Date: May 01, 2021 09:00 pm Title: Chapter 19
I don't hate you. But I think I hate your Jim a little. Because he folded. Again. Without even thinking about what he's actually said. It's a very bleak S3 version of Jim (and maybe a little of when they made Athleap Jim a dick too) so it's in character--just the weakest parts.
Author's Response: Ooh so I'd not really thought as much about Athleap Jim while I was writing this...but yeah, he was a real dick at that point. He really doesn't come off great when he's cornered in an argument. And yes - I did come to the realisation that to make Jim into a version of the S1-2 Pam/Something Borrowed guy in this, I've made him pretty useless. But I think he can have some of the same tendencies as Pam on the passivity and self-delusion - I've just sort of leaned into them quite a lot here, lol.
Date: May 01, 2021 08:30 pm Title: Chapter 18
Ah that is SUCH A GOOD PRANK! So good. Also I like the tuna for Pam. Nice little switch.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! So I realised writing this that it's actually incredibly hard to come up with ingenious pranks, I have no idea how the writers on the show came up with so many. I'm really glad you enjoyed this one though! And the tuna hehe, I feel like the only way Andy could've made that more annoying would've been by making it Pam's nickname...but yeah, I'm assuming at this point that Jim is not trying to re-invent himself like he was in the show, so is happy with his ham and cheese sandwiches.
Date: May 01, 2021 08:25 pm Title: Chapter 17
O-o-o-oh Jim. Glad you're noticing your own reactions; hope you're capable of parsing them...
Author's Response: Thanks! Haha - I think it's fair to say this sort of triggers something in him, but he's not quite there yet...
Date: May 01, 2021 08:16 pm Title: Chapter 16
Another spot on chapter of character flaws.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! :)
Date: May 01, 2021 07:00 am Title: Chapter 15
I think Jim has a point here in terms of Karen always thinking that her motivations are legitimate and logical and that Jim's are not. But once again Jim is being reactive and not active in his own life, which is fairly true to Canon.
Author's Response: Thanks! And yeah, I don't think either of them come off brilliantly in this chapter - I didn't want to make Karen's frustration totally unfounded - but I think some of that is also just another sign that they're *terrible* together, and don't really have very much faith in each other.
Date: April 30, 2021 10:05 pm Title: Chapter 14
So Karen...has entirely regressed by the modern times of this fic.
I like how you made this happen in the flashbacks. It's really good storytelling. But it also highlights that Jim is way too passive about his own life.
I think both Jim and Karen are really in character here and it's impressive.
Date: April 30, 2021 10:05 pm Title: Chapter 14
So Karen...has entirely regressed by the modern times of this fic.
I like how you made this happen in the flashbacks. It's really good storytelling. But it also highlights that Jim is way too passive about his own life.
I think both Jim and Karen are really in character here and it's impressive.
Author's Response:
Thanks very much! And yep, Karen has - although in her defence, I think Jim has also regressed into giving her plenty of reasons to feel insecure and not actually doing anything about it. I'm really pleased you think they're in character here though, thank you: I was vaguely worried at points that I was making Jim a bit *too* passive in this, but it's sort of like an extended season 3 Jim that has lasted several years...
Date: April 30, 2021 10:00 pm Title: Chapter 13
Woah. That's...that's a bad day (also Pam probably has a lawsuit if PA isn't an at-will employment state, but it probably is).
Author's Response: Haha, thanks! Yeah, so I'm a bit woolly on US employment law I have to say (I'm pretty sure she would have had a case in the UK), so may have taken some liberties with that...
Date: April 30, 2021 09:52 pm Title: Chapter 12
Ok, this does a really good job of explaining some shit and does redeem Jim a bit for me from the earlier chapter. People are idiots around death. Good chapter, really good character work. Love it.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm really glad to hear that haha - and yeah, I think it's the kind of thing you're never really equipped to deal with, but especially not in college/when things are already quite confusing. I'm hoping it does at least help make more sense of why they are the way they are in the present though!
Date: April 30, 2021 09:41 pm Title: Chapter 11
I like what you're doing, but I do need to quibble with this: "He can’t quite tell her without admitting what had happened with Ed’s list."
He could totally say "Ryan went behind my back to tell Ed I'm not committed to the company" without mentioning the list at all.
But yeah...all of this character development is very good. Nice chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! That's great to hear, really glad you enjoyed the character development :) So I think you're totally right lol - in my head some of it was also just Jim being a bit irrational/not being sure how to deal with the whole Ryan situation. It's the type of thing he could tell her if he was just her friend...but is trickier when he's an interested party but can't quite admit that.
