Okay, this is a big time chapter, and one I think you did a REALLY good job with. This addresses one of what I thought one of the big misses of Season 9 was - it seemed to be completely disconnected from the history of these characters, which is particularly weird since that history involves a LOT of hurt as a result of them failing to communicate with each other. You've effectively tied this back to their roots a lot more, and I think it works.

I was struck by your note that you made Jim more in the wrong here - maybe it's just because he's on so much firmer ground here than he was in canon, but I actually thought of this as relatively even-handed, particularly since their conclusion was not "someone needs to make up for something" and more "Jim is genuinely in crisis." (Again, this may be due to the fact that I think Jim's point about him being supportive of Pam's big swings in the past is a pretty sharp one, but also, I think his whole thing about wanting to do this FOR THEM is much stronger in a context where he at least accepts that he can't do it if Pam doesn't agree it's what's best.)

I guess also regardless of whether this fight puts him in the wrong or not, the fact that he recognizes the fact that he's hurting Pam and makes it his first priority to fix it at least puts him solidly in character, which is the main thing that's important to get right.

(I was struck by your inclusion of the Cathy incident on Jim's list of misdeeds - I never really interpreted any of that as being on Jim. What was your thought process there?)

Looking forward to seeing where you go with the leave plotline - feels like that has a lot of potential, although from my perspective the answer is "he's burned out with his current job" feels like a bit of a gimme answer.

The Nellie-Erin-Pete stuff is very funny, and that's a classic conference room meeting meltdown. Side note: I'd forgotten the twist of the Dunder Code being that Jim had totally forgotten he'd put it together, which makes it so much better.

Author's Response:

Appreciate the compliments!  They need to post the Dunder Code on YouTube because that's the best moment of the episode.

Yeah, it's meant to be even in terms of "who is right and who is wrong", but in terms of who is going about it the right way, it's Pam.  Jim's points are valid but his presentation is so intense that it immediately puts others on the defensive.  I've interacted with people who act this way and it's off-putting; it never gets their point across.  And yeah, some of the breakdown is burnout, but his reasoning does go deeper than that.

(As for Cathy, that's mostly inspired by the deleted scene where Darryl calls Jim with Pam and Andy in the room; they were discussing Val and what Jim/Tuna would advise Darryl to go about it.  That and, well, the whole situation skeeved him out and Stanley's comments didn't help.)

Nellie and Erin are still a joy to write, and while most of that's canon, I included the phone call to Andy.  It makes more sense rather than Nell being advised by Toby of all people, who acts like their in a relationship when they're not and it's just WHY.

Thanks for the review as always! 

There's just a lot of very entertaining material in this chapter, and very well described to mine the humor out of it.

It's an interesting picture you've painted with Pam's inner monologue here (and I'm cheating here, because I've actually read the next two chapters). It's always struck me that Pam's part in the Season 9 fiasco pre-Brian gets a little minimized... which makes sense, because in canon Season 9 Jim is just being a world-class level bad husband, and that overshadows this. But it does strike me here that a lot of this, while true to what I think Pam was thinking, doesn't make me all that sympathetic towards Pam. She used to want more for Jim just like he did for her - and as Jim notes in the next chapter he's done his fair share of choking down his own fears to be supportive of her when she took risks like this. I'll be interested to see how much of that you end up exploring.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the praise!

But yeah, the whole thought process was to expose both of their flaws, and Pam's is coming more to light.  She's so damn scared of her own shadow.  She loves Jim, she believes in him, but she's so scared of doing anything outside of her comfort zone now that she has Jim and the kids.  And this realization will come sooner rather than later.

Thanks for the review!

I thought the switch to Angela worked well - shifting blame onto one of the heathens and viciously and publicly criticizing them for something she knows full well she did is very much in line with the Angela we know, and you've managed to find both comedy and pathos in it.

I continue to really like what you're doing with Jim and Pam. Much as I'd prefer them to be happy and fluffy always, this at least feels like a conflict that's natural to their relationship up to this point, as opposed to them acting, you know, wildly out of character to create it.

The structure of the closing worked very well for me, and felt very like the ending of an actual Office episode.

Author's Response:

Indeed.  Angela is one who can be likable if she didn't constantly try to present this perfect life and making it a standard for everyone else to live by.  That's why I wanted to pair her and Meredith, since she's the opposite extreme.

Them acting wildly out of character was the spark to this fic, to be honest.  Old habits die hard, of course.  They're not the best when it comes to communication or trying to air out their frustrations healthily.  And a major conflict between the two is such a great concept to take advantage of.  But the way it was handled... I dunno, after two kids and over three years of marriage it just felt off for them to act like they did in S9.

Thanks for the compliment!  The closing was my favorite part to write.  The various plotlines all had the main women characters struggling in one form or another, so keeping the Cyndi Lauper and extending it was fun.

Thanks for the review, as always! 

1

Ah, let's face it. The Belsnickel is just good comedy, and Jim and Dwight as vitriolic best buds as opposed to sworn enemies is fun. Why mess with perfection?

