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I’m finally getting a chance to read this and I am really enjoying it. Your vivid imagery immediately fills my mind with the intricacies of this world you have created with our beloved characters. The descriptions of Madeleine, in particular, are creating this wonderful three dimensional sketch of your OC.
Also, as a lover of words, I fully appreciate when I have to look up something while reading and I have had to do so a couple of times reading this. So, thank you for introducing me to some new words and thank you for writing this.

Author's Response:

Oh gosh, thank you. That means so much! I too am a lover of words and intricate prose, sometimes a bit too much. I always worry that I’ve trailed off into a jargon and synonym meadow and left my readers behind (especially when I use music terms, as I am a musician). But sometimes there is that lexical gap with a phrase that just can’t quite be replaced. Anyway, I’m really glad you are enjoying it and I do hope to write more sooner once work stops being horrendous and insane. 

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Much as I loved Pam’s escape act in the last chapter, I’m glad that you acknowledged that that sort of triumph, no matter how cathartic, was invariably going to be brief. She can escape having to do a talking head and having to sit there with Jim and Karen, but she can’t actually leave anything behind. Her life is exactly as messy as it was before she peeled out of the parking lot, and it’s going to take work for it to be unmessy. It’s just real stuff, and you’re telling a real story with it.

I think Pam being overwhelmed by anxiety is a perfectly natural outcome at this point. As One_Small_Writer among others has noted, Pam in general gives off a lot of signs of someone dealing with anxiety issues throughout the early years of the series, and she’s been pushed to her mental limit over the last few days. I especially appreciated the note about how EMBARRASSING this is for the very private Pam to have all her business out there like this, something which is not often a big feature of post-Cocktails/Negotiation fics.

“The tragedy for which Pam fought back tears again, as she flipped on her turn signal and entered the line of traffic, was the realization that life would likely never be simple or uncomplicated” is a good line, and such a good line for Pam, who as you noted is someone who has actively resisted complication for years and paid the price for it.

I like the parallels of the two trips to Jim and Mark’s, one to break her out of the denial stage and one to help cement her acceptance of her loss. And this image of Roy as an overgrown teenager who is barely concerned about his own girlfriend going to the hospital would have been hard to read without knowing that she and him were over.

I may have mentioned this before, but it’s really fun having someone write about Pam as an artist from the perspective of someone who is deeply engrained in that world. It’s great seeing her break away from the drama for a minute and start exploring this new world she wants to be part of – and presumably nice for her, too. That oath seems like exactly what she needs to hear right now. You can really see how Pam might benefit from a little support and guidance from someone like Madeleine who believes in her and frankly is removed from the situation.

Looking forward to seeing where you roll on with this next!

P.S. I'm okay with the use of the song that hadn't been released yet because Sara Bareilles defies the constraints of space and time. Like, Sweet As Whole clearly has far more than eight or nine years of history behind it.

Author's Response: I’m slightly embarrassed by how happy your reviews make me. It’s delightful to see the details I’ve mulled over not only noticed but appreciated. So thank you for writing this and therein making my day! 

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No the plot's not plodding along. Rather I see this as Pam processing everything and starting down a new path for herself. She wants to be more open, more honest, less like a doormat. That journey has to start somewhere. Getting the context behind it, in this case her almost sleepless night, helped to show where that journey is starting from.

But I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Grea use of description throughout this chapter. Though her thoughts at the start did peak my intrest a bit.

"absent the peaty complexity or wooded finishes she associated with a higher grade of liquor."

Sounds like Pam is a fan of Scotch or other fine whisky. Well done Pam. A line like that to me shows that Pam is really interested in exploring the world around her, not just going through the motions of it. Thus her artistic abilities. Take time to enjoy and savor the drink rather than just knock it back to get drunk. Great detail.

I also loved the fact she peeled out of the parking lot to get away from the doc crew. She told them already she was done talking about Roy and his actions are not her resposibility. They tried pressing and she's not having it. Well done Pam again. That's how you stand up for yourself. If the start of this chapter is Pam getting a spark back into her life, that parking lot peel out is fanning that spark into a flame. Loved it.

So it seems the stage is set. Her life is going in a new direction that is right up her alley and she seems genuinly happy to be traveling that path. Can't wait for the next update.

Author's Response:

I really enjoy your insights to Pam's psychological makeup. "...never been one to take up much space" is early Pam in a nutshell. Your reference to invisible wounds explains why. I sometimes think the invisible ones take longer to heal than the physical ones. Humans tend to pick at the emotional damage more.

Describing Pam's insomnia with a dancing metaphor is a change up from the painting ones. I think you were going for a ballet visual; mine tend to be cloggers or Russian Army dancers. I believe the cure for insomnia is to abolish the hours between 2:45 and 4:30 AM, the hours when the dark night of the soul hit.