Date: April 30, 2021 09:32 pm Title: Chapter 10
I mean, I'm chill with this but very annoyed at Jim for not just being honest and going with this from here on out.
Author's Response: Haha, I think you've come back to this in a later review...but yeah, not entirely his fault. I'm not saying his handling of this is stellar though.
Date: April 30, 2021 09:24 pm Title: Chapter 9
Doubling down on disliking Ryan. And frankly, I get where Karen is coming from (this is totally reasonable) but also Jim needs to think things through before he's in Stamford with nothing he actually wants.
Author's Response: Ha, yes - I have to say that I really enjoyed the Jim/Ryan rivalry on the show, and how terrible Ryan was, so I sort of had that in mind here...it was fun to write! And yeah, I think Jim needing to think things through/get himself together probably summarises most of this fic lol. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: April 30, 2021 09:00 pm Title: Chapter 8
Well this was a lovely interlude from the angst; I mean not that there wasn't any angst but it was different. I really enjoy your version of them in college possibly because it reminds me of college students I know.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Yeah, I did want to have a bit of a break from the angst haha, and show them actually having some fun...and I really enjoyed writing the college versions of them in this, so that is really great to hear on them reminding you of actual college students!
Date: April 30, 2021 08:50 pm Title: Chapter 7
So yeah I hate Ryan. Not your version of Ryan who actually seems pretty reasonable. But show Ryan and especially anytime someone pairs Pam with Ryan. So it's high praise that I did in fact finish this chapter and enjoy it.
Author's Response: Haha, that is high praise - thanks very much! Ryan is definitely one of those characters that I love to hate: I actually found him quite hard to write, as I feel like he does have some moments on the show where he's not totally awful (which is what I was going for here), but...his awful moments are also pretty funny.
Date: April 27, 2021 04:46 am Title: Epilogue
What a wonderful way to wrap this up - going back to the past with a reminder that it will be revisited 10 years out...but still with the bits of humor they share too...
I may or may not have finished my lit paper.”
“The guy from Jaws who shot the shark?”
then in the present the way it comes full circle and they talk about the one night from the past and then think another 10 years forward - seems like they'll get what they really want this time.
This was such a well written and entertaining story. Thank you for sharing it.
Bravo!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked the Jaws line too haha. Thank you so much for taking the time to review this - I've really enjoyed reading your feedback, and I appreciate it so much :)
Date: April 26, 2021 03:59 am Title: Chapter 28
I've been reading through and didn't get a chance to stop and write a review until now.
Let me begin by going back a bit - yikes all that waiting until the right time so they could spare her feelings and then to have her find out that way - way to pile on the angst and make them both (Pam and Jim) look so much worse in fact quite the opposite they've been. I hate that Karen has so much venom for Pam - it was all their faults including her own...and that she doesn't take ownership in the follow up chapters during her rows with Jim and their more calm discussions shows she's gained nothing in perspective and will only be become like Jan (which I love how you make her become professionally - since it lines up to who she will be in her love life too).
Ha Michael here is a lot of fun in the exit interview and I love how Jim gets to stick it to Ryan before he leaves (although he may be doing him a favor - he and Kelly mfeo - and the bits about HR person nice nod - on and i like how it's Holly without ever saying it is
As for the Pam and Jim storyline - I'm glad you had her go - nice twist that it is Paris (since she is already in NY) but it makes the ending that much bigger of a "Jim Gesture". I wasn't expecting that but I did love it.(Are you a fan of SATC by chance).
Can't not mention the comic book - another canon bit that was nice to see tied in here.
Well done! A very entertaining story from start to finish...now onto the epiologue.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much! And yeah, not great timing for Jim and Pam lol...I'd like to think that Karen will eventually gain some perspective, with time. But I have some sympathy for her for not immediately being in that place when she feels like she's been cheated on/played for a fool. I think I would probably be bitter for a quite a while too. But yes - she is definitely not blameless in this.
Glad you liked the exit interview, and the Ryan/Kelly and Michael/Holly! You're right though haha, might not end up being the worst punishment in the world for Ryan...
I've actually never seen SATC! But if there are big romantic gestures in Paris then I maybe need to get watching. I did want a Jim gesture at the end - especially as I felt like making Pam the 'Jim' character earlier in the story meant she was doing more of the work. Really glad you liked the comic book too!
