Date: July 28, 2019 12:41 am Title: Just wanna keep calling your name until you've come back home
Pam putting THAT dress on, only to have the wind knocked out of her in the worst way, was devastating! I can see why she’d be cautious to rush into any sort of reconciliation in the present day. I say this every time, but this may just be my favorite version of Karen to ever exist...
Author's Response: Aw, thanks, JB! I'm glad the added pain of THAT dress came through for you cause I hesitated with it, but it felt too right to add to Pam's pain. I'm so glad you enjoy this version of Karen! The next chapter is from Karen's PoV; I hope you will enjoy it.
Date: July 23, 2019 02:39 pm Title: Just wanna keep calling your name until you've come back home
Okay, so first of all, the fact that Pam is sitting here thinking about how everyone else is moving onward and upward and that spurring her to actually do something is great. Fancy New Beesly needed a kick in the ass, right?
Making up scenarios in her head is just so REAL and also heartbreaking because sometimes I remember that this was a TV show and things "just happen" for characters because it was "meant to be," but here she is acting like a lovesick puppy and your characters are less fictional and more real.
Oh. Oh she's. She's *wearing the dress*. Do you enjoy seeing me get emotional? Because it gets worse. Because she *walked in on his engagement party* DC. THAT HAPPENED. Her BIG JIM GESTURE led her STRAIGHT TO HIS ENGAGEMENT PARTY. Ya done did it.
I cannot imagine the embarrassment and fury and literal hell hole of emotions that she went through, but you seem to have put it all into these little eloquent words that made me cry (on vacation, mind you) and I just.
Can I just say that I love your Paul and Karen? They're the best. Especially since Paul is as mad at Jim as the rest of us and wanted to do something about it.
Pam realizing that she "didn't set anything on fire" is fucking HEARTBREAKING. She wanted to do something, and she couldn't, and she lost him, and this is the most tragic kick in the ass to change your lifestyle that I've ever experienced.
The fake Facebook killed me the second most. Maybe it's because I empathize. maybe it was the descriptions of the wedding hashtag and how I felt like I was in Pam's shoes as she scrolled. How do you do that? How do you make me feel like I'm living inside these stories?
(Also. Hannah is *that* Facebook person that I want to punch. Was anyone *really* concerned that Nancy's dress would fit? Were they?)
I love that you still have Pam being timid, even in New York. You don't just move across the country and change lifestyles. Pam does things in baby steps, so I love that, while she moved to New York, she wasn't all of a sudden being super bold and painting the town red, but she was still eating lunch by herself and not going to museums yet.
Of course, when the snap happens, it happens big. And I love that she deleted social media. Such a bold move, honestly. Why am I proud of a fictional character?
I LOVE Kelly's involvement here. She WOULD be a NY fashionista with Urban Decay samples. However, if there isn't a scene where Pam and Ryan do drugs together, I'm going to write FanFiction about your FanFiction.
"Did we break each other?"
No, but DC BROKE ME, THANKS.
"My boyfriend Drew." *snorts*
Honestly, DC. You write the whole "sulking over an old love" story TOO well. The bit about the pictures was EVERYTHING. Of course she still had them. Of course she got nervous about going into the pictures app.
But what killed me the most? You use *that* picture. You gave a story to *that picture.* And the "I love you so fucking much" ACTUALLY shattered me. I have no idea why. But I did cry. I did have to put a hand to my mouth in shock because that line ended me.
And now I need more. Holy shit. I bow.
Dude. Your reviews are so freaking amazing and you have no idea how much I appreciate them.
First of all, you pick up on all these little things like the dress (I don't care if it was over the top; I went for it), THAT picture that you knew right away, and the Drew thing (I snorted when I saw that you snorted). But also, I really love that you appreciate the heartbreaking moment with the whole "I didn't set it on fire" thing. Cause I think that was such a Pam thing, to see everyone around her be brave or know they would be and she isn't and then live with the regret of that. I'm so glad that worked.
You are so right. No one in the history of the world gives two figs about Nancy's dress. Also, there will be only one more reference to Ryan and it won't be that. (I mean, Idk, I say that but this whole thing was supposed to be three short chapters and I have 20-ish planned now so there's really no telling.) BUT I can think of a story where Pam and Ryan's bad behavior could be fleshed out (no pun intended) nicely... ;)
Thank you SO MUCH for reading, reviewing, and feeling these characters. You're the best.
