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Beautiful story. Really hard subject, but your writing made it so compelling. Thank you

Author's Response: Thank you so much.  This was my first foray into the angst-driven story.  I usually write fluffier.  I'm so pleased that you enjoyed reading it.  Thanks for reaching out. It's always so nice to hear from fellow MTTers.   

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Ahh, this was such a perfect ending 😍 I really liked both of them coming to the realisation at the same time, the 'I'm waiting on a sunset line' was just perfection, and then the entire scene in the park with the sunset, and the re-working of some of the lines from canon, all worked so beautifully. I also loved the description of their different kisses. I think I'm with you here that they both made mistakes/had things to learn - I think you've captured that in this fic so well, in a way that feels very realistic and touching. I loved all of this!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much - I'm so glad you liked the ending. Like I said -it kind of was the ending the show had for them - I just sped it along a bit and so why not use the canon dialogue.

There were 3 elements that were in place from the minute I started working on this story and one of them was how it would end with them watching the sunset. The line came soon after - way before the final chapter was written - I love that it stood out for you. 

The kisses part was also one of the parts I really liked writing- especially since I got to reference the questionable real first kiss...yes in my mind it counts.

 I'm so happy you were along for the journey of this story. Always thrills me to hear when readers enjoy what was in my head.

Cheers! 

1

"I'm waiting on a sunset." If that's not just the perfect line for all of this, I don't know what is. Seriously, that one line was just perfection.

Jim's thoughts as he waited for her were really nice to see. How he's really realized that nothing is more important that her and his family. He realized how close he was to losing it and how he'll do anything to hold onto it now. Lovely.

Pam being surprised he's not in Philly was kind of nice. It gave us that wonderful set up in the park as well as some time for her to clear her head too.

I kind of liked how you shifted things to a centered layout when they're at the park. After all this time being apart, it was a nice cue that they're finally together. Also it was kind of fun to have a role reversal of the parking lot hug. Pam is the one to start and it take Jim a second to catch up. Great was to stay on theme, but give it your own touch.

Speaking of that, it really feels like they're finally on the same page again. I'm sure there will be more conversations to be had. The wounds they've inflicted on each other took time to get there, and they'll take time to heal, but this is a big way of going down that path of healing. Hopefully a few 'nice mornings too,' so soothe things over. ;)

Great way to wrap this one up. It was really interesting getting their internal thoughts out like this. It showed that yes they had issues, but they're also strong enought to work through them. Great job.

Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat

Author's Response:

Thanks - I've never achieved perfection in a fic before - really you are too kind.

You got it  - you knew exactly what my intention was in the change to the format. I knew you would!

Yeah, I wanted to include the hug but it wasn't going to work in the original format. I also felt like in the show while it was beautiful and I loved it and as I mention it was all part of the bigger plot device, but to me it seemed just not quite enough to fix it all (I guess that all happened off camera) so I added the line to speak to that.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. 

Thanks as always. 

1

Catching up with reviews - love love love this chapter, so much heart in this with Pam's description of why she fell in love with Jim and why she still loves him.

Author's Response: Thank you as always.  The journals entries were some of the harder bits to write so I’m so please you enjoyed them. 

1

Oof this story is killing me, but in a really good way! I love the deeper dive into their therapy sessions here, particularly the part about it feeling unnatural for them to thank each other for all the small things they always do (I always thought on the show that that must have been weird), and the glimpse into Jim’s feelings about the documentary which I agree the show definitely skimped out on! I can 100% see Jim feeling like this. And then Pam’s journal entry about all the times Jim has supported and challenged her was so lovely. (I also loved the moment in the show when Jim drops to his knee to speak to her, so I’m really glad you included it here). And then argh the ending to this chapter!

Author's Response:

I'm so pleased you have been affected by this story.

Yes, I've got to think that it would have been quite awkward - I think the show spoke to that, I maybe just took it a step further. That and around this time when they were finding out just how much of their lives was caught by the doc crew I was thinking might be more on their minds as they struggled through this crisis. 

