Reviews For Another First Date
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Reviewer: dosteen Signed [Report This]
Date: May 11, 2021 07:46 am Title: Perfect Presents and Lucky Stars

This is quite lovely. I'm enjoying this OC you have in the waitress Beth.

Author's Response: Thanks so much.  I am having a lot of fun with her and with writing about some of the experiences out favorite couple got to have (in my mind) offscreen. 


I’m so pleased that you are enjoying.  

Reviewer: boredhswf Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: May 04, 2021 07:18 am Title: Perfect Presents and Lucky Stars

Nice book choice.;) I kind of love that it was Oscar that suggested it too. All the little details of the gifts were so adorable and of course, the entire section with Beth was charming as usual. Loved it.

Author's Response:

Thanks Bored - Glad you enjoyed. I was going to have them read it for Finer Things club - but I thought this worked well too.

There were other nods with the gifts and check out candle I just bought (after posting) 

<img src="stories/3919/images/IMG_2476.JPG">

 But my favorite was that the first jewelry he bought her was the anklet (although technically the first jewelry he buys her is a ring) . A little more personal and private and something only she would know she had on most days. 

I have fun writing Beth because as you can guess she is loosely based on me - I'm mostly shy but strangely enough also very chatty. 

Always love to hear from you. Thanks again. 

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: May 04, 2021 05:18 am Title: Perfect Presents and Lucky Stars

Lots of fun as always. Micheal trying to figure out where Jim and Pam go for their romantic dates really seems to track. As does Jim and Pam turning right around when they see his car out front.

The details of the gifts were a lot of fun. It makes a lot of sense that Jim would put that much thought and creativity into his gifts for her. And for his dad. ;)

Always fun when they finally get to Christophers. Rough story there for Beth. Yeah, there are some real jerks out there. But there are some good ones too.

Wonderful job as always.

Author's Response:

Yeah we know he was desperate to go out with them.

I had a lot of fun with the gifts - loved being able to call out other stories like Razor's Edge (even if it didn't completely track it was a nod). My favorite gift was however, the anklet - even though it wasn't the first item of jewelry he bought her, it was the first he gave her and I wanted it to have deeper meaning and be something that was a little more private - the two of them would be the only to know when she wore it (unless of course they had another Office Beach day).

Poor Beth, hopefully she'll find one of the good ones soon - but it's not Creed.

Thanks as always for your thoughts. Always love to hear them.

 

 

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: May 03, 2021 08:19 pm Title: Perfect Presents and Lucky Stars

You did well here capturing the still fresh feeling of giddiness on Jim's part... they've been together for a while, so it's a little muted, but he's still getting to do a lot of things he'd always imagined with her for the first time, and you found that balance. And the flashback to his train of thought in buying the teapot, and how carefully he had to weigh everything he was up against, find something that would speak to Pam without triggering Roy, felt very true to canon. Thank goodness he's done with that period. And the little tie-ins, exactly what emotional experience each piece spoke to, was great.

The Dwight prank with the timers is great. That would drive Dwight ballistic.

Definitely fun to see Jim's Christmas gifts to her here, and the lengths they had to go to to duck a double-date with Michael and Jan pre-dinner party... there definitely are some Stories implied by the beginning of that episode.

Hmmmm. I know you said the headbanger isn't Dwight, but I'm very much wondering if Beth's jerky paramour is someone we know now. Not sure I see Stanley as a gym person, and Creed would never have been that subtle (I love the idea to set them up!) Packer's not married... hmm. Paul Faust of Paul Faust Disaster Kits Limited?

Jim's relief at never having to try to give his heart to someone else is a good closing line!

EGGS - I did NOT do as well as this as I thought I would, but:

-Him aligning the reflection so he can see her is definitely one... feels like maybe Comfect's Notices?
-The new Christmas tradition from Beets on the Tree
-The Snoopy mug from New Year's in New Jersey
-THE ALLEN EDMONDS OXFORDS! I guess it's good someone got SOMETHING out of all of Pam's work searching, because heaven knows Michael didn't.
-The Ugly Sweater party is from Beets on the Tree...
-The stepstool
-The gifts they were eying for their parents is definitely from SOMETHING
-A bunch of direct references to their canceled plans from New Year's in New Jersey
-Is the teapot's ability to help them travel in time a Paradox reference?

