Date: April 03, 2022 04:04 pm Title: "What is love anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules."
There's the hammer falls for Jim that I've been talking about. At long last he finally gets it. It's clearly shaken him right down to his core, but when the hammer finally stops, he's back. The Jim who in actuality did win over Pam even when he thought he lost her. The Jim he was always meant to be, but could never really let it all out. Beautiful reading about how it finally clarified for him.
Loved the flashback scene. Jim getting a chance to just stare into Pam's eyes? Yeah that would make him go all sorts of goo-goo eyed for sure.
Now that Jim's steel has been forged and tempered, there's one challenge left. Cutting ties with Karen. Not easy or painless to be sure, but it feels like he's ready for it.
Also LOVED that you brought in the lines from A.A.R.M. I've got a feeling that this and when he caught Pam and just held her in the parking lot before quitting Athleap were the two things going through his mind when he told those words to Dwight. Superb use of those lines.
Hopefully I've got a few more jellybeans to give out cause this chapter deserves all of them.
Date: April 03, 2022 01:22 pm Title: "What is love anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules."
Another chapter that got me in the feels - the way you demonstrate just how much they are meant to be together within their own internal monologues - the thing stuck in his/her shoe...the no ones's happy with silver. Both said by the other - in other chapters.
As usual, the blanks you fill in with what happened at the Olympics and the interview - spot on.
This is no coded overture. It’s a flashing marquee, it’s a jet puffing out skywriting across the sky - how I loved this line.
Yup - Oscar taught her Origami alright- my personal head canon too.
He wants to make her his so badly it hurts. So true.
But this was my favorite line - He’s been lying to himself for so long, swimming upstream against a powerful current. And if he stops trying so hard and just lets go, if he allows the current to carry him away, he knows exactly where it will lead: right back to her.
My only but, not enough NY - now you know I'm just teasing, but you also know I love a good NY scene. But seriously, you did another great job here. Can't wait to see how you bring it all home.
1 [Report This]Date: April 03, 2022 12:48 pm Title: "What is love anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules."
First of all, I'm so glad you included Oscar's origami. Genius.
The rest was absolutely beautiful. I love Jim's realization in the bathroom that he wasn't himself and he didn't want to be someone else. So good.
I can't WAIT for the next two!!! So excited!
1 [Report This]Date: April 03, 2022 11:41 am Title: "What is love anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules."
So you and I both know that this is the first chapter of this story that I'm reading. I know you thought it was safe, but you always deliver on all fronts, and this was no exception.
My heart hurts for Jim so bad, especially after reading the office olympics flashback. And I love how you tied the silver/gold metaphor back to the interview.
Now I need to go ice my heart back to how it was before.
1 [Report This]Date: April 03, 2022 01:04 am Title: "What is love anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules."
Yes! Feeling like Judd Nelson at the end of Tye Breakfast Club right now *punches the air* - you keep breathing new life into this TD 🥰
Date: April 03, 2022 12:24 am Title: "What is love anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules."
"He’d chosen loyalty to Karen. She’s the responsible choice, the safe one. And regardless of the inner conflict he’s been trying to suppress all year long, he knows he can be happy with her. He and Pam have a history, sure... but now, so do he and Karen." I'm not sure I fully registered the blindingly clear and blindingly painful parallels to post-Casino Night Pam before. Maybe I just didn't want to believe.
"It reminds him of those times something gets stuck in his shoe and he can’t get it out." Okay, first of all: how dare you.
"t occurs to him how incredibly ironic it is that right now, when he could use some support himself, is the moment she’s chosen to leave him alone with his thoughts." Pouring one out for my homie K-Filly. Lost sight of her goal THISSHORT of the finish line.
"Jim had come out on top for the gold, which didn’t surprise him, as staring deeply into Pam’s eyes with permission was something he would have done as long as humanly possible." You're a SAP, Halpert.
"“No one’s actually happy with silver.”" EEEEEEEEP. I am excited for what's coming in spite of 100% knowing what's coming on multiple levels.
"Karen’s right… they don’t have a future in Scranton. But he does." AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
"He can’t forget her. He will never forget her. And most importantly… he doesn’t want to." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Date: April 02, 2022 11:44 pm Title: "What is love anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules."
