Reviews For Allentown
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Reviewer: albie_ Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 07, 2007 07:52 pm Title: Chapter 5 - That's When I Need My Father's Eyes

That was a beautiful chapter. Every nuance of it. So glad I discovered this story.


Author's Response: I'm so glad you did, too, albie_!  So far, this chapter gave me the biggest headache, so I'm very happy you enjoyed it.  I hope I didn't jinx myself by saying that because I don't want to know any more than I already do about Pam's creative slump!  Thank you so much for the review!

Reviewer: TotoDarling Signed [Report This]
Date: December 07, 2007 02:21 pm Title: Chapter 5 - That's When I Need My Father's Eyes

Oh, I loved this!
Please keep adding!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, TotoDarling!  What a great screenname!  I'll be updating within the next couple of days, I hope.  See you then!

Reviewer: I_Still_Believe Signed [Report This]
Date: December 07, 2007 01:51 pm Title: Chapter 5 - That's When I Need My Father's Eyes

great chapter! i love the direction you've taken with this story. well done! can't wait for more!

Author's Response: That's so great to hear (read?), I_Still_Believe, because this is a little darker than anything I've done.  It's not the usual Jim-Pam angst and there are so many other writers who have done that far better than I could.  Besides, I'm still recovering from the angst of S2 Jim and S3 Pam!  And then the damned strike cut my recovery short! I'm off work until next Wednesday, so I hope to have at least one more chapter up by then.  Thank you for the review!

Reviewer: rulesofjinx Signed [Report This]
Date: December 07, 2007 12:03 pm Title: Chapter 5 - That's When I Need My Father's Eyes

I LOVE IT! seriously? Jim is SO cute with his parents! I love the way you've written them. just... precious! This is a great chapter of flashback to the beginnings of their relationship, and I love seeing him learn from his parents' marriage. you're amazing. 

Author's Response: So nice to read this, rulesofjinx, and thank you so much for leaving reviews.  It was fun to write about Pam meeting the Halperts and I always imagined that they would love her just like Jim does.  Mr. Halpert, the Elder...I can't help it, he's pretty much my Dad and even though my Mom didn't have a single creative bone in her tiny Italian body, this is what I imagine it would have been like with them.  For better or for worse, right?  Thank you for all the encouragement, I really appreciate it!

Reviewer: Becky215 Signed [Report This]
Date: December 07, 2007 10:16 am Title: Chapter 5 - That's When I Need My Father's Eyes

Absolutely, positively, painfully, perfectly, impossibly lovely. Well done, my friend. I loved how you wrote that love scene, and the dynamic between the Old Halperts and Young Halperts was fantastic in its realism. Great job!!! -CH

Author's Response:

I'm not ashamed to admit that I squealed a little when I read this review, CH!  Nothing better than reading something like this from someone who has given me SO MUCH pleasure from her own writing.  Jim and Pam needed a little lovin' here and I'm so glad you liked it because that one paragraph probably got fiddled with more than anything.  I appreciate your sweet words so much and thank you for the awesome rec on the boards, too

Reviewer: NanReg Signed [Report This]
Date: December 07, 2007 09:32 am Title: Chapter 5 - That's When I Need My Father's Eyes

Almost forgot:   "I asked her if she was dreaming about Matt Damon again and she said ‘yeah…how do you like them apples?’" LOVE that line from the movie.  Always makes me smile.

Author's Response: TWO?  Tuna, are you kidding me?  You're so...GREAT.  And I LOVE that line from the movie, too!  I think I fell in love with Matt Damon in that moment! 

Reviewer: lisahoo Signed [Report This]
Date: December 07, 2007 09:04 am Title: Chapter 5 - That's When I Need My Father's Eyes

Oh, Miss Pam.  When I was pregnant with my second I lost all my creative energy.  I know just how she feels.  And you can want everything to stay the same, but once that child comes, your priorities change so much and things that were once such a big deal don't seem so important.

