Date: August 11, 2008 05:07 pm Title: Waterloo Sunset - Part One
BA, you are killing me here! I had such hopes for some lip action in this chapter! I am looking forward to meeting ... and ditching? ... Michael & Dwight later tonight.
One little suggestion I might make with the Britishisms: You might want your beta (Jinxcoke?) to be extra vigilant about excising them from Jim's dialogue. I think they fit in Pam's thoughts or speech – they show she's picking up the local lingo. But when they come out of Jim's mouth, it seems a bit out of character. Just little things like:
- Americans don't "er" we "um"
- I can't see an American guy saying "Thanks for looking after me Pam". He'd say "Thanks for taking care of me, Pam." We just don't do a whole lot of "looking after" over here.
These are piddly little things, though, in the big picture. Thoroughly enjoying the ride! And looking forward to seeing more of London!
Author's Response: VB! Thank you for your review...you never know, part 2 may reward your patience. Also, thanks for the quick language lesson. I want Jim's voice to be as realistic as possible and so I'll try and eradicate all those irksome 'Britishisms' in future. Most of them simply pass me by - who knew (well obviously I didn't) that Americans don't "er" you "um"! We do both here. I'll see if Jinxcoke can take a firm line with me.
Date: August 11, 2008 10:58 am Title: Waterloo Sunset - Part One
So happy to have an update, BAx. Love this story. Anxiously awaiting Part 2.
Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review NanReg. I really appreciate it. I hope to have Part 2 up soon - hope you like it.BAx
Date: July 22, 2008 07:51 pm Title: Landing in London
oh! and my email is fathalpert21@aim.com if you are willing : )
Date: July 22, 2008 07:44 pm Title: Come Back to Camden
hey, i have been reading your stories for a while and i really enjoy all of them. i was wondering if you could beta for me if it wasn't a problem.. if it is that is ok!
Author's Response: Thanks for your kind review, Bushiest Beaver. I have sent you a message re beta request. BAx
10 [Report This]Date: July 20, 2008 05:56 pm Title: Come Back to Camden
I truly love this story, Blind Assassin. I was so caught up in this chapter that I was disappointed when it ended. I hope you can update soon. The chemistry you've conjured up is amazing.
Author's Response: NanReg, thanks for your review. I'm so glad that you are enjoying this and that my attempt at creating chemistry seems to be working... Let's just hope I don't foul it all up later...that's confidence for ya!BAx
Date: July 20, 2008 05:33 pm Title: Camden Town Rain
I live in Oxford and I never thought I'd read an Office fic that mentioned Witney! It's lovely seeing these characters transposed to a place with which I'm very familiar and your description of the London underground is spot on!
Author's Response: Hey there Grape Soda. Thanks for the lovely review...it's a tad weird writing about Jim and Pam walking around London and flat out bizarre imagining Dwight listening to blanket stories in Witney! Thanks again, BAx
8 [Report This]Date: July 20, 2008 05:00 am Title: Come Back to Camden
Hi
It's time I reviewed this story. First let me just say that I really like it. I imagine that this is how Jim and Pam could have been like if they'd embraced big city life. I actually think I like them even more as modern and urban city-dwellers.
I love how you've placed them in London, which is one of my favorite cities. The idea of them at the National Gallery was very real. I can imagine Pam spending a lot of time there. And I love how you singled out the portrait of Emily Bronte . I can imagine Wuthering Heights being a favorite of Pam's. So sweet that Jim remebered.
Some of my favorite lines:
"She knew that she would never be able to take it slow with Jim; it would be all or nothing and Pam wasn’t sure if she could live with herself if they failed. "
I think that's exactely how Pam felt after Casino Night. Good description.
" Pam, as was often the case, found herself looking at the small and unassuming portrait of Emily Bronte and not for the first time thought that the young woman pictured looked as though she wanted to escape the frame."
This is so true. I've seen that picture a couple of times and there is something uncomfortable over Emily Bronte. I think you caught this nicely.
"She kept staring ahead as she felt his fingers touch her own. He rubbed the pad of his thumb against the underside of her index finger and slowly, achingly slow, she let his hand envelope her own. It was enough. In the small gap that separated them and out of view of everyone, they held hands and it had rendered them both speechless."
Awhhhhh......so sweet.
Please update soon. I cannot wait for that drink with Michael and Dwight.
