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Reviewer: Annika Signed [Report This]
Date: January 02, 2008 09:53 pm Title: Chapter 1

This one, he thinks, who might be the one mothers tell their sons about.

This one.

Pam Beesley.


I love this.  Made me tear up.

Reviewer: Crystalized Signed [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2007 08:29 pm Title: Chapter 2

Awww, poor Jim is about to get CRUSHED.

Author's Response:

But how does he handle the realization?  That is what I want to explore in the final chapter.  I don't think he handles the news in the same manner as most guys would.

Reviewer: Sweetpea Signed [Report This]
Date: October 28, 2007 06:20 pm Title: Chapter 2

Uh oh.  Our boy's just about to be smacked in the face with The Roy Factor!  And he hasn't even had a chance to talk to Pam yet!  Congrats on your first story, Darb!  I loved both of these chapters - there's a very nice rhythm in your writing and I like Mark and Jim's exchange very much.  Looking forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you very much.  The impetus behind this story was what if the thought never crossed his mind that Pam was engaged?

Reviewer: Wendy Blue Signed [Report This]
Date: October 27, 2007 02:38 pm Title: Chapter 1

You did so much with so few words here, I absolutely love it!  Can't wait to see what you have in store :)

Author's Response: Thank you.  I'm pretty pleased with the response so far.  I'm working on the second part right now.

Reviewer: Crystalized Signed 9 [Report This]
Date: October 27, 2007 11:23 am Title: Chapter 1

Ooh, NICE.. SO lovely. Can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Thanks.  That means a lot.

Reviewer: NanReg Signed 9 [Report This]
Date: October 27, 2007 09:08 am Title: Chapter 1

Great job! 

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: Angryhaiku Signed [Report This]
Date: October 27, 2007 05:37 am Title: Chapter 1

This is a promising beginning for a lot of reasons, but mostly I really like your narratorial voice. I can't quite put my finger on why, but something about your construction makes me think of Garcia Marquez. (That is a compliment, heh.) Anyway, I'm looking forward to more.

Author's Response: Thank you for the positive remarks.  I have to admit that I've never read anything by Garcia Marquez, but I'll trust that it is a compliment. :)

Reviewer: leftofcenter Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: October 26, 2007 08:41 pm Title: Chapter 1

Aw, i loved it. Already...with such a short chapter, i'm hooked. :)

Author's Response: Thanks.  I appreciate the feedback.  I was a bit hesitant to post such a short beginning, but after a few re-writes, I decided to break up the story, rather than post it as a oneshot.

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