1 [Report This]Date: December 28, 2020 01:05 pm Title: Jim
This is very poetically written. And I really like the idea of Jim's fear and their past still looming over him - "terrified that it was 2006 and my life was a countdown clock" is a good line and also feels a lot like something that would in fact haunt Jim.
Author's Response: I definitely spend way too much time overthinking every sentence I write, so I appreciate the affirmation :)
1 [Report This]Date: October 09, 2018 12:09 pm Title: Jim
Oh I love those early days of love when you will do anything for someone. I love what he remembers of the time in NY with her; so lovely. And I see that her going to NY would terrify him, thinking that he might lose her. You captured so many beautiful emotions in this letter; i dig the unique format.
Author's Response: This was a bit of an experimental story for me, so I’m glad the style worked for you! Thank you for reviewing!
Date: August 26, 2018 09:29 am Title: Jim
There are a few things I really loved about this letter.
1. I loved this line/technique the most the first time you used it: "...we ate them on courtyard benches with fresh orange juice and I love you I love you I love you." I enjoyed it being in the middle of a paragraph, in the middle of thoughts, as if that one thought took over and he couldn't recount everyday life anymore.
2. The paragraph where he describes waking up thinking it's 2006. I could totally see this happening.
3. I especially liked how he says that he'll work at DM forever if he has to, considering how his feelings change on that. I love that injection of bittersweetness for the readers, since we know what happens and Jim, at this point, doesn't.
Nice. :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for both of your thoughtful reviews! I really wanted to capture the deliriously in love state that Jim must have been in during the early stages of their relationship, and the “I love you” ‘s in the middle of the paragraph were the only way I could image Jim portraying that emotion, so I’m glad to hear that it was in character.