Date: January 10, 2021 08:32 am Title: Chapter 14
UGH. Okay. I get it. It makes sense on why Jim took Karen back, it really does. But gosh darn it, why did he take her back?! Ughhhhh.
I'm also sad that the college flashbacks are over! I loveddd them! But I'm also excited for more present time chapters!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! And haha, I know. I really did love writing the college flashbacks, so am very glad to hear that :) But hopefully there'll be enough drama in the present to be getting on with...
Date: January 10, 2021 08:27 am Title: Chapter 14
Ok, I just love love love Karen’s monologue here. It’s hilarious how her contempt for Pam is so freaking present that she thinks of Jim and Isabel. I just gotta say Karen, you better watch out cause Pam is about to come and bite you in the heel.
Author's Response: Haha, thank you so much! It was fun to write. I will say, it's not *entirely* Karen's fault here: Pam does also spend her whole time trying to pretend she's not interested in Jim and supporting Karen and Jim's relationship, whereas Isabel doesn't like her and doesn't like their relationship. I know which friend I'd see as a bigger threat if I was going out with someone in that situation...
Date: January 10, 2021 07:52 am Title: Chapter 14
Depressing chapter, but I think you brought the college years to a very solid conclusion.
Pam’s part rounds out the explanation for how they got back to where they are in the present well – her life has been permanently set off course in her eyes, and she’s clinging to Jim because him sticking by her is the one thing that’s gone right and it’s something she really needs to get through the day. She wants to be good to him and she’s probably not mentally prepared to be with him anyways. It all makes sense, it’s just hard to read.
And on Jim’s side, he’s also lost (to a much less serious degree) some of the pillars of his current life, and maybe needed someone like Karen at this moment, especially a Karen who is making more of an effort. I really like the choice to root Karen’s issue with his friends in her insecurity, which makes her seem human rather than just awful. But still, her total contempt for Pam shines through, here in the sense of just not SEEING Pam the way she should.
Anyhow, the road between here and Chapter One looks clear. This is just a really well constructed story.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! That's really lovely to hear :) Despite the depressing-ness, lol.
I will say one further thing in Karen's defence here - which is that, to me, it's not all just contempt for Pam. There's also an element of Pam not letting herself be seen, i.e. Isabel is more willing to push against Karen (in part because she's rooting for Jim and Pam), in a way that Pam just doesn't let herself do. I think Karen and Isabel have some similar personality traits in this fic (they're both confident and go after what they want, unlike Pam), so it feels like Karen would recognise more of herself in Isabel - and that, coupled with the fact that Isabel is genuinely a bit hostile towards her - makes her see her as more a threat. So Pam is not entirely blameless...
Date: January 09, 2021 08:05 am Title: Chapter 13
Ughhhh. Pam willing to put up with Henri's wrath in order to help Jim is just... ugh. Is that the reason she got fired though?? I feel SO bad for her. Henri sucks, man. I really wonder what this means for her though. Is Jim going to stay because Pam can't afford the apartment? I hope so. Also, Jim's little realization when it comes to wanting to stay in Scranton but not because of Scranton is just amazing. I wish we would have seen what would have happened if Pam didn't get fired but that was also a great cliffhanger. So many questions, but I'm enjoying every minute of this. Ive said it a million times and I'll say it a million more, I loveeee this story.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying it :D And haha, Henri does suck - the being late was sort of the straw that broke the camel's back, but Henri sucking, being upset about Kelly, and generally not getting on with Pam was all already there.
I will say that I think there's still a chance Jim might have chickened out even if Pam hadn't got fired...
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: January 08, 2021 01:08 pm Title: Chapter 1
I totally thought that Mark and Isabel were going to end up together, but I don’t mind that they didn’t, long as they stay friends.
Thank god Jim finally stood up to Ryan! He really is a conniving little shit, and I’m glad he and Pam are broken up.
Of course Jim’s going to miss Scranton, too, and I find it interesting that you had Phyllis turn down the transfer for Bob. Maybe it’s finally going to make Jim realize that Stamford isn’t what he wants; it’s Pam that he wants.
