Date: October 08, 2019 03:50 am Title: Chapter 9: Roy
That assessment of Michael is so, so spot on. Jim is onto it. I can picture him showing the information video just like that. Also, the playing around on the forklift. It feels lifted from an episode in the best way possible.
I’m going to be honest, this chapter has far too much Roy and not enough not-Roy. I’m looking forward to chapters with less Roy. Seriously though, I can picture an initial meeting between Jim and Roy going down just like this...
Author's Response: Thank you! Michael is a challenge for me to write, so I'm beyond happy this worked for you. I do agree about the Roy-ratio, but hey, in order to get rid of him I have to include him first. I promise this will go where everyone expects and wants, even if it takes a little time...and a little more Roy than we might prefer.
1 [Report This]Date: October 07, 2019 05:50 pm Title: Chapter 9: Roy
Love this line: "Toby, the HR guy, who had seemed not just harmless but aggressively so..."
Great descriptions of everyone, and an excellent first meet between Jim and Roy.
Author's Response: Thank you! I appreciate the feedback, and I'm super glad you liked the Jim-Roy interaction.
Date: October 07, 2019 05:24 pm Title: Chapter 9: Roy
This feels like some more exposition. Nothing wrong with that of course. Still good to see the beginnings of a friendship with Jim and Darryl.
His instincts about Roy seem to be spot on as well. I mean seriously, why can't the guy ever remember a significant thing about her?
Feels like something interesting might happen at Poor Richards as well.
Author's Response: Hey, there has to be some exposition to expose what's going on ;). But yeah, we have some transitions to get to before more action starts up. Thanks for the review!