Date: July 19, 2019 11:12 pm Title: Just wanna keep calling your name until you've come back home
D'aw. I loved the "It was a ‘hello, old friend’ hug. Nothing else" because I'm a sucker for (near) title quotes. But also this did a great job of tugging the heartstrings while also giving us more of that wonderful, wonderful Pam-Karen friendship.
Author's Response: Hey, you! Thanks for this, especially your continued support of Pam and Karen's friendship. :)
Date: July 19, 2019 11:41 am Title: Just wanna keep calling your name until you've come back home
I gotta tell you, it’s not rare for one of these stories to bring up real emotion in me. I truly get very invested and as stupid as it might sound, I truly feel the stories. I feel happiness, fear, anger and I’ve even been known to cry when reading a few. I have to say though, it’s pretty rare that I get the emotions that I’m getting from the story you’re telling. I get that twisting sick feeling that is riddled with anxiety in my stomach. It’s almost a feeling of dread. Like, I’m anxious and eager to read what you’ve written but I also truly dread it. You’ve made me feel a real burning anger at Jim that, well, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt quite like this. For him to just let Pam go, not even try to get her back after all he went through to have that relationship in the first place, it just makes me kinda livid. The fact that he jumped not just into sex, not even just a relationship but an engagement and marriage so soon after Pam, while she was still hurting over him.... I don’t even have words to describe exactly what that makes me feel. Makes me feel like he never deserved her. I remember in season 9 in the episode Paper Airplane when Jim and Pam finally had that breakthrough. When he was leaving for Philadelphia and she went after him with his umbrella and he finally took her in his arms, I remember during that thinking, Jim you need to DO something. You need to make her understand that she’s the MOST important thing to you or you’re gonna lose her and you probably won’t get another chance you certainly won’t deserve one. Here in your story we basically see the other result play out where he didn’t make the move to save things and actually did what Jim does, jumped into a rebound relationship where I have no doubt he never loved her and he put them all through so much pain. I’m dying to know so much more about how and why the engagement happened. Pam thought that in pictures Jim’s parents didn’t look so thrilled, or awkward or something, I’d love to know her w family and friends felt. I’m also wondering if Hannah’s dad had anything to do with the engagement and marriage. I don’t know, probably stupid but I keep thinking something like, ‘if I’m going to invest in the company I’d feel a whole lot better if you were married to my daughter’,or something like that. My thoughts are so all over, I swear this doc is shattering me. Like I keep thinking of Pam being at the engagement party, all dressed up and ready to get Jim back only to stand there and have to see them together. Also her looking at Hannah’s social media, it cut to MY heart when I’m reading where Hannah is posting saying he's her soul mate or whatever and saying about just needing to wait... those things had to literally crush Pam. I mean, I would think it would make it feel like everything she felt about her own time with Jim became nothing, was wasted. Certainly Pam had felt that she was Jim’s soul mate and I know she had to wonder if Jim now felt that Hannah was his. Oh oh and what really gets me is none of this would have happened if Pam’s dad hadn’t felt the need to make Jim fl so insecure and like he wasn’t enough. The one thing I will say is if Hannah’s dad was in favor of th relationship/marriage it had to be a real boost to his ego after what he went through with Pam’s dad. I do hope that Pam knows or at least finds out that her dad is the sole reason he didn’t propose. It doesn’t take Jim completely off the hook because after the way he fought for that relationship I felt he owed it to Pam to talk to her about her dads comments and how he felt about it and how Pam would feel about getting married without her dads blessing. At the end of the day, they were very much adults and Jim needed to man up and not lose her because of her dad. Anyhow, I could probably go on forever with my scattered thoughts about this one. I have to say though, I think your an extremely talented writer to bring out such raw emotions in me from just reading this. I mean, when I think about the story I feel that rawness, the twisting in my stomach. I cannot wait to read more.
Oh, man. Where to begin. I mean I've read this a few times just to process, and first of all thank you for taking the time to read and review this so thoroughly. I mean, when writing I always appreciate when some sort of emotion is evoked but I don't think I ever meant this! When I read it the first time I wanted to write the next chapter, make it sappy, and call it the end just to get rid of the twist in your stomach when you read it. :)
But you really hit on so much. I do think this has turned into my Appreciation Manifesto for Season Three (the benefit we got from them growing independently) and Cautionary Tale for how bad Season Nine could have been. And an unintentional theme that has developed here is "what happens when you just let life happen?" for both of them really and then how do we try and fix that in the right and wrong ways. While I certainly don't want to have you riddled with anxiety over this I am So Incredibly Thankful for the insight. It really does help to know how much to flesh out why these idiots keep doing what they're doing with reviews like this. BUT, I do hope that it turns around and eventually your stomach isn't twisting in knots to read this. :) Thanks again for the feedback!
