10 [Report This]Date: March 10, 2008 02:14 pm Title: Chapter 8
God! PAM! Come on!! If you don't come to your senses then I am not only going to smack you, I am also going to get in on the action Jim so desperately needs! :P
Author's Response:
Ha! I tell you, I don't know why I always end up writing Pam as so frustratingly...static; I just really believe that she'd be so freaked out at the thought of her carefully planned life suddenly changing. Sigh.
And yeah, I think the line for giving Jim the action Pam won't is forming to the left. :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: March 10, 2008 02:09 pm Title: Chapter 8
Ending the work day with a little girl7 angst--now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! Keep writing, girl. Loving this.
Author's Response: Heh - glad you liked it! I'll be working on it tonight, I promise. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: March 10, 2008 12:38 pm Title: Chapter 7
Dear Pam & Jim,
Oooh, get the tension out in the car! Either by yelling or making out, take your pick!
Sincerely,
Crystal
P.S. girl7 - you are so descriptive with feelings, it's very impressive
Author's Response:
Hah -- well I'd vote for making out as a way of working through the tension; it's much more...peaceful. ;oD I'm really glad you're enjoying this -- and the next chapter is on its way!
Thanks so much for taking the time to review!
Date: March 09, 2008 04:55 pm Title: Chapter 7
Pesky cliffhangers : ( I'd like to propose a toast to punching up the sexiness. Cheers! Now bring it, sister!
BTW, another fine chapter. Jim's eyes fall on Roy's hand, an entirely unwelcome thought flitting through his head: He's touched her everywhere. Whoa...and ouch!
Author's Response:
Heh - "Now bring it, sister!" :oD I promise I will bring the steam; it is on its way.... Glad you liked that little detail; it just occurred to me as I was envisioning the scene -- I could picture Roy touching something on Jim's desk, sort of leaning on it, his hand at Jim's eye level. And I figured that thought might be something that would pop into his head, you know? The kind of random little detail that makes you feel even more miserable. :o)
Thanks so much for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: March 09, 2008 02:14 pm Title: Chapter 7
ugh I'm dying. This story is my life right now. Update soon or I might literally spontaneously combust from the wonderful wonderful girl7 tension.
Author's Response:
Well listen, to get a review from you is high praise indeed, as your writing never ceases to blow me away. (Seriously.) I promise I'll be updating very soon -- like, within the next hour! :o)
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: March 09, 2008 02:06 pm Title: Chapter 7
Oh, poor doofus Roy -- so freaking clueless that he is pushing those two together. I think I hear a kettle beginning to boil...
And yay for a traveling Mr. Girl7, so I (hopefully) won't be in limbo here for too long. (you're killing me here!)
Author's Response:
Heh heh -- poor doofus Roy indeed! I'm feeling some serious Roy guilt for portraying him as such a big lout here, but...well, he was one for a while before Hot!Roy emerged. (And you know how I love Hot!Roy....)
Yesh, you know the drill: when the husband is away, the wife sits around and writes like a fiend. :o) Next chapter'll be up very soon -- within an hour or so!
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: March 09, 2008 09:12 am Title: Chapter 7
Ohh, Girl7. This is too much (in a good way!). Poor Jim, poor Pam...I'll even go so far as to say poor, unsuspecting Roy. I have a feeling that his life after the poker game will look nothing like it did before. Pam's too...Jim's also for that matter. Definitely looking forward to the awkward/hopefully enlightening car ride home.
Ooh, and I must mention that I totally dig the vignette-esque style form you've got going on here. I love how present this chapter almost as a series of revelations Pam has. Great!!! And wahooo for a speedy update!!
Author's Response: Why, thank you! :o) Yeah...I'm being a bit relentless on poor Roy here (usually I characterize him in a much more sympathetic light). I'm glad you're enjoying the form of this one, too -- it's a little different than my usual, I think. Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: March 09, 2008 07:22 am Title: Chapter 7
I feel as if I'm emotionally attached to this story. The tension and awkwardness between them is spot-on to how I always thought it would be after Casino Night if he stayed in Scranton. It's not just Pam and Jim are upset and then they talk it out and it's all good. The tension is dragged out a bit throught this chapter like it would be IRL.