Even though they are tough times, it is so encouraging to see Mr. & Mrs. Halpert making their way through the world.  Sigh. 



Author's Response: Lisahoo, never having been pregnant my own self, I only have the stories of others to go on, so I'm thrilled that you connect with what Pam's going through.  She's got a great cheering section with Jim and his folks, though, so I think she's going to be okay.  Thank you so much for the review.  I've said it before, but it bears repeating:  you are such a wonderful reviewer and I appreciate seeing your comments so much.

Reviewer: NanReg Signed [Report This]
Date: December 07, 2007 09:03 am Title: Chapter 5 - That's When I Need My Father's Eyes

Sweetpea, this warmed my heart and broke it at the same time.  So dang good!  You have such a knack for capturing Jim's personality, and I love his parents : )  Thanks for this update.

Author's Response: Oh, Nan, thank you so much for the sweet review!  I was afraid that Jim's parents might be a little too prickly with each other, but Jim has such a quick, sarcastic wit and such a fun back-and-forth with Pam, that he must have grown up with that dynamic between his parents.  Challenging to write characters we've never seen, but the Halperts were a lot of fun to write!

Reviewer: CashBasket Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: December 07, 2007 08:59 am Title: Chapter 5 - That's When I Need My Father's Eyes

i love the way jim's parents banter and bicker and finally come to rest with jim and pam...especially in this line they’ve seen this storm come and go and I would be wise to keep my mouth shut and listen for once.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, CashBasket!  I struggled trying to imagine Jim's parents without interjecting a bit of my own into them.  Jim's Dad is quite a lot like my own father was...a bit crusty on the outside, with a gooey, melty inside and always ready with the advice about treating each other with kindness and sometimes having to give the whole 100% to the marriage when your spouse is going through a rough time.  I'm glad you're reading and enjoying this!

Reviewer: LoveFool Signed [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2007 09:31 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Mrs. Halpert, in the Art Room, with a Secret

You know, I find it so interesting what you've done here in terms of an entire story being built around a comment.  Isn't that how life goes? Someone you respect makes one inane comment that probably meant very little to them and was completely innocent, and it can set the course of your life for awhile.  I hope Pam gets her groove back. :-) 

Author's Response:

Ack!  I clicked "Submit" way too fast on my previous response and didn't thank you for the review.  So, I'm thanking you twice, here!  Thank you, thank you!

I can think back to teachers' comments as far back as grade school, and some of them...I can remember every last detail and can see what an impact they made on me, both positive and negative.  Even though what Gil and Oscar said about her drawings really hurt Pam, they didn't have the same effect on her. 

Reviewer: LoveFool Signed [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2007 08:53 pm Title: Chapter 2 - Mrs. Halpert Goes to College

Ok, love the cute and silly names Jim comes up with for the baby when he gets home! That was the bright spot, in an otherwise pretty sad chapter. :-( ....I hope what Pam said at the end about it being her sweet life is really true for her.  Otherwise her professor really pissed me off!  Not that he didn't make completely realistic points...but still. ::sigh:: on to chapter 3! Kinda glad I missed these initially, so now I have a lot to read!

Author's Response: It was intended that "my sweet life" is totally true for her, LoveFool.  She's just a little adrift with herself right now, but she's crazy in love with Jim and happy to be expecting, but I think she's apprehensive about the changes that are coming for her.

Reviewer: LoveFool Signed [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2007 08:34 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Beesly Guide to Trimming Your Tree

Ok....hellish, hellish business trip. Oh Sweetpea, I love Christmas, and  LOVE a Jam Christmas more than anything!  How adorable was the first Christmas gift, and then the baby booties....LOVE. i think my favorite moment was when Jim was talking about not being able to really see the "personality" of a tree because he didn't have her artistic bent nor was he slightly insane. lol. I can't wait to see where this is going!