Finally, I feel bad for Pam, of course - she just lost her job! But I think it’ll be good for her to find a different job, without someone as sensitive as Henri as her boss. And obviously Jim’s going to want to stay a little longer to help her find a job, so now there’s more direct JAM scenes.
And I have no jellybeans left to submit:(.
BlindManCassidy
Author's Response:
Thank you! :) I'm glad you're ok about Mark and Isabel haha, and yes: they have definitely stayed friends.
Agreed on Pam finding a better job away from Henri, she can definitely do better. Jim is...getting there.
Thank so much for reviewing (and for leaving jellybeans!)
Date: January 08, 2021 11:09 am Title: Chapter 13
Okay, first Henri needs to take a chill pill. And Two, I know this is supposed to be a bad thing for Pam but I am rejoicing. Normally getting fired and especially when you’re trying to find a home is a bad thing. But I feel like Jim is going to stay for at least a little while because he knows he can’t just leave her on the streets. So right now I’m happy. Thank you. I’m still really nervous though.
Author's Response: Thank you! And haha, I will say that Pam getting fired is going to have consequences for the two of them in a way that moves the story along. Also, I don't think Pam getting away from Henri is the worst thing in the world. Thanks for continuing to review :)
Date: January 08, 2021 10:10 am Title: Chapter 13
You did a really great job building these small but powerful moments in this. Pam realizing it’s “I” and not “we” looking for this apartment hurt, a lot, especially when paired with the canon reference to another moment with an apartment search happening because of Jim and Karen getting closer. And the tone of this is really spot on, perfectly mournful.
I do appreciate you working in a slimy Ryan moment with Ryan not being as smooth as he thinks he is. I love this “she’s really cut up about it” “really?” “No.” exchange. Nice to see him get cut down to size. Maybe he’ll take from this the lesson that actions have consequences. Probably not, though – feels an awful lot like he went straight out after Pam wouldn’t sleep with him and hooked up with Kelly.
I don’t think I quite got before what you were hinting at, but it’s clear here that Karen kind of got her way and separated Jim from most of his friends. I’m glad that Mark gets to play a role in the march towards a happy ending, though. (I appreciate the thought, but I’m not too worried about Misabel. In the words of a wise man WHO MADE A SECOND APPEARANCE!!!!, engaged ain’t married. Plus, there’s always fanfiction fanfiction.)
I really liked having the love of Bob and Phyllis, along with Mark’s engagement, helping shake things up for Jim here.
The “she’s home, she’s home” lines were perfect. And now we have Pam at odds and ends too – feels like a great way to shake things up for these two.
Author's Response:
Thanks very much!!
I do love some Jim cutting Ryan down to size. But you may not be entirely wrong with your theory on how much Ryan has learnt from this...
Hehe I'm glad to hear that about Misabel. Although I should tell you this is technically Michael's third appearance (there might have been a small cameo in the first chapter). I just feel like his Chilli's appreciation must persist regardless of who he's working for.
I can confirm this is going to shake things up in one way or another...
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: January 08, 2021 09:48 am Title: Chapter 13
Felt like a bit easier on the angst level with this one. It's still there mind you, but considering everything else you've put us through with this story, this feels like it got toned down a couple notches. Not to say the writing was toned down mind you. You're still doing a great job with everything.
The tension between Jim and Ryan is still there. I'm still on Jim's side. Ryan is a jerk.
Was that a Micheal sighting I just saw there in the resturant? I've been wondering if he was going to make an appearance and if so in what regard. I now have a theory. Remains to be seen if it'll pan out though.
Feels like Jim is getting a better handle on his feelings. Mark is happy and Jim feels better for reconnecting. Phyillis saying she doesn't want to leave because Bob is there and that line resonating with him also helps to see what he would be missing.
