Date: November 12, 2021 12:24 pm Title: dorothea
DC, just fuck me right on up with this oh my GOD
This line: “Time is a funny thing. The way it can hold you in its palm, make all of your senses keenly aware of their surroundings - the driver shouting at Jim, Jim staring at her with an intensity that rivals the neediness in the way her name falls so simply from his lips, the smell of tires on hot asphalt - without really knowing exactly what’s happening in the moment.” Oh my god, beautiful. I gasped.
I just love that you wrote them finding themselves, taking chances and doing things that are good for them as individuals and not them as *them,* you know? Like. They’re fully formed and they got there independently of each other and that is so gorgeous.
This is a hard song to tackle and you did it so well. But then, did we ever have any other expectations other than you absolutely knocking it out of the park? No. No, we did not.
Date: November 04, 2021 06:23 pm Title: happiness II
She held her camera at her waist, looking down at the upside-down reflection in the viewfinder of the scene in front of her before carefully squeezing the release of the shutter.
"Why do you like taking pictures?" Please tell me why this tiny exchange and the description of her taking photos made me tear up
“She realized that that was what they did now, saying things without saying them, benign statements that served as the hidden language of their subversion.” What I would like to know is who the hell gave you the right
I swear to god I have butterflies. BUTTERFLIES. At this speakeasy scene and their kiss. This is so perfect.
Okay I know The Great Gatsby is sad and everything but I laughed out loud at “I was expecting you to tell me you had run over someone with your car.”
“He was a study of contradictions: dangerous safety, forbidden desire, beautiful disaster.” Oh this is so perfect. It’s art.
The scene where she goes to Jim after Roy hurt her is so breathtakingly aching and beautiful. I can see it so clearly, happening exactly like that. Her “I don’t need rescuing” hurt me.
He’s sorry he didn’t go to the art show. Oh, my god. That made me sit back in my chair and put a hand on my heart. Jim is so sweet and good and that really got me. And then you freaking follow it up with them in Jim’s apartment together and him wanting to say and she’s saying that she can’t and I am full on crying.
The way I GASPED when Jim told on Roy!!!!!! I didn’t see it coming. Masterful.
Okay but thank god they’re covering the pool I was kind of worried.
I am full on crying at this. I know I said that already but JFC, lady. I knew, because of the Gatsby inspiration, that it probably wouldn’t end well. And that is fine, because life is sad sometimes and happy endings don’t always come right away. But my god did that punch me in the stomach in the absolute best way. This was incredible. Absolutely incredible. To think that we get to read your writing, that you put it out here for us to take in with our eyeballs for FREE when the entire world should be reveling in your talent??? I can’t grasp it. We are so lucky you are here.
Date: November 04, 2021 05:42 pm Title: happiness I
“If he was lucky, those sands wouldn't slip through his fingers. He tended to not be lucky, however.”
Oh, my god. Oh my god. This is so perfect and a hell of an opening.
Obsessed with Isabel. Absolutely obsessed.
Uh. Jim boxing? BOXING? Hi I need a bonus scene. With Pam, and sweaty boxing, and just…bored, please, I literally never ask for anything so just give me this
“The ring had slipped remarkably easy off her finger, a defiant and conscious decision, after asking the staff to buy new sheets for her bed. Again.” Oh my GOD the punch this packs. How do you do this? This is so much heavy emotion in just a handful of words and it took my breath away.
Oh Jesus. Him trying to work on the stain!!!!!!
“He only knew her first name and yet it was as if his soul recognized hers in some twisted alignment of the stars.” Oh my god AGAIN with these beautiful lines that have so much packed into them. You are so intentional with your words and I am continually and will for ever be so impressed with that. It is such a talent, to pick simple tiny words from the ether and put them together in a way that conveys so much emotion and want and just-are you a wizard? No, you’re just incredibly talented.
“She glanced over at him, her head still tilted skyward, with a look that was frighteningly profound and it caused him to nervously shove his hands in his pockets. She was lovely in a way that snuck up on a man.” Oh, my heart. My heart.
“If Roy did happen to be present, it was a covert game of lingering meaningful glances and fascinated hushed laughs where the only two players pretended not to notice the other and yet somehow managed to ignore everyone else.” The way you so succinctly and beautifully and perfectly summed up three seasons of television in one sentence
Oh, this fireworks scene. Oh, oh oh. I don’t even have words for this. Oh what a perfect ending to a perfect part one.