Date: July 18, 2019 12:16 pm Title: Somebody that I used to know
This story is truly outstanding. The writing, the angst, the raw emotion. It’s great and I anxiously await your updates.
Author's Response: Wow! Soupsnakes, thank you so much. I appreciate that. Hopefully another update will come soon. Thanks for taking the time to read and review.
Date: July 18, 2019 07:27 am Title: Just wanna keep calling your name until you've come back home
Fuck fuck fuck!!! Well you answered my earlier questions that I pretty much already knew the answers to... and fuck!!
When I first read “did you know I was there“ a few chapters ago this is what was going through my head...
Somebody said you got a new friend
Does she love you better than I can?
There's a big black sky over my town
I know where you're at, I bet she's around
Yeah, I know it's stupid
I just gotta see it for myself
(Dancing on my own, Only the more emotional Calum Scott version) And yeah, I need some Ben and Jerry’s and a super fluffy fic now. You are so good.
Oh man! BoY your reviews are too kind! I appreciate you taking the time to read and review. I won't lie; it brings me some (granted, evil) pleasure to elicit four fucks AND the need for Ben and Jerry's out of you. :D I'm only a little sorry.
And that SONG! That VERSION! Oh! It is so good and mopey. I have to add it to the playlist for this fic. Thank you!!
Date: July 18, 2019 03:27 am Title: Just wanna keep calling your name until you've come back home
That flashback was perfect. And so painful. I truly cannot imagine what that was like to see and then find out he changed his number. Double punch to the gut. I will be really curious to hear Jim’s side in all this. And Pam catfishing (ish!) especially after Jim tried to search for her on social too over the years. The whole move to NY makes 100% sense now. Especially relating to the fact that seeing everyone she stalks have this great social life too, and she feels left behind or stuck. I won’t lie, I would love to see Jim’s reaction if/when (hopefully when) this all comes out and she tells him she went to get him back. I feel like it’s such a keg thing that broke them even more, especially given her move to NY’s impact on him. There’s a part of me too that of course thinks they can only be happy together and heal together but sometimes reading this IDK. Personally I’ve never been a big fan of Pam being the “guilty party” in relationships so hopefully Jim thinking about getting her back too for awhile comes out to alleviate some of that. Always takes two.
This review is way too long now but alas, excited for what’s next. Even if this kills me sometimes
Author's Response: Man, Bayjb, you hit the nail on the head every time with these reviews. Everything you said is so true about real relationships; even the right and perfect ones are complicated and messy sometimes. I hope you continue to enjoy this story.
Date: July 18, 2019 03:22 am Title: Just wanna keep calling your name until you've come back home
DC this is so good. I love this universe. I love the detail you're including. The angst is so...delicious. She showed up at his engagement party? Ugh. Karen is such a good friend. Kelly being an influencer. It's all perfect.
Author's Response: Oh, Sprinkles I always appreciate your reviews so much. Ha! And to hear that the angst is delicious is, well, that's a compliment of the highest order. I hope you continue to enjoy where this is going. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!
Date: July 17, 2019 11:34 pm Title: Just wanna keep calling your name until you've come back home
*Sees a new chapter for this story, thinks to himself, it's okay warrior, you're a big boy, you can handle this, deep breaths*
That flashback though, ouch. Yeah that more than kinda hurt to see Pam go through all that. I'm sure I could go on and say something more profound, but I don't think I'm up to dragging my heart through that again tonight.
Getting to non-flashback. Quick thing there is that Eric or Erin that Pam is bringing over to Jim's table?
Past that, the image that Pam had built up a fortress around her heart with all things Jim was a good way to put it. Though she left a weakness with keeping all the pictures. Now it seems she's thinking that weakness is actually a new opportunity and here's hoping she grabs it with both hands.
I'm sure you'll put Jim through something just as heart wrenching with then next bits of this story. So I'll just say I'm hoping the non-flashback parts of the next Jim chapters will make up for it.
Author's Response: Hey Warrior! Thanks for your review. I mean I'm kind of sorry for dragging your heart a little but also that's what I was going for so... No, really, I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for leaving a thoughtful review and, yes, Jim will get his Hurt in a few chapters. And, yeah, it was Erin who Pam was taking to Jim. Eric was still with Jo trying to get his resume printed.
Date: June 19, 2019 05:40 pm Title: When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills
I'm gonna be honest with you DC, this isn't your best wo-- Sorry. I can't even type that with a straight face. OMG, imagine a world in which I'd be all "you could do be better." Impossible. This story continues to be one of my favorite things ever, and this chapter is brilliant from start to finish.
