1 [Report This]Date: February 25, 2021 04:03 pm Title: Chapter 2 - What was the question ?
Great way to get into Pam's mindset here. The only thing she can think about is him and how the finally have the timing right. A brief journey back down memory lane to times of angst, but that pales in comparison to the high she's riding. Very much felt like the rest of the day passed in a flash while she was watching Jim. Loved that even staring at his back, she's got his feelings and moods down pat. Clearly she is still very in tune with him and that's great to see.
A couple typos here and there, but nothing that makes it so you don't know what you're talking about so not really a bit deal.
Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your feedback.
yeah I am still working on getting the format right and the typos too.
And thank you for reflecting back on my chapter, how it was more towards the excitement of Pam than the agony. You were so spot on in stating that her current focus was just Jim at the moment. Your review made me feel like I am able to deliver at least some of what I had in mind. Thank you again:)
keep showering your love. It’s really helping my confidence.
Date: February 25, 2021 02:06 pm Title: Chapter 2 - What was the question ?
I always was felt that there were two Jim’s.
Stamford Jim and Scranton Jim.
Karen was with Stamford Jim.
That Jim was cold, heartless and pretentious.
Scranton Jim was the guy that Pam loved,
and who was friends with those in the office.
So I believe that when Pam thinks that Jim is back, and Michael said the same thing,
it’s Scranton Jim they are referring to.
Author's Response: Spot on ! My thoughts were the same. How Jim didn’t have the same warmth and goofiness of years prior. Something was definitely amiss.
1 [Report This]Date: February 23, 2021 11:19 am Title: Chapter 1 - It's a Date
Hello and welcome.
Congratulations on posting your first story. As a somewhat newbie myself I can relate to how much courage it takes to post for the first time.
I love to get all the takes on the missing scenes around season 3-4. I think you did a good job getting at what Jim would have been going through. Happy as he was he was finally going for and getting the woman he truly loved, he was surely wracked with guilt over all that went down with Karen. You did a good job portraying that.
I’m glad to your Karen did not let him off the hook.
I’m looking forward to seeing if your Pam has any concerns about Karen or guilt. But more so looking forward to her reaction now that Jim has chosen her.
One suggestion in the format that you add an extra line drop between ideas and particularly spoken dialogue.
Once again welcome and good job.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much. You are so right, it was quite a big leap for me. I am a big fan of missing scenes too, hence I chose this topic to try out my imagination.
I am so glad you liked my version of Karen. I always felt that she did get the shorter end of the stick, and well Jim deserved some of the flak if not too much of it. And thank you for noticing and sharing your suggestion regarding format. I am definitely gonna be mindful of that for future chapters. I am actually having a hard time regarding formatting of pasting them here, because its not coming exactly how i wrote them in my word file. I am working on figuring that out.
Thanks again for your time and kindness.
1 [Report This]Date: February 23, 2021 11:05 am Title: Chapter 1 - It's a Date
I think the choice of subject matter here is a good one. Jim treats Karen pretty atrociously in canon, and while it doesn't stop us from rooting for him, I think it's good for our sense of his character to see him aware of it and feeling guilty for it as opposed to skipping right by it on the highway to his happy ending.
Congrats on posting your first story! Welcome to the ranks of MTT writers.
Author's Response:
Thank you. I am so glad you liked my version of Jim, wracked in his own guilt. I was not sure how I was gonna build more into that but your words gave me just the right push to dwell more into the feelings of his.
Thank you for the warm welcome. Looking forward to more of your precious encouragement !
1 [Report This]Date: February 22, 2021 08:35 pm Title: Chapter 1 - It's a Date
This was an interesting start to a new story.
I have to admit that I’m with Karen here because he did continue to use her and shove their relationship into Pam’s face even after beach day. Jim did them both wrong, which is why I was not a fan of him in season 3.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your review. I felt that too regarding Karen’s part. Jim did tag her along and he did break heart(s). Season 3 was not his brightest time for sure.
1 [Report This]Date: February 22, 2021 07:53 pm Title: Chapter 1 - It's a Date
First of all welcome to writing. It can be intimidating to post your first story so well done in that regard.
I like Jim's thoughts here. Everything that's gone on in Season 3 was a huge whirlwind of a lot of confusing emotions. I think it's 100% realistic that even after Pam has said yes to the date that there would still be a lot of those spinning around. So great job getting into his headspace there.
The breakup scene with Karen also seemed realistic. Clearly Karen knew there was something going on, but to find out that Jim is choosing Pam over her I'm sure would hurt. Especially if like Karen says here it's been a week since Pam's declaration and until now Jim has still been choosing Karen.
Really looking forward to your take on Pam's headspace. Great job so far. Keep it up.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your generous words. Coming from you is such an honour since I am such a big fan of your work.
I have read and re-read your stories so many times. I feel so encouraged that someone as good as you found my work something worth reading and reviewing.
Thanks again for your time and I am gonna look forward to your kindness for my future chapters:)