Reviews For Paradox
You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans
Reviewer: JennaBennett Signed [Report This]
Date: December 22, 2020 03:50 pm Title: The importance of being observant

‘Like a full set of teeth, for a start.’Their banter is adorable! Poor Sir Raymond definitely doesn’t stand a chance...

I feel like Lynn has good intentions. I love that Pam is having these completely unfathomable adventures, but it’s tough that she’s failing things at school as a result.

“sometimes they accidentally had changed history” No big deal. This is such a great line.

Dernhelm, the humor sprinkled through this chapter is SO good! “She’d stay away from Gabe”

“He noticed her all the time” MY HEART. Oh.

“The touch itself lasted less than a moment, but the ripples of warmth it had caused kept going on and on, and soon even the tips of her ears were burning.” This is such beautiful writing. I love this description.

I kind of hope that Pam’s wish doesn’t come true...

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 29, 2020 11:22 am Title: The importance of being observant

I'm really interested in the conflict that you've introduced for Pam. You've written it really well, and I'm really looking forward to seeing where you take it.
Loving the idea of a space agency. Like a travel agency, but with time. Sounds fab!

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 25, 2020 10:53 am Title: The belated gift

I loved the vivid description - you've really captured the settings and moods. I also loved Pam's poster; that was a great touch. Jim's vulnerability at the end, when he's handing over the pendant, is super-sweet.
Thanks!

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 25, 2020 10:22 am Title: The beginning of everything

This is extremely inventive!. Super work.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2020 11:29 pm Title: The importance of being observant

Some very cute Jim-Pam banter to start this one - and appropriately so for a chapter that addresses the Jam of it all.

It's interesting to see the consequences of Pam spending so much time living outside of the shackles of time while still making her home in a very much linear-time world. I'm glad Lynn forces her to consider her feelings for Jim (and I love that Lynn is fundamentally correct - what's screwing up Pam *is* that she's in love), but I'm worried for her that she's insufficiently concerned about the rest of the consequences.

Still, this was an adorable trip with Pam finally realizing how romantic this all is and, much as Pam does, trying to avoid what it all means.

I liked the little hints of canon you worked in in this one – Gabe, the shirt from the fashion show at lunch.

Not going to lie to you: I’m definitely going to try out the phrase “I envy a tiny flea that has a privilege to kiss your creamy skin” out on someone at some point and see how it goes.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2020 10:33 pm Title: The things to remember

Well, with all the trouble foreshadowed in the last chapter, here comes even more. I’m feeling a little concerned for Pam losing her place in her own time – it does not strike me as something Jim might think about before it has real consequences. And of course we now have Pam starting to explore on her own and set her own agenda in a world she doesn’t fully understand… and another hint that Jim knows a terrible fate lies ahead for Pam and is trying to forestall it by getting her to take on nanobots. This is a very complex world you’re weaving with this story, and I like it.

I *loved* Pam’s observations on the mistakes in the time capsule of her own time, and how imperfect the travelers’ understanding of the world they’re exploring is. Feels like there’s a lot you can do with that and what it implies about their general understanding of what they’re doing.

And some interesting hints planted here too about Jim and what he’s up to… I’m VERY much enjoying this.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2020 09:40 pm Title: The belated gift

I REALLY liked this chapter. So much going on. The trip to Paris was lovely, but I’m very intrigued by the table-setting you did the future. Jim’s brief disappearance at the exhibit, the subtle changes to the past, the twist to the normal time travel concern so that it’s about the impact on the people of the past/present, not the present/future, the fairly ominous hints that Jim’s busily trying to change something that’s going to happen to *Pam.* You’ve set an awful lot of plates spinning here, I’m eager to find out where you go with them.

I *am* a sucker for a good alternate history story, so I appreciate you including the discussion about killing Hitler, and Jim mocking Pam for her bloodlust. There's a lot of funny material in this chapter - Jim teasing Pam about her closet and her befuddlement at the clothes were great, too; Jim's corny joke about her making an "impression,” the little comic moment of Jim realizing as he's saying it that Pam's lack of nanobots is a problem and Pam's confused "I'm good."

