Date: March 19, 2023 09:59 pm Title: Chapter 15 - Pam's life
Okay, so my desire for this Roy to be locked away for life just all sorts of intensified. To think Pam was living in that personal hell for as long as she was. That everything seen on the cameras was her only escape. That she bore so much so others wouldn't be hurt either. Damn.
Author's Response: yes d84;a039; trying to highlight that she was figuring out how to play the game, but still being the supremely cautious person we saw in cannon where the decision making process was slow.
Date: March 19, 2023 09:31 pm Title: Chapter 14 - Jim's education
Tons of raw emotions in this chapter for sure. Jim finally getting a glimpse of what life was really like for her. Along with the guilt that he left her in that situation because of (to his mind at least) his own selfish hurts and desires. Can Roy just be thrown away in jail and left to rot now? Please? Like any scumbag like him. I now things like this are rarely fair, but doesn't mean I don't wish fairness for Pam and everyone who loves her.
Author's Response: I am sure I am going to end up being a bit more fair than some may receive in the world. Wait till you find out what I am writing for Roy.... hopefully it will do these responses justice :)
Date: March 19, 2023 01:17 pm Title: Chapter 19 - Pam's reality
Wow. Some really hard hitting stuff here, but you’ve written it really well. Hoping things take a better turn soon.
Author's Response: Not an easy read, hoping my warnings did it justice. With the horror out of the way, we get to move forward with the emotions and healing d84;a039;
Date: March 18, 2023 07:34 pm Title: Chapter 17 - Pam thinks
Oh Pam!! Like the short chapter, gives a nice relief in the intensity of the anxiety haha!
Author's Response: Same.. left it needed the relief of a short thought train.
Date: March 18, 2023 07:28 pm Title: Chapter 17 - Pam thinks
Oh Pam!! Like the short chapter, gives a nice relief in the intensity of the anxiety haha!
Author's Response: d84;a039;d84;a039;
Date: March 18, 2023 07:22 pm Title: Chapter 16 - Education continues
Aw poor Pam! She really had a sense of overinflated responsibility for those around her. You can see the illusion of magical thinking clouding her and her response being an increase in compulsive behaviors tricking her into a false sense of safety.
Author's Response: EXACTLY! Oh, I am glad I conveyed that well.
Date: March 18, 2023 07:13 pm Title: Chapter 14 - Jim's education
This is intense. Jim is really hard on himself, he is human too. I love Helene’s sense of calm in the situation, even if she seems to make it seem like it’s Jim to blame sometimes. It’s very accurate in the complications this situation presents. I also love the description of how she processes. Everyone processes things in varying ways, and hers was very similar to mine! Your writing is amazing, was refreshing my page for it to be updated all week!
Author's Response: Awwww…. Raspberry Jam… you are awesome! I hope you feel a little of your sweet quiet Pam from your story in Helene’s description of Pam… I realized in my excitement to update the story tonight that I had not put that in my header! Your little world has equally captured my heart and I felt that my young Pam may have also had anxiety with difficulty speaking.
Date: March 15, 2023 06:51 pm Title: Chapter 13 - Pam & Ella
So I really like Ella here. Not threatening at all. Assuring Pam that she is the one calling the shots. Giving Pam the time to respond as she's comfortable. Also being as honest as she can. It's a great counterpoint to the raw emptions that have been going on thus far.
Kind of figured Pam wouldn't take to well to Jim being there and especially him saying those words again. Which is why I'm so glad Ella just lets Pam respond as she does. Feels like a first step even if it's a hard one.
Author's Response: I prefer Ella in this space… since it is something I have found I like more than the ‘in office’ stuff… trying to help get Pam to safety of discharge (no involuntary hospitalizations will be in my stories).
Date: March 15, 2023 06:45 pm Title: Chapter 12 - Jim's confusion
Again the big emotions are making everyone loose with their words. I get it though. It's hard to think with reason when all one has in the moment are feelings. Bravo for writing that all so raw and real. But now, how will Pam take this new on top of everything else that's happened? Hoo boy.
Author's Response: Glad I am keeping the story real, readable and engaging d84;a039;
Date: March 15, 2023 06:43 pm Title: Chapter 11 - She's awake
Wow, Roy really did a number on her. To have her go from Mom is safe to no where is is safe. That's just cruel and twisted. Feels like there's still going to be a hard road ahead for her, that's for sure.
Author's Response: It is definitely going to be a long road…. I am going full on “Roy is an abusive bastard”
1 [Report This]Date: March 15, 2023 06:41 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Jim thinks
Yeah, to now look back at S1 and S2 with that filter. For Jim to finally realize what was happening to the woman he loves. How everything he did and said could now be taken? Yeah, it makes sense why he'd break down again. I do apricate that Helene is the one that keeps him there. After her initial outburst at him she could just as easily tell him to leave and never come back. Yet she knows they both need each other. Powerful scene for sure.
Author's Response:
Awww… thank you ♥a039;
I am pulling on my own social work and therapeutic knowledge as well as re-examining cannon things.
Date: March 15, 2023 06:35 pm Title: Chapter 9 - Groggy
To wake up, not knowing what's going on. Only knowing that if you put one hair out of place it won't end well. Very much feels like she was living in her own private hell for a long time to get her to this point.
Author's Response: She very much was… writing from Helene’s POV over this timeframe.
1 [Report This]Date: March 15, 2023 06:34 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Jim begins to learn
Actually I don't mind Ella all that much. She seems to be a calm voice of reason in a situation that desperately needs some outside help.
Jim trying to jump in with a solution feels like a very Jim thing to do. It's the gut reaction since his feeling are still so high. Really hits hard when he and Helene realize how bigger this problem is. Hopefully Roy goes away behind bars for a very very long time.
My hat's off to you as a hospital social worker. I've handed many patient off to social workers hoping that there's something that can be done. It's often a thankless soul sucking job. So thank you for what you do.
Author's Response:
I thank you as an EMT d84;a039; as the wife of a former EMT 😊
we need more wonderful and compassionate EMTs. I am walking a fine line between canon personalities and keeping my AU story going.
Date: March 15, 2023 06:26 pm Title: Chapter 7 - Jim's arrival
I have transported three people in one ambulance before and it gets tight back there since there would be four people. The three patients and the EMT or paramedic who was attending them all. Since it's so crowded and because it's still a medical situation, the attending medic would (should) keep control of everything. Thus if they started yelling at each other like that it's the medic's job to step in and tell them to knock it off right then and there. Also just letting them get out would be considered patient abandonment so we'll just say that Jim signed the refusal/AMA forms off camera.
Ok, done being pedantic about EMS for now. What I did appreciate was that Dwight was still in hero mode there and was lording it over Jim too. 100% Dwight would use that as an opportunity to make Jim feel stupid. Though Jim is also right. If Dwight knew Roy was hurting Pam and did nothing that's a huge violation of trust and now Jim can fire back at Dwight that Dwight's not the hero he thought he was since he left a damsel in distress.
Then enters Helene. If that's everything that went down, yeah I get why Jim would stand there and take it. It's a lot to realize all at once, especially considering everything else that's happened.
Author's Response: ABSOLUTE AGREEMENT! My EMT wife was giving me some grief for being ‘loose’ with the EMT scenes 🤪
I am glad I am keeping and conveying the true characteristics!
Date: March 15, 2023 06:16 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Her fear
Still more darkness from the past starting to bubble up. Really starting to feel for Pam with all this boiling around in her mind. The manipulation Roy put on her to cover up the things being alluded to. The fact she went along with it for so long. The fact she just wants to run and hide. Like I said before, heavy stuff.
Author's Response: We will get a lot from Helene later on…her memories of what she witnessed in Pam.
Date: March 15, 2023 06:12 pm Title: Chapter 5 - Jim sees
I know this story is about Jim and Pam and all, but I can't help but love the fact that EMT's are here too and you're doing a bang-up job of getting them right. THANK YOU!!! Firm and direct.
Ok that's out of my system for now. There's still a lot that feels broken with both of them. That the one thing they both need is each other but circumstance is getting in the way once more.
Author's Response:
My love for EMTs and the helping professions is vital. They do not get enough love at all.
there is a lot of broken here…agreed
Date: March 15, 2023 06:10 pm Title: Chapter 4 - The stretcher
Oof, Pam's flashbacks are tough here. All that going through her mind. That those who want to help are only the precursors of pain. Heavy stuff.
Kudos on getting the medical stuff right though. Yes a C-collar is indicated when there's an unknown mechanism of injury and potential for spinal trauma. Nice job in that regard. Also the EMT attempting to calm things down by being honest about everything. Nice work there too.
Author's Response:
Yay!!!! Glad I got the message stuff right without being super heavy handed…trying to make it visible and readable to non-med readers.
my Pam is going to have a lot of flashbacks.
1 [Report This]Date: March 15, 2023 06:06 pm Title: Chapter 3 - Be OK
Here's my little bit of real world critique coming in since I'm a paramedic. If I was dispatched to the scene of multiple patients who were pepper sprayed and had an angry Karen type woman being that demanding of me or my partners, there's no way I'd sit back and dial a number in her cell phone for her. She'd be told firmly that I have more important things to do and to sit down and if she was still pushing the point I'd point out that those cops over there like me a lot more than her and they have no issues arresting someone who is harassing a paramedic. First Responders look out for each other like that.
Regardless of all that, now it's Jim's turn to be in panic mode. This time for the sake of Pam. Jim hearing that Roy was still after her even after being sprayed and that he can't find her. Yeah, I get why his mind is racing like that. Feels like he's got a pretty big moment of clarity as to who he really cares about, that's for sure.
Author's Response:
HAHAHA! As a social worker it would be the same… we are kind and compassionate.. to a POINT! Haha!
I needed a smidge of a plot move, so I went with that one…but I know in reality Karen being a Karen (ha…that worked out!) wouldn’t have gotten her anywhere!
Date: March 15, 2023 05:59 pm Title: Chapter 2 - Pam's panic
Full blown panic mode there for sure. Barely registering sight or sound. Just run, get away, felt very real there, especially when her ankle was grabbed.
Author's Response: Tried to make it as real as possible, glad I did!
1 [Report This]Date: March 15, 2023 05:56 pm Title: Chapter 1 - It begins with Jim
Finally starting to dive in on this one. That's a bit of a different take on Karen for one. That she's this upset at Jim. I get that emotions are high and she knows a small bit of the history Jim has with Pam, but still. Also interesting to see a bit into their relationship. Karen always has to be right and have the last word. Feels like she's a much different person than what the cameras would show.
What also is striking is how Jim's thoughts go immediately to Pam. That he takes in every aspect of her in a
fraction of a second and how it fits in with previous memories. Great way of showing how in tune he really is, even when they're apart.
Author's Response:
Yes, while Jim is an immature buffoon, he is still always paying attention to her. I believe in the subtext a lot of authors have used: Karen was a distraction and meant to insulate Jim from his feelings for Pam.
Karen pretty much figured this out and is now having a heinous bitch fear break up amidst it all.
Date: March 15, 2023 05:36 pm Title: Chapter 12 - Jim's confusion
I just want to say that you write so authentically! As someone with a few severe anxiety disorders, this was very accurate and I feel very happy to see someone portray it so well! :)
Author's Response:
Thank you… I hope you are being gentle with yourself as you read… I don’t want to trigger anyone d84;a039;
I promise… there will be LOADS of therapeutic healing as we go. Anticipating this will be a loooong saga.
Date: March 15, 2023 05:34 pm Title: Chapter 13 - Pam & Ella
Aw no, poor Pam!
Author's Response: I know… she breaks my heart.
Date: March 15, 2023 05:30 pm Title: Chapter 11 - She's awake
Aw this broke me. You can really see how anxiety can cloud your mind. You write beautifully!
Author's Response: Awww! Hang in with me, I will repair Pam AND you!
Date: March 15, 2023 09:50 am Title: Chapter 13 - Pam & Ella
Wow, a lot of emotions going on here from Jim, Pam and Helene. You've written them all really well. I really hope Pam's going to be ok and that she finally lets Jim in!
Author's Response:
ABSOLUTELY! We will definitely be getting to the work-to-easing the situation, Jim will be part of Pam's healing path. Humans heal in relationships...but we gotta get past the hurt and anger first!
All the ideas in my head...probably going to be A LOT of chapters! hahaha!
Date: March 12, 2023 09:37 am Title: Chapter 9 - Groggy
Don’t panic, Pam!!
Author's Response: I am so sorry, not going to end SOON....