Date: April 14, 2021 05:27 pm Title: Big Week
I loved the note about Jim fighting the forces of gravity. You really showed how well researched this was as always, and the raid sequence was very well executed. Very easy to visualize the attack on the airfield in particular.
The tradition of the toasts and the pictures on the wall is well-written but eerie. Will be hard to forget that's looming over their shoulders as they make visits in future chapters. I was just thinking about the fact that it's still February 1944. A lot of war left. I'm nervous for Jim and the boys. Especially Mark.
I appreciated Jim being troubled by the expendability of the bombers. A logical military call, and statistically safer perhaps, but it feels like that calculation really *should* be striking for the people on the ground.
Hey, a non-This Thing Called Life near miss with Roy! This is an interesting version of him in this story. You can see why this guy might not be a good boyfriend, but you can also see why he'd be a good bro. Can't help but wonder if Jim's advice is going to come back to bite him...
That was a fun remix of Dwight's self-fight... and a very good excuse for it! Seriously, someone probably should've showed.
Glad to see this story updated again (even if it did take me weeks to review)... looking forward to the next update!
Military history and aviation have long been hobbies of mine. So it's fun to bring in a lot of those aspects like describing the G forces involved in the flying they're doing. Glad you liked all the combat scenes too. Gives me encouragment that I'm achieving what I set out to in writing. Yeah, a lot of war left. We're not even to D-Day. Though there will be some time skips to move things along in coming chapters.
War is hell. That means the generals have to make tough calls and hope their men can come through.
I wanted to explore how Jim and Roy might have interacted without Pam coming between them. So yeah a bit of near miss kind of like "This Thing Called Life," but hopefully a different context.
Always fun to bring in moments from the show and what better than to have Dwight try to teach evasion but of course with Jim just egging him on. Always glad to get a nice detailed review from you. Thanks as always.
Date: March 24, 2021 08:51 pm Title: Big Week
Oh I love the trick on Dwight. SO brilliant of a prank. I'm in awe.
And I appreciate the near-miss with Roy again. Nice to have that coming back around ;)
Author's Response: Thank you. I'd known from the off that Dwight would want to try and teach evasion skills and that Jim couldn't resist the opportunity to pull one over on him.
The near misses with Roy have been fun for me too. Thanks as ever for the review.
Date: March 24, 2021 05:38 pm Title: Big Week
So glad you are getting back to this one. I'd been missing fighter pilot Jim.
Now I don't recall if we every knew the other new plane names yet or if I commented on them yet (see that's what happens) but Big Red II is just classic Andy and I like the symbolism of Round Two (since I always saw Pete and Erin as the new Pam and Jim).
I was struck exactly the same as Jim when it came to the tactics of using the bombers as bait so I was really glad when Jim brought it up at the bar - and of course having it eat at him led him to write Pam - love how she could comfort him by just being the person at the other end of the letter.
It's very interesting to see you portray Roy this way - almost disturbing how nice he seems to be - that's going to be one big crash when they find out especially since they seem to get on so well.
Of course the repurposed Dwight on Dwight fight was good fun.
Can't wait to check in with Pam.
Good stuff as always.
Author's Response: Thanks as ever. This is the first time we see the new plane names for Blue Flight. Big Red II was obvious for Andy. In the show Pete says he likes boxing and that's where Knockout came from. Trying to continue on with a theme with Round Two but I can see how your interpretation works too. Griff changes up the Penny moniker so that's still fun. And of course we have Andromeda as a call back to Jim and Pam's discussion while sitting in the hot tub.
From what I've been able to gather, most of the fighter pilots were pretty gun ho about being released to follow through on attacks or go after ground targets. It was also not clear if the bomber or fighter pilots knew at the time the bombers were being used as bait. So that's kinda where that came from.
I'm having fun with this Roy/Jim friendship. I figured that had Pam not come between them, they might have been friends. They have a lot of the same interests (besides Pam that is), are friendly with similar people. It's been fun to explore that.
I'd been looking forward to putting in the Dwight fight's himself scene for a long time so it was fun to bring that to life.
