1 [Report This]Date: October 25, 2021 05:15 pm Title: Chapter Eleven
So...that happened. I mean, holy hell. First of all amazing writing to get all those complicated emotions out and at the same time being so descriptive of the scene. The feeling of this is what they've wanted for forever and at the same time they're still haunted by the specter of the past was interwoven so well. At least they can think the words to themselves now. Frustratingly wicked in that they're still having a hard time saying it to each other though. Just wow.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I was a little nervous about this one so I really appreciate this.
Date: October 25, 2021 11:25 am Title: Chapter Ten
Wasn’t expecting a Pam POV from the party but was happy to get it.
Very curious to see how all the things Michael is recording are going to come back into play.
Ahhhh Jim and Pam are both free agents again. Now the fact that they have different philosophies on what it takes to rebound (3rd date activities even when not feeling it in the heart), that seems troublesome.
The tribute worked really well here.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Date: October 23, 2021 06:28 am Title: Chapter Nine
Yeah the weekend...that means getting caught up reading, writing and reviewing.
First stop, here. Another great chapter but man these two - open your freaking eyes and stop fooling yourself with Katy and Danny Fucking Cordray (since that is his proper name).
At least Jim took care of his end with Katy (in a well placed mash-up of WHMS and Booze Cruise episode. Now I did notice some reallocated lines - when Michael talks about the long story to get together instead of it being him and Holly - it's Jim and Pam, nice reassignment. As was the "I hope this guy deserves you" last heard at least in sentiment by Pam's mom. All the ties back to situations and lines from the show and movie were really well done. I'm so glad you managed to get in the Pictionary - clearly paints these two as in sync with each other but also so I could crack up over the “Oh, but ‘Soup Snakes’ is sweeping the nation.
Baby Fish Mouth anyone?
Great job again - ready to see what's in store in the next chapter.
Author's Response: Haha Soup Snakes as Baby Fish Mouth was one of the first things I thought of when putting this story together. Glad you liked it!
Date: October 22, 2021 03:14 pm Title: Chapter Ten
OH COME ON!!!!!
(This was really, really good. And the path is now clear... it is clear now, right?)
Author's Response: Okay, okay. The path is clear. (But we aren't out of the woods yet, I'm afraid.) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
1 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2021 01:01 pm Title: Chapter Ten
Over the moon seeing another chapter up! This was a little painful, they are so in tune with each other, so in love with each other, but they're like two parallel lines, no matter how close together they are they will never intersect. Hopefully they're not as straight as they seem.
The roof scene was beautiful. I adore how you write all of these characters.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! And while we still have a ways to go, there will be some *ahem* intersection very soon... ;)
1 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2021 11:52 am Title: Chapter Ten
So Danny and Pam also breakup that same night. Jim and Pam really are on the same wavelength in so many areas. This chapter, while a little meloncholy did a great job of showing some of the growth of Jim and Pam. Pam knows what she wants out of a relationship and when it's clear that's not going to materialize she is right to get out of it with as little drama as possible. I'm sure seeing the Ryan/Kelly dustup also helped focus her mind on that a bit too.
Feels like they're starting to get a bit closer to the same wavelength with the discussion on the roof. Being a bit more honest with each other and how they see things. That's good to see.
The hand holding on the roof was sweet and cute as well. Nice job.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review!
1 [Report This]Date: October 19, 2021 04:49 pm Title: Chapter Nine
Booze Cruise!!! Honestly had no idea that this chapter was based off this episode until Jim breaks up with Katy. Well done incorporating the lines into this chapter. My heart just wants these two together :( Happy to see Michael and Holly doing well though.
On a side note, I wonder what it would have been like if we had seen Pam dating Danny in early season 3..
Can't wait for the next chapter :)
Author's Response:
The Danny thing was such a weird retcon. I don't even like that Pam went out on the Freedom Fries date, tbh, but it definitely would have been interesting in terms of what not getting called back by Danny would have done to her self-confidence. It honestly could help explain her holding back from Jim for so long.
Thanks for the review and for reading!
1 [Report This]Date: October 19, 2021 03:15 pm Title: Chapter Nine
Come ON Jim, ya big chicken! Tell her how you feel before it's too late!
Oh, I felt for him this chapter, especially at the end when Katy called him out. Maybe their break up was the shove in the right direction that he needs like, NOW 🤞🏻
I'd love to see a Pam POV chapter on how she's feeling with Danny and if any feelings stir up about Jim.
This is getting really good now, Bravo!
👏🏻
Author's Response: Hey thanks! Chapters will be coming more quickly now :)
Date: October 19, 2021 12:40 pm Title: Chapter Nine
*bangs head against the wall*
This is just… frustratingly wonderful.
*continued banging head against the wall*
Make them do the kissing and the sexytiems already, Goddamit!