You've already heard a lot of my comments so what I really want to talk about is why I'm mad at Hannah for taking her shot with Jim but appreciate Jason's seduction of Pam. I'm pretty sure it's only 37% because of his accent.
Like, I get it. Jim and Pam both need to move on. They're both trying. It makes sense. Eventually, they were going to need to sleep with other people. They just didn't need to marry them, JIM.
I'm going to continue thinking about this for far too long.
Pam's to do list killed me, especially that last item. It's such a great little detail and I love that when she's talking to Karen later, she stays true to herself and doesn't mention it.
Another great detail that delighted me? "Your thirty dollar Target shoes scream gold digger"
When Jim finds out Pam's teaching a class and gets all proud and calls her Beesly? Twice? My heart grew two sizes. He's so proud of her!
And then Pam tells him he looks fuckable and I scream into the void because well, yeah. But also because I just sincerely enjoy this Pam so much.
His Raya profile is everything I want it to be and more. The picture. The SONG. No wonder he lands models. Gold star for including the term "douche canoe." It's a personal favorite.
And that phone call at the end! It's nothing major but like, its still an olive branch extended and they can't help but fall back into the easy banter and the teasing and listen, I'll fight anyone who disagrees that Pam's dating profile song has to be Blank Space.
p.s. Can I get a short one-shot to this story where Jim and Pam leave work early to watch the Met Gala red carpet? Please?
p.p.s Always choose Drake.
Ugh, your reviews kill me every time. I love that you always catch some of my own favorite details. :) Awwww, I'm so glad that you picked up on how proud Jim was about her teaching art class. Ha! I'm so glad that you appreciate Jim's dating profile; I was thinking "Getaway Car" for Pam's profile song but "Blank Space" is a really good one, too!
PS Hmmmm...but what would it be ABOUT?
PPS ALWAYS choose Drake...
Date: June 17, 2019 09:47 pm Title: Somebody that I used to know
This story is so insanely good. You are so talented. Don’t ever stop writing.
The build up and tension are wonderful. I can’t wait to read more, hopefully soon! XOXO
Author's Response: Oh, Soupsnakes! Thank you so much! I hope there will be an update soon-ish. Thank you for your kind words about this story.
Date: June 17, 2019 08:22 pm Title: Somebody that I used to know
DC, I love this story, and your writing, and these two idiots. This chapter was amazing. You painted such a clear picture with the flashbacks that I felt like I was watching a movie. I had to take breaks while reading because...heartbreak, but oh so good. The scenes after each of them have their encounters with other people, and all they can think about is each other....heartbreaking.
I basically cackled when Pam told Jim he looked fuckable. OMG. I love this Pam. I was thinking about her choice to not move to Philly but to then turn around and move to NYC, and I totally get it. She wanted to move for herself, not for him. She didn't want to be given ultimatums.
You can keep torturing us all you want with the heartbreak as long as you promise to make it up to us with the ending. :-)
Thank you for the writing, it's wonderful.
Author's Response: Sprinkles, as always, you are too kind! Thank you for your kind words about this story. And you aren't wrong about Pam having a realization that she needed to do some things for herself. That's going to be a Big Theme in the next few chapters. Thank you thank you thank you!
Date: June 17, 2019 06:26 pm Title: When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills
The flashbacks were a tough read, not going to lie. But it's reality.
Between this and the last chapter, a thought came to mind after reading the review of them both being broken. The idea that they both broke over multiple things, that then spun them out in to making other choices. Their breakup being the first thing.
IMO, it seems like Jim broke more over Pam moving to NY (thus spinning the DUI), and she broke over him getting engaged so quickly after they split. That didn't come out as overtly but I sense it in the words. Like he needs to know why she did that (the move) and she needs to know why he didn't want to marry her and could move on so quickly.
And without getting that answered, they can't totally heal together and maybe come back together. It's the elephants in the room that neither can fully get beyond yet.
I also feel like being around Pam again reminds Jim of how life was before they split or how it could have been. He's so unused to it and may be realizing now how shallow or hollow he's been without some of those grounding things that only she can give him. So while it's holding her back a bit now because she doesn't know how she can compete, for him it's a reminder what maybe what else he needs or missed more than he allowed himself to while he was trying to go against it.
All of this could be reaching but that's my POV. Love it and can't wait for more.