Always great to hear your thoughts. Thanks for being patient with this one.
Date: March 20, 2021 04:52 pm Title: Saddle Up
Ok I loved this. P-51s are awesome, and seeing Pam get a chance to get war news not from Jim directly was very cool. You're so close to getting this to the longest ever, and it's impressive that it's still so good.
Author's Response: Yeah the P-51 is my favorite fighter of WWII. Just a classic warbird that is the definition of what a fighter plane should be. I really enjoyed putting in that newsreel at the end. Glad you liked it too. Yup getting close to longest fic. Hopefully we'll get there soon. Thanks for the review buddy. It's always a delight to hear from you.
Date: March 20, 2021 04:44 pm Title: Thoughts of the Future
I can see why this chapter was hard to write, but I think you did well with it. I really like Pam's dad getting honest with her. Here's hoping his coping gets easier.
Author's Response: Comfect! What welcome surprise to my night to see these two reviews pop up. Welcome back. Thanks for the words of support for this chapter. Really glad it worked for you. William has become a fun character to explore in this story.
Date: January 03, 2021 08:15 pm Title: Saddle Up
For me it was Nice not to have to wait too long for the chapter but something tells me this will be the last time.
My first comment is about the writing of this chapter and actually all of the chapters but particularly the ones with Jim--- you can really feel the respect you have for the real men who fought in these wars. Your interest in the details of the subject matters and love of it really comes through in your writing.
Ok onto so more detailed reviewing. First. Home. It's a lovely thought that her artwork can give him solace and something to look forward to.
eeewww. Never saw BoB but I'm guessing this was one of the borrowed scenes. But still eeewww
wondering which was the other.
Nice to see Solitaire still serves as a distraction and a way to pass the time during "work".
I just about cheered out loud when Pete came back. I was always a fan of his and the few fics he's been part of this one included have increased my love for his character so I'm glad you healed him.
Love the way you added a little metallic bling into this chapter. a fine substitution for yogurt lids.
One of these days he's going to forget to take out her photo and Oh boy when that happens. On a personal note I adore the detail of her photo always there during his flights. I keep baby photos of my boys tucked into the little window at the front of my car so I can always think of my babies. (In case I haven't mentioned it enough they are teens now.)
Even though I love the pranks and fun when Jim and Dwight are at odds there is also something really heartwarming when they are on the same team as they are here.
And what a extraordinary surprise it must have been for Pam and Penny to see the newsreel. I would have wanted to get up and scream that's my fiancé in the middle of the theater had it been me. Speaking of fiancé, nice work in of the buying the ring after 2 weeks.
Great chapter as always.
Thanks Maxine. My Great-Uncle actually served in the 8th Air Force during WWII. So yes I have great respect for not just those men, but all the men and women who serve in the Armed Forces. Yeah, the urine in the pitcher is one of the scenes from BoB, though there the character actually gets the urine shower wake up. The other scene is where Jim stops Ryan to insist on miliraty protocol with the salute.
I'd always planned on having Pete come back. You're right, he's a great character and I do wish there was more of him around. Glad you also liked the medal ceremony. After what Jim and Blue Flight have done, they more than deserve them.
I know you're itching to get to the Jim and Roy figure things out bit. There's a plan in place don't worry. And yeah, pranks are fun, but I also do like it when Jim and Dwight have those moments of respect for each other.
I figured letting Pam and Penny see Jim and Griff in a newsreel would be a welcome surprise for everyone. Especially when Pam sees what Jim has named his new plane. Thanks as always for the great review.
Date: January 02, 2021 09:06 pm Title: Saddle Up
This was a chapter well worth the wait. Starting right away with Jim nearly soaking Griff with his own urine. Hopefully he'll take a lesson with the near miss there.
Man, you really gave us a lot of gifts here, between Pete being okay and ready to fly again and them winning the Silver Star and the DFC both. Things were going so well for them I was honestly pretty nervous for a while - maybe I've seen too many movies, but the conversation about their future plans with Pam and Penny between Jim and Griff set a lot of alarms going off in my head.
