I do wish it was Jim of course, but that's coming from an unapologetic JAM shipper and one who always loves a good Pam or Jim find their courage early AU fic. But I get the fact they can't all be like that.

Anyway, nice for Pam to get some more perspective here. It's really starting to sink in that she's just not looking forward to this wedding. Because those thoughts are bouncing around she's also starting to figure out that Roy isn't the guy for her. Yes, it's a slow process, but that's also early season Pam. It takes her a while to get out of her comfort zone but it's also not impossible. That's what I'm seeing here.

Well, if writing for The Office can help build up honesty and courage, the creators have done their jobs. And we get more Honesty and Courage along with it.

I feel like you captured the right note with Phyllis here - half trying to cheer on her ship and half just kind of being a jerk because she can. And Meredith's tendency to bury pathos under her oversharing is great.

Author's Response: Thank You !! I felt Meredith was quite a misunderstood character. Despite of how she was treated, or how she was, she just won my heart in season 9 and I felt that she deserves more respect than what she gets.

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Really enjoying all the Pam insight in this story. Had to stop and point out the line “It’s like she is marrying herself.” because wow that slapped. It seems like exactly what Pam would need to realize to wake up and dump Roy. Nice work!

Love the Penny voice here, and I think this is an important insight about the interconnections that would have formed between Pam and Roy's family - after ten years, they may as well be her family already. Not to mention the sheer amount of history between them spending so much of their formative years together. I think you're correctly identifying that that would be a weight on Pam.

Dear Lorde this Roy is awful though. What a jerk!

Author's Response:

Exactly. One can't wipe history of a relationship which involves two families by just saying you don't want to be together. There are people concerned and feelings involved and that complicates things way more. 

Thanks for liking my Penny. I didn't want to make her come across as someone who doesn't care about Pam's emotions but she was young and naive since she has lived away and doesn't know much how her sister has been feeling lately.  

Interesting response from Pam's mom...with what she might already know but I see from your response to another review there may be more to come on that.

But I can also see it as Helene's wedding probably had a parallel similarity in the way it wasn't maybe everything she had always dreamed it would be but "good enough" and I liked how her pep talk was centered around the family they built and not so much about the love between her and her husband ... that seems about right knowing where there marriage winds up.

Glad Pam still has her doubts. Listen to them Pam.

Author's Response:

Thank you Maxine for picking up on that. I am from India, and that particular part about marriage centered around "Family" is something which has been very important element in our culture. This unfortunately, has been reason of many unhappy marriages but also have strengthened many weak bonds. 

Either way, it may not be the best approach to look at marriage, without focusing on individuals involved in the relationship. Pam is getting there I am sure, thanks for sticking with her through this. 

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So you had me at the Voldemort but and I don’t think it’s any big secret why. According to my head canon Roy has never read the books (or any for that matter) and not all that into the movies. Jim on other hand, they could talk HP for hours.

Good job with the rest too. Is she starting to realize how wrong the man who can’t make a phone call for *their* wedding is?

Hope so.

Author's Response:

See I didn't even think that it could be canon too, Roy not understanding Voldemort reference. He was sort of an ignorant one for sure. She is indeed beginning to realize that things are not that perfect but we are waiting for that final push. I guess it would come sooner than later now.  Only a week to her wedding and lot needs to be done.

I find this chapter curious. Especially considering Pam called Helene on Casino Night. Now it's kind of up to personal interpretation if Pam told her mom that she was in love with Jim rather than Roy at that moment. Point is, clearly Helene knows Pam has had some serious issues recently. Probably more than just cold feet the day or two before the wedding.

The other big thing is that Pam feels very alone in this one. She's having doubts but no one is truly listening to her. Not Helene, Penny, or Roy. The one person who would listen to her is gone. It really puts her into a low point mentally.

The other thing is that Pam's family seem to see the surface level things. To them Roy takes care of Pam fine. However the truth is that Roy only takes care of Pam for selfish reasons rather than out of love for her. Same with the wedding. Feels more like it's going forward due to obligation rather than real love. I can almost hear the red flags snapping in the wind.

Nice work getting into Pam's headspace there.

