Date: January 17, 2021 08:55 pm Title: Chapter 6
As he tied the bag closed, she imagined for a moment, just a moment, that this wasn’t happening right now. It was happening sometime in the future, just another ordinary evening in a long procession of evenings together.
This whole chapter was so good! But I really loved this little bit. You’re writing their dance around each other really really well. And I can’t wait to find out what Roy is up to. Nothing good, I’m sure. Can’t wait for the next update!
Date: January 17, 2021 05:00 pm Title: Chapter 6
Starting out with Roy. That's one helluva backstory you've given him. How I read it is that now as an adult he's got a bit of a hero complex to him. He has to be strong, thus everyone needs to be strong too. If what he sees isn't strong it's his duty to whisk them away to a better place. It give a really good insight into his character. However his approach is of course flawed. Pam doesn't need to be rescued. If he really paid attention to her, he'd realize that. She's very happy where she is even if it's not big and exciting. Setting up what feels like a very interesting conflict there.
Speaking of Pam, part of me is starting to think she's seeing Jim as more than just a friend. Singer goes right to him when the dog snarls at any other guy. Good boy Singer, have another good boy treat. When she's in a tough spot the first person she turns to is Jim. Then they have the kind of evening she DOES dream about. Not hot air balloons or fancy dinners. Just an easy time with pizza on the porch. Feels like she gets another glimpse of the life she really wants. One that's full of love, is steady, and warm. Hopefully soon she realizes that all she wants is right there, she just has to reach out and take it.
Jim is also great here. He's just there for her. The fact he's not trying to impress her with a big gesture feels a lot more impressive for her than any extravagant date she might go on. He spends time listening to her, letting her talk about what she wants, not what he is trying to impress on her. It's the slow easy way that I really feel will ultimatly win her heart. He may feel inadaquate, but what he's doing is speaking her laungauge more than anything.
Back to Pam real quck. The last line is what is making me think she's seeing Jim as more than a friend. She's trying to deny it, but it really feels that she can't help but have feelings for him. Her heart knows what it wants (as does her dog) but her brain is in the way. But there may be a few cracks forming in her mental wall. Looking foward to see if those cracks get any bigger. Great chapter.
Date: January 17, 2021 09:12 am Title: Chapter 6
Awww aly. This was such a good chapter. Roy's backstory is very telling of his behavior, and I especially liked how the way he beats himself up over his reaction to Pam not wearing her locket reflects the way he's struggling.
And then, of course, the Jim/Pam interactions were awesome. I got MAJOR S2 vibes, which is always a sign of well-written dialogue. I loved them eating pizza together, and Pam realizing there's a happy casualness with Jim that she's felt with Mark, too. Like both of them, I wanted their conversation to never end.
Date: January 16, 2021 08:50 pm Title: Chapter 6
UGH these two. I love their friendship and I love how they talk to each other about Mark and everything else. I also need Pam to listen to her DOG. Something is up with Roy and we all know it, Singer included.
I just really love this little world you have put them in and basically I just want to be friends with them and live by them and have Jim fix my car, okay?!
Date: January 16, 2021 08:50 pm Title: Chapter 6
UGH these two. I love their friendship and I love how they talk to each other about Mark and everything else. I also need Pam to listen to her DOG. Something is up with Roy and we all know it, Singer included.
I just really love this little world you have put them in and basically I just want to be friends with them and live by them and have Jim fix my car, okay?!
Date: January 05, 2021 12:06 am Title: Chapter 5
This is a brutal start for Jim here. You can't blame him for feeling worried about his place in her life right now - it's hard not to notice that she's gotten a boyfriend and apparently moved on from him. (Although perhaps that tells you something about their relationship?)
It's nice to see Pam having a fully rational reason why she's willing to keep giving things a go with Roy in spite of their not connecting that well - and it's *very* nice to see that Pam is definitely aware that there are some issues here. The locket thing could be perfectly benign, but given his weird comments about it earlier it doesn't really feel that way.
Kelly is the worst kind of Kelly in this story, and yet I'm worried about her.
Interested to see where we're headed with the red flag of Darryl's issues with Roy.
Date: January 04, 2021 02:03 pm Title: Chapter 4
Boy, Roy is not making a great impression here - not being good with new people is one thing, but he seems to be falling down on the job at some pretty basic boyfriend tasks. I like what you did with Jim here and digging into the fact that he's in a difficult position, trying to determine if he's just jealous or if there's an actual problem that he's the only one seeing because he's watching more closely.
I was struck again with the idea that the line between romantic lead and deeply creepy is unfortunately thin here. Wondering more and more what the root of Roy's insecurity is - it sure seems like that both that and the weirdness with the locket might be related to whatever happened with his wife.
I love the shot at Ryan. Ryan is absolutely a guy who would try to style himself as Cobra.