Though the site of Pam crying because of the lost job I think is going to be a big thing with him. So, great job with this one. Really looking forward to where we go from here.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! That's really kind of you to say :) And yes haha, I thought we needed a bit of a break from all the angst.
I'm obviously totally on Jim's side too. I do enjoy Jim/Ryan tension though.
That was indeed a Michael sighting - he might have slipped into a couple of earlier chapters in Chilli's too ;) I'm intrigued by what you theory is though! Let me know if it does/doesn't pan out as we go...
Thanks for reviewing!
1 [Report This]Date: January 08, 2021 09:29 am Title: Chapter 13
Everything coming to head for Jim and Pam gives me hope that this won't last much longer.
I'm ready to see Karen and Jim break it off, and Pam and Jim see how great they can be together.
Author's Response: Thank you! :) And er there may be a few more twists to come before we get there...but hopefully it won't be too bad!
1 [Report This]Date: January 07, 2021 01:59 am Title: Chapter 12
Wow. This was just wow.
I am going to take this review just to applaud your amazing writing skills. It is very difficult to write such hard-hitting greif; not angst or heartbreak, but downright greif in different layers. Just brilliant.
Both the Jim/Pam scenes had me in tears. You have really done an amazing job showing how nothing really went sour between them, or there was no crazy soap opera misunderstanding. It were simply circumstances which made them miss out on each other, again. And that hits more than anything.
I am ranting now- because this was just WOW. Kudos.
(went back to almost all the chapters where you had made references to Pam's past, and oof. You have tied it up all so well!)
Author's Response:
Thank you so so much, that's really nice of you to say and so amazing to hear :) I have to admit, I was tearing up writing a couple of the moments. (Although some of that may have been lockdown-related). I definitely agree I find it much more tragic when it's circumstances that get in the way rather than anything else.
That's also great to hear on the references to Pam's past (I was very mindful of it while I was writing haha) - thank you!
Thanks very much for continuing to review :)
1 [Report This]Date: January 06, 2021 11:29 am Title: Chapter 12
I have a lot of questions. Number One.... HOW DARE YOU????
Come on Basscop! This is a real pain, and it's even worse because we now that after all this years this is now resolved and now Jim is moving.
Please get Karen of out the picture already!
As always, I love your updates!
Author's Response:
Haha - sorry!
I can't make promises about how quickly Karen will be out of the picture, but hopefully it won't be too painful...I *think* this chapter is pretty much one of the worst things I'm planning to put them through. I think.
Thanks so so much for reading and reviewing, really glad you're enjoying!
Date: January 06, 2021 09:50 am Title: Chapter 12
Sigh. It just feels like the forces of the universe are conspiring against them in this moment. Things are finally coming together for them and all of a sudden Pam’s life is blown apart in a way that ends up convincing Jim she’s not interested *and* gives Karen an opportunity to make herself look like a good partner for a minute and a half. Frustrating.
I will pause this review to do my “I figured out where the story was going!” dance. Somberly.
Seriously, this is a well-written and gut-wrenching moment – you can really feel Pam’s anxiety and how overwhelming it is for her to be thrust into her mom’s role as caregiver and feel completely incapable of doing it while she’s just barely beginning to process her grief. (Her anxiety over the details of the funeral being wrong was touching.) She really could have used someone there to take care of her in the early days when she was taking care of everyone else. You’ve made the case well for why this sets Pam’s life so far off course.
And you’ve also made sense of why they end up back where they are in Chapter One without really addressing this. They’re not really in a place where Jim is comfortable and Pam is capable of taking emotional risks, and these are two people for whom that doesn’t come easy in the first place. Add to that that Pam badly needs his support and Jim badly wants to give it and you have the ingredients for a years long mess.
Lastly: good heavens, this Karen is dislikable. Super manipulative move to get Jim to talk to her. (A thought I had reading this is that Karen's flaws are going to end up biting her in the end - her contempt for Pam means it doesn't even occur to her here that Pam might have been at Jim's apartment for other purposes. She never sees her as the threat she is.)
