Date: August 22, 2007 12:37 pm Title: FAIRPLAY
His expression said he thought he might be being teased, but wasn't sure.
That so perfectly captures Andy! It's sixteen flavors of dawesome!
And nice twist, having Devon coming back as the umpire. I'm sure he'll be totally impartial! /sarcasm.
Great job thus far! :)
Author's Response: Woot! Individual chapter reviews? Thank you! I feel special!
Date: August 20, 2007 11:01 pm Title: FAIRPLAY
haha...very funny bringing Devon back. What a great choice. And Phyllis playing for Team Vance. Poor Michael is just having a bad day.
Author's Response: Heh. I've been wanting to bring Devon back for some revenge on Michael ever since he appeared in a deleted scene from "Valentine's Day". This is why I love fanfic.. :D Thanks for your comments, kgarrett!
Date: August 20, 2007 06:06 pm Title: FAIRPLAY
a couple of really minor things
Ch 1 -- Oscar and Phyllis were lining up bats against the backstop then you have "And speaking of which, where's Phyllis? She's late."
Ch 3 -- "Pam, honestly!" Jim said in fake exasperation. ... "I'm going to talk to Devon." He strode off. (Devon hasn't arrived yet)
Other than that, I am really enjoying the give and take -- Michael is painfully in character. And I'm liking the details of sweaty Jim in a tight t-shirt. Yum.
Author's Response: Thanks for picking up those goofs, lisahoo! I have fixed them. I appreciate your attention to detail!