1 [Report This]Date: February 24, 2022 07:11 pm Title: "That was what today was supposed to be. The loving union between people."
I just love the way you tell your stories!
Even when it is a story we already know, you have a way of bringing us deeper into the moments and let us feel more of what is happening inside through the flashes from before and beautifully crafted narratives of what they each are feeling.
I devoured every paragraph but this may have been the one that struck me most:
It was beyond his control, as if the words had been waiting; dormant but vigilant, ready to strike at any moment. And he could have said them a number of times, a number of ways, but what had come out was absolutely raw. What he lacked in eloquence he made up for with sincerity. There was no stirring oratory, no grand plan. It was straightforward and to the point, no room for any more mixed signals.
Really moved from this first chapter. I look forward to seeing season 3 through your lens.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Excited to reveal this one!
1 [Report This]Date: February 24, 2022 05:03 pm Title: "That was what today was supposed to be. The loving union between people."
You know my thoughts on this already, so I will state the obvious: AAAAAAH YOU POSTED IT!!
Ugh, I’m ready for this to break me into a million pieces. I absolutely love how you break this into multiple POVs of the same episode, same day.
This is brilliant, you’re brilliant d84;a039;
Ugh, YES!
Author's Response: Thanks, girl! xo
1 [Report This]Date: February 24, 2022 12:13 pm Title: "That was what today was supposed to be. The loving union between people."
Wow. The weaving of the present and the past is just immaculate. I love this! Can’t wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to review!
1 [Report This]Date: February 24, 2022 11:53 am Title: "That was what today was supposed to be. The loving union between people."
"I can love you more than he does, he’d wanted so badly to say. I can love you better than he does.
I can promise that I already do."
Excuse me, ma'am. Ouch.
"Seconds too late, he realizes that accosting her again in the parking lot is exactly what he’s just done. And of all the things he didn’t expect on this day, at the top of that list was being rejected a third time."
EXCUSE ME.
"He hasn’t been trying to ignore what happened. He didn’t “forget.”
He just doesn’t want her anymore."
I'm not okay.
TD, this was some beautiful angst, I'll tell you what. The jumper cable metaphor was perfect and heartbreaking and I think you captured both of their thoughts and feelings SO well. Season 3 kills me and I can't wait to experience it through your words! Well done!
Author's Response: Ahh, thank you so much! Hope to keep murdering you slowly *insert devil emoji*
1 [Report This]Date: February 24, 2022 09:32 am Title: "That was what today was supposed to be. The loving union between people."
So this feels like it's going to be a huge big story just full of oof. I mean that in the amazing way you've captured their thoughts and feelings here. How Casino Night devastated both of them for similar yet different reasons. How Jim felt he needed to put up a fortress around his heart and why he wouldn't accept the signs of life Pam was showing him that day. He'd been crushed before so why wouldn't he?
Likewise Pam is forced to face what her true feelings were and all the implications of them. You can feel the air of hope she had the day of the merger shrink as the day progressed. Makes you really feel for the both of them.
Of course we all know they'll get through this year, but there's still a very rough road ahead. Great writing to bring it out though.
Also one last thing, even through all that, it still feels like there is still at least one small thread of the connection they shared tying them together. It's small, distant, and dull, but it's still there.
Author's Response: Thank you warrior, for your thoughtful review and kind words, as always!