1 [Report This]Date: February 15, 2021 08:41 pm Title: Lost
So I like the way you had their history reflected in Jim's thoughts during this moment. I feel like there was a little too little consideration of their journey in this storyline in Season 9 where it really should've had clear reverberations, and you corrected for that some. The idea, for instance, that Jim still has some fear of losing her, and still vividly knows what that's like was a really good addition here, and also the idea that Pam would see this relationship as increasingly reminiscent of the one she fled and how painful that would be for both of them to recognize.
I also thought the imagery of Jim picturing Pam in another life in the future was haunting. You could really feel how awful that was for him... again in particular because he has a lot of experience imagining and watching it happen.
Author's Response: Now that you mention it, I wish I'd included something about Pam going to art school and that one comment Roy made to show how Jim's insecurities about Pam never completely left him. Anyways, I appreciate the review! You said everything that I wanted to capture in this oneshot/chapter. Thanks again!
1 [Report This]Date: February 15, 2021 06:02 am Title: Lost
Wow! This was a really good look into his thought process there. To have all those swirling emotions, memories, and visions of the future blasting around was pretty intense. In a good way that is. Really shows the kind of things he was dealing with there towards the end of S9. Also really shows why with her just calling his name and giving him the umbrella he finally turns back to the one thing that really matters.
I would LOVE to get Pam's POV on everything leading up to this one. Especially what's going through her mind before she hugs him back. She always has this really shocked expression on her face. I'd love to read your take on what's going through her mind right then.
This scene is one of the most powerful JAM scense in the entire show and you've done it justice. Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you very much, Warrior! Season 9 was a rollercoaster and this was me making sense of it. I'm glad it turned out okay!
Date: February 14, 2021 11:33 pm Title: Lost
Wow. This is so good, I love it. It would be great if you do the same for POV of Pam.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'll definitely try and finish the Pam POV soon.