You know, it has not occurred to me before, but the conversation where Jim said he was going to pass on Athlead is actually another "first date/Jim's transfer/calling off the wedding" moment where something huge and decisively important to the plot happens totally offscreen. I can't decide if this is better or worse than if Jim had actually sat down and had a Conversation with Pam about it that he went back on, but it definitely seems in character that he didn't really push it in spite of its importance and Pam ignored the nagging sense in her mind that it was more important to him than he was letting on.

Did not think we'd get a Cathy flashback in this story! Definitely something that desperately called for some fleshing out, and I appreciate Pam needling him a little bit about not being the kind of guy who puts his foot down when it might upset people. I love the detail of the charged moment of figuring out where Philip is awake or not. And the calls-forward here sting - Pam telling him about something Cece said and him being excited? The "Beesly!" she never got? Oooof.

You did well humanizing Nellie's cartoonishness without sacrificing her essential Nellie-ness, here. "I'm still deciding/that's fair" was a great exchange.

I kinda wanna know who Pam thinks is affair quality for Jim now. But more importantly: I thought you handled her thought process here well. You root this moment in their history (which is one of my biggest beefs with the writing in Season 9) and who these folks are, and you properly position Pam as someone who is saying she's okay with it when she really, really doesn't mean it. The blow-up over the money comes across as sort of inevitable here - Jim having taken from this that Pam will go along, Pam containing rather than expressing her upset. And you can see how it sours her on the project in its entirety, putting her not wanting to move to Philadelphia and digging her heels in in a different light down the line. REALLY nice work.

Author's Response: Thank you! It’s interesting, I thought that convo could go a couple different ways, but at the end of the day, the idea everything started with a miscommunication felt right to me. I really don’t think Jim would have taken the job if he felt Pam was/ would be adamantly against it, but I do think he might take advantage of what he interpreted as ambivalence. They were both at fault for this miscommunication but also both being the worst/ weakest versions of themselves from the start, which just absolutely unraveled. Ugh.

Correction - threefold use of title - since it is also the name of the song that played

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I think one of my favorite things about this chapter was the double play of the title. It's was the perfect tie together of the flash back and the present.

All of th metal pictures they spoke of were delightful fun. The sweetness of how he will continue to call her Beesley, the way she explains Michaels behavior to him (love that she gets him to be able to and you know I'm a slight sucker for the Pam/Michael relationship). Love what he says to Jim the night before

It's perfect That the producers and camera people saw it all before them and know how strong the bond is.

This line tickled me I’ve only ever showed off for you. The cameras just happened to be there.” PBS was lucky Pam was there because they would never had gotten even half the performance out of him had she no been.
Laughed out loud about the painting looking at them and lovely to end with Cece and Stanley. Oh and btw- there are some names we are never to mention in bed.

Well done as always. Wish I had some jelly beans left to give you.

I loved this. The flashback, the wedding night. All so beautifully written. You also captured the moment that the being we now know to be Cece kicked in a well observed moment.

JK had flu and didn’t want to pass it on to JF. Is that right? Says a lot of about their friendship and his thoughtfulness, very sweet. They still managed to make it look ridiculously cute.

Okay, so I may have mentioned, I've got a personal hobbyhorse about the impact of the documentary on this story, so I really love what you did with this chapter, exploring the ways in which it's changed their behavior and maybe the course of their story and their attitudes towards it and how they've changed. It's *really* interesting to think of the documentary as a factor in forcing Pam to acknowledge what was going on with her and Jim, especially knowing how she reacts in the first two seasons when someone else seems to notice their connection.

You also did well capturing the sheer giddiness and strangeness of them finally having reached this point in their journey - you've captured the Niagara vibe well.

And there are a lot of fun details you've worked into this: the inappropriate mental picture, the painting, Pam's understanding of Michael and ability to make Jim understand him. Plus Jim's line about writing a very strongly worded letter is peak Jim.

Author's Response: Thanks! The documentary crew is going to continue to have a strong presence in the story so I’m glad you’re enjoying that angle. 

Awwwww, this was delightful. The thrill of finding out the news was really on point. I can remember a lot of similar feelings when we found out about my first kid.

The flashback to mini-golf was also a ton of fun. I really like that even though they've known each other for years, there's still things they're finding out about each other. Add to the fact the wonderfully adorable cuteness of Jim helping her with her follow through. Also I noticed the order of those balls going in the hole. Pink first then blue. Nicely done.

Back to the present and yeah, seeing the first picture of the kid is always a lovely experience. Also kind of makes sense Jim would have a bit of a freakout moment. It's a big thing that's happening to them. However Pam is right there with him. Loved it.

