You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans
Reviewer: Moonstream05 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 26, 2021 08:39 am Title: Best Pizza in Town

I really enjoyed this chapter, the contrasting Cugino 'dates' were great. 

I'm also really liking this Jim here, like how even when he first met her, he was very encouraging of her art, and that he knew a lot more about her and Roy's relationship than he let on. I am also very intrigued onto why he left Philadelphia and Athlead, so I'm really excited to find out more about that. I also like how he is still very supportive of her now, and that he stopped laughing and tried to comfort her when he saw she was put down.

I also really like Pam here too, she seems to be calming down on her 'hatred' and seems to be going for a more laid back disdain. And her opening pick up line was brilliant, that had me laughing quite a bit.

Also Jim choking about Michael and Dwight saying those things was great.

I also kinda hope that this newly developed Jim and Pam friendship follows through to the office.

Anyway, I'm really enjoying this story so far, it's really interesting and entertaining!

:) 



Author's Response: Thank you so much!

The first date was really a play on how sweet Jim can be and his intentions were entirely pure. What I did want to show on the second date was he really does care for her on a certain level. He just has his own douchey way of showing it.
 
With Pam, I think she doesn't hate him as much as she lets herself believe. Granted, she really does think that he's a douche but she has a soft spot for him.
 
We'll see how long I can keep this friendship up *wink* 

Reviewer: Basscop69 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 25, 2021 01:22 pm Title: Best Pizza in Town

Gah, I loved so many things about this chapter! Their first Cugino's lunch, and Pam drawing Jim, was just so sweet (I also lol'd at Jim spluttering over why all the previous receptionists left, I'm really enjoying that running gag) - and I'm now very intrigued about the backstory for him doing a reverse Philly Jim. And then present day Cugino's! Jim asking Pam what she liked in Danny was great - I really liked her spelling out that it was just him being a nice guy and a decent human being (but obviously the 'just tell me seeing him really turns you on' line was then incredible). And then Jim and Pam daring each other to ask people out was just perfect, and Pam first disastrous attempt ('aftermath' cracked me up) - I'm really glad for her that she did then succeed though. And then she hugged him! Combined with an awkward high five, which feels very them. I also feel like Jim is maybe a bit more bothered by Pam's numerous rejections of him than he's letting on...

Author's Response: Thank you so much!


I needed art to come into play at some point since it's Pam's forte and I wanted it to be a sweet moment between her and Jim.
 
Philly Jim I have a rough idea of how it will come into play but I'm not sure when to execute it.
 
Hands down, the scene with Jim asking Pam what she liked about Danny had me cracking up. It just seemed so funny to have Jim be that douchey.
 
I was planning to have Jim comfort Pam all through the day but I figured it was best for Pam to manage fine by herself. 

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 24, 2021 10:29 am Title: Best Pizza in Town

so it really felt like the antagonism Pam feels for Jim has eased off here. She's still not his biggest fan, but this felt more like friendly teasing rather than outright loathing on her end. Again her words are going one way but her actions another. She says she wants to get to know Danny, but she still spends her time with Jim. She's even the one to instigate that hug there.

Jim seemed to have toned himself down a bit too. Granted he's still trying, and bascially succeeding to be Mr. Cool, but it's Pam he's really paying attention to.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!  

Pam still does continue to have that internal struggle. It's like that "I hate you but I don't" type of thing. I think she has a soft spot for him which she continuously denies.

Jim, I just love writing him up as a douche but I hope I still get to bring out that sweet side of him. 

Reviewer: Basscop69 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 23, 2021 10:50 am Title: Sprinkle of Cinnamon

Haha, Michael’s bucket list! (I especially loved the ‘travel back in time?’) Brilliant. Their first meeting continues to be very sweet - and then Jim dragging her off to lunch at Cugino’s as Dwight finds out about the stapler was perfect.

And then so many great things back in the present - Pam’s first thought being that he’s a douche for keeping a picture of himself before she realises she’s in his bed was hilarious, and I really like the notes that he left her (especially the last one), and the whole ‘take a picture’ exchange, plus Jim being so turned on by her in his shirt. And they kissed!! And she immediately threw up, lol. I love the way you’ve woven all the flashbacks into this.

Basically, I’m just loving this whole story - can’t wait for their second Cugino’s lunch!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

 Michael's bucket list was a gem for me. I kept asking myself, what ridiculous thing would Michael ask Pam to do in 2011? And I went with it. 

 The picture of Jim in the bedroom was also funny. I was also thinking about what's the douchiest thing he could have in his bedroom. That was it.

 The kiss, I almost backed out on but I just remembered how cute the kiss at the Dundies (in the show) and I wanted to have something resembling that.

And with the flashbacks, I got a lot of inspiration from when I read your story (It would've been you). I mean it's one of my favorite stories here and I loved how you integrated it all together and that's what I hope to achieve here as well.