Another awesome chapter! 👏
Two bits really stuck out for me:
“He’s been trying for so long not to be the guy hopelessly in love with the receptionist that he’s forgotten what’s most important: how to be her friend.” I loved this line so much, and it’s so true. He’d been such a dick to her all season, he’d forgotten about being her friend which _is_ the most important bit
But this line really got me good. “No one’s actually happy with silver.” The fact they both say this is so perfect. No one else is good enough for them.
Now gimme more, more, more please!!!
1 [Report This]Date: April 02, 2022 05:54 pm Title: "What is love anyway? Maybe it's supposed to break all the rules."
Even though we know where this going,
seeing Jim’s mind going through all the
realizations of what he really wants, was intense.
I hope we get to see him end things with Karen,
and her reaction.
I have to say I liked how Jim also thought to himself
about wanting not sliver. That showed how even though JAM wasn’t always the best at communicating, they are still in the same wavelength.
Date: April 02, 2022 04:43 pm Title: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"
Karen really is a sad and desperate woman.
She should really cut her losses.
Yes, Jim is leading on both women by
talking out of both sides of his mouth,
but Karen still completely ignoring the giant
red flags waving in her face! 🚩
It drives me crazy that Pam puts all the blame
on herself, and allowing Jim to do the same,
while letting Jim off the hook when comes to their
relationship problems. 😡
At least the others felt guilty about missing the art show.
Author's Response: It appears you have a very aggressive opinion of Jim (which is okay! your opinion is valid!) but I'm not sure your characterization of him in this chapter is very accurate... he felt badly about missing the art show, and also apologized/ took accountability for his own actions multiple times here. Appreciate the review :)
Date: April 01, 2022 02:02 pm Title: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"
FUCKING. HELL.
You gave us A TRUE, FANCY NEW BEESLY. ONE WHO DOESN'T NEED JIM AND WANTS HIS HAPPINESS. OUCH, TD. I'M LITERALLY HURT IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE.
I need to go cry again, brb...
Date: April 01, 2022 02:00 pm Title: "All it really means is that we're friends."
TD, quit hammering nails into my coffin.
But please don't, this was beautiful. The piece with the note tying in with terrace... THE WHOLE ENDING WITH KIDS.
excuse me as I go and cry
Date: March 31, 2022 11:15 pm Title: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"
Simply a beautiful chapter. You took my breath away. You’ve breathed such new life into these moments, this is such a fresh read. Huge kudos to you for doing so.
1 [Report This]Date: March 31, 2022 04:06 pm Title: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"
This chapter was so full of little bits that struck me I don't think it's possible to remark on them all.
The chapter title and the up front notes (which are right out of the story) - really well done with the circularity from Casino Night and so on point.
You know I love a good Michael bit and I am 100 on board with Michael not doubting for
a minute everyone else went because that is what "family" does. And we know he sees this crew as a family. And that Jim wasn't there - that's unfathomable to him.
That he went to Karen first - I get it -- although that he uses the same words to her he had said to Pam - um not sure how I feel about that. Good thing this is canon compliant.
So I was wondering when Theodore was going to show up (and I hope you know my reference) and it struck me again seeing it in complete context. I just wanted to hug him here...and give him the little push to "jump" - Yes I saw what you did here - Dwight you're getting the advice Jim wasn't quite able to take himself at first.
My heart went so out again went he cursed the universe and I don't have to tell you how I feel about the idea Michael comes in and saves him for complete destruction.
I am also on board with the idea it wasn't a single thing, didn't happen in an instance when she knew. The connection to fireflies is so appropriate. They connected right away - but what they shared grew and is perhaps why it wasn't as easy to know what it was until too late. But I also love that identifying it know was what gave her "determination".
SO i 've told you before how you have a way of filling in the blanks to give what we know from the show so much depth. BOth the banter and the deeper moments here felt very real.
the lines that I feel worth pointing out:
It wasn't unrequited
My mom said something to me the other day,” Pam says. “She said that sometimes we get so used to what we have that we forget about what we want.”
And it just got me thinking… that it could have been us, you know? (this is where I wanted to hug Pam)
It’s her final round to play. No more bluffing. She takes a deep breath and pushes the last of her chips in.
UGh that she's ready to give him up though for him to be happy - again glad it's canon compliant.
ANd the ending - she feels it: the tiny snap as she breaks loose from her chrysalis at last and spreads her wings, ascending into the sky. Really well done.