Author's Response: Hey, um, BJB, did you break into my brain and take notes on this story?! Because ALL of this is IT. Every single bit of their history that you touched on will be in the next few chapters and both of them will spend the rest of the story being reminded of what they missed out on in the last few years together. Man, I appreciate your kind words and Deep Thoughts on this story.
Date: June 17, 2019 01:58 pm Title: When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills
Still very much here for all of this, think you're doing it beautifully. I'm not going to go into paragraph raptures but only because I like to keep these short, so: well done, so glad you're still doing this, liking both Karen and Hannah a lot.
Author's Response: Comfect, your concise words always feels like "paragraph raptures" (I literally laughed out loud when I read this) so thank you for your kind words. Glad you like Karen and Hannah; hope I continue to not make you hate Jim. ;) Seriously, thank you for continuing to support this story; I appreciate it.
Date: June 17, 2019 08:27 am Title: When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills
Auch, MY heart! This really hurts and I am a masochistic loser for hoping for the next chapter to come soon.
(Loves it, though)
Author's Response: Thank you, K3! I hope it comes soon too. I'm at a bit of a roadblock so I might try for not quite so much pain next chapter. How does that sound? But no promises! :) THank you for always being so supportive of this story.
Date: June 17, 2019 05:06 am Title: When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills
I am very disappointed that this chapter came to an end and also simultaneously delighted with all the wonderful banter. The dialogue is so deal that I have no problem imagining Jim and Pam actually saying these things to each other. And also WHEN WILL THEY SAY WHAT THEY ACTUALLY WANT TO SAY.
Author's Response: Oh my goodness thank you so much for your kind words! And also, that's me screaming as I write it WHEN WILL YOU GUYS ACTUALLY SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY but they just keep acting like idiots. Oh well... I so appreciate your support of this story.
Date: June 17, 2019 03:58 am Title: When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills
That flashback tore me to shreds. Boy. Way to make me feel all the feelings.
I absolutely loved the line about kindling/ember. What a brilliant way to describe it.
I’ve said it before, & I’ll say it again - I adore Karen as a friend, not a rival. Especially written like this. I feel for canon Pam due to her lack of female friendships, it’s great to see them come alive in fic.
Looking forward to seeing where you go next!
Author's Response: Jenna, on one hand I'm sorry for tearing you to shreds. On the other that's kind of what I was going for so... I mean I'm still sorry about it though. :) Seriously, thank you continuing to love This Karen and support this story. I hope you continue to enjoy it. Your kind words are so appreciated.
Date: June 16, 2019 11:44 pm Title: When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills
Okay, so yes that did take a while to get through. Interesting to see how Jim and Pam "got over" each other like that. My heart breaks for both of them that that's how they would think they needed to get over each other.
Getting into the non-flashback scenes. Pam needs to listen to Karen about Jim. Wow, that's not a sentence I ever thought I would type. Anyway it still holds true. The biggest problem Jim and Pam have ever had is they have always had a hard time really communicating with each other. It kept them apart Seasons 1-3 and reared its head again in Season 9. When they both finally pulled their heads out of their asses and swallowed their pride, led to some of the best JAM scenes of the show. I get the feeling that's what's happening here. Even after so long apart, their feelings for each other haven't gone away. They can still banter with each other which is fun to see. Good on Pam for calling and texting him. I get why she's be insecure especially seeing how supposedly successful Jim is now. However, it seems she's kind of gotten over that, at least a little, and is continuing the movement they had after the Chinese food eating time in her apartment. Things like that soothes some of the ache my JAM loving heart went through with those two flashbacks.
Author's Response: Thanks for this, Warrior! I was hoping to get some balance here between those crushing flashbacks and their attempts to move forward. I'm glad that's working! Thank you for your kind words.
Date: June 14, 2019 03:30 am Title: You know by now that we will meet again
I'm just going to say straight up that this is the best re-imagining of that fateful 'are you free for dinner tonight?' scene I have ever read. Definitely didn't expect it and 100% overjoyed with its execution. Leaving all the jellybeans because this fic is wonderful.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad it was unexpected and a joy for you. Your kind words are so appreciated.
Date: June 07, 2019 07:09 pm Title: Bask in the glory of all our problems
I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get here but like, there was a lot to process this chapter and it took me a few days to work through it all.
I love your flashbacks. Every single one of them is an absolute gem and they correlate to present day in the most creative of ways but this flashback? It’s my favorite so far. They’re so happy. They’re. So. Happy. She survived MSPC, he survived Pam’s dad being a jerk, and their current biggest worries are if Pam is going to spill more wine or if Jim’s going to spoil GoT for her.
