1 [Report This]Date: May 10, 2019 05:47 pm Title: Chapter 2: Once More, Without Feeling
So so so incredibly wonderfully gloriously good. Amazing little ways to capture the absurdity of this without it BEING absurd. That ending is So Wonderful and appropriate and makes absolute sense.
But can we talk about this little gem for a minute:
"He turned away, and then turned back before taking a step. “But just so you know, I’m not so sure Roy’s that good at noticing a really pretty face..”"
Is your goal for me to die when reading this because I DID when I read that so in-character subtle moment of Jim's?!
Author's Response: Oh, thank you DC! That is exactly what I intended except that I want you alive so I get to read the rest of Hello My Old Heart. ;)
Date: April 30, 2019 12:54 pm Title: Chapter 2: Once More, Without Feeling
LOL! I really liked this second chapter. Pam's confusion is spot on, and so is Jim. Also the line about the really pretty face made me awww aloud.
Looking forward to chapter 3!
Author's Response: I'm glad to hear it! Thanks for the feedback :)
1 [Report This]Date: April 30, 2019 11:26 am Title: Chapter 2: Once More, Without Feeling
Interesting!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Date: April 30, 2019 10:49 am Title: Chapter 2: Once More, Without Feeling
I was wondering how she'd react to the first loop. You really made it seem realistic. With her waking up thinking the previous night had happened. I really liked how with her there to buy the pencil cup, Dwight starts going off the deep end. That her presence is a calming influence that keeps things from getting to far out of control. Or at least her "normal" presence. Now that she's into the loops, it makes a lot of sense that things get a bit discombobulated. Great job.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm going for realism within the absurdity of the premise, so I'm glad that's working so far. And yes, good catch; that's exactly what I was thinking of "normal Pam" as, a calming presence. Thank you!