Author's Response:
Thanks so much! I've realised, when reflecting on this fic, that it sort of is a long series of the forces of the universe conspiring against them. Although they don't necessarily always help themselves either.
I'm really thrilled (maybe also somberly?) to hear that on the stuff about Pam though, thank you :) And haha, you did indeed!
And yeah, I almost feel like I should have invented another character, because this Karen isn't really like the actual Karen at all. I'm having a lot of fun writing her though. Her flaws are also 100% going to end up biting her...
Date: January 06, 2021 09:38 am Title: Chapter 12
*Sigh. As much as I want to write in all caps and just push out my anger at Jim and Pam, I can’t. I’m just wrecked and exhausted. I truly understand the pain Pam is going through because of her mom but that doesn’t mean that night was a freaking mistake. Losing her mom is going to bring a lot of sadness to Pam, so why don’t you want so happiness to cheer you up in Jim? You literally said you love him and you finally see that he may have feelings like you and he isn’t with Karen SO WHY ARE YOU PUSHING HIM AWAY??(Yeah, sorry I can’t resist the all caps sometimes). I don’t know if I can handle Jim getting back with Karen. He was so strong and firm by saying no to her but I think he is going to just cave in because of another Pam rejection. I’m loving the story and you are doing a fantastic job but please please tell me there is an end in sight? I need another chapter 10 but with a happy ending.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! (And I'm really sorry for all the heartbreak/exhaustion/frustration, lol). If it helps, I'm not sure that Pam was in a place at this point in the story where she was ready for a new relationship, on top of everything else - so some of this is also her just clinging to what she knows.
But if you can handle it for a bit longer, there will be an end in sight! I think this is the peak of the heartbreak.
Thanks for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it :)
1 [Report This]Date: January 06, 2021 09:00 am Title: Chapter 12
“ She knew she was lying about herself. She knew she was lying, but in that moment she just couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. And it was a lie that was almost comforting in its familiarity, a lie that had kept their friendship afloat for the past three years, and she needed it because she needed him.”
Oh, man. Oh, *Pam*.
I was so happy for them! They’d finally gotten together, and then this happens. Poor Pam is having the worst luck right now.
And honestly, I think Karen’s reaction was super mature. She’d just seen her ex with his crush in their room the night after they broke up, and then she offers him some good advice? Good on her! I still think she’s toxic, though.
Lastly, I want to talk about the quote at the top. I understand that Pam’s mother has just passed, so suddenly, but it breaks my heart that she thinks she has to keep her feelings from Jim a secret or she’ll lose him, too. It breaks my heart because I’ve been there, believing that the foundation of one of my close relationships was built on lies.
You’ve wrecked us, Basscop69. You’ve wrecked me.
BlindManCassidy
Author's Response:
Thank you so much (and sorry for the wrecking!)
So I actually agree with you that Karen's reaction was mature - and that she is toxic, but she's not a total bitch all the time. And I wrote that part thinking that she would genuinely feel bad knowing that someone's mom had died, and be able to get past her drama with Jim for a moment to offer him reasonable advice.
I'm really sorry to hear that about one of your relationships - I can also fully relate. I really felt for Pam writing it, lol.
Thanks so much for continuing to read and review :)
1 [Report This]Date: January 06, 2021 08:32 am Title: Chapter 12
Oh, my heart. Poor Pam. But it also makes a lot of sense why things went the way they did and didn’t turn into something more.
Basscop, this story could be a book! And I don’t say that lightly. It’s amazingly crafted, like I’ve said before. Amazing job well done!
Author's Response: That's incredibly kind to say - thank you so much!! I'm really thrilled you're enjoying it :)
Date: January 06, 2021 08:17 am Title: Chapter 12
Wow, okay, I did not expect that. I feel so bad for Pam. First losing her mom and then thinking that Jim thinks that last night was a mistake. Ugh. I hate that Karen talked him out of going to Scranton right away but I'm SO glad that he was there for the funeral. Her finally letting go and crying into his chest, him holding her so no one else could see, ughhhh. Amazing. They're idiots for even pretending that last night was a mistake, but I'll forgive them because I love them.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much!