PS my email tells me I've got a message from you on Discord, but I seem to have disabled my account (I'm not entirely sure how...) - but just to say: YES on the heavy breathing. I have much sympathy with Karen here. Drives me crazy. But I also don't think I'm the quietest sleeper. So.
1 [Report This]Date: April 22, 2021 07:10 pm Title: Chapter 6
I mean, it's kinda expected that Jim will end up with Karen here given his later connection with her. So that angst is earned. And I just assume they all have good fakes.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I think I did write this knowing I had several more chapters of angst planned, lol. And ok, that's good to know on the fakes (at this stage I'm pretty much basing my knowledge of this on Superbad. Which may not be entirely reliable). Thanks v much for reviewing!
Date: April 22, 2021 06:22 pm Title: Chapter 5
I think this is a fair version of Karen given the change that you made to the rest of canon. And frankly, she isn't a very good girlfriend here but I'm not sure she would have been a good girlfriend to Jim in the series even without Pam.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! That's good to hear - but yeah, I agree she might not have been an ideal girlfriend for Jim in the series regardless (just maybe not as awful as she is here, lol). Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to leave feedback!
1 [Report This]Date: April 22, 2021 06:14 pm Title: Chapter 4
Aaaaaaaah. I mean, college students are like this. It fits. But also...aaaaaah.
Author's Response: Haha, thanks very much! And yeah, I figured college Pam and Jim might be even more useless than adult Pam and Jim at this...
Date: April 22, 2021 04:35 pm Title: Chapter 23
Okay Lady - you have got me on a super twisty, loop-de-loop roller coaster with my feelings about and for Karen...and Pam and Jim.
Hate her, then feel bad for her, then really hate her then feel really bad for her, then feel like she's the biggest fool (even more than Michael who hard to do here)
in that she does not see Pam as a real threat and then feel like no she can't be that self important and think that high of herself she's just being manipulative - she knows her time with Jim is numbered so she'd playing the pity card and then no back again, she really doesn't have clue.
Anyway - want to scream at Pam and Jim both for being the caring nice people they are since it comes at their own cost (but hey this is so true of them - both spent 3 years not being with each other, her because of obligation to an outgrown relationship and him becasue of his respect for that relationship). Wish they would just rip off the Karen band aid - cause like Jim says - "there’s never really going to be a right time.”
Aside from all that angst between them - the whole bit with Michael so on the nose and entertaining. I especially like how Dwight says "“Oh no. That’s my nemesis.”
Speaking of Dwight - the stockroom scene with Monkey and the realization they (Pam and Jim) are about to witness something they DO NOT WANT To unless they make some noise. All fun stuff.
Hoping the "week" goes fast".
Author's Response:
Thank you so much!
And haha, so I think I have written Karen to be pretty awful here, but: a lot of this is not helped by Jim and Pam's long-standing inability to communicate how they feel. So I did sort of feel for Karen while I was writing it too. She doesn't help herself - but there's also an element of Pam not ever putting herself forward before this, which is part of why Karen's never seen her as a threat. And Jim has basically been lying to Karen (and himself) for years, however well-intentioned.
But yeah: I agree on there never being a right time to rip the band aid off!
I'm glad you enjoyed the Michael scenes hehe, I really enjoyed writing them. And I liked the idea of Dwight and Michael competing if they didn't actually work together. I also loved writing the stockroom scene, lol. I feel trying to have secret conversations in the stockroom does carry the risk of running into a Dwight/Angela hook-up...
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: April 13, 2021 04:27 am Title: Chapter 21
Another perfect twist - with Pam telling Jim about her crush but saying she was long over it.
Glad she called him out on Athleap but even more glad with how this chapter ends. Can't wait for the next one.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much! So this scene is pretty much where I started with the idea for this fic: I wanted to sort of mix the scene from Something Borrowed where she admits to her crush from college, with a swapped Jim/Pam from The Secret. It just took me... many chapters, to get there. But I’m really glad you enjoyed it, thank you! And yes, I did feel like she needed to call him out on the Athleap lol. Get it together, Jim.
Thanks so very much for your feedback!
Date: April 13, 2021 04:23 am Title: Chapter 20
Very in character, with Pam and the drawing of the naked man - at least that part of him - I really appreciate you touching on that.
But I am happy to see her being encouraged to enroll in an art program.
Cute call to Jan and her assistant (His name happen to be Hunter? Hee Hee)
Seems Karen is finally onto Pam and who she is interested in. Never saw her as competition before perhaps well bad on you Karen.
I still find this Isabel Hysterical - Stab Karen with a fork - not a crime...