As always, the work you're putting in on the research comes through clearly and pays off here. It's very easy to feel like I'm right there inside the cockpit with them. And you can really feel (and share!) their frustration lifting now that they can finally escort the bombers all the way through.
The newsreel was a nice touch - and Jim named the Mustang Andromeda? You slay me. Truly, really good work here.
Glad you liked this one. This was the turn of the tide in the European airwar. We'll get more into that later but yeah, the frustration is gone and the hunt is on. Good things for fighter pilots.
Sorry to add any stress with thinking the rug might get pulled out with all the good things going on. After a few harder Jim chapters I wanted this one to not be that.
Really glad you like the bit with the newsreel. I was a little worried about how it would land, but that worry seems groundless now. Glad you like the new name for Jim's fighter as well.
Date: January 02, 2021 07:10 am Title: Thoughts of the Future
I'm all caught up just in time for your next post - but maybe can sneak in first chapter of This thing Called Life first (and continue with adventures - yes been reading that too sorry haven't left reviews but enjoying it as I do all your stuff.)
Anyway, this was a nice little breather chapter - no worrying about the emotional turmoil of war for Jim (I know/hope you would never harm him, but the emotional seems to be doing enough - war is hell) even though we had to deal with that awful Danny Cordray.
Nice that Pam and her family are spending Thanksgiving with the Halperts -true spirit of Thanksgiving and family alive here.
The inclusion of the Pam's artwork is a lovely touch and enjoyed how you snuck in "I'm sorry what was the question."
So how long do I have to wait for the next update?
Glad you got caught up. It's a long story so thanks for taking the time to read it all. Yeah Danny's not great. Hopefully I have Pam in a good place to deal with all of that.
The artwork is fun to add in, along with lines from the show. Shouldn't be to much longer before an update.
Date: January 01, 2021 04:46 am Title: October Rain
On the show the Danny Cordray character really got under my skin and now he's burrowed into it like a rash that is beyond irritating. On the outside he seems charming and attractive but really he's swarmy and sleazy.
Very much sign of the times they'd be slapping him and throwing drinks in his face so you've done well staying true to the era. On a personal note that jumps eras and stories if Beth were there she'd have lost 50 points here.
The letters and lists as always great to read and I like how you slipped Kevin in here.
Of course he's her new boss. This will be interesting.
Ps the letter from the future was one of my all time favorite Jim pranks. I snorted out loud when I first saw it (had I been drinking coffee I may have made a bigger mess than Dwight and Stanley) so i was tickled you worked it in here.
Yeah never a fan of Danny either. He always seemed like the opportunistic smooth guy to me. So that's how I'll unapologetically write him.
Glad you like the letters. They're one of my favorite parts too. Especially since I can use them to add in more from the show.
Date: December 31, 2020 01:19 pm Title: Black Thursday
Forgive me as I read this chapter in two separate sections so my review may seem disjointed too.
You have a way will fitting the show dialogue and scenes into this story that seems so natural, never forced and that's adds to the story. Like Andy's punching the wall which takes him out and puts Ryan in.
And of course Ryan's getting shoved into the closet.
Plus you bring it all into real history and get at the emotions that must have been swarming around these brave young men.
I salute you for that.
You've got me waiting for the eventual Roy Jim clash. Right now Roy seems like a decent enough guy and close enough with Jim. I guess without Pam in between them there wasn't much reason for them not to get along. But I can't wait for that tension.
Another well done chapter. That got me in the feels as well as made me laugh.
Thank you so much. It's a challenge to repurpose those lines and scenes, but it's a lot of fun to be sure. I'm glad you liked it.
I wanted to explore how Jim and Roy might have acted had Pam not been between them. They actually have a lot in common so it feels like there would be a way for a friendship to form. Not the close brotherhood Jim and Griff here share, but a friendship nonetheless. Thanks as always for your comments.