Author's Response:

Your detailed reviews always make my day.

This  one was a lot of fun to write - one of my favorite things was a way to tie back the shoes from They Can’t All Be Winners to this story... at first Pam was going to give him shoes as a gift but then I thought having it be the shoebox where prized possessions were stored felt right to me. 

You always appreciate my pranks - and that makes me happy since they are not easy to come up with so love to see them noticed.

The rest of the gifts were fun too since some were nods to other MTTers.  

Yeah, as they say stick a fork in him cause he's done!

Thanks as always.   

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: April 21, 2021 05:56 pm Title: Losing Points

This feels like it very much captures this vibe of their relationship in Season 4, this moment of excitement of being able to be with each other and discovering what they like and exploration and giddiness. And I enjoy this backstory for why Pam stepped away from their usual standards of office behavior.

I also very much buy, especially with her reaction to the lack of calls after the engagement, that Pam might be a little grumpy about how quickly everyone moved on, even as she enjoyed being part of a normal couple.

“I got a really special present this year. It was a long time coming but it was well worth the wait.” - This is a VERY Jim line.

HA. I love this. I want to see more of Beth's adventures with every Dunder Mifflin couple.

Author's Response:

Thanks as ever for taking time to review - I knew you were probably busy writing for JBD.

They are deep in that new love period and glad you felt it came through - and glad you agreed she would be a little sad at the lack of enthusiasm or the speed at which it passed. After all they'd been through and all that sneaking around she really wanted a bit more for a bit longer. (kind of like when you finally post a story you've been working on for so long and it gets a few reviews and jelly beans and then just falls away into he archive)

Always do love to hear when you think a dialogue line or action of one of the characters is very in character.

As for Beth's adventures with the other DM couples - I was hoping you'd enjoy it - 


At the end of DM Infinity Part 1, when Dwight and Angela are on their date  I a long time ago decided they were at Christopher's -  I tried to set up the scene in an earlier chapter describing the other room of the restaurant like I saw on screen. The lattice trellis and lights, etc. I thought it perfect way to tie back to Beth and this story. And Kelly is totally a drink-thrower, right.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: April 21, 2021 05:28 pm Title: Losing Points

You're right. All sorts of fluffy fun. For the most part. Pam's internal thoughts about her sweater was a lot of fun. That Jim is not one to honk from the parking lot seems right on. I get the feeling that especially this early in their I 100% feel he would go out of his way to ensure he was nothing like Pam's ex. Even with that, it's delightful to see that it's the little things that are endearing to each other. Taking time to notice the small things, and by noticing the small things, they both reap big rewards.

Her thoughts as the time goes on about how everyone knows about their relationships seem to track too. All summer it's been this Big Thing between the two of them. Likewise there's all the history they've both had and others around the office have picked up on too. So for it to be kind of dismissed fairly quickly would kind of seem like a let down, even if her rational brain knows the reasoning behind it.

Weekend Christopher's seems fun. A little more dudded up for the weekend rush. Is that really a thing nice places will do? Just kinda curious. Pam kicking Jim under the table seems fine too. She was initially hesitant to prank Dwight right after the breakup and only relented with the self-aware DM Infinity bot after more than due cause. Kind soul that Pam is, that makes a lot of sense for me. Reminding Jim to cool it in public, even if she'll also enjoy the in private wisecracks.

That both Dwight and Angela and Ryan and Kelly had their bad dinners right in a row at the same place might be a little far fetched, but it makes for a fun story, so no harm no foul.

Always fun to get an update for this one.

Author's Response:

Sometimes a little fluffy fun is needed - after all that's a lot of who they are...
Jim and Roy - world's apart but to defend Roy and not martyrize Jim - the relationship is still new and like you say he's doing everything to be the anti-Roy - I'm sure after 10 years together he'll take to honking too.