Author's Response: I'm so sorry I'm late in responding, LoveFool.  I really love thinking of these two sharing their first Christmas together.  In my twisted mind, Roy probably took some of the fun out of it for Pam by not going along with or indulging her excitement.  Jim would just embrace it all, even if he doesn't quite get the tree thing!  Thanks so much for the review!

Reviewer: Sharipep Signed [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2007 04:44 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Mrs. Halpert, in the Art Room, with a Secret

i love this story. its so realistic and well written and a great character study of the Jams. I do feel like this is the calm before the storm? But I don't mind being wrong. :D

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for such a sweet review, Sharipep!  I'm not giving anything away, but I have such faith that these two can weather any storm, so don't worry.  The Halperts are pretty tough cookies.  More soon, promise!

Reviewer: rulesofjinx Signed [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2007 09:34 am Title: Chapter 4 - Mrs. Halpert, in the Art Room, with a Secret

poor Pam! I don't like it when she forgets who she can be. Hopefully Fancy New Beesly will regain some of that Fancy Newness? I'll be checking for updates on your lovely writing to find out! 

Author's Response:

rulesofjinx, Pam is struggling, and trust me, that is fun for no one!  I could never just leave her like this, but she's on a bit of a journey.  Thanks so much for reading and reviewing and I'm working on chapter 5 but Jim is giving me a bit of a hard time (TWSS).  Soon, soon!

Reviewer: Colette Signed [Report This]
Date: December 03, 2007 06:47 am Title: Chapter 3 - Goodnight, You Moonlight Ladies

You know I love this story, but this chapter is especially fine. (And Sweet Baby James? That's hitting me in the nostalgia bone big time ;-) Just so real and true to character - Pam shorting out on it all, her weariness, Jim desperate to reassure her - completely convincing. So warm and intimate - they really read like two people in love here. Well done! (And I LOVE Jim's comments about the 'stash box' and offering her his tie - too funny.) 

Author's Response:

Colette, this one is my favorite so far, too, so I'm really glad you liked it, as well.  I wavered a long time over having Jim actually sing a few lines from Sweet Baby James, but the lines from Lennon's Beautiful Boy were just too perfect for what they'd talked about.  I was trying to get a theme going with the chapter titles, but I was stumped with this one until I thought of Jim rocking her and then it just popped in my head. 

I can't thank you enough for these wonderful reviews.  You're so great and so generous with your praise.  It makes all the agonizing and editing and rewriting so worthwhile.  And makes me want to get chapter 5 done that much more quickly, so I hope I see you here again soon! :-*

Reviewer: EverybodyHurts Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 08:02 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Mrs. Halpert, in the Art Room, with a Secret

I love Kellie, she's such a hot ticket and Pam needs a woman friend right now.  I feel so sad that Pam is really locking herself away from her art, both physically and mentally.  Can't wait for more.

Hope your headache got better today.  If you had tried to jump out the window, I would have thrown a rope and lassoed you back in, so there would have been no escape from me stomping my feet, demanding more chapters. :)



Author's Response:

Kellie may, uh, bear a resemblance to a certain, ahem, author.  ;)

So good to know you'd break my fall...sort of!!  Yes, the headache did improve...after I added the last chapter.  I really do have to lighten up a little bit.  But just today, I caught a bit of a timeline error and I can't BELIEVE it considering the number of times I read and edited, so THAT's why I'm so anal about it. 

I can't thank you enough for being so supportive and so encouraging.  I appreciate it so much!

Reviewer: EverybodyHurts Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 07:48 pm Title: Chapter 3 - Goodnight, You Moonlight Ladies

Aww, I love when they cuddle and talk in fics.  I thought it was wonderful that Jim persisted until he finally said something that made her feel better.  Sigh.  He'll just do anything for that girl.

But, "You totally made our baby a stash box," was my favorite line in this chapter.  I can hear Jim saying it over Pam's indignation.  And "It felt good to make something solid," is a great line.  Pam is exploring all these other crative endeavors because she can't face her art again just now.  She's afraid of failure right now.  Damn pregnancy hormones.