1 [Report This]Date: October 30, 2021 09:23 am Title: happiness II
I've been a longtime lurker on this site but have never posted a review because a) I'm very shy, b) I'm not the best at putting my thoughts into words, and c) I am ashamed to say that I failed to realize how important reviews are to writers (wow I feel really dumb). Then I saw your response to another review on this story where you said that this story was your biggest flop. Biggest flop? You couldn't be more wrong - this story is a triumph.
I feel like I just enjoyed a 12 course meal of all of my favourite foods. Taylor Swift + JAM + The Great Gatsby = a recipe made in heaven. Happiness is already one of my favourite tracks off of evermore and you made me enjoy it even more (how is this possible??) I love how rich your descriptions are, how you worked in canon moments, and that beautiful ambiguous ending... It's like I'm standing at a fork in the road where I can see each path that Pam could take so clearly. We are not worthy of your writing.
I hope you never ever stop writing cause you have a gift that needs to be shared. Seriously, I bet your grocery lists could win Pulitzers.
Author's Response: I wish you could see the huge smile on my face from reading your review because it really did make my day. Thank you, seriously, from the bottom of my heart for taking the time so let me know you loved it. I covet each and every review and yours is no different so thank you.
Date: October 29, 2021 05:03 am Title: happiness II
And damn, I'd run out of jellybeans too
Date: October 29, 2021 05:02 am Title: happiness II
subtle SPOILERS below for review-first readers. Go Back and read - I promise - you need to.
Lady...this was so rich (and don't mean in the opulent sense but I'm digging on my unintended pun)
and so brave (to not give us the happy ending but yet so right in how it aligns Jim to the character he was subtly written to be and his tragic ending) those words she uttered must have been like death to him...that is so well done.
and so loud - and by that I mean I could hear Pam and Jim through your words, few others do it so well and can create an AU version of them and still allow me to hear the characters as I read.
I'm glad I've been to Newport and could put them exactly where you intended but even if I hadn't been your story would have taken me there.
I come for the Soft shell crab - wink
So the photography scene - you know how I feel about it - how I love it not only because of the connection to you but as I read it again I got another thing out of it - OMG the documentary - slip to the edges and capture the real - to create art, something beautiful in the ordinary - Invisibility like those behind the cameras - OMG genius!
"I don't want to let go. Do you want me to let go?" Crush me why don't you - and even though it's Pam it made me think/hear "I'm not drunk. Are you drunk? in the tone.
"You're drunk," she said in a small voice like an uncommitted sin.
"You're beautiful," he countered, and the world kept spinning.
Still thinking of this scene and the blush that would have come over Pam's face.
I was expecting you to tell me you had run over someone with your car. - double wink. You. like TS are a master at subtlety.
OK, if I didn't hate Roy enough after the darkroom scene I wanted him dead. He was probably too stupid to know how the light would destroy her art but all the rest was just cruelty and abuse.
The breakroom scene from boys and girls, um, I mean the scene where she comes to Jim after Roy has banished Isabel, destroyed her photography and crushed her heart and wrist, well I love how you can create a whole other world and then call up a scene from the show with a few lines.
"Well, that's the way of it, isn't it? If you neglect something long enough it disappears." - and he is too stupid to know it - but that Jim thinks this will truly happen is even more heartbreaking when we reach the ending.
"I'm really sorry I didn't come to your art show," I truly loved how it worked this in.
Now comes the big Jim gesture (a lot more here than what he ever did on the show but still as impulsive and reckless) and filled with more winks:
-It was quite a humiliating step for him to seek an arrangement with 'new money' across the Sound
-she doesn't like dancing
-You two are good eggs
"It's a dangerous business," he mused unaffected into the remains of his drink.
"Especially when you are married to the woman my brother wants." - this was amazing.
Ah but the plan didn't go as intended - and as just as Roy found out he also won - because Pam was still Pam - she still felt tied to the convention of what was expected, the notion of what was proper in society (at least that was how I read it) and took Roy's face and plead as an apology even if he never once uttered I'm sorry (the equivalent in my head of a tickle instead of contrition)
Pam hesitated as she stood in the middle, invisible tethers tying her to opposite ends of the parlor, to opposite men, and to opposite futures. His long-standing confidence in the surety of her feelings began to fade as she looked at Roy and then looked at him, the storm of indecision clearly visible behind the green eyes that contained all he ever wanted.