Date: March 31, 2022 06:11 am Title: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"
Love, love, loved this chapter. It was all so well written. And now I am just sat here waiting for the next chapter, like come on, hurry up please!!
I kinda like how you had Jim go speak to Karen first. As much as he cares about Pam, he is with Karen, so it would make total sense he went to speak to her before Pam. But the "I'm with you. I want to be with you." No Jim, no you don't. We know you don't believe yourself.
I loved in the Booze Cruise flashback how you had Jim going back to tell Pam, only to be crushed by June 10th. I wanted to hug him there.
Your lakeside side dialogue was just fantastic, the way you moved between canon and your own was seamless.
"It wasn't unrequited, Jim," she says, very quietly. OMG. I was just like wow.
I'm out of jellybeans but I wish I could give you so many more for this chapter! Amazing work
Date: March 30, 2022 11:10 pm Title: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"
Simply a beautiful chapter. You took my breath away. You’ve breathed such new life into these moments, this is such a fresh read. Huge kudos to you for doing so.
Date: March 30, 2022 06:38 pm Title: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"
"“I was there,” Oscar interjects. “Anyway, I don’t think it really matters. She’s obviously only upset about Jim.”" Oh, Oscar. You totally just remembered what you DID at her art show. And I love how protective Michael is of her here.
I maintain this is a spot on picture of Jim's post-Beach Games thoughts. The sense that Pam's not *actually* saying what she's trying to say is solid, and this idea that Jim feels like he's *almost past it* and *almost wants to be* is terrific. You can see how he might have actually talked himself into The Job, and to the path of least resistance that just so happens to not badly hurt Karen, and Pam feeling like really this is a victory in and of itself and she can ALMOST let him go but ALSO lets him know she won't if he doesn't want her to.
"I can love you more than he does. I can love you better than he does. I can promise that I already do." OW.
"No- he does recognize it. It’s disappointment. And he will toil over exactly what she’d been disappointed about for months." DOUBLE OW.
"Sometimes he thinks he’ll be waiting for Pam his whole life. Sometimes he’s okay with that." Life, wife. Close enough. *Heart eyes*
"It wasn’t even a light switch flicking on somewhere in her brain." Still amuses me that you called out this exact metaphor.
“Crazy about me, as in… he’s going to confess his love after years of unrequited pining?” “It wasn’t unrequited, Jim." EEEEP. The dialogue between them here is amazing. And the set-up for the conversation at the end of The Job!!!!!
1 [Report This]Date: March 30, 2022 10:33 am Title: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"
Outstanding work with this one. You really captured Jim's deer in the headlights moment well. That after all this time, THAT is what she's been thinking? Yeah, it would be a lot for anyone to take it. And then all the expanded parts. Michael rounding on Jim for not going to the art show, his internal thoughts about why he didn't, and of course that conversation with Karen.
Really solid choices there with some of the wording. How he's basically forcing himself to believe what he has with Karen by sheer repetition. That if he can just it enough, he will finally move on. Thing is Jim, if you were really as invested in your relationship with Karen as you say you want to be, there would be no need for saying things over and over. I think he's finally starting to get that too. It feels like he knows his relationship with Karen is a lot more rocky than he's trying to tell himself. Good case in point, when she asks him what his first thought about the job was and he mentions Michael. Not him or Karen getting the job, but that Michael wouldn't. As if he really couldn't see himself there unless forced to. So clearly there's still a lot of internal back and forth going on in his head.
Then the expanded scene with Pam at the water's edge. So last chapter I made the metaphor about a smith and a hammer and an anvil. If feels like those first hammer blows have started to land. Mainly for Pam here. She's allowing a refining fire to burn off the slag around her heart. At the same time, this also feels like the first REAL bit of healing either one of them have had since Casino Night. They're a lot more honest with each other. Pam more than Jim though. After years of dancing around each other, Pam finally realized that, "screw that just say what you really feel." And she finds it's not really as scary as she may have thought. I get why she's thinking this may truly be the end for her relationship with Jim. Oh Pam, if you only knew this was the start of something big. Clearly Jim has a lot more to think about.
Outstanding job with this one. I'd been looking forward to it for a long time and you delivered in spades. Bravo!
Date: March 30, 2022 10:29 am Title: "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"
I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying.
