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Name: Annika (Signed) · Date: January 02, 2008 09:53 pm · Chapter: Chapter 1

This one, he thinks, who might be the one mothers tell their sons about.

This one.

Pam Beesley.

 

I love this.  Made me tear up.



Name: Crystalized (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2007 08:29 pm · Chapter: Chapter 2
Awww, poor Jim is about to get CRUSHED.

Author's Response:

But how does he handle the realization?  That is what I want to explore in the final chapter.  I don't think he handles the news in the same manner as most guys would.



Name: Sweetpea (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2007 06:20 pm · Chapter: Chapter 2
Uh oh.  Our boy's just about to be smacked in the face with The Roy Factor!  And he hasn't even had a chance to talk to Pam yet!  Congrats on your first story, Darb!  I loved both of these chapters - there's a very nice rhythm in your writing and I like Mark and Jim's exchange very much.  Looking forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you very much.  The impetus behind this story was what if the thought never crossed his mind that Pam was engaged?


Name: Wendy Blue (Signed) · Date: October 27, 2007 02:38 pm · Chapter: Chapter 1
You did so much with so few words here, I absolutely love it!  Can't wait to see what you have in store :)


Author's Response: Thank you.  I'm pretty pleased with the response so far.  I'm working on the second part right now.


Name: Crystalized (Signed) · Date: October 27, 2007 11:23 am · Chapter: Chapter 1
Ooh, NICE.. SO lovely. Can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Thanks.  That means a lot.


Name: NanReg (Signed) · Date: October 27, 2007 09:08 am · Chapter: Chapter 1
Great job! 

Author's Response: Thanks!


Name: Angryhaiku (Signed) · Date: October 27, 2007 05:37 am · Chapter: Chapter 1
This is a promising beginning for a lot of reasons, but mostly I really like your narratorial voice. I can't quite put my finger on why, but something about your construction makes me think of Garcia Marquez. (That is a compliment, heh.) Anyway, I'm looking forward to more.

Author's Response: Thank you for the positive remarks.  I have to admit that I've never read anything by Garcia Marquez, but I'll trust that it is a compliment. :)


Name: leftofcenter (Signed) · Date: October 26, 2007 08:41 pm · Chapter: Chapter 1
Aw, i loved it. Already...with such a short chapter, i'm hooked. :)

Author's Response: Thanks.  I appreciate the feedback.  I was a bit hesitant to post such a short beginning, but after a few re-writes, I decided to break up the story, rather than post it as a oneshot.


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