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“Things haven’t gotten better” is a really good opening line.

I love the choice to embrace the reality of them probably having spent a painfully awkward week or two around each other post-Casino Night, having to live with the pain of losing Jim and looking it right in the face. (I share the headcanon of Jim just being gone the next day, but this is a lot more realistic.) I also like the idea that she was *fine* with Roy, and might’ve been fine for a long time if Jim didn’t make her question it.

This is a brutal picture of Roy. This is not how you handle minor conflict with your clearly upset about something partner, dude.

The scene in front of Jim’s house is killer – feels like a totally plausible way Casino Night could have ended, too. It’s a lovely picture of a pretty messed up hook-up, hot but too marked by grief to be anything other than tragic. “She feels wetness on her cheeks but she’s not sure if it’s from her tears or his and either way she doesn’t care” is a good line, and “She tells herself that her car starting on the first try is a sign that she's doing the right thing by leaving” is *very* Pam.

You did really well capturing Jim’s confusion and angst and how unsettled he is about Pam’s sudden visit in Stamford, and the way he’d actually kinda like to say no. And there were some really good lines here, too: “Those same five words he said to her in that parking lot back in May are on the tip of his tongue, but he keeps them there. He captures her lips with his instead, afraid they might spill out if he doesn’t distract himself.”

I thought the way you ended up structuring this works – they keep having trouble because they just won’t *talk* and ultimately what happens is that they manage to break through their barriers together as soon as they do. You did a good job planting in the earlier seeds that they’re deliberately choosing not to say things they should mid-hookup.

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Aw, this was really cute! Would’ve killed me if they put it in the show (not the sex, of course). I can sympathize with Jim on worrying about being rejected, so you have your guard up, but that backfired on him badly. If Pam just wanted someone to sleep with, she could’ve gone to any bar that ever existed.

Still, I’m glad they ended up together, and that he and Karen broke up when he admitted that he had feelings for Pam; I never understood that bit in the show. If my girlfriend had admitted she *still* had feelings for a different girl, my trust issues would take over and we would break up immediately.

Overall, I liked this story a lot. And I love your username.

BlindManCassidy

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Oh my gosh this. Was. Perfect. So angsty with twists to canon that feel real. I absolutely adored this.

You are such a great angsty fic writer!

I was so emotional when she decided she was going to go visit him. I wish that had actually happened because if totalyl would have been fancy new beesly taking a stand.

Then Karen and Jim break up and now both Pam and Jim are scared of the future, but take the plunge? Incredible.

I loveddddd this!

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“Are you going to let me kiss you again?”
“Yes.”

KILL ME DEAD.

Ughhhh you know this already, but I love this concept and the complicating feelings and implications and I LOVE the idea of Pam going back for one more goodbye. It HURTS.

I also love the wall building metaphor and that as much as Jim wants it all to happen and has for years, he can’t trust that it’s actually happening and guards his poor lil heart. That scene where she leaves absolutely broke me.

And *then* the ended was SO good. The self recognition that they are idiots is hilarious and perfect and I loved it so much.

I love you for breaking my heart and writing this and sharing it with me. :) It was amazing.

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Insert the sound of my heart breaking, getting put back together with some glue, that breaking, duct tape this time, that getting set on fire, and wondering when it will ever end. I mean just everything they went through with this one. Gah!

Phenomenal writing through all of it. Their fear, heartache, desire, it all rings true. I'll admit you really had me going right up till the end there. Thank you for the nice ending. Made it all mostly worthwhile.