I love love love this take on Beach Games. I always felt like there had to be more, even more than the superfan cut, and this was perfect. I love how you set up for Pam's talking head in The Job where you start up see her healing, and how there is a bigger seed planted in Jim's head when he decides to leave the interview. Very well done!
Date: March 29, 2022 03:12 pm Title: "All it really means is that we're friends."
Really liked this chapter! My poor heart got a rest and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now!
Great conversations with Helene and Penny there. Also really liked the doubt coming into Jim’s mind about Karen around not wanting kids, it’s not completely about Pam, they’re really just not meant to be together.
But oh my god, he was going to shred the teapot note?!? Noooo!!!!
Author's Response: Okay, it was hard to even fathom that shredder scene (which is why I had to do it, muahahaha!) And apologies to your poor heart, I feel like chapter 7 was the release valve for them post-Phyllis’ Wedding and this one was a sort of a regroup. But yes, the light is for sure at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for sticking with it! 💕
Date: March 29, 2022 08:56 am Title: "All it really means is that we're friends."
Bringing in the moms! Moms ways know. I absolutely love the conversation Pam has with Helene.
And here you go again, creating insanely realistic scenes, like Delilah warning Jim to tell Pam how he feels and Jim realizing they must all know. And that she inspired the card!
I loved the card just as much the second time. Beautiful.
Author's Response: Thanks so much, WW!
Date: March 29, 2022 04:06 am Title: "All it really means is that we're friends."
**she is relieved that she will never again have to wonder whether or not she did the right thing last June.**
Through all this longing and hurting for Jim - there is also her mindset about all that happened with Roy and I like that you bring that up. I have to imagine she had her bouts of feeling bad she let not one but two relationships go after what happened at Casino Night and thoughts of regret were a small bit of what pushed her back his way...at least now she has peace of mind that even if she didn't have Jim, that was the best thing for her.
I also really enjoyed the conversation with Helene. For a woman who isn't in the healthiest relationship herself, she has a lot of good insights. Maybe that is why. - I loved that she differentiates between supposed to feel and actually feel...wonder if she is comparing Pam's situation to her own.
Everything about this conversation was so layered but so good - but this line - you know I feel this so strongly....Even now, she wonders if she’d have ever realized she and Roy were wrong for each other if Jim hadn’t been there to show her what right could look like.
PS - I love the little note about him wordlessly giving her the last coke - sweet - but that machine runs out of coke a lot, doesn't it.
After spending a weekend with my own sister, I can really appreciate the part with Penny too. Sisters often have a way of seeing through you and understanding without judging.
I love that Jim doesn't hide his crush from his mom. I so see this as their relationship - love too that her idea to put her favorite tea in it sparks the idea for what he ultimately does.
Yikes- he almost shredded the card.
And he's still trying to fool himself with Karen. Don't know if you intended this but I feel like the way you start the chapter with Pam talking to her mom who's dad never felt that intense love (that P&J have) for her and end it with Jim trying to convince himself that he can find love with Karen (perhaps the Helene to his William) says a whole lot.
Great Job as usual on this chapter.
I'm excited to see how you approach Beach Games.
Author's Response:
I definitely tried to approach Helene as a woman encountering similar issues about love, but I didn't actually intend the parallel with Jim/Karen. It's so true though, so I'm glad you found it.
Fancy New Beesly is a'comin'...
1 [Report This]Date: March 28, 2022 06:48 am Title: "All it really means is that we're friends."
So, as we're getting closer to the end of the year of angst, I really like what you're doing here. Both Jim and Pam have had time to get some perspective on things. How they royally messed everything up with what they did and didn't say on Casino Night. They've had to deal with the ramifications of everything. There's still tension and a little pain for sure, but it doesn't feel angry anymore. I think Jim's apology last chapter and him saying "everything's going to be okay," had a big part in that. Same with Pam's earlier apology in the breakroom. They're both smart enough and know each other well enough that they could understand the context of those apologies. So, in this chapter it feels like we're building on that.
The conversation Pam has with Helene goes to show this progress is still going on. Pam was with Roy for a long time, but Helene has known her even longer. I think Helene was able to give Pam some really good insight and clarification. Which highlights the flashback nicely too. Basically Pam's had the blinders pulled off and now that her eyes are open and she's had some needed perspective come into her life, she can see just how strong her feelings for Jim have been all this time. That last line there, "It's time to be brave." Love it. Can't wait to see how you'll treat her bravery coming up.