Author's Response:
Grrrrrrrr -- I'd written this long response to your review, and it got eaten! So let me try this again. :o) I'm glad you found their behavior here believable; I really do think they'd have responded much the same way had they been forced to continue working together. I actually think that's one of the things that was smart about writing in the transfer (even though that came from the British version, if I recall correctly): It enabled the writers to get Jim & Pam past all the angst so that they could start taking tentative steps toward one another again. Granted, I'd have loved to have seen more angst than we did, but it's a comedy, and I know most of the audience doesn't feel that way. So....
Anyway, thank you so much for your review!
Date: March 09, 2008 06:05 am Title: Chapter 7
I love how you're forcing them to deal with the aftermath of the kiss and the confession. Pam is trying in vain to return to the "friend" zone, and Jim will absolutely have none of it. It's all or nothing for him. So good. He's angry, desperate and seeking escape and....now they're going to be alone again. Can't wait. Pour yourself a nice glass and get going on that steam!
Author's Response:
Well I know the whole Roy-forcing-Jim-to-drive-Pam-home thing might be a bit contrived, but I wanted to do exactly what you mention -- force them to deal with the aftermath of all that's happened. I do believe that had they been forced to continue working together, they'd have reacted that way -- Pam trying to deny and hide; Jim stubbornly refusing to take steps backward.
I'll be posting the next chapter in just a little bit, so....
Thanks for reviewing!!
9 [Report This]Date: March 09, 2008 04:06 am Title: Chapter 7
OH MY GOD. *flails* I'm desperately looking forward to the next chapter. You have totally succeeded in creating tension, even though I knew I was running quickly out of scrollbar, I gasped aloud at the end of the chapter. Such perfect heartbreak! I think I had tears in my eyes most of this chapter. ...And the last two. (I've been making little notes about previous chapters but I've been too enthralled to write reviews! I'll go back for them soon!) SO glad to hear the next chapter is on it's way! Loving it!
Author's Response:
Your little "*flails*" made me giggle right out loud. :o) And eeee, I'm really glad to hear you were affected so much by the chapter! I'll be posting the next chapter in about an hour or so....
Thanks so much for taking the time to review!
Date: March 09, 2008 01:15 am Title: Chapter 7
ACK! GAH! W:LKH:AOSDIH! This story has temporarily shortcircuited my ability to think and type coherently. Dear Lord this is amazing!
I'm a fan of many of your stories, but this is the first time I've been able to review any of them. (I finally got off my keister and registered at the site today) I came across this on the recently updated page and read all seven chapters in one sitting. And what a reading it was! Incredible dialogue, beautiful insight into both Pam and Jim, and your creation of the Halpert siblings is just AMAZING. But perhaps my favorite thing is how cleverly you've woven so many key canon moments into this completely AU story -- the poker flirting, the quiet chat over old photos in Jim's bedroom, the sad but brilliant lines following Jim's declaration of love...it's all really spectacular.
Although I'm super stoked to hear that you've got new chappy's coming (and quick!) to save us all from the evil cliffhanger, I have to admit that the chapter immediately following the love reveal and kiss was my favorite (Ch. 5? I think?). You did an amazing job of getting inside of their heads and hearts. I particularly loved Jim's convo with Josh and Pam's convo with her mother -- both were absolutely note perfect and so painfully revealing. Just beautiful!
An amazing story -- can't wait for the next installment!!
Author's Response:
Woo hoo for a new reviewer! It always thrills me when someone says he/she registered to leave a review for the first time. :o) I'm also so glad to hear you say that you found the glimpses into their heads believable, because that's all I was concerned with doing -- exploring and then presenting a realistic depiction of what might've gone through their heads had Jim confessed sooner. So you like the canon bits? Yay! That's also something I wanted to do with this one -- allude to some of the moments we did see on the show, only in a different context.
Finally -- it was such a relief to hear you say that the long chapter with the conversations was your favorite, because I reallyl had been worried about it. It's difficult, I think, to maintain a reader's interest when there's no action going on (per se).
Thanks so much, again, for your thoughtful review! :O)
Date: March 08, 2008 10:06 pm Title: Chapter 7
YES!
I love the way you write Roy/Jim dialogue. Also, the running commentary courtesy of Jim is ACES.
Thank you for reminding us that Jim is sullen and dejected - it seems like we always see him so happy-go-lucky that it's easy to mentally picture a happy Jim instead of the tortured one you present us with (which, of course, this story wouldn't work without!) It's a nice way to remind your readers to shift gears, and much appreciated!
