Date: February 22, 2022 02:37 pm Title: Chapter 9 Secrets of Heart
I really enjoyed reading this story!
Date: February 22, 2022 08:03 am Title: Chapter 9 Secrets of Heart
"How would it feel if a Vice President is walking the branch, acting like a vampire, ready to suck blood out of their top salesman." This made me very much want to see what pranks corporate Jim would've pulled.
For the record: I say keep going with this. Writing muscles are like any other, they get stronger with exercise, and I'd be interested to see what you come up with either way!
Date: February 21, 2022 06:09 pm Title: Chapter 2 - What was the question ?
I love this so far. I have always liked that Pam and Jim knew each other so well. Watching his back to see how he responds to others. The longing for each other’s company. Love love love.
Date: February 21, 2022 04:21 pm Title: Chapter 9 Secrets of Heart
This does feel like it could be an ending point for this story, however it also feels like they still have so much more to unpack. Pam is flush with Fancy New Beesly energy and Jim is finally being honest with himself and with her. Though it also feels like he's still holding back a bit here. I would love to read how they continue to open up to each other. Jim may have loathed the all-night conversations Karen put him through. I get the feeling his thoughts would be different with Pam. The woman he really wants to be with.
All that being said I'm glad they are having these conversations. As much fun as jumping right into the lovey dovey stuff is, to really heal the wounds of their past, they would need a lot of heart to heart conversations like this. You're doing a great job at writing them too.
It does feel like they're in a really good space here so that's a lot of fun to read. Very much feels like Jim has listened to her and he's back. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. Nice work.
Date: January 28, 2022 11:26 am Title: Chapter 8 - Pain, loneliness and you.
Yeah, Pam would definitely need a little extra stress relief on Mondays. That very much tracks!
Author's Response: Thank you darjeelingandcoke. You are awesome !!
Date: January 27, 2022 06:58 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Pain, loneliness and you.
The title for the chapter seems fine. You're talking about those things so it fits.
I get the feeling that last chapter when Pam said "I can't," she didn't quite realize the effect those two words would have on Jim. Fortunately she's not only pretty quick on the uptake but can also still read Jim enough to see she needed to clarify.
Jim's moment of panic though made complete sense. It's only their first date after all and all the feelings from the past are still there.
However more and more they're discovering they can move past the loneliness and pain. Especially since they've found they can make plans together now. Nice work
Yeah i felt that too warrior4. They both have been through a lot in past year and I am sure there are some emotional triggers that'll keep surfacing time to time, because you don't just "get over" the hurt. You work on them.
Thanks for the feedback.
Date: January 22, 2022 07:16 am Title: Chapter 1 - It's a Date
I like the way you've let them reflect on the past, and their insecurities, even though it looks like it's going in the right direction now. Then... ooft! Can't wait to see where you're going with this!
Thanks for posting!
Author's Response: Thank you Sam for the review. I am glad you felt that I was able to reflect on their insecurities and work on their feelings as a whole. I always imagined that nobody can just skip to the good parts. Its a journey. Let's see how you like the other part to my cliffhanger.
Date: January 21, 2022 10:14 pm Title: Chapter 7 - I can't
You really get a clear sense of just how hard the previous year was on them here. That there are so many things that are reminding them of past heartache. Yet, there's still laughter, fun, and desire coming out more and more. They still have baggage to unpack for sure, but their friendship is already re-blooming and it's wonderful to read.
Jim not really knowing what to expect from her seems to ring true as well. Pam has been this unapproachable thing for so long. The last time he tried flying that high, his wings melted and he crashed into the sea. Makes sense he'd be a bit more guarded now. But they're also now in a much different place. Maybe his wings won't melt this time around.
Nice job to bring that all out.
Thanks Warrior4 for that. It's such a pleasure to read your feedback. I feel like one of those mediocre writers, whose work is enhanced with the way it has been described and interpreted than just the work itself. I agree to everything you said. When someone is burned so bad, I am sure there are reservation and hesitations before one is ready to jump again.
