL Thanks DG!  Glad you hopped back in.

But yeah, as far as JAM goes, they're both in a much better place than they have been, and they'll be much happier for the rest of the story.

The Casino Night parallels came to me as I was watching it.  It's not as impactful as that moment, but for fans of all things Dwight (myself included) it's a tough watch emotionally.  There were several ways I wanted to go about it, but I settled on something I felt worked the best.

Thanks for the review! 

Having Erin give Andy presumably a final shot is a really interesting call. I'm interested to see where you go with this - feels like it could add some weight to the next stage of Erin/Pete.

I appreciate you addressing the sheer painful awkwardness of Brian's actions during that lunch. I think the changes with Jim and Pam's story are paying a lot of fruit here - they still have issues to address, but they are in their very Jim and Pam way taking stabs at actually doing it.

Dear Lord, I'd forgotten how obnoxious Andy was this season. ::shudders:: His comeuppance cannot be strong enough. I thought Pam's reaction was spot on, although that might be because it mirrors my own.

Looking forward to seeing Moving On. I wouldn't worry about it not meshing with canon that much. Ultimately you've been trying to address some issues with canon, and from my memory of that episode the changes you've made to do so are going to make major shifts in the plot natural.

Author's Response:

Appreciate the compliments!  I'm actually warming up to my own "Moving On".  There were a lot of moments that I just enjoyed writing, and some of them I feel pay off.  Still, it's mostly my own doubts as a writer if anything, which I need to get over.

Andy is still an oblivious jerk in this chapter (although nicer this time), but I figured someone needed to step in and help him understand the sheer weight of his decision, something I felt was kinda glossed over in-canon.  And this will definitely shape how he acts the rest of the story, because Lord knows he needed some sort of redemption that wasn't covered in a single episode.

Erin's choice to stay was always going to be there, but it's not going to last too long.  They've been out of sync for so long that it's become customary, and she wants a life with him where they genuinely are.  But, like Pete said, neither are at fault for them being out of sync.

JAM are, at the very least, still around each other to understand what they need to address.  Fighting or not, they're gonna address everything and never look back, because everyone knows what happened when they didn't.  And yeah, Brian's life is a wreck and they (and myself if I'm being honest) are sympathetic, but he does overshare to the point where it's overwhelming and puts others on edge, to both Alyssa and JAM.

Thanks for the review, as always! 

I really enjoy the Pete and Erin banter here, and the time taken to reflect on Erin and Andy's relationship. You've hit on some pretty profound truths here with the idea that they were often best when they weren't together - they loved each other without necessarily being a good couple, which is a hard thing to come to grips with. And YES for giving Pete some real back story.

The accountants plot is fantastic and very much needed to stay close to canon - calling out Lipton was probably my favorite Kevin moment of the series.

There's a surprising amount of comedy in the mural plot - Dwight being turned on by a vengeful Pam is a little shudder-inducing but also pretty darn funny.

Also, something I hadn't really considered before that you highlighted in the mural section: a lot of this really is on Val for not attempting to deal with it and to a greater extent on Andy for not being there to deal with it. I feel like in canon the focus is on the fact that Jim wasn't there to help, and the fact that this is no longer about him being an absentee husband shines some light on how much the people with professional, rather than emotional, obligations here completely botch this. The situation really does end up escalating basically because there's no one with the capacity or willingness to discipline anyone at the branch right now.

This... is a more pleasant use of Brian so far. I will restrain a further rant there.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the compliments!

As I've said, I don't ship Andy/Erin, but I completely understand why many do.  They are really cute!  It just falls apart from an objective point of view, IMO.  Also, as I've said, Pete would have been more liked if they did more with him, so hopefully I offered on that front.

The accountants' friendship is pure and wholesome and probably the strongest pillar of S9.

And, yes, both the show and I reveal Dwight's "interests" when it comes to women.  His love to Angela makes more sense now.

What you've said about the mural plot fascinates me; I may have, unintentionally, revealed some cracks in the inner-workings of DM as a whole.  Toby wants to do something, but he's restricted by the very policies he enforces.  Val, despite her sympathies, considers it a non-priority because the productivity of warehouse takes precedence.  And Nellie is doing everything she can, but in a position like hers, she has very little control; she only assigned the project and has no authority over Frank.  Dwight is the only one who can help because he has grown throughout the show to have TOTAL disregard of power structure when it comes to vengeance, which isn't smart but it's tactical.