Author's Response:

Thank you @warrior4 for picking that up about Helene. There will indeed be some more explanation coming up in future chapter regarding that part. Also, with Helene and how her marriage ended, I somehow felt that she also didn't have a very objective understanding of how happy marriages work for real.

 Thank you for liking Pam's headspace. I truly felt that Pam didn't have the support she needed in those days to clear head and think things through. That's why she called it off few days before instead of sooner. There are all these red flags and we just have wait until she picks them up.

Once again I appreciate your time and feedback. Cheers ! 

She's getting closer to figuring things out that's for sure. However, she's still trying to cling to the last vestiges of her relationship with Roy. Kind of heartbreaking to see in a way. She wants to be with a man who takes care of her, takes interest in her, a guy who will listen to her and be there for her. Roy might have been that guy once upon a time, but clearly he's not anymore. For him to tell her "it's just a day thing," about their wedding and to insult her mother's cooking should have been the biggest of red flags there. Something tells me he's going to "forget" to get even the simple task she's set for him done. Hopefully she'll be able to get some perspective at her family's house.

I also liked the actual conversation Pam was having with Roy rather than just narration about it. You had a good voice for both of them there.

Looking forward to more.

Author's Response:

Warrior4, you are spot on once again. Roy and Pam were great together at some point but she grew up in a different person and he just didn’t realize. Thank you for mentioning that you liked the conversation with dialogues than narration. You already know how hard that this is, but I am trying to work on my skills to reduce narration.

thank you for your encouragement, like always:) 

Feels like she's getting more perspective on things. What she wants, what she's settling for, that kind of thing. I get why she'd have some anger at Jim here. He did abandon her after dropping two huge bombs on her life. Roy is Roy. It's really going to hit him out of the blue when she calls off the wedding. Though it really shouldn't. Nice job.

Author's Response:

It definitely is. I think before Ro, it's going to hit Pam because she is pretty oblivious herself. There are little things but she is too resistant to admit. She is getting there though.

Thank you for staying with her through this :) 

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Oh I'm always here for a good idiot Roy. And this is prime: ignoring and unaware in spades.

Author's Response: Oh Yeah Totally. Roy was super ignorant. It's really interesting that not only them, but the people with them don't realize it too. 

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I enjoyed the quick throwback to Pam's perspective on Jim's absence in The Carpet - feels like we get a lot of what he thinks in fic from that episode and not a lot of hers. And that felt accurate to Pam at that point in the story - aware that something was wrong but it never really occurs to her that that's meaningful.

The ham-and-cheese sandwiches for dinner is a nice little detail. Oh, Pam. Your subconscious is trying to tell you something, hun. Also enjoyed that brief moment of Pam being comforted by knowing her way around Roy and his predictability before being reminded at all she's sacrificing for it.

I thought this was an effective sort of slow build towards Pam realizing what she wants to do about the wedding. It feels true to her character and to what we know about the timeline in canon.

Author's Response:

I am so glad you liked it. I wrote it so briefly but it pleases me that you caught it and enjoyed that part. It is so rewarding to know when your reader takes time to not only indulge in your work but also makes it a point to share those little parts they liked. Ham-and -cheese part was my personal favorite. It is like being on autopilot, you just do things you don't even realize until you do :)

It is indeed going to be a super slow build so I hope you keep finding it interesting. Thank you so much for taking out time and reviewing. Appreciate it deeply, like always :) 

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This feels accurate to how she must have been feeling after Casino Night. The only thing I'd have is that depending on how you read it, Pam admitted to her mom that she was in love with Jim before they kissed. Which of course being so close to the wedding with Roy would probably add another level of guilt to her.

However the feeling of numbness and shock came across well. Her defaulting to something familiar like a prank also rings true for me as well. All in all not bad. Looking forward to seeing your take on Pam during this time.

Author's Response:

Thank you for your precious words. You are so right about the subjective interpretation of Pam’s Phonecall with her mom. I always felt that her mom did not make deep observation but perhaps just a slight nudge. Pam may not have been very receptive with total confrontation, but again that’s just how I see her.

I am glad you liked the prank part. I do feel that it must be life changing to lose a friend without a warning and yet you can’t complain.