The exercise of the journal I think really got them looking inward and helped open their eyes to things that maybe they'd forgotten, taken for granted or got lost in the heat of their arguments.

Ughh that Jim gravel in that scen - how could I not. I watched that scene closely a bunch of times to get it right...their eye contact or lack of was painful.

The ending - sorry to put you through it.

Thanks for your words. Always great to hear from you. 

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I’ve been so terrible about reading and reviewing on MTT lately (or for a while), so I am trying to best to play catch up! I love that you are tackling the hard job of writing a season 9 fic, and lady I think you are doing an excellent job.

Season 9 is so difficult. Any of us who have been in a long term relationship or marriage know how easily things can start to break down if you don’t constantly communicate and keep each other abreast of how you are feeling. And it’s not easy to be honest and vulnerable, even with the person you love the most and have built a life with. I think that you’ve done an excellent job with showing that through their internal monologues, the letters and assignments, the small ways they try to reach out to each other while still dancing around the big hard discussions because they are big and hard. And you’re doing it with some really lovely moments and imagery; I especially love the bits about sunrise and sunset.

I know a lot of people have a lot of feelings about season 9 and the arc that it took Jim and Pam on. I don’t think we can say “Pam’s a selfish bitch” without ending that sentence with “and so was Jim,” because that is the truth. Jim was uncommunicative and secretive and Pam was uncommunicative and scared, and it brought out the worst in both of them. I don’t think it’s fair to paint Jim as the good guy in season 9 (and you didn’t, but I’m a bit hot under the collar about another review you’ve received) because working full time, single parenting, and wondering if your relationship is going to fall apart isn’t easy and wanting to keep your family intact isn’t selfish. Especially when there are clear instances of Jim having an absolute blast in Philadelphia without checking in on Pam or the kids and not attempting to put herself in her shoes. The thing about season 9 is that they both make awful decisions and it isn’t until towards the end of the season that they look at the issue as “us vs the problem” and not “me vs you.” But I shouldn’t take something that someone who thinks that having the thought process of an artist means you can’t understand how a fictional start up works says seriously.

Anyway my own feelings about your other reviews aside, I think you are doing an excellent job with a heavy subject. Jim and Pam both feel in character and easy to sympathize with, and we see how events like this in a marriage can be so hard to reconcile. I look forward to seeing how you take us through along the rest of their rocky path and back into the sunshine.

Author's Response:

Hello BT-  

First off thanks for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I said it before and will repeat it again, I never thought I'd be writing a season 9 fic but once I was inspired to, it kinda took over. I originally thought this would be a one-shot and not a multi-chapter.

Season 9 was difficult because of the Pam and Jim arc but as someone who has been married for long enough to know it wasn't without truth and realism. As I said, marriage is work - it needs to be cared for, even if you are soul mates, especially if you are soul mates. And we know sometimes these 2 forget to communicate - thinking they know everything the other might be thinking (this is shown in the Roy's Wedding episode). I know you agree there.

It was not my intention to show either side as right or wrong, and like you say they needed to stop looking at it from a me vs you and get to the heart of the problem. And that took some soul searching and outside help. Some thinking about their own history and remembering how they felt when all they wanted was each other and there was an obstacle in the way. I'm glad you feel I've been able to show both of them coming to realize where they made mistakes and how to get back. I'm so please you liked the sunrise/sunset parts. I was very into writing those. Where I live we get some unbelievable sunrises/sunsets and that was a vision I wanted to bring to life - plus there was the symbolism I hope came across. 

I think the show (by the nature of it being a sitcom) glossed over some of the journey to get there and that was what I hoped to bring out a bit more. I loved the hug and the flashback to the wedding but I did feel that alone was just a first step. However in a sitcom it's hard to get at what might have been in their heads and pleased you feel that is coming across and in their voices.

Without saying too much (as it will be said when I'm done), there was something in the timing. 

Once again I want to thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. It's truly one of the things I love most about this community, the way in which we can connect through shared love of reading, writing and Jam.

Hope you enjoy the ending. 