Date: December 24, 2020 03:58 am Title: Summer's End
So wondering what got Pam/you thinking about Dear john letter but I like how that foreshadows and bookends the last part of the chapter. I will say not unhappy, except for the pain it causes William - you've conveyed that well with the image of the tear (that brings images of Jim in casino night and tugs at my heart in the same way) - as this Helene quite frankly sucks (the character, you've done a great job writing a different kind of Helene) ... and whew if that isn't the most awfully constructed, run-on, comma-spliced sentence ever written I don't know what is.
Enjoyed more baseball imagery and sad that part will be over. But I guess that's why they call it the boys of summer (and in this case the girls).
Ooo, what's going to happen when Jim/Pam finds out its Roy going on about his girl back home. Very intriguing.
Still enjoying the way the dialogue gets repurposed...We’re not dating, We’re engaged and I can't.
Sweet touch with the morse code I love You
The whole "Dear John" letter came about during the research for this chapter. I found out that if a lady is sending a letter and addresses it "Dear whoever" it was often seen as a sign of the dreaded "Dear John," break-up letter. So the salutation that wouldn't be a "Dear John" letter would have been something like "My Darling whoever," or similar. I didn't realize that until this part of my research so there you go.
Yeah, Helene's not the best here. There's a point and purpose I assure you. It also makes it more of a challenge to write so that's kind of fun too.
Glad you're liking the repurposed dialogue and well done on getting the Morse code.
Thanks as always for the review.
Date: December 22, 2020 02:56 pm Title: Thoughts of the Future
Oh boy. That interaction with Danny is all sorts of awkward... I have a feeling that them working together is not going to be smooth sailing.
Aww, Jim’s family inviting Pam and her family over for Thanksgiving is very lovely. Given the change in circumstances, it would have been harder for them to be at home.
I know I could ask Google, but where’s the fun in that... What’s the significance of the flag in the Halpert window? Do the blue stars mean that there haven’t been any fatalities in the family during the war?
Wise words from William! Although, given the letters between them, I think this version of Pam and Jim are actually pretty good at communicating with one another. Hopefully they can maintain that when they’re back in the same space!
Jenna! Wonderful to hear from you again! You're right in that there's going to be some storms to navigate with Danny. Should be fun to explore. It was fun to have Thanksgiving with the Halperts this time. Last year, (in the fic that is) we focused on the Beesly's so figured I'd switch things up.
You are correct about the blue stars. Mothers would hang those flags in their windows to signify they had sons (nowadays also daughters) who were serving in the military. A gold star on the flag meant their son had been killed while serving. Tom, Pete, and Jim are all in the Army so Betsy hangs a flag with three blue stars.
Thanks for the comment on William and the letters. I'm very glad to hear you say they're communicating well. Thanks as ever for the review.
Date: December 17, 2020 08:33 pm Title: Songs from Home
Ahhh the Karaoke of the 1940s. This was a great chapter
Apprediated the wink you gave to your readers with the instant kinship line.
And Gareth versus Dwight was good fun that was reminiscent of the Andy Dwight meeting of season 3.
blood on the risers is kind of a sick song. Worries me a bit for Jim's brother, Tom but for now it was nice to have their reunion complete with their trio in song.
And I loved your tribute to Jenna Bennett which I recognized right away. So fun that you tied that in.
When I spent a semester abroad in England I was surprised to know how early the pubs closed down. Wonder if that was the case in 1940s England too You had to go to the clubs if you wanted to keep the night going. But in any case i had a vivid picture of the men all singing together while swinging their pints. Arms together as brothers no matter from where they were from or what their service rank was. Good stuff.
Ps Jim plays guitar like he always aspired to. Nice detail.
Good stuff here but I'm missing Pam as I'm sure Jim is.
Glad you liked this one. Like I said it was a favorite chapter to bring to life. You're not wrong about "Blood Upon the Risers." Though gallows humor like that has long been a standard way to cope with stress in the military.
I honestly have no idea how long pubs stayed open in 1940's England. I just need a place off base for them to all unwind so created "The Bullpen," as that place. Jim playing the guitar was another one of those fun details to put in too. Yes Jim is very much missing Pam,and she him. We'll continue to explore some of that as we go on.