Author's Response:

EH, how much I love reading your reviews!  The "I'm not letting this go" line from Jim was a very, very late addition.  I wanted him to go through the typical guy reaction cycle first...the prof's an asshole, stupid, doesn't know anything.  Oh, and he made you feel really bad?  I'm kicking his ass.  Then, I'll tell her what to do....until he arrives at the right thing:  I'm here for you, I'll help you, don't worry. 

Your Pam comments?  NAILED IT! </Andy>  And I was chuckling to myself over the stash box as I was writing it...how dorky is that?  When you're sitting alone in your apartment chuckling at your own writing?  You need to get out more.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for these reviews! 

Reviewer: kaystar Signed 8 [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 07:39 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Beesly Guide to Trimming Your Tree

I just loved Pam's excitement over unpacking her ornaments during their first Christmas. And how sweet that on their second Christmas Jim gave her a first christmas together ornament and she gave him little white booties.  Such sweet and warm Hallmark moments. 

Author's Response: Hee!  I'm so glad you liked this, kaystar.  That's kind of my own personal thing with ornaments and I thought I'd share that with Pam.  Remember her excitement when she opened Jim's teapot?  Yeah, Pam likes Christmas ornaments.  Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: EverybodyHurts Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 07:30 pm Title: Chapter 2 - Mrs. Halpert Goes to College

This is so realistic, how you've keyed in on the dilemma many of us women have:  how to wear all those hats at once and not go crazy.  The old Superwoman syndrome.  And as happens so often, our own selves get pushed aside by the demands of work, home and family.  Can't wait to see where you go with this.  Poor Pam.

And it was interesting that she was trying to do a series of pictures of hands.  Reminded me of Gil's comment.  Was that on purpose?



Author's Response:

You're amazing!  Yes, it was on purpose, so I'm thrilled you picked up on that.  I also think it's typical of someone in Pam's shoes to subconsciously set herself up to fail.  There are a million things that she could have decided to work on that might have turned out great and given her confidence a boost, but she picked one of the hardest things to draw, and it just reinforces her own feelings of inadequacy. 

Thank you so much, EH, for such a thoughtful review.  It makes me feel so great that you're reading this so closely and catching all these little things!

Reviewer: supergirlsudz Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 06:48 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Mrs. Halpert, in the Art Room, with a Secret

Whoa, it's an early fanfic Christmas present! I love the structure, the first-person POV, how you're portraying Pam's issues with her art. I can totally relate. Especially the part where Kellie is complimenting her drawings and she can't truly believe it. Ah, so good! 

Author's Response: sudzy, that's so wonderful to hear.  I'guess a lot of us have been at that low point where our faith in ourselves and our abilities gets shaken to the core and that's right where Pam is right now, the poor thing.  Writing the conversation with Jim in chapter 3 just wore me out - going to that place where you feel unworthy of and pressured by the support and encouragement from someone who loves you.  Man, that's a tough place to be.  Ya gotta have faith, though.  I can't let anything too awful happen to our girl!

Reviewer: EverybodyHurts Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 06:45 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Beesly Guide to Trimming Your Tree

Ok, so if I actually nudged you into posting this, I'm really, really glad.  And four freakin' chapters!  That's like second drink squared, I guess.  Or something.

So let's see what I especially loved in this opening chapter besides Jim's POV, which I always have a special fondness for.  Oh yeah, this:

 I picked Taller and told her it was because the tree had a jaunty personality, and she agreed, saying it reminded her of me. 

Heh.  Jim = Tree.  Smort.  Climbing ensues.

Arrgh!  This line made me cry in the OR today!

 And no matter how many Christmases we have, I’ll always remember the second one because she gave me something I didn’t even know I was wishing for.

Good thing I'm sitting behind the drapes giving the anesthesia so nobody can see me all weepy.  And why are the words so big all of a sudden???