Two things to round up my feelings on the flashback because lord knows I have things to say about present day. First, I love how you’re sneaking in little lines like “her giggle danced against his lips” and “do a number of things that had absolutely, satisfyingly nothing to do with paper”, and the entire paragraph where Jim contemplates getting the ring and proposing and like, I get it, you’re so good at this, but like, you’re so good at this and you create these moments that are so clear and coherent and lovely and sexy and it’s just everything. You have a very specific style of writing and I love it a lot.
But also, Pam’s “you know nothing, Jim Halpert”? Hi, I’m dead. There are so many layers in that sentence and I love them all and ugh, they’re so, so happy here.
You think I loved the flashback? Let’s talk about the present. I have some Thoughts.
I love that even though the conversation is a little awkward at first, and they’re very aware of how much space to leave between them as they sit on the couch, that this whole having dinner together bit is just comfortable to them. They’ve done it a thousand times before and old habits die hard. Like the teasing when Pam feeds him the fake story about Penny just to break the tension over her parents.
Jim pushing the issue of Pam and Brian all the while knowing he’s really close to ruining the moment but unable to stop himself because he’s both jealous and mad and then guilty for feeling both of those things… he’s just as much a broken mess as she is.
I wish I could explain why I love their messy broken lives but like, Pam’s pill dabbles and Jim’s DUI – I’m not even sorry I pushed so hard for these, because I love the depth it gives both of them. And shit, DC, we haven’t even met Hannah yet but the image of her in a police station with a Birkin tells me everything I need to know.
“Pam’s watching him, waiting for a response or reaction, but he’s at a loss. Does he commiserate, confess to having married a woman because she was a fascinating foil to Pam yet didn’t prove quite the long-term replacement he’d hoped for? Does he launch into his own admission of waiting for the day he feels deeply fulfilled by his work or something, of dulling regrets with drugs, alcohol, and women who are as emotionally unavailable as he is?” Cool, cool. Remember how happy they were on Friday, May 18, 2012? Because I do. It’s fine. I’m fine.
I love, love, love that Betsy, Pete, and Tom all have thoughts on Jim’s current predicament. Is there going to be more Betsy? You know I love me some Betsy.
Hey, thanks for setting up this perfectly great moment of a possible kiss in Pam’s kitchen, and then knock me on my ass with Danny’s arrival. Again, I’m FINE. I’ve read this chapter like… okay, too many times now honestly, and I still screech like a banshee at Pam’s introduction of Danny and Jim to each other. It’s so brilliant and it’s so NOT the Pam we’re used to. In an entire chapter of Pam we’re not used to, this moment just shines and I cannot thank you enough for the absolute glee and delight it brings me every single time I read it. I absolutely adore that she doesn’t even apologize for it because she has nothing to be sorry for.
And here’s Jim again, still pushing the moment and getting her to admit that it wasn’t Brian she wasn’t over and this is where I die a fourth time. But I also love that he doesn’t leave her hanging out there all vulnerable and sad – he just matches her brokenness and they move on. Ugh, these two, Even apart, they’re still so in sync.
The bit where he realizes he used to be able to read every single flinch she made and now he can’t? Again. I’m FINE.
Never apologize for fortune cookie scenes because Jim’s says A professional meeting will bring him much success and HE’S USING WORK AS AN EXCUSE TO SEE PAM AND IT’S GOING TO WORK. BETWEEN THE SHEETS. No one cares about Under Armour.
“Pam lives in Scranton. I’m moving to Austin. This doesn’t change that.” This whole dying thing? It’s still happening. I love every second of it. Except.
Look. You can't take a Grey’s Anatomy scene and turn it into a Jim and Pam scene and not expect me to lose my goddamn mind. Because I will. Every single time. But this moment? THIS moment? This. Moment. I’m not fine. “I can’t remember our last date.”
I’m fine. It’s totally fine that their last date ended in Kitchen Things with a TSwift twist AND I SAID I’M FINE, OKAY?
(I’m not fine. How’s chapter 6 coming along?)
I...see when you leave reviews like this I'm just pretty certain I can't top it and so I might just leave it on this cliffhanger. Let the reader decide what these two idiots do. (We both know I'll never really do that. I have too many Thoughts here as well.)
I didn't set out to make them so broken but, really two people who have so much Power for Good over the other when they're together probably have the inverse of that power when they're apart. But, yeah. They're broken. And, yeah, they see it in each other.
There will be a Betsy chapter. I hope you will enjoy it. :) She'll be cooking, of course.