Yeah, the sneaking around and all that it took for them to get there and all they got was Michael's speech, a couple of congrats and a few snide remarks - of course she's a little let down. 

Pam does have a soft spot for Dwight and would feel bad, especially having known how long the Dwangla thing was going on and how much it probably was hurting him. But she would also get a kick out of it too.

So at the end of DM Infinity Part 1, we see Dwight and Angela on their date - watching it again I had my aha moment and decided they were at Christopher's -  I tried to set up the scene in an earlier chapter describing the other room of the restaurant like I saw on screen. The lattice trellis and lights, etc. I mean I had to take advantage of their breakup and how it played into the Dating Pool game. And Kelly is a total drink-thrower, right.

Thanks as always - more fluff to come with this one.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 26, 2021 10:58 pm Title: Rules of the Game

Okay, I love this. First, because it was a great palate cleanser after the latest chapter of Gold. Second, because I like the idea that they're in on the game now. Third, because I love them pranking Beth, and then Beth immediately helping cover for Jim clearly having already bought a ring. Fourth, because both the idea of Ryan's initial summer plans to make buying paper cool again and how Michael at first tried to impress him seem very canon-compliant, as is Michael's "let's make the office into a beach!" scheme. Like that feels like something that could have been a summer special, and a funny one.

I also love the other families - both the love they want to be, and the subtler hint of the future Pam has left behind.

Author's Response:

Thanks for your great review. I felt like this chapter maybe lacked depth (especially in writing it in breaks from Gold) and was very fluffy, silly and just kinda simple so I'm glad to hear that is sometimes a good read too.

I felt I needed to have this bit to fill in any readers who hadn't read ATGIG on the game  - and you know how I enjoy trying to come up with fun stuff that could happen in the office (but man it is hard - how you make it seem easy is impressive.)

I will say the other families was a last minute addition that was the direct result of being in the middle of Gold but was what I felt was the best part of this chapter. I knew I could count on you to pick up on the subtle nod to the life she narrowly escaped. 

Thanks as always. 

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 24, 2021 08:02 pm Title: Rules of the Game

This was fun. First from defusing Michael's ideas. Nice way to put it. Both Ryan and Michael have decent ideas. But it's the follow through where they fail. Ryan in that he is all ideas and no action. Michael in that he's to much action. Good way to bring that out.

I did see some things there from "Gold." The tryst on the beach as well as the warnings for the future. Bend and go with each other rather than work at cross purpose.

Beth is still a delight. Love how she explains the game and how much she enjoys having Jim and Pam as regulars. Tons of fun all around.

Author's Response:

Thanks Warrior - I used this chapter mostly to explain the game, for those who do not read everything I write but had some fun adding so of the extra bits - with Michael and Ryan.

I actually think my favorite parts to write were about the other couples at the restaurant - a glimpse at what she narrowly escaped and what their future could be. That and the last line.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 10, 2021 07:20 pm Title: Flower Power

I really loved the way you've filled out the details of their first summer here. There are a lot of really strong little touches. The idea that Pam isn't quite used to having a *good* boyfriend, who doesn't flirt with other women on their dates and remembers the flowers she likes, makes a lot of sense and it's lovely seeing her come to the realization that this is how things could be. (And I adore the new resonance the peonies have taken on and the landmark they end up being in their relationship.

Definitely appreciate your attention to their sneaking around, too, which feels like it would have been very much on their minds at this moment.

Obviously, I knew from previous stories that Beth remembered them fondly, but it's nice to see it starting, and how startling that is for them... and the detail that she knows how much it takes to get banned from Chili's is a nice and VERY amusing touch.

Author's Response:

Thank you for always noticing the little things - like the stuff about the hostess and the contrast of her life with Jim versus what she endured so long. 

Flower Power - who would have thought it would be peonies that would *take them there*. (holds two thumbs back at herself - this gal).