Author's Response: Thanks Pisa for your generous review. I’m pleased that you are enjoying the story and that my view of how Pam felt after Casino Night didn’t seem way off to you. Re the portrait of Emily Bronte...it staggers me that someone with such a passionate and soulful voice could look so unassuming in that painting. Whenever I'm at the National Gallery I go and look at it and I simply cannot reconcile the woman pictured with what I imagine the creator of one of the most powerful novels of the time, if not of all time would be like. I hope you enjoy the next chapter.BAx
Author's Response: Thanks Pisa for your generous review. I’m pleased that you are enjoying the story and that my view of how Pam felt after Casino Night didn’t seem way off to you. Re the portrait of Emily Bronte...it staggers me that someone with such a passionate and soulful voice could look so unassuming in that painting. Whenever I'm at the National Portrait Gallery I go and look at it and I simply cannot reconcile the woman pictured with what I imagine the creator of one of the most powerful novels of the time, if not of all time would be like. I hope you enjoy the next chapter.BAx
9 [Report This]Date: July 18, 2008 09:26 pm Title: Come Back to Camden
I like this. Pam and Jim in London. Great Pam POV, even if she's lying to herself. Okay, maybe just to her friend, but still. The hand holding was ridiculously hot. Can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review nimblejack! Glad you are enjoying the story and especially pleased that the 'hand holding' worked for you...I know it's quite a chaste move on Jim's part but it represents a giant leap for them I think. Thanks again, BAx.
9 [Report This]Date: July 18, 2008 08:38 pm Title: Come Back to Camden
BlindAssassin, I'm so glad you picked this story up again! I was afraid you were letting it go. I love your explanation of why Pam didn't call Jim after breaking up with Roy:
it was because she was scared of committing to another future. She knew that she would never be able to take it slow with Jim; it would be all or nothing and Pam wasn’t sure if she could live with herself if they failed.
I can't wait for them to go back to – ?
Author's Response: Vampiric Blood, so glad you are enjoying this. Life has been a bit hectic of late and getting time to write can be difficult but I'm really invested in this story and so I'm letting the laundry pile up and the weeds conquer the garden, so that I might get through the next few chapters.BAx
Date: July 18, 2008 07:45 pm Title: Come Back to Camden
Pa-leeeeeeease don't make me wait long for the next chapter of this wonderful story!
Author's Response: Sorry it took me so long to post tellsomebodyit. I hope to have the next part up soon. Thanks for sticking with my little story.BAx
10 [Report This]Date: July 18, 2008 07:14 pm Title: Landing in London
love. it. (and Morrissey)
I can't wait for Waterloo Sunset (one of my favourite songs ever!)
I like the thought of Jim and Pam in London...sorta makes the past really the past and gives them an opportunity to start over, no?
I also love Pam's friends, they remind me of the group of friends in every British romantic comedy (in a good way, like Bridget Jones' friends)
Fantastic story...keep updating please! I just found this and read all 4 chapters at once, I feel a little sad now that I've come to the end of what's been written! Will Jim meet Pam at Waterloo Station (every) Friday night??
Author's Response: bowie-in-space, thank you so much for your review. I'm glad that people are receptive to the idea of Pam and Jim knocking around in London - it's fun to write, but a little surreal. For some reason I can't get the song Waterloo Sunset out of my head; it's always been one of my favourites. Thanks again.BAx
7 [Report This]Date: July 18, 2008 06:49 pm Title: Come Back to Camden
I really enjoyed this chapter and I think I've said this before, but I do so appreciate Jim and Pam in an entirely different element. Creates entirely different dynamics. I'm looking forward to what happens next.
Author's Response: Thanks albie_. I am so enjoying showing Jim and Pam around my home town but sometimes it's a little difficult to visualise Jim riding on the tube or Pam walking down Camden High Street...and believe me, I spend a fair amount of time visualising Jim riding on the tube...or showering...or, well doing anything that requires him to be naked! Thanks again.BAx
10 [Report This]Date: July 18, 2008 05:52 pm Title: Come Back to Camden
REACH FOR HER FUCKING HAND!!!!!