The biggest wink (at least to me) were those words and not because they were exactly what she said on the show - but because they were surely like death to him.
Oh Bored - This Was SO good.
I didn't even get into the way you write here - but I can't even describe that anyway.
Besides everything else I said -
'OMG this is brilliant' - wink
Author's Response: Here’s the thing, (and I know you know this also being a writer) as calm and collected as we writers try to come across, we live for feedback. Especially on pieces that you pour so much into. It feels validating in a way far beyond just writing.
Date: October 27, 2021 08:06 pm Title: happiness II
The thing I’ve been thinking about since the last chapter is what an incredible slow burn you’ve created here. Like, as I’m getting back into the second part; we’re still barely into the slow burn, and it’s killing me in the very best of ways.
Pete’s the true MVP here, with his (okay, for mostly selfish reasons) sending Roy away so that Pam can go with them to Newport. I love that set up a lot.
Hey, these beach scenes? “Charm and humor go a long way in concealing the truth in you.” What even is this line? How do you define the very essence of Jim Halpert in 13 words? That’s incredible.
Honorable mentions for lines during the second beach scene go to:
-The contrasting cold water on the sun-kissed heat of his skin was intoxicating and a dangerous desire began to pool heavy inside her.
-“I don’t want to let go. Do you want me to let go?”
Oops. I really liked Pete until he ruined this moment.
-There was supposed to be a rhythm to their dancing, he was sure of it, he just couldn’t exactly remember the steps so they just swayed. You know what? You’ve very rude with how masterfully you incorporate these little easter eggs the way that you do. But don’t ever stop, okay? I also really love the parallel between a speakeasy and Casino Night – intended or not, this was a very good choice to make.
Also this? “She and Isabel lounged leisurely on the deck, soaking in the intense sun and making suggestive comments, all while watching the Halpert brothers expertly navigate the boom and mainsail.” It’s. So. Good.
And the whole scene in Pam’s bedroom when they get back? It’s all giving me Wildest Dreams feels and I wouldn’t be mad at all if we got another glimpse of these two completely based around that song. Just saying.
I have to laugh at Roy’s dislike of Isabel, considering his own behaviors. The complexity you give these characters with so few words – again – I don’t know how you do this so freaking well.
“I’m just saying that, officially, I shouldn’t be here.” “And I’m just telling you that, officially, I don’t care.” I love this exchange a whole lot.
Also? I want more of Pete, Jim, and Roy trading veiled insults and threats across a table. That’s just a really great scene and again, how do we make this a movie?
“I’m really sorry I didn’t come to your art show.” Oh. It’s fine. I’m fine.
“It’s 1923. People get divorces all the time.” I don’t know why, this line made me giggle. A lot.
Jim setting Roy up was a plot point I didn’t see coming and actually gasped at. And it’s so perfect? And I’m not mad at him at all and Roy had it coming and between this and Aeternum; can you always just write period pieces that pit these two men against each other? Please and thank you.
Hey, let’s have a chat about this ending. I know you, and I know *you* probably have a very good idea of who Pam is saying “I can’t” to, but here’s the thing: I’m scared to ask. I desperately want to know, but again – I think maybe that I don’t.
And this really is the beauty of your writing, you know? In less than 20,000 words you made me run a marathon of emotions and while I’m a bit exhausted from the shenanigans of these two (in only the best of ways) I still want more. I’m not ready to be done with Gatsby Jim and Pam ruining me and/or possibly each other. I especially want them to ruin Roy. And I need Pete and Isabel to have a happy ending.
What I’m asking is – sequel? Pretty please?
Author's Response: Okay so, there are reviews and then there are *reviews.* This one falls into the latter. I wish I could express what it means when someone really appreciates and loves something that you pour your heart and soul into but then again you probably already know. And when all you want to do is delete everything and run, this sort of thing keeps you hanging in there a little bit longer.