I am working on getting their friendship repaired. It would be a slow journey though before we seem them giggling on screen.
Date: January 21, 2022 10:09 pm Title: Chapter 7 - I can't
Always love the contrast between Pam and Karen's reactions to the fall of Jan - it does feel like Pam and Jim would have both maintained a little affection for her at this point, in much the way they do for Dwight and Michael.
And this cliffhanger is just evil.
I totally agree darjeelingandcoke. Irespective of how bonkers Jan was, she had her moments of sensibilities and she did care about Michael in a weird way. And Jim and Pam have shown care for every colleague of theirs', despite of her their eccentricity.
I am glad you find the cliffhanger evil, because I can't wait to know how you feel about where I took the story from there.
Date: September 09, 2021 03:44 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Something New Something Old
Nice work here. There's still a lot of unresolved tension that's for sure. The signs of Karen's presence for example. However the subtext of Jim wanting to be back to who he really is was great to read.
I get that it's a little hard for them to get their footing again. It's been a hard year for both and their relationship has been strained. Makes sense that it'll take some time to get back to where they once were. However it also looks like they've got all the time in the world for it too.
Author's Response: Thank you warrior4. You are so wonderful and amazing. You ensure that you give me feedback on every chapter I post and I am grateful for that.
Date: September 09, 2021 11:31 am Title: Chapter 6 - Something New Something Old
I love Pam and Jim being confronted with the way Karen has left her mark on his space and how they continue to dance around it while also addressing it... and the callback to the driving lessons is a nice touch!
Author's Response: Thank you for picking up on that part. I really worked on the ways to keep Karen present in their bubble despite her being not there physically. Jim was dating her for months, she was more than a means to their happy ending. And they both has to acknowledge that their reluctance, confusion and cowardice has caused more hurt than they experienced.
Date: June 26, 2021 07:11 am Title: Chapter 5- Pam's Casa
I thought you did well here finding organic little moments for their past to come up. Feels realistic that she wouldn't so much stop and let the memories wash over her as much as various moments in the process would end up recalling different times she'd thought about this night.
I thought the Snoopy sheets were a nice detail - good mixture of comic and exploring the sexual tension between them. And Pam not *quite* being able to manage her shoes is VERY Pam Beesly.
Author's Response: Thank you for your time and review. I project myself in "Pam" and have had my own share of klutz experiences of heels, so this one came from that. I am glad you liked my little moments of flashbacks where they both still get stuck in Past and then try to center back to present. I am the worst person in writing anything sexual but you guys have been extremely supportive with whatever subtle stuff I could come up with.
Date: June 23, 2021 04:36 am Title: Chapter 5- Pam's Casa
I've just been catching up on this - I love a good fic about what happens after Pam says yes, and this one is so sweet! Although I also like the small notes of angst throughout (like Pam remembering her hair in this chapter, ouch), which I think feels very true to the fact that they haven't magically resolved everything at this point and still have stuff to talk about. I really like all the attention to detail with Pam's outfit in this one, her knowing that Jim fell in love with her in her boring work clothes, and the fact that she's wearing the shoes she got with the money from her wedding shoes - it's great. And I love their Snoopy exchange at the end, and where his thoughts jumped to with what Pam was saying, hehe. Can't wait to see what their date is like!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. You are one of my favorite write here so hearing from you is like a fan moment. I feel so happy that you like the slight angst among the sweet moments. I have added the link to Pam's dress and I hope you get time to check that out. It makes me so warm that you picked on little details of her shoes and snoopy sheets, I am not very good with suggestive dialogues or thoughts so it's good to know that you liked my version there. I hope you like the date, once I finally get around it.
Date: June 21, 2021 05:20 pm Title: Chapter 5- Pam's Casa
So great that you updated this story. Can’t wait to read more.