Date: January 03, 2021 05:57 pm Title: Chapter 3
Considering that I’m guessing we might ultimately see Roy more as “bonkers” than “guy who goes for what he wants”, it’s interesting to see this chapter play out – the lines between romantic lead tropes and stalking behavior are not as clear as they should be. Stupid society.
Also on the same lines, I liked the choice to give us Roy’s inner monologue here – not something you normally get in this type of story. We get to see HIS perspective on his overwhelming behavior – that he’s aware he’s maybe a little too much, and that it’s coming from a place of insecurity that produces a certain amount of obsessive re-analysis of what he’s been doing. You’ve made him feel like a serious option for Pam here, complete with some crucial pieces of shared history.
Date: January 03, 2021 12:06 pm Title: Chapter 5
Just got to where I could sit and read all of this in one sitting. I am not familiar with the inspiration for the story, and I am have to say that I’m glad. I really like the way you have picked up all of these characters in place of them in a new setting and in a way that feels real and familiar. I can totally buy Jim and Danny being siblings, Danny and Karen being married, Jo being Mark’s aunt and employing Pam, Kelly being Pam’s jealous coworker. When you add in all the other little bit and nods to the other characters, it’s a great bit of world building that still feels true to their characterization. I am really loving it.
You do such a great job with writing Roy, too. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but I know that a character like that that has some strange hidden motive and is sneaky and manipulative the way that this Roy seems to be is really difficult to write. You do a great job of making me wonder if I’m reading too much into things, much the same that Pam is herself. Great job there!
I love Singer! I love Jim and Pam’s relationship. I LOVE all the dialogue. You have everyone’s voices spot on. I’m kind of glad I was behind the curve on reading this one because it meant I had quite a few chapters to binge at once. Now if you could just go ahead and publish the rest ASAP as possible, that’d be excellent.
Date: January 02, 2021 08:10 pm Title: Chapter 5
Hmm, why is Pam so thrilled he won't kiss her? Is it because she really loves Jim? I hope that's the case because the dog and I are both on the same page here that something is off with Roy.
Loved the update!
Date: January 02, 2021 07:27 pm Title: Chapter 2
This is an interesting take on Jim - seeing him as a guy with a clear dream he's maybe just not good enough to live puts a very different spin on the way he's gotten stuck in this particular place in his life. I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with that.
I liked the way you're continuing to build out the world and the characters more here - giving us a better sense of their relationships with each other and the role Jo and Danny are playing for them. Feels like a fuller story for it.
Date: January 02, 2021 07:24 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is a fun trip through the early stages of Pam's post-Mark dating life. The Toby date in particular sounds an awful lot like what a date between them in canon would be, too.
It's fascinating seeing a thoughtful, attentive, funny Roy, without the glaring red flags right out front - it feels almost like we're getting a look at him like Pam saw him in high school.
This is one hell of a journey Pam has been through to get here - it's been a roller coaster of a life. I think introducing this before bringing in much about Jim helps gives us a sense that this is about Pam's journey and not just about her relationship with her late husband's best friend.
The ending with Danny tweaking Jim about the date was funny - I would have loved to watch Timothy Olyphant and John Krasinski play that scene out.
Date: January 02, 2021 07:20 pm Title: Prologue
This is a lovely beginning. You did a good job letting it breath instead of forcing information on us, and giving us some sense of what the broader world Pam is living in is like. The details of her grief feel right and let us into her mind without being over-the-top dramatic.
Date: January 02, 2021 07:17 pm Title: Chapter 5
This version of Roy gives off such a weird vibe. I have no clue what his deal is yet, but I know I don’t like it... Jim’s conversation with Daryl was all sorts of ominous too.
Dwight is a delight! Of course it needs to be perfectly centered.
For a second there you had me going & I thought Jim had really taken Kelly on a date...
Date: January 02, 2021 12:00 pm Title: Chapter 5
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Trust the dog Pam. Singer has been onto Roy since the off. If you can't trust your own mind, trust his. Same when Singer goes off on his own, who does he go to? Jim!
Nice long chapter with a lot to chew on. Seems like Roy is trying to pull out all the stops. Using money and gifts to get ingratiate Pam to him. Though there's a lot to be concerned about. The locket is only the tip of the iceberg that I see. If he gets all bent out of shape about her not wearing it, what happens when they have bigger disagreements? Is he going to pull out "look how much I've done and spent for and on you? That's the gratidude I get?" and guilt Pam into a situation she doesn't want to be in. At least that's how I'm reading this.
Though Pam's already seeing signs herself the relationship with Roy isn't a good one. No sparks during the dates, getting upset about not wearing the locket, figuring out it was manipulation she was feeling, and of course relief that he leave there at the end. Also that she kept Singer with her till he left.
For a while I've been wondering as to the name of this piece. "Guardian." More and more it seems like Pam is going to need one. But who is that person? Or dog? Side note I LOVE Singer. Give him all the doggie treats.
