1 [Report This]Date: June 26, 2023 10:46 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh Jim… oh Jim. I can see their date at Poor Richard’s going like this. Very good 😊.
Date: February 26, 2022 07:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
testing something
1 [Report This]Date: May 21, 2021 06:25 pm Title: Chapter 1
Well okay, this one hurt. You did such a good job with Jim here. You know he must have been hurting and confused and all that after transferring and even more so after his talk with Pam. I wish this hadn't ended canonically but you did such a good job with it I can't even be mad.
1 [Report This]Date: December 13, 2020 09:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
Obviously he’s not having quite as bad a night as Pam, but this is a very sad image you’ve painted of Jim faced with a willing, interested and awesome lady and just not able to keep his mind on he, no matter how much he might want to. This description of his inner monologue during their kiss feels like a pretty solid definition of what that entire relationship would be.
And not only was it not your last, it turned out to be a historical landmark. Happy archiversary, and thank you for everything!
Author's Response: Thanks! Getting this review on my first fic was a great Archiversary gift. And this fic holds up, if I may say so.
1 [Report This]Date: July 27, 2018 02:20 pm Title: Chapter 1
I love your writing and I’m glad I found this!
Author's Response: Thanks :-)
1 [Report This]Date: July 27, 2018 12:36 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is nice. I think it still fits canon pretty well and it certainly makes more sense of Jim's headspace then.
Author's Response: Thanks! Yes, the only thing that doesn't quite fit is Jim's comment that Pam started working at DM after him (cuz that was the prevailing thought before S4 Launch Party) but that would be an easy enough edit.
Date: August 31, 2007 09:34 pm Title: Chapter 1
Hey, ladama, I'm just going back to read some of your fic. I really liked this.
Do you still not have a beta? I have to say that your stuff doesn't seem un-beta'd, so you clearly have a really good grasp on things. Anyway, I can beta for you if you need it sometime. Azlin's also a good beta and always really willing to beta. I'm at TooLateKev at gmail dot com.
Date: March 11, 2007 10:49 am Title: Chapter 1
"
Jim found himself thinking that if this were Pam, she would be satisfied, or at least act satisfied with that reaction, and would try to move the conversation on. He could tell by Karen’s narrowed eyes she wouldn’t let him off so easy."
I really like this line. In a lot of fics, Jim compares Karen to Pam and Karen always ends up inferior, somehow, but I like how you've highlighted this aspect of Karen's personality- her directness -that actually gives Karen an advantage over Pam. Great story, overall.
Author's Response: Thanks. I'm not a big Karen fan or anything, but I can certainly understand why he went for her (and her directness was a big part of it).
Date: March 11, 2007 10:47 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh, this was so good! I just read your other story, and I had to check out your other stuff because it was so fantastic. This was just great because it gives us little hints that even this early on, Karen wasn't right for Jim. But you still give Karen her due. She's funny and nice enough. Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks for your kind comments on both of my stories.
Date: December 18, 2006 08:52 pm Title: Chapter 1
Very impressive first fanfic! You really got Jim and Karen's voices down. I'm anxious to read more from you.
6 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 06:36 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow, ladama - I can't believe this is your first fic! (And I should warn you - writing them is addictive; so no, this probably won't be your last.) :o)
I like the way you present Jim's internal conflict here - wanting to move on with Karen, but ultimately finding himself unable to let go of thoughts of Pam. Because I think that's exactly what's happening on the show right now, only (unfortunately) we don't get to be privvy to his thoughts.
This:
"Karen had said something earlier about a self-performed lobotomy and Jim was starting to think it wasn’t a bad idea. Maybe then he would be able to look at Karen and not think about anyone else."
...was just...guh. Very nice, very nice. :o)
One note: You've got several comma splices here (which may be an artistic thing), but I just thought I'd mention that, as 1) some readers are very easily put off by grammatical errors and 2) it's my job (I'm an English teacher.) :O)
But again - what a great job on this! You should definitely, definitely keep writing; I'd love to read more of your stuff!
Author's Response:
Thank you very much for my first review. I have a feeling there will be many more hours of fanfic writing. I already have a couple more ideas floating around in my head.
I'm really happy you liked the lobotomy reference. I wasn't sure how I was going to finish that scene, but then had an "a-ha!" moment when I remembered Karen and the corkscrew in the episode.
Thanks for the comma-splice note. I seem to hit that comma key whenever I finished any kind of thought, so this certainly isn't the first thing I've written that has ended up with gratuitous comma use. I'm certainly going to look out for it now (I feel like I'm already looking out for it in just writing this comment :-) )