I blame You Tube and you for the Grey's and TSwift rabbit holes we fell down here. But I won't deny my love for it. :)
Thank you for being such a great beta for this story AND for just enjoying the heck out of it. These reviews warm my heart through and through.
Date: June 05, 2019 04:06 pm Title: Somebody that I used to know
Everyone's reviews have been so amazing that I can hardly add more. Ditto to everything agian said.
I like this version of Pam. She's got some grit. She's had some life experiences that don't involve Jim and I think she's actually in a better place to be in a good relationship. She's sassy - such an appealing quality in a woman!
When Danny was there I was afraid you were going to let Jim leave. (One of the spots where I was dying!)
But these two just cannot communicate! It's like the main love language they have in common is physical, and when that's not available they just can't say what they feel.
I'm looking forward to your next chapter. This story is so great. The dialogue is perfect.
Author's Response: Sprinkles thank you so much for this kind review! I agree about Pam's own experiences without Jim. I wish we'd seen more of that in season 3 because (even though it was SO painful) I do love Pam's growth in that season. I firmly believe canon Pam has some sass and grit (maybe not this much) but still lets herself be vulnerable. I'm glad you are enjoying this; thank you for always being so supportive of this story.
Date: June 05, 2019 11:23 am Title: Bask in the glory of all our problems
"Pam lives in Scranton. I’m moving to Austin. This doesn’t change that." Damn you DC! That better not be the emotion this story leaves us on or I will literally scream here in my living room.
You do a really good job of portraying Jim and Pam here as damaged people trying to get, not back to a place where they weren't damaged, but to a place where they're repaired: where they can be themselves again but not the same selves they used to be. I'm looking forward for the rest of this tale. Wonderful work.
So what you're saying is, you DON'T want me to end it there? I considered it. Thought I could leave it open to the reader's interpretation what happens next, but when I suggested that there were death and arson threats so I'm going to keep it going. ;) Of course it won't end there! But we have a way to get there.
Hey, guess what the summary of this story SHOULD be: Jim and Pam here as damaged people trying to get, not back to a place where they weren't damaged, but to a place where they're repaired: where they can be themselves again but not the same selves they used to be.
That's exactly what I'm going for and I'm So Very Glad that's working for you here. Thank you for such a great review!
Date: June 05, 2019 10:00 am Title: Bask in the glory of all our problems
Okay first of all, I now have Issues stuck in my head, so thanks.
I love it whenever Pam wears Jim's t-shirts like they're hers. Especially since it's a Widespread Panic shirt, because Jim now has at least 3 of these in his drawer, in my mind.
Can I just say how proud I am of you for coming so far on little smutty scenes? Because they're so perfect. "...and then do a number of things that had absolutely, satisfyingly nothing to do with paper." See? You see that. Ugh. I love it. And then there was, "...made her look absolutely wrecked, and he hadn't even gotten there yet." You really do turn the subtle sexy on SO well.
I also love that, despite all of the issues they're having, Jim is still 100% in Camp Pam, always supportive, and not losing the banter that they've always had (in canon at least). Like him saying that he would run off and join the circus with her (I am now 100% in Camp Jim the Juggler) and the tickling/wrestling that just takes all of the worrying out and gets them back to their roots.
I honestly contemplated stopping reading (is that grammatically correct? I have no idea) after "You know nothing, Jim Halpert" because I didn't think that could be topped, but congrats, because you sure DID.
The fact that they just had the shittiest date in the history of Jim Halpert, and now they're sharing take-out while splitting it up like the old days without missing a beat just breaks my heart, because the love is still there (and obviously you prove that later, and shatter my heart even more, but we'll get to that).
Brian like Camera Brian? Same Brian? Do you just like the name? Either way, I'm definitely on board with the fact that Pam actually had a relationship after Jim, that she didn't stew and feel sorry for herself, and was actually able to be her own person (one who did drugs--I LOVE YOU FOR PUTTING THAT IN HERE, CAN I JUST SAY??? CRAZY, FLAWED PAM DOING STUPID SHIT IS SO FAR REMOVED FROM EVERYTHING I KNOW AND I LOVE IT).
Also, Jim getting a DUI because he was so broken over Pam is absolutely what would have happened, and I love that you basically took these two people and shattered them into shells that have nothing left but the residual feelings for one another, because that's truly all they know and will ever need. And then throw in Betsy wanting to know how his date is going, because honestly, moms always know best, and she probably misses Pam too, and I'm just sitting here in a puddle of my emotions, thanks.
“Jim Halpert, Danny Cordray. Danny and I fuck without feelings and Jim’s ass is hanging over my couch.”
