1 [Report This]Date: October 06, 2020 11:18 am Title: Chapter 5
Cliffhanger!!!
1 [Report This]Date: October 06, 2020 09:40 am Title: Chapter 5
Loved the image of them just holding each other there at the start. It's always nice to see them just be together. That things develop quickly seems a natural development in this story.
They know how they feel about each other and they're getting over about feeling afraid of how they feel.
Pam coming into Jim's room in just a towel, yes please. Also yes please to everything that follows. Warm, sensual, and wonderfully descriptive.
The pillow talk confessions afterwards seem right as well. There's still a good amount of emotional baggage to unpack but rather than fighting about it, they're trusting each other with it. Love that.
Oh dear, and here's Roy. Nice cliffie there. I can see several ways that could go so I'm really looking forward to seeing how you write it.
Speaking of that, much clearer writing this time. With each new person speaking is a new paragraph it's a lot easier to keep track of everything.
Author's Response: Yay! Glad that came through. Thanks for reviewing :) I love a good towel scene ;) just a lil somthin to heat up the sensuality of it all.
Date: October 04, 2020 07:39 pm Title: Chapter 1
I have to admit that I was surprisingly impressed by Roy’s reaction to the break-up.
He took it much better than I thought he would,
Pam had many reasons to call it off even if there was no Jim.
Pam’s mom and sister hot on my nerves.
Why didn’t Pam speak up and tell them that she was calling off the wedding, to her mom since Pam talked to her the night before on the phone about Jim.
Please update soon.
Author's Response: Someone else pointed that out. I admit, I had a total brain fart! I forgot that she had just talked to her mom the night before. I updated it so that it was just her sister that surprised her. I figured she is still kind of in her own head and overwhelmed by everything that's happening, and that's why she didn't say anything to her sister. (I want to maybe slip in somewhere that it was during that breakfast with her sister that she decided she needed to call it quits. Maybe when her co workers ask her what happened, that'll be the reason while her and Jim keep their relationship a secret. But I'm not sure yet.) Glad you are enjoying!
1 [Report This]Date: October 04, 2020 07:24 pm Title: Chapter 4
I am really loving this story! I think this break up with Roy is so plausible and realistic and you do a really good job writing Roy. I think it’s really easy to go overboard with him and you walked the line perfectly of him being a little bit of a dick but still being sad and understanding. Haha not an easy thing to do!
And I also love the reveal of why it took so long for her to get back to Jim. Can’t wait to see what happens now that she doesn’t have Roy in the picture anymore! :)
Author's Response: Thank you so so much! I find that a lot really, that he's written as a raging alcoholic or just abusive and mean. I mean, he's got those traits, but he did still show a sweet side in the show. I'm glad I was able to make that come through here. I'm so happy you are enjoying!! Thanks for the review!
1 [Report This]Date: October 04, 2020 07:17 pm Title: Chapter 4
Oh, Roy. He's just so... thoughtless.
Author's Response: Right?
1 [Report This]Date: October 04, 2020 07:16 pm Title: Chapter 4
The breakup is always an interesting scene to write. I think you did it justice. Roy doesn't think anything's wrong so he just goes along with his normal routine of not really thinking about her or what she wants.
Good for Pam to stick to her guns, especially when Penny comes over.
After that many beers, yeah I get why Roy would get a DUI. That's eight from last night and what, four during the day? Yeah, get out of that. However he did have his little sweet moment there where he hugged her. Roy's not all bad, he's just not right for Pam. You brought that out well.
Looking forward to more as always.
(Also nice job with the changes from my previous review of this chapter. That was a simple solution and worked well.)
Author's Response: Thanks! As I said, you are the bomb :) Thanks for helping me be a better writer!
1 [Report This]Date: October 03, 2020 06:23 am Title: Chapter 2
This is a great story. Steamy and sweet. I really like this moment:
"He turned back to the kitchen island and looked her in the eye before continuing, “And we can’t sleep in the same bed.” He said in a low tone. Pam felt a heat radiate inside her at his words. She swallowed hard before responding, “Right.”
Author's Response: Thank you!!! I love the implied 'we can't but I really want to' vibe. One of my favorite things to write :) Glad you are enjoying!
1 [Report This]Date: October 02, 2020 07:37 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ok so you’re definitely going to have to show us the break-up from Pam’s POV!
And what took so long?
I was starting to thing that Roy attacked her.
Please update soon!
Author's Response: Oh we will all find out in the next chapter!!! I’m glad you are enjoying!!
Date: October 02, 2020 05:53 pm Title: Chapter 3
You've done a good job of capturing Jim's anxiety here, and identifying the impact they have on each other - he makes her braver, she makes him more selfless.
Author's Response: Thank you!! I love that dynamic of their relationship so much, I’m glad I could do it justice!