Reviewer: Once Signed [Report This]
Date: March 23, 2021 08:06 am Title: Sprinkle of Cinnamon

The Captain America shield did make me smile. There are many more of us MCU fans than I thought. LOL

I don't think Reed Richards is is going to happen. The first nail in the coffin was just how long the negotiations had gone on.
Marvel has indicated that they want a more diverse cast. They did cast a black actor as one of Richards future descendants in Phase 4 or 5. Sorry, I didn't save the link where I read it online as that was the second nail in the coffin for me. I gave up hope even though I made sure to watch Wandavision for any clues (what a disappointment that was).
Here's the third nail. Blunt is supposedly out. https://bgr.com/2021/03/21/marvel-movies-fantastic-four-cast-emily-blunt/ Her reason raises more questions for me. A peek at IMDB Pro doesn't shed any light on the matter. No, I didn't subscribe to it just for this. I grew up in LA, and it's a way to keep up with old friends whom I've lost touch with over the years; it's cheaper, more targeted, and more accurate than subscriptions to Variety and Hollywood Reporter.
At least we have that wonderful fan art of Krasinski as Mr. Fantastic

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

Yes! I am a huge MCU fan and then I became a huge Office fan.

It's so sad if Emily is really out but I was half expecting that the two of them won't do it at the same time given it will be too time consuming.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 21, 2021 03:43 pm Title: Sprinkle of Cinnamon

A really interesting chapter to be sure. The flashback still seems par for canon though. I'm guessing Pam's going to find out that this Jim is doing his thing gets upset because she thinks he just sees her as the latest addition to his number of conquests. They really do seem to hit it off there in the start.

Her annoyance at everything as she wakes up was really interesting. Here's the thing for me. The persona Jim seems to have outside his place and how you've described things here seem at odds. The Mr. Cool bed every woman he can salesman outside the office and the dorky family guy Jim one might expect from canon there in his room. To me it seems like there's two different guys there. Especially with how he takes care of her. Clearly this Jim knows quite a bit about Pam.

His thoughts after her drunken kiss seem to lead me to believe that that love lorn longing glances Jim we know from canon is somewhere under all the layers of Mr. Cool. Should be interesting to see where we go from here.

Also once more Pam decides against Danny and turns to Jim. She may say she hates him, but her choices and actions keep saying something else. Good writing to bring that out.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!


Yup, the flashback is in line with canon. But you're also right in a sense that it won't last, but how exactly it'll happen remains to be seen.
 
I still make sure that even with this version of Jim, it's still the Jim Halpert we know and love. Just extra douchey. In my initial drafts, I always go all out and just make him so unlikeable and then I tone it down in the editing.
 
Yeah, with Pam, I think she thinks that she knows what she wants but her actions really are telling her otherwise. I wonder what's causing that? 

Reviewer: Guten Schriftsteller Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 21, 2021 12:40 pm Title: Sprinkle of Cinnamon

Interesting that you start the chapter with what we know was Pam’s first moment where she realized she likes Jim, yet later she clearly has a disdain for him, I can’t wait to see where the rift came from.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

 Yeah, I decided to use that element but given my characterization of Jim for this story, it won't end well. I have the storyline for it ready, it just has to be written. 

Reviewer: Merria Signed [Report This]
Date: March 21, 2021 12:26 pm Title: Sprinkle of Cinnamon

I love this story so much! I can’t help but think of Van Halen’s Running with the Devil every time I see the title. It should be the soundtrack to this great fic 😁
Many jellybeans

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

I actually listened to the song and it's awesome! Thanks for introducing me to it!

 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 21, 2021 12:16 pm Title: Sprinkle of Cinnamon

HA! He grew the beard at her suggestion. Oh, Jim. Even when you're a douche, you're still a sap.

Okay, I love the touch with the post-it notes, and the details in Jim's room are good. (Hoping that box is going to come around again.) The "Take a picture, it'll last longer" exchanges are hilarious. Pam just can't seem to get the upper hand here.

Wonder how long it'll take her to remember the kiss???

Author's Response: Thank you much for the review (and catching up on the story)


Yea, I just laughed at the thought that he grew a beard and it was all Pam's fault.
 
The box is definitely a setup for something, although it remains to be seen. The "Take a picture" moments were definitely my favorite and it's an ode to the time Ryan was watching Hannah breastfeed.
 
As for the kiss, we'll see. 

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 21, 2021 12:04 pm Title: Hottest in the Office

Hoping the supply closet is foreshadowing.

Interesting to see Jim and Pam clicking on their first day as well here... and the little incidents of Jim failing at flirting with someone he's actually invested in.

Again, I just really like this tenser version of Jim and Pam banter - and you've done well giving us a sense that in Jim's case there's some real affection there. This is just really entertaining.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!


The supply closet will definitely play into the story soon, that much I can say.
 
With Jim, I really have to strike a balance between sweet/dorky and douchey (which is basically 80% douchey lol). He's so confident in himself but he has a heart in there, somewhere.