Pam's speech to the PPC is amazing, and I think you've recognized a real missed and/or lost opportunity with the Clark/Jan storyline - you mined a lot of laughs out of that. (Jan's insanity is a lot funnier with a relationship that's inherently got a skewed power dynamic and is temporary on a surface level than it is with Michael... who I just wanted to rescue.)

Toby is just... SUCH an inconsistently written and poorly-used character. I'm fine losing the frankly forgettable (and on my part almost entirely forgotten) Toby-Nellie relationship, but it might be worth seeing what you can do with him with an eye towards writing him as one guy. (There's some really good Toby fic deep in the archive by Steph which has reshaped my thoughts on how much better he could have been if taken more seriously).

The Jim/Pam distance and tension hurts, but does feel very natural, and reflective of what we've seen of their relationship in past seasons. It's fascinating to see the toll that NOT participating in Athlead ends up taking on them in contrast to what participating did. And as someone who absolutely despised the Brian subplot on about every level (by far the worst writing choice of the season), I'm interested to see where you'll go with Brent.

Author's Response:

Praise Belsnickel.

That speech is from the episode, actually, and Jenna's delivery is great.  And I never thought that Jan and Clark needed a full on storyline, but he comes back to the office like a war veteran; one just HAS to know what happened to him.  Michael truly understands his struggle.

Oof, Toby... "Why are you the way that you are?" indeed.  Again, I'm pretty ambivalent towards his character, but he just switches on a dime!  My take is it's just that he longs for more but goes through irresponsible lengths to try and obtain them because of a MYRIAD of mental issues unaddressed.  No wonder everyone assumes he's the Strangler.  And that whole Toby-Nellie relationship is just him making her uncomfortable like he made Pam uncomfortable but in overdrive.  I'm thinking about giving him a happier ending than the one in the finale, mostly so he can get his damn act together.  Also, I appreciate the fic recommendation!

Jim and Pam's plot, the crux of the fic, will have a much more optimistic run than in-canon, but they're still gonna struggle.  With something so obtainable but so out of reach, he can't help but try to be happy and fulfilled for his family, ironically making her even more concerned.  And yeah, Brian will show up too, but that'll go in a completely different direction, especially with Brent in the picture.

Thanks for the review, as always! 

1

I think the salesman-client thing seems at least plausible for the show's universe. And the Dwight material is hilarious. (I also couldn't help but thinking reading this how *dramatic* Angela's life is if you take a step back and look at it. Husband in an adulterous homosexual affair with a co-worker and friend, child by another man, two separate duels fought for her affection, a long-running family feud - the long-form Angela fic would be worth reading.)

The parallel to Office Olympics is neat, I think, and it fits well with what I think the show was trying to do with making Pete the new Jim. (I also love the callback to Stanley's lighthouse dream!)

Author's Response:

The best part about Angela's storyline?  It's ALL canon.  Didn't change a darn thing.  It's great.  And writing Dwight is always a treat.

But yeah, I've been looking stuff up to make this story as staunch in realism as possible, but I also have to consider that this is a sitcom I realize I just have to make it sense within the show's universe, not necessarily in legitimate reality.  And I HAD to bring back Stanley's lighthouse.  One of his best moments.

I'm really gonna work with Pete more, since he never really had an identity besides the 'New Jim' label (and abs), but at this instance they're similar in that they're making the most out of their boring job.  Pete and Jim really don't interact much, not like Pam and Erin do (and will).  But yeah, the OO and the Tower just felt too similar not to point out.

Thanks for the review, as always!

1

In addition to being funny and including some sweet Jam moments, this has motivated me to rewatch this episode.

Author's Response:

Appreciate the compliment!  I enjoyed the episode myself.  I just wished things had gone differently, but this whole fic is built on wish fulfillment anyway.  It's an excellent Dwight episode too, which is why his dialogue is relatively unchanged in the chapter; the conversation that he and Jim have about pregnancy is one of Season 9's best moments.

Thanks for the review! 

1

This is reminding me both how much canonical Season 9 bugged me *and* how little of it I retained... the JAM story is familiar, but yee cats is there a lot of other material that I feel like I'm reading for the first time. I'm glad you're doing it.

Author's Response:

Thank you!

And that's the thing: there's a lot about season 9 I DO like.  Asian Jim and the Dunder Code are two of my favorite cold opens.  Dwight's storyline felt like an amazing conclusion to his character (so a lot of it will show up here).  And the finale is near flawless.  But amidst the JAM conflict, the extra characters that had no real depth, and Andy's character degradation, it was a trying watch, especially for a farewell season.

My only thing is trying to make sure the AU and the canon moments are interwoven better.  I'm not confident in prose so trying to accomplish that has been difficult.  But after working with "Lice" (which is very canon divergent), I think I'm getting the hang of it.

Thanks for the review! 

A lot of similar beats to canon, while still keeping up with the feel of the AU. I liked that it was Pam who planted the popcorn. Nice to see here that they're both in sync about pulling those kinds of pranks.