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I think you've done well here getting at the complexities of a conflict that's intractable between two people who aren't good at conflict and are so in love they had never really conceived of the idea that they could find themselves in an intractable conflict.

I thought the water metaphor worked here, explaining how relationships are supposed to work and their anger and the way it all comes in fits and starts. The problem is that unlike with water, there's no objective view of how far the tide is in or out, and they're both making judgments on how high the sea can rise again based on their own perception.

I thought the way they're resistant to the therapeutic tools rang true. They're definitely going to take time to feel natural, and there's going to be a strong instinct to reject them. (I thought the detail of Jim being more worried about their bills and their financial future seemed right as well - it certainly puts his desire to break out from Dunder Mifflin in a different conflict.)

Obviously I love that you're digging into the way the cameras are impacting them here, and the way they're actively changing the story they document. (One of the things that ticked me off about Season 9 was that they had this HUGE card to play in making the documentary real, and they decided to utilize it in the most boring, unnecessary way possible. Grrrr.) It's especially interesting seeing JIM reacting to that, which I don't think we get in canon at all until the finale.

I liked Pam's journal entry a lot. A good sense of the history they're coming from at this juncture.

Oooof. Painful ending - not only do we lose out on the umbrella, we see the small gestures that have brought them together before all of a sudden aren't working for them, and they really don't know how to deal with that.

You're right, I'm not a season 9 fan, partially because I had enough angst with Jam, thank you very much, partially because I think it relies on both of them acting kind of out of character and partially because of Brian and partially because I don't think it connects well with the history of their relationship... so, a lot of reasons. But one thing I've discovered is that my issues with the execution of Season 9 do tend to loan themselves well to good fic, so I'm glad you're doing this.

Author's Response:

I'm with you - season 9 was tough - sure all marriages can have problems, but I can't really give away my issues with what was going on without spoiling the story -but I will say these 2 have bad timing.

See this is what I love about your reviews - how you take an idea and expound on it - and written so well it should be added to the story. (the tides).

Yes, it seems like they were playing at the exercises in the show - they were coming from a real place but you could tell how hard they were - that's why I added the journals - I thought this would help them get at their truths a bit more. (plus we know from OL what a big journaler JF was). Sometimes things come out better when you can write them down.

You know me and how my Jim is very AWARE of those cameras - after all I think he was the most aware of them on the show. I took the opportunity that the promos were airing to have them realize just how much they caught and just how much it was shaping things - including their current conflict. 

Always so thrilled to get your reviews and appreciate the time you take to share your thoughts.

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This is such an insightful take of all of the complicated and nuanced emotions both of them were feeling at that time. Marriage is work, even the best of marriages, and I think you perfectly captured that here. I really loved the journal entry too! Fabulous job.

Author's Response:

I struggled through that journal entry, searching for Pam's voice and what she might be thinking back on. I'm so pleased you mentioned it. I feel like maybe I got close.

Writing this story had me rewatching my wedding video and thinking back on everything from then until now. We agree on that - marriage only works when you work at it. But the rewards are so worth it.

Thanks again for reading and sharing what you thought. Always a thrill to get reviews.

The umbrella paragraph starting with "He picked up the umbrella that he purposely left at the end of the desk so he wouldn’t forget it again..." is one of the loveliest bits of layering I've ever read. Good onya

Author's Response:

Ah yes, the umbrella - if only he'd left the umbrella instead of a gold circle and a pink note....(I'm responding to this and the review you wrote after this - the one where I kicked you in the gut)....

But thank you - wrote and rewrote that section I can't tell you how many times...I knew what I wanted to get across in my head and heart but wasn't sure how to translate it to words so I'm glad it worked for you.

Thanks for the words and onya- always appreciate your insights and reactions.

1

Honoured to get a mention (thank you!) but I did nothing really! I really love how you’re writing this.

Love hurts sometimes. You are so realistic in how this is playing out. The imagery and allusions are spot on, and again, we can feel the pain, but also the hope of two people who really love each other but have disconnected. And that happens in adult relationships sometimes, even the best ones.

