1 [Report This]Date: June 11, 2023 06:46 pm Title: Chapter 40 - The Topography of Pam & Jim
What a wonderful chapter! Pam been so vulnerable and jim loving her, the way you writen them is magnificent.
Author's Response: Yay! I am glad I did them justice.
Date: June 11, 2023 05:10 am Title: Chapter 40 - The Topography of Pam & Jim
Wow, a huge chapter here, and so well written. The dialogue reads really well, and the whole idea of Pam wanting Jim to see her before anything happens makes a lot of sense
You really tackled such a hard subject and brought such a Jam dynamic to it. The dialogue felt very them.
Also, I loved the little bit about the museum at the end there, very sweet. And Gerald and his long hair was a great touch!!
I’m sorry I have no more jellybeans left to give you, because this really deserved one!
Author's Response:
Oh my goodness, thank you so much! I was nervous about this chapter, tried to see if it was happening too soon or if it was following the natural path of where Pam & Jim would have ended up, had Roy not showed up the day before. There is so much for them both to unpack, but Pam is back in her own thoughtful/playful self that had long ago planned to get away.
Thank you, thank you for the Kudos :)
Date: June 10, 2023 05:48 pm Title: Chapter 40 - The Topography of Pam & Jim
Pam finally getting vulnerable on her own choosing!!
Author's Response: 100%!!! Roy rocked her mind, caused a flood of panic, but it is well subsiding and she is working on skills she has been honing for years. It is the being seen, vulnerable and shameful that she will work through with Jim and the help of friends & therapy.
1 [Report This]Date: June 10, 2023 01:27 pm Title: Chapter 39 - Coworkers & Friends
Oh wow.
This one was a lot! I love her response to all of the commotion, it is very realistic!
Oscar was also a very nice touch! I really enjoyed his sympathy and don’t even get me started on Angela and Dwight talking back to Michael, I LOVED that. It really shows how sometimes something happening can bring out ranging feelings in people.
Pam absolutely broke me. I like the insight that she is actually a rather anxious person… even before all of this just because of her upbringing and who she is, which only makes this harder for her. You can see she probably had an anxiety disorder before this. The Benadryl being used for panic attacks actually really made this for me… let’s just say she’s not alone in that!
Love this chapter.
Author's Response:
Awww… I am so glad to hear so much of this hit well for you. Not gonna lie… I mentally fist-pumped when my Angela & Dwight stood up to Michael! They each were ones to rebuff him when he was TOO rude to them (like Angela rejecting his physical demands or Dwight showing hurt from him over the Golden Ticket and later not giving a recommendation to Sabre for him) I figured they might have moxie that needed a catalyst to come out.
And I wrote in to Pam tones of anxiety and worry from early on, yes Roy took advantage of that and made it far worse, but she was already going to have a life where she was in her head thinking too much. Benadryl is NOT a good long term option, but we have all used it at times to ease a bad night sleep. I would have gone with Melatonin, but 2006/07 were not HUGE on the melatonin as we are now :)
Hope my next chapter serves them just as well for you!
Date: June 10, 2023 09:45 am Title: Chapter 40 - The Topography of Pam & Jim
So, yeah lots of big emotions here. I'm amazed that Pam is ready to be so open with Jim so quickly. She's had a lot go one during this weekend and it could have very easily caused her to sink down into herself. Had Jim not been there that's probably what would have happened for sure. However Jim is there.
You can feel the anxiety she feels in telling and showing Jim her apartment and all these scars of hers. She has this vision of what she thinks Jim thinks of her and the reality is pretty far off from that. Not just the basic apartment, but the reality of her scars.
I think I also get why she'd want to open up to Jim like this. He's told her in any number of ways that he's there for her. But she wants to know that it's more than just words. She needs to know that he'll really stand by her when he knows the depths of what happened to her.
Good for Jim for letting her take the lead with all of this. He's scared in his own right and not sure how to handle things. It feels like he's doing a bit better on how to be there for her. Not try to assume or even try to fix anything. Just listen to her and be honest with her. That he also shows her some of his scars felt like a way he was also saying, "I'm also not perfect so if I don't get to have this erroneous vision of you, you don't get to have one of me." Feels like she responded well to that too.
Then the more intimate scene. Very well done. For the first time in a long time she can feel safe with physical intimacy. No wonder she gets a bit overwhelmed. Big feelings will probably do that. Big feelings cause some of the walls to come down so other thoughts can get in there too. So Jim shows her that he really is in for the long haul. Tells her that though he was misdirected for a while, she's always been the one for him. It's very sweet and lovely.