Author's Response: Haha I'm so sorry, I know I'm terrible. Not too much longer. Thanks as always for reading and reviewing :)
Date: October 19, 2021 06:05 am Title: Chapter Nine
Seriously Jim everyone including Katy are telling you to let Pam know your feelings. Maybe listen to them, damn the torpedoes. That being said it was a lot of fun seeing all the canon references. Jim's aburpt breakup with Katy, Jim pranking Pam via Andy, Kelly and Darryl being a thing, Frank and Beans! All good stuff.
So Katy's now out of the picture. Kinda wondering if it'll be Danny's turn next chapter.
Really good look into Jim's headspace with this one that's for sure.
Author's Response: Thanks as always for reading and reviewing! Your instincts might be correct...
Date: October 19, 2021 05:40 am Title: Chapter One
This story is so good. You can physically feel their pain, their wanting, I cannot wait for them to finally be honest with each other and let the sparks fly!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! You won't have to wait too much longer...
1 [Report This]Date: October 19, 2021 03:10 am Title: Chapter Nine
Ugh, my heart is breaking. You write so beautifully. The absolutely seamless integration of canon + WHMS is just fantastic.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
1 [Report This]Date: October 18, 2021 10:11 pm Title: Chapter Nine
The way you work in lines from the show is just so good. Sometimes (for me at least) it can be hard not to make it feel forced, but you do it beautifully and I love it!
I also loved the scene of Jim at her house as she's getting ready. Ughhh I just wanted him to kiss her.
As always, I love this story and will wait not-so-patiently for the next update.
Author's Response: Thanks so much, updates will be coming faster now as I've almost completely finished!
Date: October 15, 2021 10:37 am Title: Chapter Eight
"She wondered what Holly was doing in the bathroom (besides Michael)"? “I’m always serious when it comes to the salvation of my eternal soul.”? “Pam, there’s nothing shameful about a museum curator and a salesman expressing their love physically. It’s a beautiful thing.” You slay me.
Obviously I've read ahead, but knowing what's coming the degree of Danny's awareness of Jim is striking here. Wonder how much he saw coming.
On the other hand, it could be worse. What a gut punch for Pam here. And there are a couple of them in this chapter - her smelling Katy on him, Jim's ears... her seeing the snow reach New York and realizing she's alone stings. A lot. (Although I appreciate you throwing in the sweet note of Jim thinking of her immediately upon seeing it.)
The metaphors here are terrific as always... and this is probably the last wave of young people where you could get away with using a skipping record as a metaphor too.
The bookstore scene. Is. GENIUS. Completely hilarious. Top to bottom. Start to finish. A worthy substitute for "I'll have what she's having." And Gertrude and Erica striking back was icing on the cake.
1 [Report This]Date: October 14, 2021 08:36 pm Title: Chapter Eight
This chapter had me rolling. The humor and dialogue were so spot on and hilarious, especially Angela asking for the book. Hahaha
But of course it's also laced with the classic Jam flirtation where they walk the line and pretend not to be madly in love with each other. Just make out, kids.
So great! Can't wait for the next one!
1 [Report This]Date: October 14, 2021 07:35 pm Title: Chapter Eight
Please please please get them together soon, I’m dying here! I don’t like to be titillated! Well maybe I do a little. Great read!
Author's Response: Haha I’m so sorry, it’s a journey, like the movie… but just so you know the fic is almost finished and it’s 15 chapters (to give you an idea of how long you’re gonna have to wait). Chapters will be coming more quickly soon. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
Date: October 14, 2021 10:04 am Title: Chapter Eight
Regardless of universe it seems these two have the worst timing. For Pam to walk out then and see the Katy/Jim kiss. Oof. No wonder she'd be willing to give Danny a chance. Makes sense that their friendship would cool down a bit.
I do like that she's at least honest enough with herself that she knows she's not giving Danny her full attention. Not when she feels her heart still being pulled another way. We'll see how long that feeling lasts for sure.
Angela seems spot on in her assessement of anything she disapproves of. Nice mostly return to form banter between Jim and Pam there. Especially with the books they're looking through. Even with some fun and flirty banter things still feel off between them. I'm sure they're figure it out, but the journey to get there will be interesting for sure.
Date: October 14, 2021 08:20 am Title: Chapter Eight
(I should point out of course, this was a bloody good read as usual)
Author's Response: Haha I'm so sorry! I promise you smooches are coming. Just a couple more chapters. Thanks for being patient!
Date: October 14, 2021 08:19 am Title: Chapter Eight
Noooooooooo! *Stamps foot in the floor in frustration.*
TALK TO EACH OTHER, YOU IDIOTS!
We need the Jam Smoochies, and we need them soon. Please and thank you.
Date: October 14, 2021 04:41 am Title: Chapter Eight
***If their relationship was a record, they were stuck in one of its grooves, and even though she was enjoying the song she couldn’t help but be curious about the next one. Every day she was more and more certain that she’d never get to hear it.***
This had to me my favorite passage of this whole chapter. Went back to read it again.
Wasn't expecting Pam to have seen the little Jim/Katy hook-up but it was a good choice for story. Explains her bit of lashback at him later. The little bits about the perfume and the snow - those are the touches that make your stories so engaging and real.
