Reviews For Right Outside
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Reviewer: happy bunny Signed [Report This]
Date: August 16, 2008 10:20 am Title: Chapter 1

Great idea. I love this story.

Reviewer: EmilyHalpert Signed [Report This]
Date: July 16, 2008 01:29 pm Title: Chapter 1

That quote bugged me also, because I was like their first kiss was at Chilis. But man, I like this version better. I mean, its kind of heartbreaking, because at this point, it takes like 3 years for them to get together, but it keeps it so in character. Because its like Pam did complain about Roy to Jim, and them doing lunch out is perfect. And the quick kiss, that happens whether they want it to or not (when they so clearly do). Just, great. :)

Reviewer: honeypioneer Signed [Report This]
Date: July 13, 2008 08:30 pm Title: Chapter 1

Great take on that line...I really enjoyed this! :)

Author's Response: thank you!

Reviewer: Dwangie Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: July 12, 2008 08:59 pm Title: Chapter 1

great work! loved it!

Author's Response: thank you!

Reviewer: Vampiric Blood Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: July 11, 2008 09:05 am Title: Chapter 1

This is very nice, bigtunette!  You include so many details that add richness to the story.  LIke these two:

“He’s just being, well, an ass about the whole thing,” she snarls, carefully poking a hole in a cherry tomato so it won’t squirt when she stabs it like she’s so wanting to.

“Back to work,” she almost whispers, pushing the door to Dunder-Mifflin’s suite open and striding through it, a little too quick, though you’d only notice if you knew Pam’s gait as well as he did.

Just beautiful!



Author's Response: thank you! I was certainly trying to add as many "emotional details," as it were (hi, I'm pretentious), in this short story.

Reviewer: JennInTheCity Signed [Report This]
Date: July 11, 2008 08:49 am Title: Chapter 1

Interesting take on it! When I watched the episode, I was totally thinking Casino Night too, but you're right - their first kiss WAS at Chili's, not "out there." Cool premise!

Author's Response: thank you! I think by "first kiss," Jim was referring to the first kiss they both definitely consented to, so Chili's doesn't count because of, I guess, the fact that Pam was drunk.

Reviewer: I_Still_Believe Signed 10 [Report This]
Date: July 11, 2008 07:09 am Title: Chapter 1

Oh, I was hoping someone would write a fic about that quote! I did have to force myself to assume that in the episode he was talking about Casino Night, but I also think it's the job of obsessive fans to disect every little tidbit. So, well done! This was really sweet!

Author's Response: Thank you! I just assumed that's what he meant, but hey, it was a good outlet for a story. And I'm surprised I'm the only one that's written one so far!

Reviewer: lisahoo Signed [Report This]
Date: July 11, 2008 06:19 am Title: Chapter 1

Hooray for more Jam kisses.  Those are always good  ;o)  This was a sweet little imagined scene, BT.

Author's Response: Thank you! I agree with more JAM kisses; after "Job Fair," I will settle for no less than one makeout session every episode. ;)

Reviewer: NanReg Signed 9 [Report This]
Date: July 11, 2008 06:14 am Title: Chapter 1

Oh, I really like your version of things, big tunette.  You convey so well how Jim must feel.  Poor guy didn't stand a chance.

Author's Response: Thank you. Oh, how I love the Halpert.

Reviewer: Beeswax Signed [Report This]
Date: July 11, 2008 05:47 am Title: Chapter 1

I like this.  With Jim's phrasing in Goodbye, Toby, I wondered if he was speaking of another kiss that we never saw.

 I love this paragraph:

Her lips touch his cheek, and the skin’s so unexpectedly soft and even. She feels the strange tattoo of stubble she can’t see against her face, and she swears, she can feel the heat move up, notch by notch, on his face. She tries to resist, then, but she’s spent the past hour and a half complaining almost non-stop about her fiancé, imagining the tendrils of a different world moving out to ensnare her. His lips are a magnet, but when hers touch his, it’s more than a little bit like when she lolls in her sheets on weekend mornings, all smooth and coiled energy.

That was dreamy.  Great work!



Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I wondered that for just a second, and obviously for this story.

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