1 [Report This]Date: October 27, 2021 04:40 am Title: happiness II
Wow wow wow. That ending though gahhh!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Sorry about that ending. :)
1 [Report This]Date: October 26, 2021 08:28 pm Title: happiness II
Magnificent. Everything was just magnificent. The setting, the characters, the feelings. Just a masterpiece. The ambiguous ending though? Every single one of the feels. I have my own headcannon for how the rest plays out but that's me. Just wonderful with everything here.
Author's Response: Aww, thank you for the wonderful comments! I appreciate them so much! Masterpiece is such high praise that I’m not sure I deserve. Thank you!
1 [Report This]Date: October 26, 2021 08:26 pm Title: happiness I
Another Masterpiece.
I am the one writing a time travel story but you are the one who brought us back in time through the magic of your words.
The subtlety which tied 'her' song to the famous story was mirrored in the way you tied theirs to it to and all the little hints of it were so artfully placed.
Yet it screamed of the characters.
Speaking of screaming, I hate him, even more when you paint him and it made me more than a little angry that he had the fortune he did. But his callous cheating and then challenging her with it, daring her to leave – Argghh.
I loved the amalgamation you made here of Pam and Isabel to create that third character with bits like this ... pulled everyone in her path beneath its undertow and her attention made Pam feel as if she was the most important person in the world.
The haircut felt very symbolic, not only as a sign of the time, but as a symbol of rebellion, just like a post breakup haircut or naval piercing or tattoo. A response to the pig’s cheating perhaps? But in true Pam fashion, concerns of what he would think couldn’t be banished from her thoughts. The envy of Isabel’s daring nature also very true to her form.
I’m a terrible dancer – wink.
Green dress – double wink.
And if you didn’t have me hating Roy enough, between the woman he has at the party under her nose and the pushing her down the stairs, he is just deplorable.
No matter what decade it is seems these two would find their way up to the roof. How perfect here that it’s a widows’s walk.
And have to mention this line ...What she hadn't wanted to consider that night on that crowded dance floor under the summertime gibbous moon, was that his glancing touch had stirred more in her than a kiss from her husband ever had...beautiful.
So good so far. Can’t wait to get to the second half.
Author's Response: Oh wow, masterpiece is such high praise, thank you! I feel like if nothing else I have succeeded as a writer that I made you feel such strong Roy-hate. I love that you picked up on the subtleties of Pam I tried to place that made her character fee true as well as all the little canon things.
Date: October 26, 2021 08:02 pm Title: happiness I
Oh Bored. I’ve read this twice already today and I’m going to probably read it twice a day every day this week because I know I’m never going to get tired of this absolutely incredible world that you’ve built for our two favorite idiots.
I still don’t know how you do it. This entire thing feels like a movie. How do we make this a movie?
A list of things in this chapter that I’m never going to stop thinking about:
The immediate use of wildest dreams.
Passive-aggressive Pam leaving the bedroom door open after catching Roy and the blonde.
ISABEL. Just… Isabel. She’s so delightful from scene one. This may be my favorite version of her ever.
Jim in the boxing ring. Jim. In. The. Boxing. Ring.
“Reminiscent of all her plans, that second tall strong fizzy drink she had been working on spilled all down her glittering sequined blue dress in wasted potential.” – Cool cool cool. But also, how dare you? (Also also – I know this is likely a callback to her Casino Night dress but I keep picturing a version of the sequined dress Taylor wears at the end of the Reputation tour when singing This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things and it works just as well.)
-Isabel again. Whether she’s just making naughty insinuations about Jim or telling him Pam’s entire backstory – she’s a damn ray of sunshine in this story and I would go to a Halpert party with her anytime.
-“Embarrassment gave way to shock that turn burned down into righteous indignation. He tossed the keys up into his other hand and suddenly felt a lot less guilty.” This is one of those seemingly random visuals you add to your stories that I will inevitably spend way too much time thinking about.
-“In a wager against fate of perhaps because of it, she became acutely aware that his hand was at his side dangerously close to hers and she was drawn to the heat of it knowing it would burn her. She lifted her finger, so slight it was a small twitch of muscle until it brushed against his and she held her breath at the contact. His large, warm fingers didn’t hesitate as they wrapped around hers at the unspoken invitation and she swore his thumb stroked lightly against her heated skin.” Listen. You know what you did here and I know what you did here and I hope you’re pleased with yourself.