Glad you liked this one. Thanks as always.
Date: December 15, 2020 07:35 pm Title: Fortress Defense
Way to scare the $@*# out of me with jammed gunned and the enemy on him. And apologizing to Pam. I knew you wouldn't but still felt the tension there.
What a coward and FRAUD Ryan is. But liked to see his comeuppance.
Taking the scene with Dwight and Pam from the job and twisting it around here to be Dwight and Jim that was clever. But really clever was bringing in the shorter English lad, Tim. That was unexpected but great fun. As I'm sure having Andy will be.
As much as I enjoyed this reading lines like of the 10 on the bomber only 2 leapt and pulled their ripcord. Makes you think about how many brave men we lost. Really hits me.
Let's see where we go with this story. I'm still waiting for Roy to learn about Jim with Pam. Also hoping that we get to see Griff become mor of a brother to Jim i.e. See his relaTionship with penny more. Don't know what you have in store for them but hoping.
That was entirely the point of having the guns on "Ghost" jam like that. Also something that would happen with P-47's so a touch of realism there too from the research I've done. Clearly I'm not a fan of Ryan so it's fun to do stuff like that.
Glad you liked the scene with Dwight. I'm having a lot of fun re-imagining scenes from canon. I'm not sure if you're aware, but the character of Jim Halpert is based on Tim Canterbury from the UK version of The Office. I figured since the Americans are over in the UK it would be fun to bring in some of the UK Office characters. We'll see more of Tim in the next chapter as well as going forward.
The 8th Air Force lost more men in combat than the entirety of the Marine Corps during WWII. Hard numbers to deal with, especially on the bombing mission in this chapter. Those men were beyond brave.
Don't worry, we'll see more of Roy and Griff going forward. Really hope you like the next chapter. It was one of my favorite things to write for this story.
Date: December 07, 2020 07:56 pm Title: Who's On First
Another fun chapter.
Baseball it's definitely a thinking man's game or in this case thinking woman's. I've been to enough of my son's travel baseball ball games to know that it takes more than a powerful bat and good glove to win. Baseball is 90 percent mental, the other half is physical. Nice touch to show that through Pams thoughts. I'm curious, did you play?
Michael's comment about getting under balls. Where's the Twss? Implied for sure. I guess sometimes we don't actually need to hear it said. We just know it's there in his head.
Ok the baseball signs Michael does. How approriately Michael. A great visual.
And Wham bam thank you Pam I can't believe we never heard him say this on show. Or did we and I forget. Either way spot on Michael.
I really liked the secret language in the letter which I caught onto before you had it explained later but liked explanation why they set it up. Seems smart.
Holly! Very fitting for her to do the Who's on First routine and you are right it is great fun, every time.
Author's Response: Glad you liked the baseball chapter. I did steal a line from a great baseball movie for this chapter. "Think, don't just throw," comes from "For Love of the Game," just to let you know. I played baseball from T-ball through 9th grade then got cut. It was always a lot of fun though. It's a lot of fun to have Michael be a baseball manager. Which means some new baseball inspired nicknames and crazy dugout signs.
The code in the letters was a lot of fun to come up with too. Glad you caught on. Holly was fun to bring in too. One to foil Packer, and two to play off Micheal. Thanks as always.
Date: November 28, 2020 04:49 pm Title: Into the Fire
Another great chapter - which had me thinking a lot so here I go: first the intensity of the first scene - OMG - very nerve wracking even though I knew you'd never kill off Jim I was worried for some of the others- even Griff. The whole clenching of the controls and the breakdown on the tarmac later on really hit home to me that these are really just young men - some even boys not quite sure how old all are supposed to be here thrown into war and situations that are just so intense and important and how that must weigh on them. That plus fear for themselves, their metaphorical brothers and those they've left behind. That really came across to me reading this part.
I like the pairing of Pete and Jim on tarmac - I always wanted to see more of these 2 together on show - Jim had a lot to offer young Pete and I like seeing them in tandem here.