Again, Thank You for the POV you bring to the fandom. It is truly a richer place due to your efforts.
Author's Response:
Wow, what a thoughtful review -- seriously. I'm really glad you like the depiction of Jim here, because really, I think he'd have been absolutely miserable if he'd had to continue working with Pam post-confession. (Not that he wasn't miserable in Stamford, but....) And I have to admit, I really had hoped we'd see a more tortured Jim at least at the beginning of last season. I understand why we didn't, though (as moping isn't exactly tantamount to comedy gold). :o)
As for the last bit of your review -- WOW. Thank you so much; that's just an incredible thing to read, seriously. Thanks again for the thoughtful review!
Date: March 08, 2008 07:52 pm Title: Chapter 7
Wow. Just, wow. No words :)
What an awesome chapter. I just love how you use the subtle descriptions of what Jim and Pam are feeling to really fuel the story and give it its soul. It's really a fantastic read, I look forward to your updates every time!
Can't wait to see how the drive home goes :)
Author's Response:
Okay, I'm smiling really big right now, because for some reason, I heard Jim's voice in my head when I read the beginning of your review (the "wow" bit) -- and of course, hearing Jim's voice...? Always a good thing. :o)
I'm so glad you're enjoying this -- I'll be updating in an hour or so! Thanks for reviewing!
Date: March 08, 2008 07:47 pm Title: Chapter 7
Oh, wow, this is setting up beautifully! I simply love the tension you've built and how heartbreakingly painful it is. I cannot wait to see the car ride home. Excellent work!
Author's Response:
Yay, I'm glad you think so! I was afraid the bit with Roy asking Jim to take her home would come off as too contrived. I just couldn't resist the urge to throw them together -- alone -- in a situation wherein they can't escape it all that easily. I'll be posting an update in a few hours, so....
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: March 08, 2008 07:38 pm Title: Chapter 7
Ooooo! The plot thickens!
You portrayed the angst and heartache brilliantly in this chapter. Looking forward to Jim and Pam's ride home!
Author's Response: Yesshhh, the plot thickens. :o) I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter -- the car ride home will be posted in just a little bit. Thanks for reviewing!
Date: March 08, 2008 08:21 am Title: Chapter 6
Girl7! you are my hero! I absolutely love your Jim & Pam stories, and I have spent some delightful hours reading (and rereading!) them through. I don't review nearly as often as I should, but please know that you have given me much joy in your writing. Please keep it up!
Author's Response:
Okay, well you're MY hero for your lovely comments! :o) Seriously -- you made my night. This is my first foray into fanfic (writing about TO, not this story), and I actually began writing just because I was fascinated by the characters and all that's left unsaid -- but I had no intention of anyone ever seeing a word of what I'd written. Needless to say, to be able to post it and get feedback is just the most amazing thing. I've said it so many times, but it bears repeating: I write because I really love it (seriously, I'm sadly excited at the prospect of spending a Saturday night writing), and to have someone say that what I've written makes him/her happy is just the best. Really. :o)
So thank YOU -- and yes, I'll keep it up! (The husband is leaving for a business trip tomorrow, so I'll spend the next three days writing and posting.) :o)
Date: March 04, 2008 11:28 pm Title: Chapter 6
God! Reading Pam's POV is so gutwrenching! Great chapter and I think it goes without saying that Pam's Mom rocks.
Author's Response:
Thanks so much! I really struggled with that chapter -- particularly because I found it so difficult to really articulate what I thought Pam might be thinking. And yes, I officially fell in love with Mrs. Beesly just from the two minutes we saw of her in SH. Like, I wish she were my mother.... :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: March 04, 2008 09:10 pm Title: Chapter 6
Oh my god you're KILLLLLLLLLLLLING ME!!
I love it.
But, really - this isn't one of those stories where 14 chapters later they'll be apart for life and miserable, right? You're going to fix this at SOME point, no?
Please??