Of course I needed a visual of Pam’s clothes, but the link doesn’t work 🤷🏻r05;a92;a039; I’ll just use my imagination
I am so sorry about the stupid link. I don't understand why it is not working. It is such a nice picture of Jenna so I was really hoping I could share that with everyone. I am gonna figure that out though :)
I am glad you liked the update. Thank you !!
Date: June 21, 2021 04:21 pm Title: Chapter 5- Pam's Casa
An adorable mix of nervous and playful. They're both on pin and needles because this is a BIG thing for them. After all this time they're finally starting out really together. Why wouldn't they be nervous and analyzing everything.
Pam's speech about the flowers felt very heartfelt. Her asking him to pin up her favorite flower in her hair was swoon worthy. Just wonderful.
The tour was fun. We could feel the tension in her room. I don't think Jim would mind the Snoopy sheets. He probably thinks it adds more to a home like feeling.
Can't wait to see how the rest of the night goes.
I am so glad you liked the flower speech. It took me an hour to get it right (though I wish I could get it better). And that flower in her hair was my favorite part too so thank you! I was toying with creating the right tension, maintaining the T rating and not sounding too cliche. I am excited about the night though, still in works ;)
You are such a religious reviewer, Thank you for being my incredible source of motivation !!
Date: June 11, 2021 08:11 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Not enough for you
You packed a lot into that first paragraph. It said a lot that despite coming back, and even with a girlfriend, he'd still not fully unpacked, not sure after a half a year if he planned to stay. But to stay somewhere you have to be somewhere and up until tonight he wasn't really there.
Now you scared me by having his take a rest, but he got his s cond wind and what a sweet description, his whistling. And I like how you bring up the bit amount the money and what she had to accept as part of her choices.
The next chapter will be nice to see - keep it up. You've got a sweet story going here even with the angst in their past. The more you write, the more you find your voice.
Author's Response: That's such a nice way to put across, to stay somewhere you have to be there and he still wasn't, at least not until now. I am so glad you picked on little things I did there. It is such a compliment when writers like yourself, acknowledge work of some beginner like me. Thank you so much !!
Date: June 11, 2021 07:02 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Not enough for you
Jim still not being unpacked after six months actually sounds a lot like a Girl7 choice, as is Jim joyfully getting WAY the hell ahead of himself.
The dialogue at the end is a nice touch, and I really appreciate you acknowledging that Pam's finances may well have been in a bad state post-Roy.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I know expenses was truly something easily ignored but it's a real struggle added to what she has been through. Thank you for liking the part about being unpacked still. It was a risk I took if it would sound convincing enough. I really work hard on the dialogues because conversation is just not my forte, I am good at inner monologue so your words mean a lot :)
Date: June 11, 2021 05:41 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Not enough for you
It's angsty, but there's also more than a little hope shining through. They've both been through the wringer this year so it makes sense there would still be some underlying hesitation. Especially with his mini-montage of how everything has gone to this point.
It's been almost a year and Jim still hasn't unpack from the move back. I can see that. On the outside he puts on a mask of confidence, but there in private he's still reeling from everything.
Though the future is looking up that's for sure. Nice job.
Thank you for the support. I was sort of taking a risk, stating that a person could stay packed 6 months in, but I have done that Being in a place which didn't feel like home, I was pretty much living out of a suitcase myself. I do agree that despite of his cool exterior, he did have some insecurities which only surfaced on few occasions , especially after Casino Night, he became better at pretending.
Date: May 29, 2021 02:27 pm Title: Chapter 3 - This is it..or is it?
I love the notes of Dwight trying to recover his lost authority here, and Kevin being physically unable to restrain himself from referencing "The List" in front of Pam.
And I thought them finally texting again, and that leading Pam to go through their old texts felt like a very realistic detail and a good way of looking at their history.
Re: formatting. I usually just save the text as an html file and upload it like that - preserves the formatting.