But I had been really nervous about tackling this act in their relationship since I'm not much of a steam writer so I'm so pleased you liked that too.

I can always count on you to appreciate the bits of humor and amusement I try to add - we can both agree how much it is part of their relationship so it needs to be part of their stories.

Having friends like you reading and reviewing really is the joy of sharing on this site so once again my great thanks for your words.

Reviewer: grc73 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 10, 2021 07:46 am Title: Flower Power

Oh Max, oh my heart! That was beautiful, but what I really loved about this was the little details you put in, like tiny flecks of paint building into a picture where one can see it all. And it didn't need explicit smut (not that I'm not partial to a little of that, it has its place),but that second section was some of the most erotic writing I have read in a while. Superb work.

Author's Response:

You are too kind and I am so thrilled you enjoyed this. I had been really nervous about writing about their "first time" but knew somehow it had to be in my narrative somehow. I'm so glad you appreciated how I depicted it and the details that made it even more magical experience for them.

I'm so glad to have you reading and reviewing - it's just like sharing my vision with a good friend.

Cheers! 

Reviewer: Once Signed [Report This]
Date: March 01, 2021 11:59 pm Title: Flower Power

OK, so you're the reason I'm now here at 1:30 AM writing a review! /jk (No, I'm not ending John Krasinski, but we STILL don't have an Internet joke or sarcasm font.(Speaking of JK, when are they going to finish Jack Ryan 3? I'm blaming you for that, too!)) I went back and re-read All That Glitters before reading Chapter 2 here.
Pete was a tepid character in ATG, but perhaps he was just overshone by Beth. He's better here, but he'll NEVER come out of Beth's shadow unless a truly creative writer works her magic on him. Lucky he has one in you!

Author's Response:

Your reviews are always so fun-but how did I become responsible for the hold up for Jack Ryan ?  (JK)- I'm waiting too you know.

You reread All of ATGIG? Wow - I do have to get back to it - there are still some ideas there. Most of them I'm tackling through these Series stories (Originally New Year's in New Jersey was meant to be a chapter or 2 in that but worked better as it's own story) but I think I left it in a good place right?

Pete's okay - but he's not Beth. They just didn't know better to ask for her section.

Thanks as always for your fun, fantastic review - See you Friday (will you be sharing that Champagne?)

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 01, 2021 07:15 pm Title: Flower Power

Nice way to get a bit of a sum up for that first date. Same with a look at their first summer together. I do like how you had them make sure they were in a good place emotionally before they took things further physically. However one gets the sense that once they did take it further, well lets just say there's 100% no complaints from either one of them, nor is there any chance of either of them looking for anything outside of what they have in each other.

Continuing to love the descriptions of Christopher's. Sometimes you just need a fancy date. I love that they have this place that's just for them here. It fits the bill wonderfully.

The return of Beth! She's turning out to be one of my favorite OC's in the archive. Always fun to get a glimpse there.

Lovely job as always.

Author's Response:

Well thanks Warrior - I must say I sometimes forget Beth is my creation -she feels so real to me - I'm glad you enjoy her.

I do believe that a little waiting was important (not too much, after all there was a lot of pent up desire there) and I'm glad your imagination and mine were in sync with how they were together.

Christopher's has definitely gotten way more romantic and enchanted than the real place I remember - it's become an amalgamation of a few places including some wedding halls I'd been to - but that's the beauty of its real life location, it can be anything I dream up. 

Thanks for reviewing. Always great to hear from you. 

 

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 15, 2021 11:31 am Title: The Morning Tango

Okay, first, I am thrilled that we are getting a Beth-centric story. I love the idea of exploring some clearly established romantic touchstones and traditions and relationships that we don't get to see onscreen, because obviously they have some, and I really enjoyed the Beth POV in ATGIG (especially in light of the reveal that not all service personnel find them charming). I'm looking forward to seeing you walk them through that mutual history.

