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Reviewer: Vampiric Blood Signed [Report This]
Date: August 04, 2007 12:04 pm Title: Keep a strong contrast.

This chapter is so good.  I think you did a great job on the conversation between Pam & Roy!  ...And explaining how Jim knows before he even talks to her that she's decided against it.  Good characterization.

Reviewer: kaystar Signed 9 [Report This]
Date: April 01, 2007 07:59 pm Title: Honesty, Courage

Great story! I love that Jim still had the napkin and gave it back to her. And the last paragraph sounds like the beginning of happily ever after.

Reviewer: EverybodyHurts Signed [Report This]
Date: March 28, 2007 09:01 pm Title: Honesty, Courage

Really nice job on this.  Realistic, and yet hopeful ending with FNB displaying her courage and honesty.  Loved Pam having the courage to place her hand over his on the computer mouse.  And how sweet of Jim to remind her of their first "date."

Great job. 

Reviewer: Semby Signed [Report This]
Date: March 28, 2007 04:36 pm Title: Honesty, Courage

Yay! Fantastic ending. I think you handled the Roy/Pam after-talk beautifully, and I love the return of the napkin, and that sense of hope in the last line :)

Reviewer: Too Late Kev Signed [Report This]
Date: March 27, 2007 03:26 pm Title: Honesty, Courage

Very nice.  I like how your Jim tells Pam that Karen knows something.  Pam could have been more prepared for Karen's little talk in Ben Franklin if that had happened!

I like that Roy is willing to listen the next morning!  That's a nice bit of closure. 

Reviewer: Semby Signed [Report This]
Date: March 21, 2007 06:49 pm Title: Watch the negative space.

Oh, that was a lovely, painful chapter...

Reviewer: sharky Signed 8 [Report This]
Date: March 21, 2007 12:04 pm Title: Watch the negative space.

Yeah! Love the ending you put on this one.

Reviewer: xoxoxo Signed [Report This]
Date: March 21, 2007 08:52 am Title: Watch the negative space.

OUCH.  The imagined aftermath of Casino Night kills me.  Poor Pam. 

PS - the bit you added at the end is perfect!!! 

Reviewer: Too Late Kev Signed [Report This]
Date: March 20, 2007 06:58 pm Title: Keep a strong contrast.

I like your view of the conversation between Pam and Roy, since we never got to hear any of that, just see the end of it.  I could definitely see it going down (I know, TWSS) like that.

Reviewer: Joni24 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 20, 2007 03:08 pm Title: Composition is key.

I agree with everyone, I really like how you connect everything with Pam's art. Keep writing!

Reviewer: xoxoxo Signed [Report This]
Date: March 20, 2007 07:50 am Title: Keep a strong contrast.

Ahhh.  Boys and Girls.  I love how Jim gets riled up enough to break down and really call her on what she's doing. 

I love the way you are using Pam's art as a way to express what she's thinking.  

Reviewer: Semby Signed [Report This]
Date: March 19, 2007 03:10 pm Title: Maintain perspective.

Oh, this is a great concept. I love how she can apply the rules of art to her life. I really, really love this line from chapter 1: "If it turned out to be a mistake... well, she’d fix it. She’d change it."

And you kept the Dundies scene just as cute and fun as it was on screen, but the added depth of what was going through Pam's mind at the time worked really well.

Reviewer: Too Late Kev Signed [Report This]
Date: March 19, 2007 02:21 pm Title: Maintain perspective.

This is really nice.  I like the way you connected the artistic terms with Pam's situation.

Reviewer: Ozana Signed [Report This]
Date: March 19, 2007 02:05 pm Title: Composition is key.

This is a good story.  I like the way you are using her artistic "voice".   More please.

Reviewer: Kathrynann Signed [Report This]
Date: March 19, 2007 11:56 am Title: Composition is key.

You captured Pam's voice really well here.  Loved the flashback, especially the bit about her missing the look on Jim's face when she mentions Roy.  Good job! 

 

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