You may remember I have a lucky penny reference in The Gift of time - a very different reference as it was an inside story about my son at around 4 which I attributed to Jim -anyway it's a long winded way of saying reading lucky penny no matter what the reference is always something I'll smile at.
However, I like how you subtly had Alex (great way to tie him in BTW) say his rendition of a portrait may not be a true as it should be - I get it I get it - Roy would otherwise recognize his Pammy's sister - likewise how Jim names his plane Ghost and not Pam - and you must be saving that reveal for later - I imagine it will be a good one.
All the Dwight stuff was great - I've got to wonder had you ever had a situation like that where someone pulled rank and you had to tell them to get out of the way so you could do your job.
I could see Jim at the mirror at the end trying to wash away all of the day - Pam's letter was a blessing to come when it did. Perfume reference (and I still think of it from Grease but it must have been a very common thing in the day).
Another great read but I'm hoping a little levity is coming in next chapter - a little wound up here.
Thanks for this epic review. War is hell and there will be hardships to be faced. Especially these men at this point in the war. Glad you found the more intense scenes realistic. While I've never been in combat, I am more than aware of the feeling of pushing everything to the side in the middle of a hard situation to be hit with the adrenaline rush afterwards.
Pete's a fun character to bring into this story. I always liked him so it's fun to bring him in more. Glad you liked the Lucky Penny reference. Same with Alex. Good catch with Alex's portrait ability. That is exactly what I was going for.
I've never really had anyone try to pull rank on me. Mainly because usually when I show up on a scene I'm in command of all things medical and thus a lot of times I'm the top dog on scene so there's no one who can pull rank on me. Also when I get on scene I tend to follow the quote from another WWII figure. Admiral Chester Nimitz. "When you're in command, command." I've had to order bystanders to get out of my way before or ask cops to get them out of my way. That can get kinda fun actually.
Pam's letters are going to a big thing holding Jim together. They're turning out to be a lot of fun to write. Yes there is some levity coming up.
Thanks as always for your review.
Date: November 27, 2020 06:11 am Title: Pitches and Pictures
I really enjoyed this chapter - for a while spent a lot of time at baseball games when kid played travel ball and the details of the game brought me right back to it.
What I love about your stuff is the attention to details in descriptions that can carry you away and the little touches that add a bit more. the thing about the colors not being one of the school teams so to be neutral was just one of those little things.
Always appreciate a well placed That's What She Said.
Nice nod to the movie dialogue - especially with the Kit and Fastballs line
Nice way to keep Cathy in character - having her encourage Pam to cheat as if it's OK. And the jealousy even though she doesn't even know Jim but the idea of him.
It was very sweet the way Jan was so encouraging and praising of Pam's talent. Very Season 2 Jan and I like how it came together that Pam worked for her ex husband.
Up to the prologue in next chapter - looking forward to catching myself up.
I liked this one too. It was fun to finally get into the baseball stuff. Trying to keep everyone close to character in a new setting can be challenging but it's fun. Don't expect to many lines from ALOTO as this is an Office fic, but it's nice to add in some here and there.
Thanks for the comments about the details. Sometimes I get worried I'm getting to into the weeds with those so it's nice to get some feedback on them. Always glad to hear from you.
Date: November 24, 2020 07:06 pm Title: Pointblank
I should have seen it coming with the Pammy. Roy, oh no, did he not get the message that she was done with him. That he'd been replaced. It will be interesting to see what you have in mind for Roy and especially with him an Jim in this setting.
I love the little things I learn reading this fic, like that the life jackets are called Mae Wests (now that's descriptive) and how the pilots are instructed to write on their hands to keep important information from getting into enemy hands.
Of course I loved the re-connection of Jim and Dwight and the scene repurposing. Good fun stuff.
Well explore things with Roy more and more as we go on. It's one of the things I wanted to explore. How would Roy and Jim interact if the tension of Pam wasn't between them?
It's a lot of fun putting in all those historical nuggets. Glad you're liking them.
Told you Dwight would be back. We'll have some fun with him too. Thanks as always for your review.