Ms. Shay is a bright spot again. Her job offer/job description sounded more like an invitation than a business deal. For Pam who is trying to establish more control over her own life, it was a perfect approach even if Madeline had no insight. The extra bucks means Pam gets to eat!

One thing I did notice in Roy's attack in the office is that Jim looks to Pam first before protecting Karen right before Dwight pepper sprays them all. I'm wondering if Pam noticed it as well. I think her Jimdar (Jim radar) would have clocked it. Hope, the bane of human existence.

I enjoy plodding. It makes me introspective.

Author's Response:

Aw, thank you for this. I love all the details you’ve touched on here and agree 100%, especially on abolishing the insomnia hours (@Russian army dancers had me lol! That’s perfect.)

@Jim’s look - yes, yes! You are absolutely right; here’s the question though - what does that look entail?  I rotate from horrified, to baffled, to protective, to resentful, to ??? It’s very interesting and I think Pam’s Jimdar would definitely have latched on to it and replayed it in her mind for days...poor girl!

The human condition is such a gloriously complicated thing, it’s been terribly interesting delving into Pam’s psyche. And it makes me so happy to hear you are enjoying that process too! Thanks a million for reading and reviewing! 

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The rest of the office having held a karaoke night instead of going to Pam’s show is a GUT. PUNCH. Even before we realize that’s why Jim isn’t there. I think it’s a good choice – it’s sufficiently emotionally painful to provoke Pam to react to their abandonment of her immediately.

This is a really solid encapsulation of Roy at this point in the story – he is absolutely just kind of checking the box, which is an improvement over his past performance as S.O., but he still doesn’t understand what Pam wants in a broad sense and still isn’t really capable or interested in giving it to her in the long run. (TWSS) And of course, he immediately proves it by blowing off her big news, demanding credit for his “accomplishment” and acting like he’s done enough to have won her back already. (The unspoken contrast with how Jim, even S3 Jim, might respond to being told she’d been recommended for a paying gig in the arts, is sharp.)

Obviously the idea of Pam reaching her Beach Games moment without Jim there, and with the idea in mind that being courageous and honest means that it’s time for her to let Jim go, wildly reshapes the back end of the season 3. Looking forward to seeing what you do now that we’re off the beaten path.

Author's Response: You all write some of the best and most helpful reviews on the internet! Thank you!

Yeah, total gut punch about the art show/karaoke night, although alternatively they are at home? To our knowledge, only Toby had something :( Another reason I had all of this happen in a single night was because, to this day, I am ((mortified)) that none of them approached Pam the day after the bar scene or attack on Jim. It's absolutely in character and totally speaks to the whole "invisible and undervalued Pam" arc; but still, when faced with outright violence and potential signs of abuse, nothing? Ugh. It just makes me sad (which we can all agree is why the show's writing is *perfect*...and I've now destroyed it...well done, me). I guess we'll see if I can write myself out of this hole, lol! Thanks again for reading and leaving your review!! 

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What wonderful writing.

I particularly liked the extended metaphor of Pam's painting and her opinions of it to show her overall emotional state at this point. Your respect for the readers' full grounding in established characters physical descriptions shines through. After setting the stage briefly and subtly about Jim, his influence in Pam's life seems to hover over this piece. You've conveyed a mastery in the skills needed to be a watercolor artist with the fine points about creating a painting; the details anchor your lyrical writing in reality in a good way.

Ryan's comment about Jim's inadequate wardrobe for Stamford cracked me up. It was a nice touch of levity in a thoughtful piece. Allowing readers fill in Kelly's chatter was an excellent choice. I really liked your depiction of Toby as a competent HR Rep; he does know his stuff.

The character who really shone through for me though was Madeline Shaw. Your compact description of her attire gave me a clear picture of her. Her dialogue showed her understanding of being a starving artist, a teacher/mentor, and businesswoman.

Good onya.

Author's Response: Aw, you’re the sweetest. Thank you! I really appreciate and am heartened by all the details you picked up on. I feel a bit like Pam, watching Michael observe all of the details of her work. 

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First of all well done on posting your first story here. That can be intimidating from time to time, so bravo.

I really liked this. You did a great job with the decriptions of everything as well as all of Pam's introspection. Yes this is just a set up chapter, but it's a great one. You really get into Pam's mindset here. Especially with the flashback.

I'm really looking forward to seeing where this goes. The next instalments should be really interesting.

Author's Response: Thank you! I admit I was more nervous than I thought I’d be to post. So silly. Yes, we’ll definitely get more into the thick of the plot in the next chapter or so. But I’m really glad you’re enjoying it and so appreciate you taking the time to write this review.