Feels like this is also the first time Pam's really felt comfortable in her own apartment. It's not just a place to eat and sleep, but now it can be a place to live. Great writing to bring that out.
Author's Response: I am glad I was able to convey everything as well as it was in my mind. I wanted to show that, had the attack from Roy not happened, they were ABSOLUTELY headed here very quickly anyway. That Pam’s INTENSE panic over the last day was far more about the acuity of what happened in the office, the adrenaline not leaving her before the next situation happened, and everything becoming public knowledge. The panic itself is not about Jim, and she is fully anchoring herself in the mindset she had the weekend after Casino Night. She was READY to go, to move on and leave the abuse behind.
1 [Report This]Date: June 08, 2023 06:20 pm Title: Chapter 38 - Kiss Me Like You Miss Me
OH THIS CHAPTER IS AMAZING!! absolutely loveeee it! Thanks for the shout! Can’t wait for more, certainly worth the wait!
Author's Response: So very glad I did it justice and that you enjoyed! You certainly helped me flesh it out and I appreciate your help!
1 [Report This]Date: June 08, 2023 06:20 pm Title: Chapter 38 - Kiss Me Like You Miss Me
OH THIS CHAPTER IS AMAZING!! absolutely loveeee it! Thanks for the shout! Can’t wait for more, certainly worth the wait!
Author's Response: :)
Date: June 07, 2023 07:15 pm Title: Chapter 39 - Coworkers & Friends
I really like that the wagons circle up around Pam with Oscar in the lead. Someone who knows a bit more of what she's gone through and how to approach her in a meaningful way. It really shows just how much Pam means to them all that they show up for her like this.
As I said I loved the heart to heart she had with Oscar. Yes it's still early into this whole ordeal, but already she's getting a very clear picture that she has people in her corner. As time passes I'm sure that'll pay dividends.
Michael being like that seems to ring true. He feels it's his right to be the boss where ever they are so of course he just barges in. Good on Dwight and Jim for firmly putting him in his place. Sometimes Michael just needs to be hit over the head with something to get it to stick.
Glad she's still choosing for Jim to stick around too. Feels like that's going to be a very common thing going forward. As always looking forward to more.
Author's Response: I am glad that some of their later-season-selves personalities came through. We saw a lot more of Jim putting Michael in his place as the seasons go on, and Michael actually listening to him and seeking him out for some decisions. I brought that in here, because I feel this would have been a catalyzing moment for everyone in the office.
Date: June 06, 2023 09:06 am Title: Chapter 38 - Kiss Me Like You Miss Me
Big moment for both of them here. Jim really finding his way back to her and settling in for the long haul that it'll mean to be with her. Pam finally feeling safe. I'm sure that's huge for her. She was safe as a girl and had a brief feeling of safety on Casino Night, but I imagine it's been a very long time since she's felt like that. So for her to get to a point where she feels safe to let out her feelings and also start asking for physical affection feels huge.
The fact she asked for the kiss really seems like humongous deal. She's had any number of physical things done to her. So to want to initiate physical affection feels like she's really starting to internalize how different and how much better her situation is now. She's with someone who respects her, who not just hears her but listens to her. She's with someone who supports her and cherishes her. I'm sure it's an amazing feeling for her.
The discussion on the walk back seemed very mature as well. Jim's constant reminders that he's there but also new to knowing how to fully support her. Pam being honest with what she can and can't share was great too. Feels like it's setting up a solid foundation to build on.
So what's going on with the new visitors? Can't wait to find out.
Author's Response: I truly believe that Pam was starting to feel safe, all along, as she was making plans to leave with Jim after (my version) Casino Night. She then had a huge setback when Jim left and she believed she would die. That changed her and brought out far more skittish anxiety & panic. Then, she also had to face the office and babysitting Michael for months without Jim. We saw how chaotic Michael was when Pam & Jim went on honeymoon...I think that would have all fallen on Pam while Jim was in Stamford.
Date: May 19, 2023 05:50 pm Title: Chapter 36 - The Light of Day
Ohhhh you need to stop breaking my heart! This is such an immersive read. Poor thing just wants some security in life!
Author's Response: I promise… she will get it…. Promise, this is my whole hearted love letter to every client I have supported in their own journey out… it will be better.
Date: May 19, 2023 05:50 pm Title: Chapter 36 - The Light of Day
Ohhhh you need to stop breaking my heart! This is such an immersive read. Poor thing just wants some security in life!
