1 [Report This]Date: January 10, 2019 06:08 pm Title: Do
Roy makes me think about my ex, and your take on him is as if you knew him on the flesh
Author's Response: Well, I hope those thoughts aren't too unpleasant, because I hope you're enjoying the story, but I really appreciate hearing that I'm doing a good job of conjuring out a Roy-like feel from these chapters. Thank you.
Date: January 09, 2019 04:43 pm Title: Do
Ha! Your chapter end note is fantastic. Oh, Roy. In the South, we would say "Bless his heart." You've got this perfect Just a Simple Guy/Child/Clueless Dummy/Insensitive Jerk Combination down perfectly.
Author's Response: Ouch, "bless his heart." It's not wrong, but the worst part is that I don't think Roy would notice the cut. Thanks for reading!
Date: January 09, 2019 08:30 am Title: Do
I think you wrote Roy well here. The fact that even in his internal thoughts he still can't remember that they're engaged, not dating is telling of his character. He may think he notices her, but he's only seeing the surface and not what's important deeper down. Well done for writing that as it can be tricky.
Author's Response: Thanks! In particular, thanks for noticing that detail, which I'd been laying out there very deliberately. Your feedback is always so attentive, I really appreciate it.
Date: January 08, 2019 05:40 pm Title: Do
Of course he’d do Pammy, he did Pammy, that was part of the point of dating Pammy. Who needed to hear him say it?
I know that this is crude and boorish, but I laughed at this line. Seriously, let me say again how great it is that you're writing again.
That entire last paragraph sums up Roy so goddamn perfectly. Like, yeah he knows there's a problem and he knows he's the cause of it, but a night or two of being on his best behavior to get him out of the doghouse without them actually needing to work anything out... I'm projecting, possibly.
Glad to be caught up! And looking forward to what Jim notices next.
Author's Response: Yay! I was trying for crude and boorish, so I'm glad I got there. And I don't think you're projecting. I think you're right.