Thank you for catching those little things. Yeah i thought Kevin is not one of the subtle guy. I think his biggest accomplishment was Oscar Angela and senator scandal. And well he didn't really anything here too so I guess I have to give him some credit. I am so glad you liked my text trail part. I tried to imagine in what I used to do ...in my dating days...well past the drama now but well it used to be fun :D
Thank you for the tip. I am gonna try it in future chapters.
Date: May 29, 2021 12:21 am Title: Chapter 3 - This is it..or is it?
So I went to read this chapter and wrote those last two reviews without remembering I'd already reviewed those chapter. I'm sure you're really upset about getting more reviews.
Anyway, again a good look into her mindset. The scroll through previous texts would yeah trigger some memories. Especially if one of the last one's was the unanswered text after Diwalli. However she's in a better mental place now. And also Jim does text her back. It's delightful to see how such a seemingly simple thing could improve her mood so much. Nice job.
Can't wait to see your version of their date.
Oh Not at all. I am glad you reviewed my chapters again. More the merrier. :)
Thank you for saying that about the text thing. I thought a lot about how to get the text thing simple yet meaningful, your words helped me feel so pleased that it did get through somewhere in my chapter. Keep the love coming :)
Date: May 29, 2021 12:14 am Title: Chapter 2 - What was the question ?
Pam's excitement to be in this moment with Jim is palpable. After a very long year fill with to this point some of the hardest growth she's ever gone through, the timing is right and she and Jim are really and truly about to start out on a path completely together. She didn't have to put on extra make-up, wear a special outfit, or anything like that. She just lived up to her own potential and was the same silly, down-to-earth, beautifully simple Pam he fell in love with.
The prize is the real Jim is finally back and he's hers. Loved it. Onto the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review, as always. Yeah I could only imagine that year long yearning can fill you up with so much emotions. I am totally on in with you that she doesn't need anything different because he fell for her dorky self before anything else. Looking forward to your feedback on future chapters.
Date: May 29, 2021 12:08 am Title: Chapter 1 - It's a Date
Good peak into his mind here. I'm sure there were a lot of feelings bouncing around in his head during that day. He's fresh off his break-up with Karen and it's just after asking Pam out. So it really fits he's still a little confused. Nice way to get all that together.
Thanks Warrior. I always felt that Jim won't be a complete jerk to just jump from Karen to Pam without a second glance or conflicted feelings. I feel that's part of the reason he didn't go after Pam right after her Beach speech. Life is not as simple as be changed by just words, there are actions to follow and consequences to face.
Once again thank you for encouragement. Needs all of it from someone so great !!
Date: February 27, 2021 10:59 am Title: Chapter 2 - What was the question ?
True fact: Jim and Karen would've lasted one week maximum if Jim had been at his old desk. And Pam knows it.
Author's Response: Yeah I guess Jim would have a hard time ignoring Pam then, especially with the amount of time she invested staring at him. Karen definitely would have had it harder, not understanding what's happening with two weirdly familiar strangers. Guess it all worked out.
Date: February 27, 2021 10:59 am Title: Chapter 2 - What was the question ?
True fact: Jim and Karen would've lasted one week maximum if Jim had been at his old desk. And Pam knows it.
Author's Response: Yeah I have to say that I agree with that. Old habits die hard, especially the ones cultivated over years filled with flirting and jellybeans a86;a039;
Date: February 26, 2021 01:56 pm Title: Chapter 2 - What was the question ?
This is really sweet! I'm not sure I can ever read enough about Jim finally coming back properly and them getting together, and there are some really nice touches in this - Pam reading all the subtle changes in the back of Jim's neck, Michael's confusion over a veterinarian (lol), and just Pam's whole excitement in this chapter. Looking forward to reading more!
Thank you. You are really generous with your words.
I am extremely touched that you took out time to read and review my work, especially since you noticed little things I did with my characters and their thoughts.
And coming from a gifted writer like you, can’t ask for more :)