And I know (sorry Pam). So I had mixed feelings on Jim going to Scranton right away...I wasn't sure that having him turn up right at that moment, in a state himself and when Pam was still reeling and feeling guilty, would have been the best thing - or that considerate to her family while they were also in shock/grieving. However much he wanted to. So I wrote it more with the idea that it was reasonable advice from Karen. But: I can also see why you'd want him there!
And haha, I'm glad you forgive them! They are slight idiots. It's true.
Thank you for reviewing :)
Date: January 06, 2021 07:37 am Title: Chapter 12
Oh Pam. First the thought of Karen trying to win him back and then the guilt of being with Jim while all that was happening with her Mom. Seriously, how much heartache can these two take? A lot apperently.
Great descriptions of everything. Considering this chapter I get why she'd lose focus on college and her art. So that clears up quite a bit of some of that backstory.
Also for the first time I'm not completly annoyed at Karen. She does have some good advice for Jim here.
Still feel bad for both Pam and Jim to deal with everything in this one.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! And I know, I have slightly heaped the heartache on...
I'm glad to hear that about the backstory though! And glad about Karen actually: I wasn't sure how it would come across, but I did want it be genuinely good advice, even if it wasn't Jim's first instinct/what he wanted to do in that moment. She's not totally awful all the time, lol.
Thanks for reviewing :)
Date: January 06, 2021 03:23 am Title: Chapter 11
So this was a much needed chapter to understand what is going in the heads of these two, and you have really described it well. I like how there is consonance in their misery.
Jim failing to even be around Karen is breaking my heart. And the last bit of these two talking is beautifully written-
“Jim.” The way she says it, somewhere between a warning and a plea, makes him stop. “I’m not upset about Ryan.”
THIS BROKE ME
cmon guys.
Waiting for more!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much!! And sorry for the heartbreak...there might be some more to come. But I'm pleased you're enjoying it!
Date: January 05, 2021 12:04 am Title: Chapter 11
"A commuter town that feels like a waiting room" is spot on description.
It's fascinating seeing how little Karen's act has changed since college - their relationship is still following the same sort of beats, and it still leaves Jim unhappy and browbeaten. It is notable that it's Pam who makes him draw a line here, because of course it is. And JFC - asking him to help make decisions on which of his friends and co-workers are going to get fired and doing so so casually? Hard to tell without being in her head whether she isn't noticing how upsetting this is for Jim or just doesn't care.
Yes, I saw what you did with that horizontal fun line at the beginning of the yoga scene, and I am narrowing my eyes at you. And good heavens. Pam is too self-sacrificing for her own good.
I appreciate you not putting us through a Ryan fuck-and-run-without-Pam-realizing-it scenario. Yes, Ryan, I can blame you for that, and I'm glad Pam isn't buying your bullshit.
You've written this well enough that it's just hard seeing them in pain contemplating losing each other - and the note about them watching the same show and thinking it would be more fun together is just the icing on this very sad cake.
Author's Response:
Thank you!
And ha, no offence to Stamford. I have actually been, and that was what it felt like while I was there.
In my head it's a combination of both on Karen not noticing/not caring (as in, she'd probably stop pushing if Jim really put his foot down, but she might not be happy about. I think she'd definitely care about upsetting him, but that doesn't quite rank above herself).
Hehe I can only apologise for the yoga...
And yeah, I am conscious of not trying to make Pam too self-sacrificing/saintly, as I think there's an element of that to her character but she does also know when she's had enough. And I do like Pam with a backbone.
I am greatly enjoying the idea of icing on a very sad cake.
Thanks so much for this review!
1 [Report This]Date: January 04, 2021 08:19 pm Title: Chapter 1
Why won’t he just tell her what Ryan said???
Thank you for the updates and this story altogether. It’s been the past part of my day for the last few days, even if my stone heart is breaking for Jim and Pam right now.