I'm also kind of wishing Jim would grow a pair. His intuition on Roy also seems sound and he has more evidence with the way Darryl reacted. If you're really Pam's best friend, maybe it's time to step up even if it's hard.
Should be interesting to see where we go from here.
Date: January 02, 2021 09:14 am Title: Chapter 5
I loved reading this chapter! Even though I know the story, I found myself wondering what was going to happen next. You've done such an amazing job putting the characters in the story in a way that keeps things interesting. I love Kelly in the story, especially. "Lame Is" LOL! And I really like how you're taking us through what Pam is thinking. Roy doesn't rock her boat. That is an excellent way of putting it. Oh, Pam, I just need you to get with Jim already! I think he just might rock your boat... ;)
Date: January 02, 2021 07:56 am Title: Chapter 5
I’m so excited this one was updated!! I love this story. I’m super curious to find out what the deal with Roy is...all I know is that I don’t like him at all. Haha and the scene with Pam and Jim was so cute, with their teasing and banter and I love that Jim does puzzles!
I will also never complain about long chapters so never apologize for them. :)
More more more!
Date: December 12, 2020 03:40 am Title: Chapter 4
I’m with Jim - Roy is giving me a bad feeling too, & it’s not just because he’s dating Pam (although, maybe it mostly is...)
“Cobra is a guy with leather jackets who rides motorcycles and occasionally breaks the law. Ryan is a guy who works in an office and still lives with his mom.” This had me cackling. How perfect.
“But if I were you, I’d make it a good one, and I wouldn’t waste too much time coming up with it” This is the most brotherly advice ever - just make it good & make it quick, with no actual ideas. Oh boy...
Date: November 29, 2020 12:48 pm Title: Chapter 1
You have an outstanding insight into dog behaviour from sleeping positions, conversationalists, and character judges. Always trust the dog.
Date: November 29, 2020 12:13 pm Title: Prologue
What a wonderful introduction. Mark was a wonderful guy urging Pam to continue living. Friends haven't been that lucky.
Date: November 17, 2020 07:00 am Title: Chapter 4
Oh pining Jim. Felt just about identical to canon Jim here. With the caveat that since the Roy/Pam relationship is so new, mayber there's a chance he can do something about it before it gets to the point of an engagment or the like.
Shades of high school jock Roy here. Like he's staking his claim in full view of Jim. Pam seems a bit to infatuated with Roy to really notice any potential warning signs. Like when even Roy says he's not sure if her friends like him. Friend approval or dissaproval should be a big thing. Likewise dog approval but I've mentioined that already.
Kind of funny to envison Cobra Ryan. He still seems the same kind of distnerested jerk here, just with a different kind of vibe.
Nice job.
Date: November 16, 2020 08:06 pm Title: Chapter 4
Girl. There was so much I loved about this chapter.
I felt like this line was so representative of season 1-2 Jim. "He knew he was going to have a hell of a time trying to be happy for her as long as Roy was by her side." Like UGH. He's got it so bad for her. And I like/hate the fact that Pam seems to genuinely like Roy, even if she's a little hesitant. It feels very true to canon.
I loved the whole Cobra/Ryan thing. That made me laugh out loud. And the Kelly/Roy dynamic really intrigues me. We never got any of that in canon, but I could kind of see it happen, actually.
The part with the locket makes me a little suspicious of Roy. But that's the goal, right?
Can't wait for more!
Date: November 16, 2020 07:23 pm Title: Chapter 4
I’m SO HAPPY you updated this because I love it so much! I’m excited for more.
Also I loved this line: “ Missed watching her eyes change from an emerald green to an almost turquoise as the sun set.” So sweet. Poor Jim. Haha keep up the good work, lady!
Date: November 16, 2020 06:32 pm Title: Chapter 4
So happy to see this story updated!
I can’t wait to see a more confident Jim, actually going after what he wants! :)
Also, I don’t know if it’s just me, but I think Roy’s name was put as Richard a few times in this... in Poor Richards and then when Roy visits Pam at work. If I’m wrong, sorry! But thought you’d want to know :)
Author's Response: Yeah, I had messed up a couple of times, but I fixed it, so it should all be good now! Thank you so much for letting me know though! Since I'm basing this off of the book, I have the book beside me for reference and sometimes I slip up lol. But thank you for reading! I'm so glad you are enjoying it!!
Date: October 07, 2020 10:28 am Title: Chapter 3
Grrrr, why does this Roy have to be a good guy. At least at this point. Still, there was the moment of hesitency when Roy showed up. And of course Singer still doesn't like Roy.
Also grr, Pam and Roy are getting on good. Blah.
Jim's not in the best headspace either. I'm sure it's not going to be any better when Pam and Roy show up.
Great writing to bring out all those feelings.