Author's Response: Wow...BAx
Date: July 18, 2008 05:31 pm Title: Landing in London
I am so excited to see an update! I love this story and it's another great chapter. Can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: hues8, thanks so much for the support. I'm working on the next chapter as we speak and I hope to have it ready before I go away this weekend. Thanks again!BAx
Date: July 18, 2008 01:52 pm Title: Come Back to Camden
Oh, don't EVEN tell me you left it there! Awesome day kicking around London for those two. Sigh.
Author's Response: Hey lisahoo! I'm a total 'fic tease', I know it. I try to avoid the ever-obvious stop off point, but I'm a hack, what can I say! Thanks for the review.BAx
7 [Report This]Date: July 18, 2008 01:38 pm Title: Landing in London
Great story! Can't wait to read the next chapter :-)
Author's Response: Hey there Salame! Thanks so much for the review.BAx
9 [Report This]Date: July 18, 2008 11:48 am Title: Come Back to Camden
This story is awesome! Do not leave us hanging for so long on this one!
Author's Response: Thanks mhp614...and sorry it has taken me some time to post this chapter. The next part is 50% finished and so hopefully I'll get it posted sometime next week. Thanks again for the review! BAx
Date: June 10, 2008 01:46 pm Title: LDN
Great story -- just finished all three chapters. I hope there is more.
You did a great job of describing your town. I especially loved how they meet at the top of the escalator... very dramatic moment for both of them. I visited London many moons ago and I loved the energy of the city and it appears that so does Pam.
The visual of Jim in a pub drinking a pint is hot!
And thanks for bringing Michael and Dwight for the ride.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review Alamos! rnrnI often get hung up on the 'Jim drinking a pint' visual and find it hard to concentrate on much of anything else. Yummy!rnrnAnway, I am busy with Chapter 4 but won't get to finish it till next weekend as am off on a week's hols from tomorrow. Hope you like the next instalment. BA
Date: June 07, 2008 08:16 am Title: LDN
I enjoyed this chpater! The dialog worked nicely.
I also enjoy looking for your little Brittishisms! The street was "heaving" with people. Never heard that before.
Well, I'm looking forward to Tuesday's lunch. Here's hoping kinda implies a very tenouos relationship!
Author's Response: Thanks so much Vampiric Blood! I guess I didn't think of the term "heaving", in the context in which I used it, to be a 'Britishism' and so now I know. I glad you are enjoying the story. The lunch date (and that's 'date' with a small 'd') is on its way and let's just say that lunch turns into dinner and dinner turns into a party and so on... BAx
Date: June 06, 2008 07:25 pm Title: Landing in London
This is a great piece. Excellent descriptions, and the whole thing flows nicely. Can't wait to read more :D.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing Kestrel! I hope you enjoy the rest.rnBA x
10 [Report This]Date: June 01, 2008 09:30 pm Title: Landing in London
Ohh, I love this! I recently got back from my first trip to London, so these places are very clear in my mind and fun to read about! (Camden Town was my favorite!)
Author's Response: Thanks, the dominantmalekitty. I used to live about 15 mins walk from Camden Town and it was just my most favourite place to hang out on a Sunday afternoon. I loved the markets, the creperie stall (probably more than was healthy)and just the buzz of the place. I miss it. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story.rnBArnx
Date: June 01, 2008 08:45 am Title: Landing in London
Oooh, can't wait for them to see eachother! Loving this story so much!
9 [Report This]Date: June 01, 2008 07:47 am Title: Camden Town Rain
This is great! I cannot wait to read what is next! Don't keep us hanging on too long!
10 [Report This]Date: May 31, 2008 10:00 pm Title: Camden Town Rain
I really like the premise here and I also appreciate Pam and Jim in an entirely different setting(yet still Pam and Jim).I'm looking forward to what these three years have been like for the two of them and what this meeting will bring.
Author's Response: Thanks albie. I have to say this is quite tough to write as three years is a long time and so they will both have accumulated some baggage along the way and changed (perhaps not fundamentally) their outlooks and even their dreams. Still, I shall do my best as its fun to imagine Jim sitting on a tube train or wandering round Camden Town. Scranton feels like a very long way away to me.
9 [Report This]Date: May 31, 2008 09:09 pm Title: Camden Town Rain
I'm really enjoying this! I hope you have a lot of songs lined up!
Author's Response: What a great penname! Thanks for taking the time to review. I'm not really sure how many songs/chapters I'm going to get through. I would say 4(ish), but brevity isn't my strong point.