And yeah, Brian and the lunch will show up next chapter, but it'll be less uncomfortable, or more?  It's more uplifting, at least.

Thanks for the review, as always! 

I really love what you've done with the last couple of chapters. I think Jim going on stress leave would have been a really interesting addition to the last season. Like many people, it's not my favourite, but I'm looking forward to see how you write the rest of it.

Author's Response:

Much appreciated!  It's just an idea I had and wanted to post, so I'm glad you're enjoying it thus far.

Thanks for the review! 

1

Good discussion there with Jim and Pam at the start. I also really liked that Brent knew the Jim and Pam needed their privacy for something like that. Also to keep Brian from doing anything. Yes Jim and Pam are fighting, but from how I read it neither was in physical danger from the other. Thus Brain is overracting.

Nice change of pace to have all the electrontic communications with everyone. Really nice to see that everyone cares so much, including Dwight. Also with Jim's last message thread it seems we have the first glimmers of the Real Jim coming back. The fun loving prankster, not the overstressed jerk he became.

Nice job.

Author's Response:

Thank you!  Brian, despite everything, genuinely cares for them both.  However, his bias is made clear, intentional or not.  Him butting in would have escalated the conflict, and would have probably made Jim feel even more guilty.  And Brent is not unobservant of this either, especially with Alyssa in the picture.

With the various calls, I wanted to show how genuinely upsetting it is for the rest of the office, considering they know him well by this point and seeing him so unwell would affect the office in some way, even the new guys.  As for that last message, it pretty much drops the pretense and makes Jim and Dwight friends.  They've always cared about each other in a way, but now it's apparent.  And, yes, their repertoire will still be as strong as ever.

Thanks for the review, as always!

Okay, this is a big time chapter, and one I think you did a REALLY good job with. This addresses one of what I thought one of the big misses of Season 9 was - it seemed to be completely disconnected from the history of these characters, which is particularly weird since that history involves a LOT of hurt as a result of them failing to communicate with each other. You've effectively tied this back to their roots a lot more, and I think it works.

I was struck by your note that you made Jim more in the wrong here - maybe it's just because he's on so much firmer ground here than he was in canon, but I actually thought of this as relatively even-handed, particularly since their conclusion was not "someone needs to make up for something" and more "Jim is genuinely in crisis." (Again, this may be due to the fact that I think Jim's point about him being supportive of Pam's big swings in the past is a pretty sharp one, but also, I think his whole thing about wanting to do this FOR THEM is much stronger in a context where he at least accepts that he can't do it if Pam doesn't agree it's what's best.)

I guess also regardless of whether this fight puts him in the wrong or not, the fact that he recognizes the fact that he's hurting Pam and makes it his first priority to fix it at least puts him solidly in character, which is the main thing that's important to get right.

(I was struck by your inclusion of the Cathy incident on Jim's list of misdeeds - I never really interpreted any of that as being on Jim. What was your thought process there?)

Looking forward to seeing where you go with the leave plotline - feels like that has a lot of potential, although from my perspective the answer is "he's burned out with his current job" feels like a bit of a gimme answer.

The Nellie-Erin-Pete stuff is very funny, and that's a classic conference room meeting meltdown. Side note: I'd forgotten the twist of the Dunder Code being that Jim had totally forgotten he'd put it together, which makes it so much better.

Author's Response:

Appreciate the compliments!  They need to post the Dunder Code on YouTube because that's the best moment of the episode.

Yeah, it's meant to be even in terms of "who is right and who is wrong", but in terms of who is going about it the right way, it's Pam.  Jim's points are valid but his presentation is so intense that it immediately puts others on the defensive.  I've interacted with people who act this way and it's off-putting; it never gets their point across.  And yeah, some of the breakdown is burnout, but his reasoning does go deeper than that.

(As for Cathy, that's mostly inspired by the deleted scene where Darryl calls Jim with Pam and Andy in the room; they were discussing Val and what Jim/Tuna would advise Darryl to go about it.  That and, well, the whole situation skeeved him out and Stanley's comments didn't help.)

Nellie and Erin are still a joy to write, and while most of that's canon, I included the phone call to Andy.  It makes more sense rather than Nell being advised by Toby of all people, who acts like their in a relationship when they're not and it's just WHY.

Thanks for the review as always! 

There's just a lot of very entertaining material in this chapter, and very well described to mine the humor out of it.