Author's Response: d84;a039;
Date: May 11, 2023 08:06 pm Title: Chapter 37 - The River Runs Through It
Another stone in the dam breaks. Hard truths but better to get them out in the light. My heart does break for what this Pam had to go through and also respects the hell out of her for finally getting away from it all, twice! The strength to leave once is one thing, but she found the courage to do it twice. No small feat by any means.
Well done for Jim just letting her scream it all out. She needed it and he needed to hear it, even if it was painful. It feels like he's finally seeing the real Pam, scars and all. Physical and emotional. And he's not going anywhere. Feels like a hard but very necessary step on the healing journey.
Author's Response:
Glad the chapter worked well, and that each space felt appropriate. Really adore Angela, so I hoped to do her AU justice.
Date: May 11, 2023 07:55 pm Title: Chapter 36 - The Light of Day
A nice way to start the healing process for sure. That Pam is starting to internalize that Jim is there with her and he's not going to leave feels powerful.
Angela's backstory does add a lot to her character. It tempers a lot of her harder edges. Almost as if there out there on the farm she can lower her defenses a bit.
I know it's rough for Pam to realize everyone knows what she had tried so hard to keep hidden. She's been living under such a weight and darkness she's not sure what to do now that it's lifted and light is pouring in. I'm sure though she'll find her way.
Author's Response:
Ha! Mixed up review responses and chapters.. lol! Swip swap this response for the previous chapter.
Sooo much courage for both Pam & Jim to yell, face hard things and move forward.
Date: April 28, 2023 08:58 pm Title: Chapter 34 - Kurt & Noelle
I totally believe that Dwight would have notice pam bruises, but if they were noticeable for someone that wasn't as close to her as Jim was, how come Jim never notice? I mean if Dwight notice bruises in her cheek and her wrist why did Jim didn't? He was always at her desk and had lunch with her everyday and never notice? Mmmm.
Just something that kind of bother me, but other that that, great story, keep it up.
Author's Response: Promise it will make more sense as it goes along. Most people see what they have a frame of reference for…. Dwight has known family violence, a family that uses fear and corporal punishment. Jim hasn’t, he has only known kindness and loving relationships. This will be discussed when I give my Jim & Dwight talk later.
Date: April 27, 2023 01:59 pm Title: Chapter 35 - Night talks
I thought Angela's backstory was really great, and really helps to explain her concern for Pam. Loved that she wouldn't let Dwight call her 'Monkey', that was a nice touch.
Feels like Pam's in a really safe place now, glad Jim is there to look after her. And she got a goodnight kiss!
Author's Response:
I am glad the ending didn’t seem too out of place. I wanted to show she was actively working on connecting to Jim and his care of her, that he isn’t Roy. But I also didn’t want it to go ‘too far’ because she is still headspun.
and, there will be more to my Angela… I am looking forward to writing more!
Date: April 25, 2023 09:08 pm Title: Chapter 35 - Night talks
Rough first night for sure. To wake up in a strange room, with all the patterns of your life thrown off along with a lot of what had been hidden now exposed to the light. No wonder she's disoriented. Nice that Angela and Jim are right there to help her make sense of it all. Feels like those panic attacks are going to be coming thick and fast as she starts her journey to healing. However she's also realizing that she's not alone. That she asks for affection feels like a huge step, especially this early. Of course Jim is willing to respond and just be there for her. Good job Jim.
Author's Response: The disorientation and upheaval of coming out of panic and a sedative would make the world feel upside down.
Date: April 25, 2023 08:50 pm Title: Chapter 34 - Kurt & Noelle
Getting this backstory for Angela helps to round out her character a lot. Yes she's still stiff and formal, but she does care. She has her own sense of what right and wrong is for sure, but she's seen something went wrong and she's not going to let it happen again. I like that. Same with cutting through to Dwight like that. Yes Dwight did what he was told, but he needed to understand the why.
Author's Response: I was hoping that Angela could feel like a more nuanced and in depth character, give her more ‘reasons’ for being as stand off and cold as she is portrayed in canon. And, my wonderful Dwight… he needs the whys and what’s for the structure, and then he can understand.