There's a lot of touches here I really like. The details are just great - Dwight tracking his co-workers' cycles, them nostalgically going back to the same mini-golf course where they got the pencil, the head kiss, the Blue Angels reference... and I love the way you've negotiated the early moments of their relationship, and this tension between how new it is and also how they've both been in it mentally for so long and they're both far surer than the average couple on the second date that they're in it for good. And their banter is just adorable. They feel very Jim-and-Pam here - both in the golf game and as the couple who high-five over getting knocked up.

"Pam asks the question casually, as if he hasn’t pictured having kids with her for years. As if any child he’d ever had the presence of mind to imagine hadn’t been a perfect amalgamation of the two of them, together." Lovely.

Also appreciate you acknowledging how they feel about the cameras capturing this private moment, especially given how early it is in the pregnancy.

And framing Jim's Season 6 storyline explicitly as a reaction to this moment is great, and probably something they should have included more of in canon.

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You really bring such insight through these chapters. There is an artistry in the way you attach 2 seemingly unrelated scenes and tie them together that makes these chapte so so much
More than the sum of their parts.

Not to mention the way you write this is just lovey too.

Now I happen to love the Michael/Pam relationship. I think what they have is very special. (I've written about it too)

Really enjoyed getting your take on it through both time periods of the story.

Once again, I love love love this WIP.

Author's Response: Oh please link me to your favorite Michael/Pam stories! And I'm glad you enjoyed that... Michael will be pretty integral to the fic. Thanks for reading!

This update was so funny and sweet and clever and I am dying. First of all, Kevin's line “So does that mean… tomorrow, it’s okay for us to talk about Pam again?” made me BURST out laughing. That was hilarious and should have been a joke on the show.

The flashback was brilliant as always, but I really loved Pam's realization right before she quits. "It’s as if her body is moving without her brain’s permission; as if the rational part of her got sent to voicemail." That is SUCH an awesome metaphor. I'm really impressed, haha.

Your characterization of Michael throughout the chapter and especially at the end was so hilarious and spot-on. I want to watch DVDs with Michael now.

Author's Response: Thanks especially for your comment about the characterization of Michael! Means a lot coming from you :) 

This was really sweet. I really like the idea that Jim went all out for this last trip he took down to New York to be with her. Even more, is the way you can tell Pam's already unsure about how things are going to turn out at Pratt. Clearly she knows she's not doing well, but she's also hiding that so she and Jim can have a nice evening.

The flashback was a nice touch too. Even though it was back in the Jim-is-pining-for-Pam days, it was a super cute moment. You really set the scene nice that this is where Jim and Pam go from just friends at work, to starting out to be more akin to best friends. He sees her, she understands that and is apprciative of it. Could be the first time since she's left college that someone has said something nice about her artwork so of course she would be touched. Also loved the call back line of "don't forget us when you're famous." Consideirng how well Jim remembers this scene, it's a no brainer now that that line would get him to come home from his interview in "The Job." Phenominal use of that line.

Going back to their date, Jim reads her right. He backs off and just sits back to enjoy being with her. Nice touch. Glad to see an update for this one.

This. Was. So. Good. I’m so upset that I don’t have more jellybeans but imagine a whole bunch from me for this particular chapter.

Here were some moments that I really liked:

“You’ve thought about it?”
“Yeah, but I don’t really have to think about it.”
Soooo good.

“Are they actually a good match, or is Roy just a bullet point on Pam’s to-do list?”
That was just so brilliant and insightful. Very true to the Pam/Roy dynamic.

“Well, don’t forget us when you’re famous.”
Grinning, he straightens up and looks into her eyes. “I couldn’t,” he says, his lips falling into an easy smile.
Listen. I know I comment all the time on how you weave canon and headcanons together so well, but like—this was insanely good. I didn’t know how much I needed more backstory to the yogurt lid note until right now.

“She shifts in her seat a bit in an attempt, be it purposefully or inadvertently, to break the spell.
He doesn’t want to let the moment end, even though she’s clearly trying to, so he remains silent and just watches her sketch.”
MY FUCKING HEART
It’s okay, I didn’t need a reliable cardiovascular system.

And finally: “Dreams don’t have to be big to be dreams.”
LOVED THIS

Ok so this one left me a delightful pile of mush. Your ability to go past the show and more into the non-seen moments is on full display here. Her feeling bummed out about her classes and missing Jim. The flashback where they're honest with each other. And of course the rain-soaked gas station are all just so beautiful. The thoughts and feelings going through her head through everything are a joy to read. Thank you for this one, it was great!

Ran out of jellybeans! Fantastic chapter for my shipper heart. Great work, really enjoying these.

Author's Response: thank you so much! sorry, i’ve been crap at replying to these but I really appreciate the feedback!