The snow - such a magical moment and yet she was alone - but not really - he noticed it and knew enough to write her (so much a hint of their connection) but in that moment she couldn't see it and still felt the relationship had boundaries at the friendship line. That was strong.
Ok - nice to have the lightheartedness in this chapter too and I like how you handled these scenes from the movies and brought in Angela, too and her line about Harry Potter.
Of course Katy works at a dept store selling purses, nice bit.
SO tying the bookstore scene and the deli fake orgasm scene together and making it like the Pam/Jim shopping for Kevin scene too was brilliant and fun (plus throwing in the other show lines good stuff .“I know. How have we not talked about this?
Again her ability to read him - pink ears - one of those little details not lost on me and big in the scheme of it all worked well especially as it came back at end. Angela buying the book - funny.
Nice job with this chapter.
Author's Response:
I love so much that you have been noticing the little things, I've been working hard to make the city sort of move with them, give them signs that they keep misreading, like the signs they give with each other. Your reviews always mean a lot, so thank you!
(Also: "Someone is starring at you in Personal Growth" is my favorite line in the movie. And only Angela could have delivered it, haha)
Date: October 13, 2021 09:03 am Title: Chapter Eight
While I love Sally's diner scene, you're right. That would have felt like waaaaay too much for Pam. But this?? Jim at his pranky/teasy best, Pam embarrassed, and hilarious bookstore ladies who will have none of their shenanigans?? I was literally laughing out loud throughout! Thank you for this! Can't wait to see what happens next!
1 [Report This]Date: October 03, 2021 09:50 pm Title: Chapter Seven
UGH. Ugh, in the best way. The presumed unrequited love on both parts is deliciously maddening and so good. I also loved loved loved the Holly and Michael bits! Amazing.
Freaking Danny. Freaking Katy.
I hate and love you and can't wait for the next one!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! The next few chapters will be coming soon and more quickly, I hope :)
Date: October 03, 2021 12:48 am Title: Chapter Seven
You're killing us all you know that right? I mean just one hundred percent absolutely dead. Thing is I even kinda saw this coming and it still hit like a ton of bricks. Just when he had the courage Danny shows up. Then Katy and he can't seem to resist her. Uuugh. Why Jim and Pam do you have to torment yourselves so much. Well I know why, it' because fanfic authors are evil in how good they are at writing, that's how.
Ok. Besides all that. Really lovely to see Micheal and Holly hit it off like that. Seems like you got them perfectly in character. And even included the rarely seen but always nice, insightful Micheal and one of his best lines. Listen to him Jim. Don't give up. Though it feels like it's going to take us even longer to get where they're supposed to be at this point.
Great writing to bring all that out.
Author's Response: Sorry to report that we are not yet done with the angst... but hopefully it will be worth it :) thanks for reading and reviewing!
Date: October 02, 2021 12:17 pm Title: Chapter Seven
I promised I would catch up by the weekend and so here I am - what a fun chapter (until the end) - you know I love a good Michael bit and you served him up well.
I thought it was perfect that it was Holly who told the TWSS joke and that made it make perfect sense that he would be so totally smitten -(and paralleled nicely Jess and Marie banter where she quote his line and he says nobody's quoted me back to me before).
But man the ending - Danny - yuck (although I get the sense Jim is imagining things worse in his head than what really went down- or not) but either way it pushed him to Katy. Guess it had to be done.
It was nice to see Michael in his role of advisor and I totally laughed at the condom. Oh but The line - I'd totally open with that - soooooo Jim.
I just am so enjoying this story.
Date: October 02, 2021 11:42 am Title: Chapter Seven
This opening here in Jim's POV is lovely, but utterly brutal. You can see the depth of his feelings for Pam and also how utterly crushed he is by all this.
I utterly adored the chemistry between the two soupsnakes in this chapter. They really are perfect for each other (LOVED the Holly TWSS moment, and Michael trashing her ex for being foolish enough to dump her.) And you did a really fine job with Michael, striking the right balance between poignancy and irritation and comedy. ("Because… it feels like she’s wrapping my heart into a cozy warm blanket... and at the same time, squeezing my crotch with a handmade mitten... and I just want to scream out my love from the rooftops so everyone can hear me, because I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.” And Michael having this really meaningful moment with Jim and immediately handing him condoms.)
I also maintain that Kelly bailing out Ryan when he's broke at a strip club so he doesn't have to tell his wife is *peak* Kelly/Ryan.
“Pam, you never know when you’re going to have to perform an emergency magic trick. It’s good to be prepared.” Amazing. Also, “There’s just as much sexual energy, it’s just nice to see it directed at someone other than myself.” You have a lot of great lines of Jim observing Michael.
“Please don’t tell your grandkids any sex stories, Jim,” she said. “That’s disturbing.” PAMELA.
The appearance of Katy and Danny is a gut punch, but obviously pretty in line with WMHS canon. And you put it to good use... this is a charmingly angsty way to wrap up the chapter.