Author's Response:
Bwah! Seriously -- I take it you've not read anything else I've written...? Because trust me, I am a shameless happy ending whore. (Well now that just sounded all kinds of wrong, didn't it?) :o)
Seriously, though -- I love angst, but I don't write the drawn out misery without taking it to a happy resolution. (Now one shots are a different story....) Much as I love reading the stuff that starts dark and stays dark (have you read Dinkin Flicka's "And You Could Have It All..."? It is incredibly dark -- seriously dark -- but so beautifully done), I think I love these characters too much to leave them in misery. Or maybe it's just that I'm pathetic -- who knows? :o)
In any case: Yes, you have my word that I'll make this all better. And I also am a fan of going beyond the happily ever after -- meaning I like to take it a chapter or two after the resolution, because I really do love writing Happy!Jim & Pam. :o)
So glad you're enjoying this -- and thank you for reviewing!
Date: March 04, 2008 08:53 pm Title: Chapter 6
I'm skipping devastated Jim for the moment, because I just love your portrayal of Pam in this chapter. She wants someone to call her out and reinforce her guilty feelings, to tell her that she is absolutely doing the correct thing in turning Jim down, but no one will. Not Jon, not her mom, and even Roy is too clueless to pick up on the real reason for her being upset. It's coming as quite a shock to her that Jon and her mom are possibly even suggesting that she should consider whether she should even go through with her marriage. And I love Mrs. Beesly, she's so wise.
And Roy, you're really not helping yourself here, dude! Ha.
And your remark that "This is a fairly long chapter" just made me smile from ear to ear. So feel free to continue.
Author's Response:
Gah, thank you so much, EH! Really, for some absolutely bizarre reason, I've always found it easier to get inside Jim's head than Pam's (which is truly weird, as I'm about the girliest girl you'll ever meet). So I really struggled with this chapter -- wanted to try to convey why she would've walked away from him after hearing a confession and kissing him back. I keep saying in review responses that it all goes back to just how long she's been with Roy -- when you think about it, he's the only man she's ever really known that way, so probably just picturing her life with someone else (even someone as amazing as Jim) would have to be incredibly daunting and jarring. Add to that the fact that Pam's not exactly confident or sure of herself, and I think it makes sense that she'd be questioning what she's feeling for Jim, wondering if it's just some freakish mood or fleeting emotion.
And Roy....listen, I generally write Roy in a sympathetic light (because I have a huge soft spot for David Denman...and okay, so yeah, I thought Hot!Roy was...well, hot), so I'm feeling a bit guilty for how I'm portraying him here. But I'm trying not to go too over the top with him; I don't think he'd have ever been abusive to Pam...just oblivious to her needs and emotions.
As for the fairly long chapter comment -- hee. :o) The next one after the one I just posted (it'll be chapter eight) will be a lengthy one as well.
And yes, in case you were wondering: That is, in fact, what she said. :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: March 04, 2008 05:38 pm Title: Chapter 6
Guuuuuh! That was great/sad/amazing/tragic/frustrating/maddening/fabulous...should I go on? You have an incredible ability to elicit like 9000 emotions from me at once, which is awesome! Your Jim is just so utterly heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time. I just want to hug him and...well, I won't go into that. But let's just say that if Pam doesn't get her act together soon (and it's you, so I know she will), I'm free. Seriously, Jim, anytime.
No, but in all seriousness, this was great. You write Pam to be so realistic. I can't imagine having to end a ten year relationship--one that's headed straight for marriage--would be anything close to resembling easy. It's not just the comfort factor, either. There are so many factors going into why it would be difficult for Pam to leave Roy, and you've articulated each and every one of them so beautifully.
In conclusion, Pam has finally had a taste of what she really wants, of what she really deserves, and I have faith that she'll eventually come around to the fact that the only thing scarier than going after Jim is not going after Jim.
Author's Response:
Your first paragraph just had me laughing -- I imagine you shaking your hand beside your ear and mouthing, "Call me" at Jim. Hee.
I'm really glad that you found Pam realistic -- I mentioned in a previous response that while it's easy for us to see so clearly that she'd be INSANE to marry Roy and let Jim slip through her fingers, we have to bear in mind that Roy's been a constant in her life for ten years. The longest I ever dated a guy before Mr. Girl7 was four years, and it was a man with whom I had NOTHING in common (he was a lot like Roy, actually, though a bit less boorish). Still, when it was time to walk away, I had a really difficult time -- felt incredibly guilty and insecure. And that was after only four years with a man I knew I didn't want to marry. So I can only imagine how it would be for Pam.