I don't really need to say anything else on the subject, do I?
And now, Pam has a fuck buddy, and this Pam is slowly becoming my favorite Pam, because she is doing the exact OPPOSITE of sulking, and she's just trying to make sense of a life post-Jim. Because "It wasn't Brian..." and she's TELLING HIM that it wasn't Brian instead of cowering away, and I'm just
Jim only has one night stands because he can't emotionally connect with someone other than Pam and they just REALLY ARE BROKEN.
You're really the best, ya know?
I loved the line about, "Wanna go back to talking about my parent's divorce?" because it just shows how fucked up they've truly gotten, but it still made me laugh out loud that *divorce* was less painful than how their lives have been going as of late.
Listen. I am ALL for reusing the fortune cookie bit. Especially the way that you did it. Because flashbacks with future connections are what I THRIVE on (who, me? *cough cough*) and the way that you did this was so PERFECT. Because here's the thing. You could have made them kiss, or fallen back into what happened in the flashback. That would have worked. But not in this story. And in some cheesy version of this story, they would've been super awkward about the whole thing. But instead, Pam is inviting Jim to a 4th of July party, and they just really need to keep seeing each other, and it's SO obvious, and you did that so perfectly.
The "I don't remember our last date" *actually* broke me. Twice. Because I didn't think he was going to stop and tell her. And though it is so typical of *Jim* to remember all of those details, why did it hit me so much more that *this Jim* remembered everything? Oh right. Because he "moved on" and was married and came off as this huge asshole, and this is his moment to basically show the world that things about Jim have changed, but the one thing that hasn't is that he still loves Pam Beesly. It's okay. I'm fine.
(No I'm not).
"Does it count if I never really quit loving her?"
That's...that's the last straw. I need the next chapter NOW.
There are so many things that I appreciate about this review and your love of this story. But I really appreciate that you GET what these two have to go through before they can get to the good stuff. As always, the things you point out are always some of my favorite parts to write. *yea!!* A few things:
Yes, that Brian. I don't want him with Pam in canon but Brian was hot (those arms!).
I have too many Thoughts on mildly rebellious Pam and Jim, it just makes sense to me that at this stage they both dabbled in being reckless and kind of self-destructive.
Ooooh, I hope you like the Betsy chapter when we get to it!
I think of you a little bit every time I write those flashbacks. ;)
Everything in your paragraph about the part that broke you (sorry bout that) is SO TRUE! That whole part about how he's changed in many except that he still loves her... AND your part about at their most broken, their feelings for each other are all they've known or need???? I'll give you credit if, no when, I steal those lines, okay??
Date: June 05, 2019 04:48 am Title: Bask in the glory of all our problems
Oh my Grey’s Anatomy! That doubled my feels! That’s one of my favorite scenes - coupled with “that’s not the she he was looking for.” But I digress... I just wasn’t expecting my MerDer feelings to be reawakened like this & I’m having a hard time thinking about anything else...
This story is so delightfully angsty. It breaks my heart to think of a world where Pam & Jim don’t make it. But the tension that remains is incredible. I can’t wait for these beautiful fools to work it all out & find each other once again.
I kind of have a soft spot for Karen & Pam as friends & you always do it so well. I like this protective version of Karen. It’s amazing what her not dating Jim does for her friendship with Pam.
Looking forward to see where you go next!
Oh, Jenna! This entire review makes my heart soar with the eagle's nest! I don't watch Grey's any more but I fell down a several-hour-long black hole on YT (it was as glorious and painful as it sounds) and I just KNEW this scene had to go here. I'm not even a little ashamed of it. ;) So glad you liked it.
So there was this quote one time where Jenna Fischer said that maybe Pam and Jim were only supposed to be together for a while and that kind of broke my heart but also made me think... (Although, listen, I can't live in a world where they don't ultimately get a happily ever after. So, keep that in mind.)
Oh, Jenna, you warm my heart with your comments about Karen. I absolutely love looking for ways to show what their friendship could look like. I'm so glad you're on board with this. :)
Date: June 05, 2019 04:21 am Title: Bask in the glory of all our problems
BAHHHHHH such a good update!!! Loved the entire thing. I hope we get a little more from Jim on the marriage (still yay for divorce). His reaction to Danny and Brian was so great. I can’t wait to see if they give in to clearly what they both want, despite the time and distance.
Author's Response: Thanks, Bayjb! That is such a nice review and thanks especially for the specifics. Yes, we will get a lot about Jim's marriage in the next couple of chapters and hopefully no one will hate me because of it. :) I so appreciate you taking the time to read and review.