Love seeing Michael here and very funny that Jan had given his about half hour before he will do/say something that will make her have to send him home. The conversation with Ryan is too good.
Great twist to get thme up to the roof - and with champagne instead of grilled cheese or pizza - love it.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much! And glad you enjoyed Pam and her drawing, haha. I can confirm Hunter may be the name of Jan’s assistant 😏 I always sort of liked the idea in canon of Pam and Hunter both being assistants to slightly crazy people, and was sad they never interacted...
I had a lot of fun writing Isabel in this (and her not very subtle hatred of Karen) so really pleased you liked it!
And yeah, I did want a bit of Michael lol. Although I’d say even half an hour is generous, knowing Michael.
Thank you so much for reviewing!
Date: April 12, 2021 06:29 am Title: Chapter 19
So what do you have against ED Sheeran? Things I felt in this chapter- Karen really has to lighten up - Jim's line about threesomes was funny, too bad she's too uptight to find the humor there.
Athlead (or Athleap, here) - wow you are managing to get it all in here and still in such a natural way - I like that a lot.
Jim and Karen, they are not a good fit...especially since she is so insecure (yes, I read her as insecure which is why she acts they way she does, not sure if you intend it that way but in my experience most bullies lash out as a defense mechanism and Karen here certainly acts like a bully, a very possessive bully). Not that I feel bad for her because she is just so mean, even to Jim who she is supposed to love.
You've really reversed the Pam and Jim roles here by having Jim stay with her so long - that's just genius.
Author's Response:
Hahaha, I'm sorry. I can't stand him. I know he has many fans though. I think I might like him more if they played him a bit less...hearing Shape Of You in every single bar, every single time I turned on the TV, and on every radio station for months was the final nail in the coffin for me. And there was genuinely a period where Thinking Out Loud was the first dance at *every* wedding I went to.
I'm really glad you liked the Athleap though, and the threesome line lol. And no, that's exactly how I meant for Karen to come across on the insecurity, so I'm really pleased she did! I wrote it with the idea that her behaviour gets worse the more insecure she's feeling. There's a reason she was at her nicest when she a) wasn't in a relationship with Jim, and b) when Pam wasn't around. And at this particular point in the story, she's had weeks of Jim living in Stamford with her acting like he doesn't really want to be there, plus a couple of small hints that Pam might maybe like Jim a bit too much. But yes, still not really acceptable behaviour...
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to review!
1 [Report This]Date: April 12, 2021 06:17 am Title: Chapter 18
I am so enjoying this story - it really is its own unique tale and yet hitting on so many elements we know and love from the show we love.
The way you've role-reversed so much is a fun twist. I noticed a lot here in this chapter - Pam's bored, Pam pretending not to know how to use copier, Pam being the one to want to prank Dwight and Andy. However, having Andy call her Tuna, that's just wrong (JK, it was actually pretty funny but I do hope it doesn't stick, not a pretty nickname for a girl).
Fun stuff that you've brought over the Call of Duty game and the prank was just genius - all the stuff...Dwight's reaction to the unicorn was classic Dwight.
Pam still very perceptive in knowing what was happening between Dwight and Angela and you've got me viscerally hating on Karen (but I guess that is the point).
So much good stuff.
Author's Response:
Ah, thank you so much! :) I'm really glad you're enjoying the role reversal, it was a lot of fun to write. I have to admit that I may slightly have stolen the video game idea from a prank I played on my brother when were were younger (which I thought was hilarious, but he...didn't). It turns out it's actually very hard to come up with original Jim-level prank ideas though, so I have no idea how the show did so many. And haha, I apologise for the visceral Karen hate...
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: March 28, 2021 04:01 pm Title: Chapter 11
Poor Pam. First Danny and then Ryan and all she wants is Jim who somehow is still with that capital B. (In the show I didn think she was so bad but the way you've written her she is).
This chapter started out with a great line. Commuter town ...pretending. Yeah there's a lot of reasons I thin Jim prefers Scranton. Just wish he'd realize.
I could so see this whole story playing out as a movie from the way it is framed and written. Love what you are doing.
Author's Response:
Ha agreed - I was a fan of Karen in the show. I think I've done her a pretty big disservice here...she's not really like this on the show at all. (I just needed a terrible girlfriend for Jim, and was a bit too lazy too invent a whole new character). And lol yes, no offence to Stamford.
That's so amazing to hear, and really kind of you to say - I'm really glad you're enjoying it! Thanks so much for reviewing :)