1 [Report This]Date: October 02, 2020 04:14 pm Title: Chapter 3
You really hit the emotional ball out of the park with this one. I mean the tension and anxiety are nearly palpable. It felt like waiting for a storm you know you have no change of avoiding and worse you don't know how long it might last. You just batten down the hatches and hope your house is still standing at the end. Then of course there's Pam weather-worn at the end of it and they're in each other's arms. Clearly a rough day for her.
She had her own storm to weather as well. However with Jim's love, her declaring her love for him, and his kiss she wasn't swept under the waves. Great writing to get all that out.
Author's Response: Thank you thank you!! I’m glad the anxiety came across, as someone who has dealt with anxiety in the past, I can only imagine what it must be like to have to tell your fiancé that you cheated on him and are breaking off the engagement. So much so, I feel like I was getting contact anxiety writing this one. My heart was racing!! I don’t know how I’m gonna get through next chapter when we actually see the conversation!
1 [Report This]Date: October 01, 2020 03:35 pm Title: Chapter 2
This is great and I am so excited for the next chapter!
Date: October 01, 2020 03:34 pm Title: Chapter 2
This is great and I am so excited for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Yay!! I’m excited you’re excited!! Thanks for reading!!!
1 [Report This]Date: September 30, 2020 09:06 pm Title: Chapter 2
The scene of them waking up in bed together having cuddled in the night and not being able to resist each other... that's some good jam, right there.
And I like the note of Jim still trying to be a friend even as he's becoming something more than that.
Author's Response: Thank you!! It's part of why I love Jim so much, and their relationship in general; the way that they wrote them as best friends before anything else. Warms the heart <3
Date: September 30, 2020 08:34 pm Title: Chapter 2
I have to admit that I am looking forward to seeing the break-up between Pam and Roy. He’ll never see it coming.
Also is Jim still going to Stamford?
Author's Response: Right? I'm glad it's coming across that way! I really didn't want it to be so raunchy that they just seem like adulterers :) I don't think I'll have Jim go to Stamford. I think in this plot, now that he's got her, he's not going anywhere.
1 [Report This]Date: September 30, 2020 04:44 pm Title: Chapter 2
So that took the intensity up a few notches. I love that Pam is not having doubts about her decision. Yes it's a scary prospect she's facing, but she's not turing away from it. Good for you Pam.
Considering everything they've said and done I really get why the atmosphere around them is still charged. You did a great job in describing that as well. How they're both thinking about the other one the way they are.
You can just feel the strain they're under by not getting into anything more physical for the moment. Great writing to bring that out.
Jim waking up to have Pam on his chest and her not wanting to move was just all sorts of lovely. I love scenes like that and this one was just sublime. Still doing a great job with this. Can't wait for more.
Author's Response: So glad you are enjoying!! And thank you so much for the kind words, it really means a lot!
1 [Report This]Date: September 29, 2020 01:10 pm Title: Chapter 1
This story was very sexy.
Author's Response: Thank you!!
1 [Report This]Date: September 29, 2020 10:28 am Title: Chapter 1
Yay! I'm so glad you brought this over.
You made a lot of choices in this story I really like.
Pam wigging out after the second kiss and really needing the comfort only Jim can provide and Jim wrongly concluding that his feelings are less important to her than the betrayal of Roy is VERY true to them at this point in the story.
Jim echoing her "what are you doing?" is great - I'm a sucker for that kind of callback.
Jim wanting to be a saint and have her go deal with Roy before going further but not quite managing to do so feels very real - because Jim's not stopping this for anything, right or wrong.
The lines at the end - wow. I mean, that's just good writing. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you!! I'm glad you enjoyed. I adore writing Jim and Pam because they are both such beautiful archetypes of what I think most people strive to be. And I love throwing in that blurred line of right an wrong, especially when you're in love with someone. Thanks for the review!
1 [Report This]Date: September 29, 2020 10:10 am Title: Chapter 1
Now that's one helluva first story! Welcome to MTT. Always lovely to see a Casino Night fix-it fic and this delivers in so many ways. You did a great job in getting into their heads. The storm of emotions boiling through them. Especially just after the first kiss and when Jim asks his question.
I do like that they don't take it any farther until Pam says outloud she doesn't want to marry Roy. However the lines saying she's thought that before seemed so very on point. Yet another great layer of depth this story has.
Then of course the buildup through everthting once they get into the conferance room. Super hot and delightfully descriptive about everything.
However that last line, "Take me home with you." Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it.
I see this is still marked incomplete. Hopefully that means we'll still see some more in this story. However this works great as a one-shot as well.
Phenominal job for your first story.
Author's Response: Thank you so so much! I worked really hard trying to get Jim and Pam right, I'm so glad it shows!! I am working on continuing this story even though it started as a one shot. I def want to explore how Pam will handle breaking up with Roy and maybe some Jim/Pam tension of trying not to be intimate until she breaks it off. Thank you so much for reading and leaving a review!