And this?

“I’ll help you find it.”

Had me laughing out loud.  Seriously.

The start of another classic for sure. :)

 

 



Author's Response:

You totally nudged me and I spent a good portion of yesterday getting these chapters posted.  I'd tinker, I'd edit, I'd paste it into the interface and read it and tinker some more, fix the formatting, hit preview, fix, adjust, lather, rinse, repeat.  But I'm so glad I finally got them out there so I can start on chapter 5.  And I'm glad to see someone else had some formatting problems, too!

I originally had Jim pick "Fuller" and then I thought of the Taller=Jim=tree thing and I KNEW someone would make the connection to CLIMB.  God love you for that!  I'm sure there were some readers who were totally grossed out by the mucous plug, but it's so damned funny to me.  You work in the OR - you've seen it all - so probably nothing can gross you out! 

Thank you so much for being such a cheerleader and a faithful reader and such a great reviewer.  You rock so hard.

Reviewer: NanReg Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 04:35 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Mrs. Halpert, in the Art Room, with a Secret

Two more solid chapters, Sweetpea.  So wonderful.  I have to admit, I think I'm partial to Jim's POV.  You capture him so well. 

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Nan.  I'm secretly (okay, not so secretly now!) partial to Jim's POV, too, probably because it comes more easily for me.  Pam is really hard for me to nail down, and she's in a terrible funk right now, so there's not a lot of joy in Pamville.  I'm not going to give anything away, so I'll just say thank you for being such a faithful reader and a regular reviewer.  So great to hear from you.

Reviewer: lisahoo Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 01:05 pm Title: Chapter 3 - Goodnight, You Moonlight Ladies

Aww, Jim.  Sometimes there is just no reasoning with a pregnant lady.  Sometimes we just need to know you'll be there for us.  (Pam in prenatal yoga is super-cute).


Author's Response:

Jim is a pretty wonderful guy, but like most guys, he wants to DO something, he wants to fix it so Pam won't be sad and cry.  He's learning, though.  Personally, I wouldn't mind seeing him kick that prof's ass.  Thank you for the review, lisahoo!

Reviewer: lisahoo Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 12:47 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Beesly Guide to Trimming Your Tree

Ok, I think this was the best chapter of fic I've ever read that used the phrase 'mucous plug' so often.  Yes, Pam, some aspects of baby-making are really gross.  You'll get used to it.

"I have you and you’re making me a baby."  HA!  Like she's knitting him a scarf. A really long stripey scarf.



Author's Response: You are too funny, lisahoo!  Yeah, Pam better get over the idea of retaining any sense of dignity at all.  So true about the scarf and I didn't really think of it like that, but so funny.  Hey, is there a Dundie or maybe a coupon for Chili's for mentioning 'mucous plug" most often in a fic? 

Reviewer: AvilaGrace Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 12:23 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Mrs. Halpert, in the Art Room, with a Secret

Oh man.. the last part made me want to cry. my heart got a bit heavy there... I feel that way about writing when anybody reads my stuff. I can't imagine the emptiness I would feel if it didn't excite me when someone said "hey, this is really good." if you truly love something, that stuff does excite you, and I think it's more that Pam is trying hard NOT to care about design and art more than she really doesn't love it anymore. If she didn't love it anymore, I doubt she'd be so reluctant to show it off.

And two kelly/ies.... wow, you are a brave soul.

Great chapter! (hope this review excites you!)



Author's Response:

It does, it does!  And now, AvilaGrace, I'm going to admit to you and everyone else in the circle that I didn't even realize the two Kelly(ies) deal until I read this review!!!  Oh my God!  But you may have just given me an idea....

Anywho, you totally nailed where Pam's head is right now.  Her confidence has been shaken and she doesn't want to love something that's betraying her and eluding her.  Our girl's really struggling with this whole thing and she's in a bit of denial.  But it's only chapter 4, so who knows what might happen!  Thank you so much for the review.

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