BlindManCassidy
Author's Response:
Thank you so much, that's really lovely to hear! :)
(Minus the heartbreak, lol. Sorry about that).
And on the not telling her what Ryan said - in my mind it's related to the general weirdness he feels around Ryan/not really knowing how to interact with someone Pam might be dating. And the fact that Jim was also being ever so slightly shady about the Stamford transfer initially (i.e. not going for it, and not telling Karen or even Pam about it), albeit for very different reasons to Ryan.
Thanks very much for continuing to review, I really appreciate it!
1 [Report This]Date: January 04, 2021 07:27 pm Title: Chapter 11
I just need to say, the depth and construction of this story are just phenomenal. The way you weave the storylines together, hinting to the past and revealing it at the perfect time...so. good. This has become one of my very favorite stories, for sure.
I’m not sure how much longer my heart can be dragged through the trenches, but rest assured...I’m here for all of it. Such an amazing story and I look forward to every update!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much, that's incredible to hear! I'm really glad you're enjoying it.
And haha there might be a few more trenches to come (sorry...)
Thanks for taking the time to leave a review, much appreciated :)
Date: January 04, 2021 06:21 pm Title: Chapter 11
So many hints to the past in this one.
“ Pam’s also not sure she could live there again, after college”
“She tries to remind herself of all the reasons she’d been unsure about living with Jim to begin with”
“She was meant to have given up on the hope of anything more a long time ago.”
“She thought she’d lose him after college. It had felt miraculous that she hadn’t.”
Btw I was practically screaming at my screen reading the conversation between Jim and Pam at the end.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I promise I will stop dragging out the mystery around the past *very* soon. (Maybe next chapter soon). And haha, sorry about that at the end...
1 [Report This]Date: January 04, 2021 05:30 pm Title: Chapter 11
For a second after reading the beginning, I thought Jim had already moved to Stamford and I was not ready for that. I'm so glad he hasn't yet. I'm so glad Pam didn't sleep with Ryan. I freaking hate that guy. I hope he leaves and that Pam breaks it off, not trying to do long distance.
also, Pam's "I'm not upset about Ryan." just about killed me. Just open your eyes, you two!!
Author's Response:
Ahaha no, I'm not quite that mean (/Jim is not quite that organised...)
And I can reassure you, Ryan is not going to be any more willing or able to do long distance in this fic than he was in the show :D
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: January 04, 2021 05:07 pm Title: Chapter 11
Still not liking Karen. She just doesn't seem to care about what Jim wants. Everything is focused on her, her plans, her ideas, her vision of the future and Jim should be feel lucky he's there for the ride. He's clearly uncomfortable and upset but it feel like she just steamrolls over that. Including forcing Jim to send that text.
You had me going with that first line about hot yoga. As if this story hasn't turned everyone into a melted puddle of goo in more ways than one by now.
So Pam doesn't really like Ryan. I mean it feels like she likes he's paying attention to her of course, but there just doesn't seem like there's any spark. Can't say I'm upset about that.
Jim and Pam end up watching the same TV show and wish they were there with each other. Seriously they need to get over their fear of each other. So an interesting chapter to be sure.
Author's Response:
Thanks very much!
Yeah, I realise I've made Karen pretty awful lol. And hehe I was enjoying the hot yoga...
I think Pam is still undecided about Ryan - but you're right, it's hard to know how much of that is her enjoying his attention vs an actual spark (which there just isn't the same way as there is with Jim).
Thank you for continuing to review, really glad you liked this chapter :)
1 [Report This]Date: January 04, 2021 05:27 am Title: Chapter 10
That gives all sorts of interesting context to the non-college stories. Jim and Pam feel so great together there, and I for one love reading that.
Though it makes me really wonder what happened in order for the non-college chapters to get where they are. Jim and Karen back together. Jim and Pam best friends and roomates, but not together.
It also explains a lot of the hesitancy of the non-college chapters. Great update.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm really glad to hear that :) And I promise details will be revealed in the coming chapters...