I get the feeling that the flashback was something that was going through Jim's mind even as he sat across the table from Karen there on their date. Then all of a sudden he pulls up sharp when she offers her toast. Like when he pulled it out of the trash it was now stuck in his mind, almost as if that little act was the first real shot of meaningful life support his heart has had since those few brief seconds on Casino Night where Pam had kissed him back, said "me too," but before he asked if she was still going to marry Roy.
So here's Jim thinking about his own words about Pam. How he admitted, at least to himself, that he would love Pam forever. Yet he's sitting across the table from Karen who just told him that kids are not the priority in her life. You can see the red flag being run up the proverbial flag pole in Jim's mind. Yes, kids are important to him, but it's just so telling that even still when he thinks about his kids, they have Pam's eyes. But then at the end he still hedges. He may have made progress, but there's still a lot of hurt there, and to be fair prior to Pam's speech it did seem like Jim and Karen were in a good place. So while he still has images and feelings of Pam bouncing around in his head, feelings for Karen are growing. Had Pam not spoked up after her coal walk or put her note in his papers, it would be very easy to see this Jim would have let his feelings for Karen grow and his feelings for Pam would have faded. Of course we all know how it all turns out (which has been one of the biggest reasons I'm so invested in such a fic of this level of angst, the other bigger reason is your great writing).
There's two ways I feel about this chapter all together. First it feels like a great set up for Beach Day. Second this feels like the first blow of a hammer on a piece of raw iron ore resting on an anvil. The smith has put the ore into the fire and let it soak in some heat. The ore is then set on the anvil and the first blow lands. It's not a very hot heating nor is it a very strong blow. Instead, the smith heated the ore only enough to see where the cracks are. The hammer strike did remove some slag, but it was more of an exploration. A way to find out where's the junk and where's the good metal. This is in preparation for hotter flames from the forge and the intense hammer strikes that will once and for all remove any impurities and forge something indestructible. Can't wait to see that.
Author's Response: thanks warrior, your reviews are always so thoughtful and I appreciate each and every one. Excited to see what you think of Beach Games!
Date: March 27, 2022 02:53 am Title: "All it really means is that we're friends."
Still arguably the best Christmas card contents on this site. This one totally got me *feels*
Author's Response: Thank you so much. That card still means as much to me as it did in terrace, so I appreciate you saying that!
1 [Report This]Date: March 27, 2022 01:28 am Title: "All it really means is that we're friends."
”We change each other all the time, Pam.”
Dammmmm this line hit me like a load of bricks. Well done. Looking forward to the next update.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! The next one will be a biggie...
Date: March 26, 2022 09:38 pm Title: "All it really means is that we're friends."
“Better or worse than last time?” HELENE. "I didn't mean it like that." YES YOU DID.
"Every single moment of that night is carved into her memory like an epitaph: her dearly departed chance with Jim Halpert. Rest in peace."
I think I've come around to the idea that it's kind of appropriate that Pam comes from a family of people who just... wouldn't follow up on the Casino Night call. As you know, I maintain the Beesly parent marriage is key to understanding Pam and Roy, and this is the choice of a mom who is maybe too used to not speaking up (or has her own expectations for what constitutes happiness). It's not exactly A+ mothering, but Helene's not exactly a 4.0 mother, is she, MICHAEL. And that vibe does hang over this whole conversation.
“One day he was getting a Coke out of the vending machine and it was the last one. It's so silly, but he just turned around and handed it to me without a second thought.” I love this detail and that this stuck with her.
“We change each other all the time, Pam... Love… real love, it sort of sits with you. Forever. You can’t just forget about it. It changes you, and I guess you just have to be careful not to lose yourself.” I LOVE THIS LINE.
Ah, Penny, you drama llama. You and Delilah might get along.
The note remains beautiful. And this scene with him holding it over the shredder is STRESSFUL, even knowing this is canon compliant. Good bit I think! Very symbolic of where Jim is in this journey. He's really trying, Karen... but he's not going to succeed.
“Yeah, and he’s clearly not meeting the dress code. Slob.” I'm sorry, Karen, but if you can't laugh at that, you and Jim are not meant to be Pam or no Pam. Same with this conversation about kids. The both of you need to start remembering what a red flag signals... and should maybe consider why it is you're just getting to this question now.