Date: June 04, 2019 06:15 pm Title: Chapter 13: Coors and a Couch
Oh This was a great one. I kind of like these few moments where Pam thinks she's figured it all out but doesn't take into account the butterfly effect of her choices, even if just for the day. Love how you are pacing this story out.
Author's Response: Thank you! I hope the pacing continues to meet your expectations, since that's one of the features I was most worried about as I wrote this.
Date: May 21, 2019 10:55 pm Title: Chapter 13: Coors and a Couch
You really know how to excite me with a brief author’s note. I loved the lines about Jim’s smile being oxygen. I feel for Pam here, breaking up with someone is never an easy task, even if you’re the one initiating it. So to think that she’s going to have to do more times is painful. Although, I suppose it’s one of those of things you replay after the fact & refine your language choices in your mind, so she has that to look forward to I suppose. I am so very excited to now be in a world where Pam consciously loves Jim. I wish we could see Jim’s reaction to Roy appearing on the Booze Cruise & drowning his sorrows after being dumped by Pam...
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm pretty committed to this being Pam POV, but I agree that Jim's POV on that cruise would be an interesting exercise...
Date: May 21, 2019 05:21 pm Title: Chapter 13: Coors and a Couch
Have I mentioned how much I'm loving how you're taking canon elements and re-purposing them for this story? Pam breaking up with Roy at the bar at Poor Richards and his similar reaction here is very well placed. Same goes for the 27 seconds of silence, but at her desk rather than on deck this time around.
Also, the line that "it decided right then to turn over and grumble," also made me chuckle a bit. Roy being an "it" is one kind of fun dig on him, but also a great way to show how that Pam has mentally cut herself off from that relationship. So now I'm very curious to see how she'll manage to break up with Roy, get him off the cruise, get Larissa on the cruise, and make it to the cruise herself. Lots of steps to complete to be sure.
So to continue my analogy, because why not, Pam's got a new and better firelay built up, it might needs some adjusting though but the foundation is there. It also seems like she's figured out how to hold the flint and steel now to get more than just sparks. The sparks she is making are flying towards the tinder and starting to catch, but due to a strong gust of wind (read in this case Roy getting angry) they're not lighting things on fire, yet. However she's well on the right track. Can't wait to see how brightly her fire burns once she gets it all figured out.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm enjoying the freedom to remix that this particular premise gives me. I'll be interested to see what you think of this next chapter and the way I've written Roy.