Date: November 21, 2020 10:36 pm Title: Thoughts of the Future
Ugh. Trust Danny to be an expert on gaslighting a full year before the film Gaslight even came out (and yes, I had to Google that). I love that you have him literally still showing the effects of his encounter with Pam and Penny - do not mess with a Beesly. And Pam showing her spine in this encounter is fantastic. She's right, Jim would be really proud of her.
The comic allusion to the horrors of canon in Jim's letter definitely got me chuckling - especially since apparently poor Tim Canterbury hasn't gotten nearly as lucky. Definitely clocked the idea about them visiting Australia together, too. And I love how powerful and important their connection is to each other even with all the miles and months separating them. Plus - the bickering about the collie was great. Hope we get to see what Jim's been up to again soon.
Not going to lie - mildly concerned that Pam's relief at seeing there are no gold stars on the flag is foreshadowing for Tom or Pete.
Very interested to see where you're going to take the Helene subplot next - feels like you've got a lot of room to maneuver with it. But at least William's getting some relief around the holidays.
Thanks for the great review darjeeling. Yeah, Danny's not the best here. Had Pam met him before getting involved with Jim and baseball I'm sure she would have fallen for his tactics. Now after being encouraged by Jim, not a chance.
The letters are some of my favorite things to write in this story. Since they're seperated its the only way they can keep up their banter about things like the collie and the like. Also good catch with Tim.
Glad you're still liking the Beesly sub-plot. There's a ryhme and reason for most everthing here I assure you.
Date: November 21, 2020 05:48 am Title: Family History
Chat ended early last night so I had a little more time for reading.
Another insightful chapter...I now know more than I ever thought I would about whisky-making, but nope still don't want to drink it. But I do enjoy the detail you put into describing your scenes.
The backstory of Helene paints more of the picture but I still am not a fan of this Helene - but that's what gives this story more depth. It is interesting how you've switched the roles of Helene and William. A very nice twist.
Oh and the stubbornness lessons was a great line.
Likewise, the gentle nod to jinx was a nice touch.
Looking forward to seeing what Jim is doing.
Write what you know and writing is easier, thus all the whiskey stuff.
It's kind of hard for me to write Helene too. Sometimes I have a hard time getting into her headspace. Espcially here since it's more of a departure from canon.
Glad you're still liking everything.
Date: November 18, 2020 07:18 pm Title: A New Diamond
Where to begin? Of course the title nice little double entendre.
Here’s Michael and he’s just as we know him. Of course there’s a reason why he’s unable to serve. Good thing too because he probably be more dangerous to his troops than the enemy.
Nice to see the other familiar faces although I could’ve done without Cathy. Surprised to see Katy on the lineup. She seem more like a cheerleader type to me.
Pretty funny that Angela always has a cat with her and love that Phyllis is crushing on the fridge guy.
Ok do I detect hints of Grease here?
I knew you wouldn’t have anything happen to Jim so even though I recognized the scene I wasn’t worried with the telegram.
So I like how you mixed the casino night confession with the weight loss proposal. What a wonderful end to the chapter.
I always look forward to when you can get a new review up. Yeah, there's no way anyone would want Michael near any kind of military equipment. So he gets to stay as the Manager. Cathy and Katy are there because I needed canon characters to fill out the line-up card. Still it's fun to bring them in too. I've got to keep some canon aspects in this story thus Angela with her cats and Phyllis making eyes at Bob. Probably another unintentional reference there if you see anything from Grease. I also really liked how the proposal scene played out. There's also a bit of "Paper Airplanes" in there too. Glad you liked it.
Date: November 13, 2020 07:28 pm Title: Paperhawk
Nice to see some familiar names pop up and hear some familiar dialogue...not a big Ryan Howard fan are you?
I keep expecting Michael to show up. Way to keep us hanging?
Even though not really my thing I'm enjoying some of the history and technical elements within this.
Author's Response: No not a big fan of Ryan. He always came across as a jerk to me. Don't worry about Michael. He'll be around. I know this chapter was more technical filler, but it also helps set things up for later when Jim and co. deploy. Thanks as always for your comments.