Honestly, how are you so good at this? It’s seriously not fair how easy you make this look. This entire set up is so perfectly done, and honestly, only you and Taylor could have me feeling so Gatsby right now and I’m not even a little bit mad about it.
Author's Response: Listen, your reviews always delight me in so many ways and I LOVE hearing about the parts you loved. It seriously makes my day. Thank you so so much, truly.
1 [Report This]Date: October 26, 2021 07:56 pm Title: happiness I
So in news that shocks no one, I really hate this version of Roy. Clearly he doesn't care about Pam at all. Not even trying to hide the fact he's not faithful to her. Belittling her when she tries to show some backbone. And the rumor of the stairs? Yeah, I'm 100% with Isabel's assessment.
Really fun seeing Jim and Pam in this setting. They have all the money in the world. Seeming everything they could ever want, except happiness. That is until they met each other and started down this path of theirs. Onto the next chapter to find out where we go from here.
Date: October 26, 2021 05:39 pm Title: happiness II
This may be as kind and attentive as Pete has been to Jim in any fanfic I've read here at the beginning. Pity he couldn't keep it up throughout the fic.
You took them to The Breakers? Okay. Well. That's just perfect. As is Jim coming to Rhode Island for the soft-shelled crab and the beaches. I love this scene with Pam and the camera. Just lovely.
"I don't want to let go. Do you want me to let go?" BE STILL MY BEATING HEART. Seriously, just such a lovely cinematic moment here. And the bar scene! The swaying! "You're drunk/you're beautiful." This is just captivating. You really show off your ear for dialogue throughout this chapter.
"I was expecting you to tell me you had run over someone with your car." I see what you did there. You in general did a really good job translating the rhythms of pre-Casino Night Jim and Pam into this universe - this is AU, but very much Jam.
The image of Pam in the darkroom and Roy boorishly storming in and ruining the pictures is a powerful metaphor. And also... really ominous. You did well laying the groundwork for both happy and unhappy endings here.
I caught the implication that Jim was going to buy her displayed photos, but still squealed in unmanly fashion. Such a distinct contrast with Roy's clear contempt for her artistic endeavors. And what a way to bring "I'm sorry I didn't go to your art show" into this.
And the ending I can only assume means you intend to turn this into another long-form saga, right?
RIGHT?
Author's Response: Yes, do you know the Breakers? I used to live in Newport and loved it.
Date: October 26, 2021 05:25 pm Title: happiness II
Ma’am.
You know those stories that are so beautiful and wonderful and maybe even a favorite but you cant read it again for a long time because it hurts too much? Yeah this just got added to that list. I know I just told you to never stop but also maybe just stop a little bit so I can have time to process this beauty and heartbreak. Will never not be in awe of you.
Author's Response: Listen, I always love to hear your thoughts and I hope it wasn’t too terribly painful. Thank you as always for your way too generous praise. :)
1 [Report This]Date: October 26, 2021 03:47 pm Title: happiness I
Gonna read part two now but if its “better” than this one like you say it is, I might just die. I dont mind, though. Your way of writing never ceases to amaze me. Its elegant and beautiful and really shouldnt be legal but also never stop. Im also adoring all of the references to both the show and Taylor.
Date: October 26, 2021 03:16 pm Title: happiness I
Not going to lie: I was sold on this the moment you went from the phrase "beautiful fool" to referencing the prosperity of the 1920s spilling around them like bathtub gin. If we can't get an update to Aeternum, a Gatsby-style AU historical JAM fic from you is a worthy substitute. I thought you took good advantage of the historical context here - the way Roy puts to use a new sexual openness to Pam's detriment, the way doors have cracked open enough for women to give Pam new avenues as an artist but not enough to make her truly independent, the ostentatious wealth and the opportunities and dangers of Prohibition.
"A lover who belonged to someone else but owned him entirely." That's just hurtful.
Roy as Pete's partner in illegal, mob-provoking enterprises seems like a fine idea which will have absolutely no negative repercussions for anyone. *sweats nervously* He is really belligerently terrible in this piece, lording every scrap of power he has over Pam. Very nervous about him.
"There never appeared to be a pattern in his proclivities, instead one varied as much as the next one that he often wondered if his brother was sampling exotic cheeses from a platter or choosing a date." This sentence greatly amuses me. And "a covert game of lingering meaningful glances and fascinated hushed laughs where the only two players pretended not to notice the other and yet somehow managed to ignore everyone else" is among the Jammiest sentences to ever Jam.