Communication is an evolving process and you are really showing how they are trying to make that journey to attempt to reconnect. Sometimes it’s successful and sometimes not. But what I love most about this (I’m so naughty starting sentences with ‘but’ and ‘and’!) is the love they have for each each other is shining out like a beacon. And I LOVED that you really examined Pam’s character traits. They are so well considered. Jim seems to recognise that but he also recognises his own needs and right now there is a clash of goals. And this is what makes it all such a balancing act.

I say this as someone who has been (happily) with my husband for over two decades - anyone who says relationships / marriage is easy all the time, is lying. One has to work at it, sometimes there is miscommunication, or no communication, a lot of it is about understanding the other person, what drives them and their character traits so you bring out the best in each other, for each other. One doesn’t always get it right but it’s about thinking before acting and understanding motives (usually good motives in healthy relationships, just the execution can be poor.)

I think for the most of what we saw play out on screen over 6 seasons of their being together, they managed that (and I believe it was a lesson they took with them to Austin) but in this period for them they did lose their way with each other because they stopped communicating.

Gosh, that turned into a critique of marriage counselling!

This wasn’t tough to read at all because that’s what I took from this chapter. It is beautiful and hopeful. I hope we get a happy ending!

Author's Response:

First off - It helps more than you know to have an opinion when certain lines are giving you pause so yes a mention is warranted.

I think we long time marrieds can really appreciate what was happening between them during season 9 and what it takes in a marriage to keep it strong sometimes. Life is always rosy and love as powerful as it is won't fix all the problems that can arise, especially when communication breaks down (and we know these two have a tendency to go inward sometimes). I have a feeling you will love the next chapter based on the things you've said here and I can't wait to get your reaction to that one.

I'm so glad it's coming across that no matter how hard the problems are now, it is not from lack of love for each other. If anything it is the opposite. It's that deep love they have for each other that is actually making it so much harder. Kinda what Brian had said about his and Alyssa - when they stopped fighting they realized they no longer cared. 

I'm really chuffed (hope I'm using this right) to get such praise from you for this one. Knowing that readers (no matter how many or few) are resonating with what I write is so uplifting. So thanks so so much for being so present for this one.

1

I really like this concept, and I'm glad you're exploring it. Much as I was ready for this story to end, the ending is a little pat. You've done well here making these little wake-up call moments just that... little moments, not guaranteed to set them back on the path to where they want to be. They're in a serious conflict, and finding their way out of it isn't going to be easy.

I really liked the repurposing of their new tradition in Beets on The Trees and Christmas in their Hearts - partially just because I enjoyed it in the first place, and you did good work demonstrating in a subtle way how far off the same page they are in the different things Pam throwing out the yogurt lid signifies to each of them.

As someone who finds both of their actions in Season 9 a little OOC, I like the work you've done here grounding Pam's fear of change in specific events in their recent history... it adds some context to how Fancy New Beesly and her willingness to shake up their lives has gotten to this point.

This is pretty painful to read, given the job you've done drawing out how they keep enmeshing themselves even further in the trap they're caught in. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it.

Author's Response:

I guess you could say I've become a little obsessive over these yogurt lids - so much so that I'm tempted to buy then when I go grocery shopping and truth be told I abhor yogurt (except the frozen kind that with all the sugar added it no longer could be consider yogurt) so I'm glad you are enjoying it, even if it's painful to read. 

I agree that there was something troublesome in how they acted in Season 9 or was it that we never really saw them in conflict before and let's face it no matter how much in love you are there's bound to be a little in any relationship - maybe we just weren't used to it. But I also feel like there was so much more to be said about what was happening there that needed to be explored.

You know just how many things I am working on- that this story (not my usual fluffy happy kind) rose to the top of my slush pile you know it had to get inside of me...I heard that song Gold and it just got into my gut. I know you're not a music guy (at least within the context of fics) but it's such a gorgeous song.

Thanks for the insights and reactions  -love to get your reviews.

New chapter up very soon. 

Thanks as always for all the support. 

Who, not whom, sorry. *facepalms*

Author's Response: You crack me up - but I also cringe when I typo in a review since you cannot go back and edit them.