I love Pam’s sheer joy at this process – particularly the way it came back in the end.

Reviewer: Merria Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2020 09:09 pm Title: The importance of being observant

So glad you brought this story back! Things are getting very interesting, but we still know so little about Jim. And Pam’s grades are slipping. It’s a slippery slope.
Can’t wait to read more

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2020 08:35 pm Title: The beginning of everything

Round #2! I love that he keeps showing up at this very specific moments when Pam is lonely and sad and in need of someone to connect with. So he's not just a mystery to be solved for her, he's also someone who is, in his own "person not experiencing time in a linear way" fashion, someone who's there for her when she needs him.

And I really appreciate the acknowledgement that Jim resetting her understanding of the universe is probably going to have some long-term consequences for her. It's not like her life stops in between these incidents, and she has to live her very normal existence knowing there's something greater out there.

The choice to have her experience this as color to be captured is magnificent for young artist Pam - this is the way she likes to think about the world already, and it feels natural and character-appropriate that it's the way she processes things she doesn't understand.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2020 08:31 pm Title: The stranger in the woods

Interesting start! This is not my usual genre, so I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with it.

Ugh. Poor Pam. Her loneliness really comes through clearly here, as does how fundamentally young she is - and naturally how she tries this not-particularly-smart young person's gambit. She also seems pretty well aligned with the insecurities and quiet of canon Pam.

It's very striking to me how you had the age gap between them play into why she gets involved with Jim. Interested to see if that comes up again.

I'm a sucker for good Pam-Jim banter, and I definitely liked this early version of it. And I like how you portray Jim in this very different universe as exactly what he is in canon - someone who helps her escape from what what's weighing her down in her own mind.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2020 03:17 pm Title: The importance of being observant

Interesting chapter. Lynn is there to give some needed perspective. At least that's how it feels to me. She opens Pam's eyes that there are deeper feelings coming into play now. All of Pam's introspection after that play out realistically. Same when they're watching the shooting stars. Now that she has a bit of clarity it's becoming more clear that there's something more than just friendship and companionship between her and Jim.

Also seems like there's something else brewing. Jim wanting to leave rather than check out the fallen star seemed almost ominous. Feels like there's going to be something to that. Time will tell.

Nice job with this one.

Reviewer: Sam Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2020 08:57 am Title: The stranger in the woods

Wow- this is fun! I'm intrigued. And I absolutely felt Pam's fear in the woods. I can relate to that feeling, as a child, when you know you've made a risky choice and the panic's rising and you're in danger, and you know it's all your own fault...
Looking forward to the rest!

Reviewer: oncelet Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 26, 2020 09:22 pm Title: The things to remember

This is such a pretty, mysterious story-- thank you for writing it!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading it, oncelet!

Reviewer: BigTuna Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 24, 2020 09:25 pm Title: The things to remember

I really am enjoying this story! Again, I think you are just such a wordsmith. The line about the hazelnuts blew my mind, that was so genius. And I love how you’ve constructed time travel in this story. The imagery of the corridor is so fun and imaginative. Great job, Dernhelm!

Reviewer: BigTuna Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 24, 2020 09:18 pm Title: The things to remember

I really am enjoying this story! Again, I think you are just such a wordsmith. The line about the hazelnuts blew my mind, that was so genius. And I love how you’ve constructed time travel in this story. The imagery of the corridor is so fun and imaginative. Great job, Dernhelm!

Author's Response: Thank you, BT! I'm excited to get reviews from you and I truly appreciate your kind words! Hope you'll enjoy the following parts as well :) 

Reviewer: sophieandsitcoms Signed [Report This]
Date: September 24, 2020 08:47 pm Title: The beginning of everything

So funny- Nov 11, 2005 is my exact birthday :0 love the story!

Author's Response: Thank you! And what a coincidence :) 

Reviewer: JennaBennett Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 24, 2020 04:46 am Title: The things to remember

“She had all the time in the world and didn't want to waste any second” This is the loveliest notion ever.