The details of this felt VERY real, with Phil's inattention to toys until Cece wants them and Cece's parroting of Jim and Jim trying to multi-task. Your perspective here really shines through... I'm actually a little stressed out on Jim's behalf. I really appreciated the note that Jim is still worried about the impact of his absence on his relationships with his family, because that's definitely a thought that would've lingered. Also: Dwight at this point being unpredictable in his approach to Jim on a daily basis. There's a downside that them getting friendlier! :)

Anyhow, looking forward to seeing what Jim's up to with this "another" first date and seeing some of their past nights with Beth!

Author's Response:

Thank you for this insightful review. 

The very reason I began writing Jam fan fiction was to "fill in the blanks" of the stuff we didn't get to see of their relationship so I'm excited to do more of that here - but I have some ideas to tie back to some on-screen moments too. 

I'm glad you enjoy seeing Beth because I hope to feature her a lot even though at the heart this will still be all about Pam and Jim (with a few cameos perhaps - but since it's a WIP I'm not sure where it will go until the end.

Ok so it's been a long while since I had the joyful chaos that comes from having little ones about, but those memories are kind of burned in so I know of what I write. I think I'm finding I like writing scenes with the little kids - maybe it's because I miss having them. I'm already thinking if/how I can bring some Snoopy and Charlie Brown into the story somehow. 

Thanks for mentioning the note on Jim worrying about the impact of his absence - though one line here I meant for it to have a big significance so I'm glad you picked up on it.

As for what's to come - well much will be as much of a surprise to me and to anyone reading so I'm looking forward to it too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 15, 2021 05:38 am Title: The Morning Tango

Very cute. Loved Jim playing with the kids like that. Especially to avoid a meltdown between the two of them. The image of the toys all over the place seems to fit well for them. Not a picture perfect house from a design magazine or renovation TV show, but a home filled with laughter and love.

Jim's thoughts about Dwight also seem to ring true. However if there's anyone who can reign in Dwight it's Jim and Pam. Especially at this stage in their lives when they really have all become friends. Jim's memories of Christophers and the association with Beth is sweet as well. She's become a great character and it'll be fun to see her again. Looking foward to seeing where this goes.

Author's Response:

 

Thank you Warrior - I have found I really enjoy writing stories with kids (although we might not see them in this one again for a bit since we're going back to 2007 and moving along from there). It's been a while since mine were that young and I miss the beautiful chaos.

But Lightbulb Goes On perhaps we might get some Snoopy and Charlie Brown in a chapter. I'll have to think about how I can do that.

Anyway, yes, they are friends, Jim even will be his bestest mensch (a Yiddish term for a really good guy) but I imagine Dwight can still be unpredictable.

While I haven't flushed it all out, I do have some ideas. This will still be Jim and Pam's story but we'll see a bit of Beth too. 

 

 

 

Reviewer: grc73 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 14, 2021 11:50 pm Title: The Morning Tango

Ooooh this is nice, Max! Just woke up and this is the first thing I read today, something very wholesome but also one can sense the romance building quietly in the background. Will patiently wait for what’s next!

Author's Response:

Thank you grc. A little fluffy fun for Valentine's but do remember it's Pam and Jim and they work at Dundler Mifflin Scranton so anything goes before they get to Christopher's at night for their dates.

Who knows what could happen and since I'm not sure myself this will be fun.

Thanks for reading and reviewing - it's a treat to get them, better than Valentine's chocolate.

 

Reviewer: Once Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: February 14, 2021 06:38 pm Title: The Morning Tango

I am so very, very glad Christopher's and Beth will have their own lengthy story.
Jim coming into his own as a dad of toddlers, injecting his own brand of fun with his kids while multitasking, is wondrous. Jim and Pam as parents are relationship goals.

Author's Response:

Once, I thought you would enjoy seeing Beth again (even though she technically hasn't shown up yet).  I do have a few Beth appearances up my sleeve. Hoping to get them fully fleshed soon.

As for Jim and his kiddos, I wish we'd have seen more of it because I imagine he was a really fun dad and just super sweet with his babies.  All of them.  

Thanks for the review. Happy Valentines. 

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