Hey, thanks for the response! To be clear, I think the balance itself between showing and telling was good--it's more about the language itself. And again, there was no danger of distracting, or getting too sidetracked in the monologue, but making sure that the language itself doesn't stray into "slightly wordy" territory goes a long way to striking that good balance. :) But overall you did a good job with it. If I found it too much, I probably wouldn't have read the whole thing, honestly. :)

Anyway, thanks for engaging me in the conversation about it and being open to discussion. Do you have more fics in the works?