I like that her roommate can sense changes in her. Time has seemingly passed for Pam, but not the people surrounding her. It really brings it back to the magic of this adventure she’s on with Jim.

The time capsule that Pam’s in sounds fascinating. Such a strange collection of seemingly significant artefacts to the time - but so very eclectic to someone who’s actually lived it.

“the knowledge that they shared at least some cultural context. It made him less alien.” This makes so much sense. He’s a bit of a mystery, but his moments of connection with Pam definitely help to humanize him.

This is a sweet ending to the chapter and totally feels like a natural place to take a break. Once again, I kind of feel like I have more questions than answers and I’m super intrigued by this world you’re creating. I hope the next update isn’t too far away!

Author's Response: Thank you, Jenna! I like hearing from you so much! I was struggling with writer’s block a lot, and then with other stuff, and I told myself 'I'm going to update the next week' for about a month, but finally, it's here! Hope that this block (and other stuff) won't drag me back anytime soon...

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 23, 2020 09:13 pm Title: The things to remember

This was fun. I kinda like that Pam gets to join Jim in these travels. The bit with the time capsules was a nice way to have a place for a reprieve. Very descriptive of everything too. Nice job.

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words, Warrior! I'm glad you like it. 

Reviewer: DoomGoose Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 23, 2020 04:40 pm Title: The things to remember

Some very sweet moment with Jim and Pam this chapter. You also teased us with enough details of Jim's "Job" to get me curious, because from the snippets you gave us it sounds like there might be a time-travelling Michael, and that is just hilarious and terrifying at the same time.

Author's Response: Thank you, DG! I think that if there was some time-traveling Michael Scott, there also would be a while crew that followed him and fixed the results of his follies... and I like this idea a lot!

Reviewer: Comfect Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: September 23, 2020 01:35 pm Title: The things to remember

I liked this a lot! Nice to get some more insight into how this 'works' and also some very sweet Pam reflection. Good work!

Author's Response: Thank you, Comfect! I appreciate your opinion very much and I'm glad you like this story. Hope you'll also like the next chapter :) 

Reviewer: Comfect Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: August 16, 2020 12:31 pm Title: The belated gift

Yeah that seems like Pam. Wanting to go now I mean. I like this psuedoDoctor Jim. More please!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! The next one is already here :) 

Reviewer: Comfect Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: August 16, 2020 12:25 pm Title: The beginning of everything

Oh yeah, I like your time travel conveyance. And the way you chose a moment to visit. Good work!

Author's Response: Thank you, Comfect! 

Reviewer: Comfect Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: August 16, 2020 12:21 pm Title: The stranger in the woods

Very the Time Travelers Wife. Do you own that one?

But I'm in. Let's see where and when this takes us.

Author's Response: I knew about its existence but neither read nor watched it. After your comment, though, I watched a trailer and... yeah, there are some similarities, but they're unintentional. 

Reviewer: DoomGoose Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: August 15, 2020 08:49 am Title: The belated gift

Of course Pam gets painted like a French girl by a crazed french painter, why not? That was a really fun adventure for them to go on. And the ending,Jim giving her the button for if she wants to see him again and her immediately pressing it... That had me smiling, it was great. I'm really looking forward to seeing where this goes next.

Author's Response: Thank you, DG, I really appreciate your feedback! The next one is here :)

Reviewer: BigTuna Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: August 14, 2020 06:38 am Title: The belated gift

It must be a coincidence that I just started a rewatch of Doctor Who, or maybe you and I share a brain! This is so imaginative and lovely and it gives me all the fun sci-fi feels as well as all the fun romance feels! I love the image of Jim as the time traveler and Pam his companion, and LOVE that he’s shown up in some vulnerable places in her life and helped to pull her out of the funk they left her in. Plus you write their voices so well. I have no trouble at all believing it’s Jim and Pam. I love this so much! I can’t wait to read about their next adventure.

Author's Response: Thank you for your sweet review, BT! I think it wasn't a coincidence, it was a perfect timing ;) I hope you'll like the next chapter. 

You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans