1 [Report This]Date: December 06, 2020 02:37 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is such a beautiful work! Jim's ache is palpable; I felt myself drowning in his nightmare as I read, so gut-wrenching. And I *love* that it was all a nightmare; what a clever twist for a doubly happy resolution.
1 [Report This]Date: December 06, 2020 02:24 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ok so the whole time reading this I wanted to throw up, not only because of the desperate pain he must of been feeling to take off like he did and and for all the actions he took on his journey but because of all the drinking and the churning I felt in my stomach thinking how is he even standing after all that.
And it was all a crazy dream - what a good twist and so glad for it.
The whole thing was so powerful, the pain and the imagery. I loved the the song too, adding it to my Jam playlist now.
1 [Report This]Date: December 02, 2020 07:18 pm Title: Chapter 1
Loved it:)
1 [Report This]Date: December 01, 2020 02:40 am Title: Chapter 1
I loved this! I thought you did a great job of getting in Jim's head on his failed emotional rehab odyssey. I can see this version of Jim with his attempted recovery being thwarted by his inability to stop self-sabotaging it because he can't - doesn't really want to - let go. And I love a happy ending! Thanks!
1 [Report This]Date: November 23, 2020 07:10 am Title: Chapter 1
The prose of this piece is just gorgeous - I think this is the best capital-W Writing you've done for the archive yet.
I think you've tapped effectively into Jim's emotions post-Casino Night and brought us into them with you the pure devastation, his wild mood swings, his uncertainty about what's next. You've made a strong connection between how lost he is physically and how lost he is emotionally.
I love the note at the end where Pam knows him well enough to find him - clearly she's got a "Facts about Jim" folder. Maybe a sign that even his subconscious knows things aren't as dire as they seem!
Well done with this.
1 [Report This]Date: November 23, 2020 04:53 am Title: Chapter 1
Beth! Wow! Okay so that was a ride. Tortured Jim was just so raw through everything. Forgetting time, distance, himself. The only thing he could remember was her. Sadly it seemed the one thing he wanted to let go since it was killing him so much. Often the strongest prisons are the ones we create for our own minds. I saw this in spades with Jim's flight here. No matter how far he ran, he can never run far enough. Then she shows up. She's been hurting too, but she has the strength to fight for what really matters.
And then it's a dream, but a dream with a twist. That bit there about how this world's Casino Night went down and how they found each other. The "it was only a dream" trope can sometimes feel like a cop out, but here it worked.
Well done.
1 [Report This]Date: November 22, 2020 08:25 pm Title: Chapter 1
“He wasn’t sure when he had subconsciously made the decision to stay near the coast, but maybe it was to be anchored to something since he’d never be anchored to her.” This was just one of very many lines I loved where you show just how much pain he’s in. Holy tortured Jim, Batman!! But man, did you make me feel things and I’m here for it. Just to give me some whiplash at the end. How dare you, ma’am?!
1 [Report This]Date: November 22, 2020 07:56 pm Title: Chapter 1
Beth this was so good!! I loved it so much. You could feel Jim's pain. How much he loved her and how much he hated that she couldn't be hers. It broke my heart that all he wanted to do was get away but everywhere he went, she was there too. and then to have her show up just for him? My heartttttt, Beth. AND THEN THE ENDING. How it was all just a nightmare? She actually broke it off with Roy and went with Jim on Casino Night? Amazing. 5 gold jellybeans.