It's an interesting picture you've painted with Pam's inner monologue here (and I'm cheating here, because I've actually read the next two chapters). It's always struck me that Pam's part in the Season 9 fiasco pre-Brian gets a little minimized... which makes sense, because in canon Season 9 Jim is just being a world-class level bad husband, and that overshadows this. But it does strike me here that a lot of this, while true to what I think Pam was thinking, doesn't make me all that sympathetic towards Pam. She used to want more for Jim just like he did for her - and as Jim notes in the next chapter he's done his fair share of choking down his own fears to be supportive of her when she took risks like this. I'll be interested to see how much of that you end up exploring.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the praise!

But yeah, the whole thought process was to expose both of their flaws, and Pam's is coming more to light.  She's so damn scared of her own shadow.  She loves Jim, she believes in him, but she's so scared of doing anything outside of her comfort zone now that she has Jim and the kids.  And this realization will come sooner rather than later.

Thanks for the review!

I thought the switch to Angela worked well - shifting blame onto one of the heathens and viciously and publicly criticizing them for something she knows full well she did is very much in line with the Angela we know, and you've managed to find both comedy and pathos in it.

I continue to really like what you're doing with Jim and Pam. Much as I'd prefer them to be happy and fluffy always, this at least feels like a conflict that's natural to their relationship up to this point, as opposed to them acting, you know, wildly out of character to create it.

The structure of the closing worked very well for me, and felt very like the ending of an actual Office episode.

Author's Response:

Indeed.  Angela is one who can be likable if she didn't constantly try to present this perfect life and making it a standard for everyone else to live by.  That's why I wanted to pair her and Meredith, since she's the opposite extreme.

Them acting wildly out of character was the spark to this fic, to be honest.  Old habits die hard, of course.  They're not the best when it comes to communication or trying to air out their frustrations healthily.  And a major conflict between the two is such a great concept to take advantage of.  But the way it was handled... I dunno, after two kids and over three years of marriage it just felt off for them to act like they did in S9.

Thanks for the compliment!  The closing was my favorite part to write.  The various plotlines all had the main women characters struggling in one form or another, so keeping the Cyndi Lauper and extending it was fun.

Thanks for the review, as always! 

1

Ah, let's face it. The Belsnickel is just good comedy, and Jim and Dwight as vitriolic best buds as opposed to sworn enemies is fun. Why mess with perfection?

Pam's speech to the PPC is amazing, and I think you've recognized a real missed and/or lost opportunity with the Clark/Jan storyline - you mined a lot of laughs out of that. (Jan's insanity is a lot funnier with a relationship that's inherently got a skewed power dynamic and is temporary on a surface level than it is with Michael... who I just wanted to rescue.)

Toby is just... SUCH an inconsistently written and poorly-used character. I'm fine losing the frankly forgettable (and on my part almost entirely forgotten) Toby-Nellie relationship, but it might be worth seeing what you can do with him with an eye towards writing him as one guy. (There's some really good Toby fic deep in the archive by Steph which has reshaped my thoughts on how much better he could have been if taken more seriously).

The Jim/Pam distance and tension hurts, but does feel very natural, and reflective of what we've seen of their relationship in past seasons. It's fascinating to see the toll that NOT participating in Athlead ends up taking on them in contrast to what participating did. And as someone who absolutely despised the Brian subplot on about every level (by far the worst writing choice of the season), I'm interested to see where you'll go with Brent.

Author's Response:

Praise Belsnickel.

That speech is from the episode, actually, and Jenna's delivery is great.  And I never thought that Jan and Clark needed a full on storyline, but he comes back to the office like a war veteran; one just HAS to know what happened to him.  Michael truly understands his struggle.

Oof, Toby... "Why are you the way that you are?" indeed.  Again, I'm pretty ambivalent towards his character, but he just switches on a dime!  My take is it's just that he longs for more but goes through irresponsible lengths to try and obtain them because of a MYRIAD of mental issues unaddressed.  No wonder everyone assumes he's the Strangler.  And that whole Toby-Nellie relationship is just him making her uncomfortable like he made Pam uncomfortable but in overdrive.  I'm thinking about giving him a happier ending than the one in the finale, mostly so he can get his damn act together.  Also, I appreciate the fic recommendation!

Jim and Pam's plot, the crux of the fic, will have a much more optimistic run than in-canon, but they're still gonna struggle.  With something so obtainable but so out of reach, he can't help but try to be happy and fulfilled for his family, ironically making her even more concerned.  And yeah, Brian will show up too, but that'll go in a completely different direction, especially with Brent in the picture.

Thanks for the review, as always!