You really did a good job leaning into the jerk that Andy was turning into in this season. For no real reason it seemed other than power was getting to his head. I really liked how you had Erin and Nellie bonding about everything.

Author's Response:

One of JAM's strongest aspects as a couple is their camaraderie.  I wanted to present them working as a team despite their communication issues, and it's when they don't communicate *or* work together that problems begin to surface.  And yeah, they love pranking Dwight, but they still want to give him a little leeway.

That's just it about Andy's transition: it felt incredibly out of left field.  The writers made it clear that it was familial issues, sure, but it was barely even mentioned when he came back.  There's a better way to write the "fall to rise" plot he deserves without public humiliation and a time jump.

Erin standing up for Nellie was really fun to write; Andy knows how Erin feels about the foster care system already, so the fact that he wouldn't give Nellie the chance despite his beef with her, it will not only sting, it'll set her off.  And I felt it necessary to end the feud there, because what Andy did was *big* for Nellie and I can see both parties become closer after that.

Thanks for the review, as always!

Nice to see the mindsets of the everyone. I liked Erin here. With her realization that the relationship with Andy isn't really all it's cracked up to be. I liked Pete still there waiting in the wings.

Nice job on the Pam and Nellie friendship. Same goes for the Jim and Darryl conversations.

Really liked that Jim and Pam have the open discussion about everything. The big problem they faced in the start of their relationship and the problems they faced again in S9 is they wouldn't communicate clearly. Nice to see that changed around a bit here.

Author's Response:

Writing Erin has become one of my favorite parts of this fic.  I can tell in S9 she became a more independent thinker, and I loved that aspect, I just didn't like Pete to be such a vital part of that development.  He's there for her, and she does like him, but there are conclusions that she needs to make herself before she's ready for a relationship with him.  And he understands that.

There'll be more Pam and Nellie friendship, trust me.  I love writing Nellie as Pam's friend, gives her both more stuff to do and makes her truly feel a part of the office.  And, to be honest, Darryl needed Athlead more than Jim ever did, so I wanted Jim to make that same offer since he has such a strong connection to the company even when he's not working there.

And that's why I wrote that open discussion: communication.  It's not the strongest pillar of the relationship - not by a long shot - but S9 felt like S1-3 where they didn't even bother to talk about what they really want and leave it up to blind faith.  They will have communication problems in this story as well, but I want to accomplish a balance between getting over their own insecurities and talking them out.

Thanks for the review, as always! 

1

"Oh, the difference six months will make." Well now that's just ominous. I can't tell if that's foreshadowing or retrospective, but some of the tags you tacked on this story have me leaning towards the former.

Overall I feel like it's pretty canon compliant right now, although the flashback Jim has the convinces him not to go all in was a nice touch, it really showed how conflicted he was with the decision. I'm glad Jim didn't go for it without talking to Pam again.

I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this, hopefully nothing too scary or scarring, in all aboard for fluff so we'll see if I need to jump off the ride at some point in the future.

Again though, you set the tone really well and maintain a cohesive narrative even with all of the perspective changes, well done!

Author's Response:

Yeah, Pam was quite the risk-taker and far more assertive during Seasons 3-5, and a little during 6 ("Your mom came onto me." *SMACK!*), but it goes to show how quickly her perspective has changed after S6.  I've noticed this with her hair too; most of the time during 7-9 it's in a similar style as S1-3, before Fancy New Beesly.  I want to explore that and see if she eventually makes more difficult decisions

And, yeah, Jim taking that call... it annoyed me, even though I completely understand the motivation.  Both him and Pam made mistakes during that period, but it seemed like he didn't even consider what dropping everything and going for a new job did last time, bolstered by the fact he has so much more to lose.

And, knowing your writing, I understand your concern.  Don't worry, the Halperts will be more happy and fulfilled this time around.  There will be hurdles,  *big* ones, but at the very least they'll better communicate, despite their insecurities.

Thanks for the review! 

Like you said it was a decent summary of the episode. So in that regard, not bad. There were some things that threw me off though. Switching from present to past tense got a little confusing. Usually it's best to stay with one as much as possible. Helps keep things more consistent.

Likewise switching to script format for their talking heads is another thing that pulled me out of the story. It's still possible to give the talking head lines, but just using regular quotations. So that's the critical part of the review.

I did like how you got more into Pete and Clark's mindsets. Nice to see what their motivations are for everything. I also really liked the thoughts running through Jim's mind as he almost calls Mark. That felt very real. I'm really looking forward to seeing where we go from here. How will the dynamic change with Jim not running off to Philly? Should be really interesting to see where this goes.

Author's Response:

Appreciate the response as always!

Tense has always been a difficult thing for me to keep consistent.  And the "talking head" thing is something I thought would work, but I need to go back to the drawing board with that.

Like I said, this is my least favorite passage and it will definitely be getting a rewrite and repost.

Thanks for the review!