You did terrific work with the fireworks scene at the end. Very easy to visualize, deeply romantic, and making it not a Big Kiss but just a moment of understanding of their connection was a strong choice. The subtle recasting of the "you can tell me anything" moment to be more explicit in acknowledgement of their dangerous steps towards an affair was a good use of canon.
1 [Report This]Date: October 26, 2021 03:13 pm Title: happiness II
Beautifully written and very vivid of its era. I could imagine their dialogue being just as you've written it. Nicely done.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, grc! I’m thrilled you enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to read and review.
1 [Report This]Date: October 26, 2021 04:25 am Title: no body, no crime
Considering the warning on this chapter I didn't expect it to be so fun (hope it was supposed to be - or am I just reading it wrong).
The whole read was so entertaining and the perfect mix of song and them - the slowly developing relationship screaming with their delightful banter and that chemistry from the moment Jim steps into the room.
Things that just tickled me - Mose's Scarecrow theft,
the suburban pyramid parties (Katy as rep for thirtyone was perfection) - you nailed that whole section and Phyllis absolutely hosted them all - even the Pure Romance, especially the Pure Romance.
OH and the Murder Podcast line- “Show me an elder millennial who doesn’t.” - ding ding ding (for the record - gen x too).
In truth all the easter eggs delighted me - throwing things in the quarry, no more dipping into party planning budget - cake Pops for Cops had to happen).
The epilogue(s) killed - from the Mevin Kalone and on (actually from the beginning of them but I had to mention that line).
What a great read! Bravo.
1 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2021 03:19 am Title: no body, no crime
Yay!!! So happy this story is back and what a chapter!! Can’t wait for the next one
1 [Report This]Date: October 21, 2021 10:10 am Title: no body, no crime
Oh. My. Gahhhhhhh I live for this story. WHAT A RIDE. Gold medals *makes Jim flinging arm motions*
1 [Report This]Date: October 20, 2021 07:19 pm Title: no body, no crime
Honestly, how am I even supposed to review this? Why are you like this? You already know how much I love every detail… the ride or die energy… the disdain for wine tasting in Carbondale. I still can’t even wrap my head around all of the Easter eggs! I'm just bummed there's only one chapter of this world you've so cleverly crafted.
1 [Report This]Date: October 20, 2021 06:38 pm Title: willow
Wow Detective Halpert, just wow. What a great story and the epilogue is amazing! I can just imagine Jim in a detective outfit… 🔥🔥🔥
Date: October 20, 2021 05:01 pm Title: no body, no crime
So this made me feel all the things. Sadness for Kelly for being in the position she was in. Rage at Ryan for well everything. Quite impressed that Pam and Karen were devious enough to plan everything out. Relief that Jim was actually taking Pam seriously, first about Kelly and then about Ryan.
Delightfully wicked slow burn for Jim and Pam for this one. It took awhile, but the sparks were there from the off. Even without a direct bedroom scene between them you could just tell how things would have been.
The epilogue killed me. Each explaining how they knew most of what the other had done. Well done.
1 [Report This]Date: October 20, 2021 03:49 pm Title: no body, no crime
I truly, TRULY, truly do not have words for this. I am absolutely blown away. I cannot handle how this made me feel and how perfect it is, literally every single tiny detail. Coley, how
I just
I can’t HANDLE THIS
Date: October 20, 2021 02:09 pm Title: no body, no crime
You know my thoughts already but I would like to highlight the ways you made my Wednesday infinitely better:
Wine tasting in Carbondale. The audacity.
Gorgeous and unruly dark hair popping into the room and then this "Jealousy looks really good on the already handsome detective. Almost as good as the rolled-up sleeves of the button-down he’s still wearing despite the late hour of the day."
Cookies and Cocoa for Christ Christmas Party
Emily Blunt and 'that weird indie movie that everyone thought was going to give her some sort of legitimate actress cred' followed closely by her co-star that she made out with that is in all those dirty book movies
Danny
Danny and tequila
Danny and tequila and Karen
Mevin Kalone
the entire Epilogue
Anyway, this was perfection and I'm sure I'll be back later with more delightful parts I adore after I reread it a dozen more times.