1 [Report This]Date: January 04, 2021 02:03 pm Title: Chapter 4
Boy, Roy is not making a great impression here - not being good with new people is one thing, but he seems to be falling down on the job at some pretty basic boyfriend tasks. I like what you did with Jim here and digging into the fact that he's in a difficult position, trying to determine if he's just jealous or if there's an actual problem that he's the only one seeing because he's watching more closely.
I was struck again with the idea that the line between romantic lead and deeply creepy is unfortunately thin here. Wondering more and more what the root of Roy's insecurity is - it sure seems like that both that and the weirdness with the locket might be related to whatever happened with his wife.
I love the shot at Ryan. Ryan is absolutely a guy who would try to style himself as Cobra.
Date: December 12, 2020 03:40 am Title: Chapter 4
I’m with Jim - Roy is giving me a bad feeling too, & it’s not just because he’s dating Pam (although, maybe it mostly is...)
“Cobra is a guy with leather jackets who rides motorcycles and occasionally breaks the law. Ryan is a guy who works in an office and still lives with his mom.” This had me cackling. How perfect.
“But if I were you, I’d make it a good one, and I wouldn’t waste too much time coming up with it” This is the most brotherly advice ever - just make it good & make it quick, with no actual ideas. Oh boy...
Date: November 17, 2020 07:00 am Title: Chapter 4
Oh pining Jim. Felt just about identical to canon Jim here. With the caveat that since the Roy/Pam relationship is so new, mayber there's a chance he can do something about it before it gets to the point of an engagment or the like.
Shades of high school jock Roy here. Like he's staking his claim in full view of Jim. Pam seems a bit to infatuated with Roy to really notice any potential warning signs. Like when even Roy says he's not sure if her friends like him. Friend approval or dissaproval should be a big thing. Likewise dog approval but I've mentioined that already.
Kind of funny to envison Cobra Ryan. He still seems the same kind of distnerested jerk here, just with a different kind of vibe.
Nice job.
1 [Report This]Date: November 16, 2020 08:06 pm Title: Chapter 4
Girl. There was so much I loved about this chapter.
I felt like this line was so representative of season 1-2 Jim. "He knew he was going to have a hell of a time trying to be happy for her as long as Roy was by her side." Like UGH. He's got it so bad for her. And I like/hate the fact that Pam seems to genuinely like Roy, even if she's a little hesitant. It feels very true to canon.
I loved the whole Cobra/Ryan thing. That made me laugh out loud. And the Kelly/Roy dynamic really intrigues me. We never got any of that in canon, but I could kind of see it happen, actually.
The part with the locket makes me a little suspicious of Roy. But that's the goal, right?
Can't wait for more!
1 [Report This]Date: November 16, 2020 07:23 pm Title: Chapter 4
I’m SO HAPPY you updated this because I love it so much! I’m excited for more.
Also I loved this line: “ Missed watching her eyes change from an emerald green to an almost turquoise as the sun set.” So sweet. Poor Jim. Haha keep up the good work, lady!
Date: November 16, 2020 06:32 pm Title: Chapter 4
So happy to see this story updated!
I can’t wait to see a more confident Jim, actually going after what he wants! :)
Also, I don’t know if it’s just me, but I think Roy’s name was put as Richard a few times in this... in Poor Richards and then when Roy visits Pam at work. If I’m wrong, sorry! But thought you’d want to know :)
Author's Response: Yeah, I had messed up a couple of times, but I fixed it, so it should all be good now! Thank you so much for letting me know though! Since I'm basing this off of the book, I have the book beside me for reference and sometimes I slip up lol. But thank you for reading! I'm so glad you are enjoying it!!