Date: April 25, 2023 12:58 pm Title: Chapter 34 - Kurt & Noelle
OH I LOVE IT! I also noticed the mention of Pam not having words… love it! I can totally imagine Angela in this situation, exactly how you wrote her. Also love the back story. It’s so sweet to see this connection between the two and their softer ways. I love how Dwight is written as not understanding the social cues… but understanding the severity of the situation. He almost reminds me of my autism kiddos at work! :)
Author's Response: I am so glad the nod to Pam not having words caught your eye!
Date: April 06, 2023 09:17 pm Title: Chapter 33 - To the farm
Even though she's out of the hospital, there's still a long road to go in terms of healing. Very accurate picture of the panic attack. One phrase latching on and won't let go despite all outside influence. Felt very real. I'm glad she was able to get the pills down to break out of that cycle and start to get some rest.
Dwight starting to make amends for what he now knows was wrong. Feels like Angela had a hand in that too. I like Angela here. While she is strict, she can be open and kind. I see that here. Especially when there's a job to do.
Dwight trying to not accept any gratitude feels very Dwight. I can hear his thoughts go something like one should not be thanked for doing one's duty.
And then there at the end, she's safe. She's cared for, and she knows Jim will still be with her. It's a very touching scene.
Hope we get more soon. Really liking this one.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. Panic can be different for some and I wrote my own experiences, so I was glad it hit for others as well. I really wanted to hit on the repeating perseverations thought but also show that Pam, at her core, looked for the way out and trusted Jim and Helene to rescue her.
Date: April 06, 2023 09:11 pm Title: Chapter 32 - Discharge
Well goodbye Karen.
Annoying that there are nurses or any healthcare provider who are that obtuse. How hard is it really to even fake compassion to people who have gone through a trauma.
The idea that Roy would be scared of Dwight is an interesting one. Maybe it's because that Roy knew he couldn't intimidate Dwight thus Roy stayed clear. A person who Roy can't control or push around is a person who could see through the fa?ade so yeah I get that.
Time to get out of the hospital.
Author's Response:
I despised writing that nurse, but did not want to portray all medical staff as wonderful and benevolent. Not all are and I am with you…. Pisses me off. But, Dr Paolini is in the image of the many docs I worked with who DID partner with me and let me direct emotionally sensitive cases.
Karen is GONE. Not bringing her back to this story at all.
And that is exactly the reason Roy fears Dwight… not at all ‘figure out able’. Roy only likes those he can schmooze and BS with his initial charm.
Date: April 06, 2023 09:07 pm Title: Chapter 31 - The kindness of friends
Apologies that it's taken me a bit to get to reviewing.
Anyway, nice to see that Jim is making sure she knows he's not going anywhere and also giving her as much agency as possible. Making sure it's ok with her that he can come with her.
Ella saying she hopes to never see Pam again is a great line. One I've used myself over the years.
Then here comes Dwight to offer a place of refuge. Great moment there.
Author's Response:
Same! Ella’s line is mine and I was happy to give it!
I am glad I am continuing to bring the right mix of confusion and dedication of Jim’s canon character to this.
and? Yes… my sweet Dwight is a factor :)
Date: April 02, 2023 03:06 pm Title: Chapter 33 - To the farm
WOW WOW WOW
Author's Response: I am glad it catches your fancy… wow is good? 😊
1 [Report This]Date: April 02, 2023 02:19 pm Title: Chapter 31 - The kindness of friends
OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! I love Dwight. He is the best in this story. Dwight deserves the world.
Author's Response: I have such a gigantic soft spot for him, I read a lot of ‘the psych of characters’ and have seen him described so negatively. I see him as a wonderful Autistic adult who is particular and masks to do his job, but struggles interpersonally. I felt I could bring out that side of him here.
Date: April 02, 2023 11:44 am Title: Chapter 33 - To the farm
You really nailed Dwight here. I can totally see him looking after Pam like this. Hoping we’re going to turn a corner when you return!
Author's Response:
YES! Glad I did!
I have a lot of good thoughts and general outline for what comes next, but want to give my brain a breather after my 6 chapter tornado that happened this week :)
Date: March 31, 2023 10:31 pm Title: Chapter 30 - Reunion
Very powerful moment for both of them. To be honest and supportive at the same time. To know that they're there for each other. The image of them sitting on the floor in each other's arms is a powerful one. Pam feeling in a place of safety where she can rest. Jim knowing this is where he belongs. Right at her side. Powerfully moving for both of them that they can find their way back to each other after all of this.
I did catch the "Without Words" reference there. Nice little tie in for sure.
Author's Response: The moment with the floor kind of wrote itself and happened organically without my preplanning… made me very happy when I read it back d84;a039;