(That was a TMI tangent -- sorry 'bout that.) :o)
Really, though, I'm so glad to hear your thoughts on this chapter, because what you expressed is exactly what I was trying to convey -- that it'll be incredibly difficult for her (read: messy and not quick), but now that she's had a taste of what it could be like with Jim, there's just no way she's gonna be able to stand still.
(And BTW, the last sentence of your review was just lovely.) :o)
Thanks for reviewing!!
Date: March 04, 2008 05:27 pm Title: Chapter 6
Okay, sweetie...now you've got me nearing the edge. Pam - really! Jim and his cutie-patootie bro's vs. freaking Roy?!? Sorry, don't meant to trivialize, cause fact is, your Pam is as sympathetic as she is maddening. And no one writes destroyed Jim like you (do I enjoy that a bit too much?) I liked Mama Beesly playing the Michael role too - giving Pam the engaged ain't married pov. Very clever. As are you ;-) More.
Author's Response:
Again, I say: Here, have a nice glass of pinot grigio and trust that I'll make it all better by the end. :o) I think we share a mutual love of destroyed Jim, actually. (And how could we not, given how absolutely delicious JK is when he's looking tortured? Guh.)
And gah, you always catch the stuff I'm hoping comes off -- I did want Mama Beesly to echo Michael. :o)
Thanks for reviewing (and enjoy that wine)!
Date: March 04, 2008 02:48 pm Title: Chapter 6
Oh, jeebus, I'm dead. You just love to wallow in the angst & drag the rest of us along with you, don't you? Methinks Miss Pam is beginning to see a lot of differences between Jim & Roy....
Author's Response:
lisahoo, I am a total angst whore -- you know this!!!!!!! But you have to give me credit: I may drag you down with me, but I always make it up via a happy ending. *cough* What? :o)
Thanks so much for reviewing; you rock!
10 [Report This]Date: March 04, 2008 02:19 pm Title: Chapter 6
girl7, this chapter was incredible! You write angst so well!
Your description of what Pam must have been feeling that night (and casino night) is spot on with her character.
Cannot wait for more!
Author's Response:
Ah, thank you so much! As I keep saying, I had my worries with this one, but I really felt like it was important (for the remainder of the story) that I explore what was going on in Pam's head. Because while I think it's really easy for all of us who're watching to think she's insane for not having run off with Jim that very night (heh), the fact is that she's been with Roy for such an incredibly long time -- and that carries baggage, emotional weight.
That said, she will work through it. :o)
Thanks for reviewing!
Date: March 04, 2008 02:16 pm Title: Chapter 5
Damn! My response was eaten. I said something about how I like that you had Jim speak where previously he had remained silent. And then not keep his mouth shut where he needed to. And yet the result was the same: I can't.
Your promise of a seatbelt keeps me hangin' on! HA!
Author's Response:
I have to say, as brilliant as I think CN was, I was incredibly disappointed by GWH. I know it's a comedy, so they couldn't very well just wallow in the angst, but I don't know...I just found the whole "Okay" then walking away a little too easy. I would've loved to have seen Jim push her just a little -- because after all, she did kiss him. Sigh. But they're together now, and that's what matters, right?
Well I hope the seatbelt promise lives up to your expectations! Another little detail: I sent the chapter to my beta the other day, and she suggested that I rachet up the steam another notch...and her instincts are always spot on, so I'll be spicing it up just a bit more. :o)
Thanks for reviewing, as always!
Date: March 04, 2008 01:57 pm Title: Chapter 4
Your poor husband - that's quite a tale!
This chapter was excellent. I really like the mixture of emotions that Pam was feeling. It can be overwhelming being the new person coming into a group that tightly knit and then to be the only girl in a group of guys adds another layer. You wove that into the regular JAM confusion so nicely.
Author's Response:
Isn't it, though? I just cannot imagine saying that to a guy on the first date -- much less before the date even started! Very weird. But it makes for a great worst first date story, right? (Not as good, mind you, as being left at a hockey game....)
I'm glad you enjoyed the dynamic of this chapter; it was a lot of fun to write her interacting with the Halpert boys. I have no idea why I'm so fascinated by the idea of Jim having two brothers who are sweet and awesome like he is, but in slightly different ways; maybe I'm just trying to subconsciously clone Jim or something.
What's that? He's not a real person? Oh. Well never mind, then. :0)
Thanks for reviewing!