Reviewer: darjeelingandcoke Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 21, 2021 11:36 am Title: Photocopies and Jellybeans

Look, I'm here because I'm a sucker for best-friends-with-unrequited-mutual-longing... but I am really entertained by this version of belligerent-sexual-tension JAM. It's fun seeing their gentle teasing in a different context, along with Jim using his charm in a less charming manner. Should be a fun ride!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

Cocky Jim has been my most favorite creation since I have to come up with ways to make him likable despite his personality. 

Reviewer: Basscop69 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 18, 2021 02:22 pm Title: Hottest in the Office

I loved the flashback to their first meeting (and Pam assuming literally everyone she meets is the reason previous receptionists have quit, lol) - I'm intrigued to know when/how she stopped thinking Jim could be her friend. And then the Dundies! And Jim in his maroon suit winning hottest in the office 😍 I also really enjoyed the small moment of Ryan pretending to be embarrassed and both Jim and Pam catching it. And I agree with another review here, you did a really good job of showing how awkward she is around Danny (I always wondered how their dates on the show went and how he decided she was a dork, and I feel like the way you've written it here is really realistic), and then how much more herself she is with Jim, even with their antagonism. And then the ending, with Jim helping her out of the bar, giving her a piggyback to his car, their exchange at the end, was just perfect!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

I have multiple reasons as to why they won't be friends. Well, at least in Pam's mind because Jim does care.

I remember how Danny won that award in the show over Ryan so I just figured why not use it and have Jim win it?

I'm still working out how the Danny thing will play out but yes, Pam tries too hard with him and it doesn't have that same natural flow with Jim, as much as she feels like she hates him.

The ending, I needed Jim to show his soft side because I don't want to go too far on the other spectrum where he's this bad boy/player stereotype. I still need him to be nice Jim.

 

Reviewer: lazyloris Signed [Report This]
Date: March 17, 2021 06:43 pm Title: Hottest in the Office

Loving this story and such an original premise! I would like some more backstory about why Jim is such an ass and hope we see more sweet Jim!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!


There is a backstory behind it for sure. We'll just have to wait and see when it will be revealed.

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 17, 2021 06:29 pm Title: Hottest in the Office

The day they met felt similar to canon I'll give you that much. Pam's initial impression that she and Jim would be friends. However with this version of Jim I can see how that wouldn't last. What I do find interesting is that despite Pam not really liking Jim, she is actually kind of sort of drawn to him. While she puts her foot in her mouth every time with Danny, it's with Jim she's dare I say confident and almost more herself. Jim seems to be there for her too.Case in point he is the one to get her home rather than suggest Danny be the guy who does so. I have an idea of why he might be acting like this so as the story goes on we'll see how it goes.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

Yes, I already have the structure of how it will all play out but there are about two or three reasons why things will turn sour for them in the flashbacks.

And yes, with Pam and Danny, it's really designed for Pam to falter because she's overthinking with him. And with Jim, as much as he annoys her, there's something natural with them. 

 

Reviewer: Merria Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 17, 2021 01:37 pm Title: Hottest in the Office

More please! I love this Jim and Pam dynamic

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Chapter 3 is up.

Reviewer: Astropastel Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 16, 2021 02:38 pm Title: Photocopies and Jellybeans

Don't tease us to long! This take on our favorite is very intriguing to say the very least. Again please don't tease us to long. Can't wait to see where this leads!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

Chapter 2 is up! 

Reviewer: Merria Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 15, 2021 02:13 pm Title: Photocopies and Jellybeans

I love this premise!!! More please

Author's Response: Chapter 2 is up!

Reviewer: warrior4 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 15, 2021 11:06 am Title: Photocopies and Jellybeans

It's a different take on their relationship that's for sure. Kinda wonder if there's any backstory for why he's like that. Should be interesting to see where it all goes from here though.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

Without spoiling anything, yes there is but I'm not sure when it will play out or if it will play out. It's a rough idea in my notebook but it's there. 

Reviewer: Once Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 15, 2021 06:39 am Title: Photocopies and Jellybeans

Halfway through the first chapter you had me invested in the paradigm shift.
Danny - the nice guy
Jim - The Manwhore of Scranton (That had me cracking up since he could have been that all along)
Cathy - a cross between Ryan and Karen

I do like that you've updated Pam's language to include coarser vocabulary and more direct conversation. It's a sign of the times as language evolves and propriety changes.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

Other than Mark Sloan, my other thought process was if I turned Jim into JK if he was a total douche (which as far as I know, he's not). And I just couldn't let the manwhore thing slide because of how much it made me left.

I rarely see Cathy here so I wanted to utilize her. And I need her to be the crazy ex-girlfriend.

With Pam yes, badly put, I needed her to grow a pair because she has to stand up to Jim since he's a much more direct person in this story. 

 

Reviewer: jessgregory Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 14, 2021 11:25 pm Title: Photocopies and Jellybeans

Ohhhhh boy. Thought I was a sucker for angst/fluff and only angst/fluff. Mark Sloan-like Jim is so entertaining since it's such a contrast from sweet Jim in the show. Can't wait to read more banter between Jim and Pam!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! 

When I was creating this particular Jim, I definitely had Mark Sloan in mind. I still crack up when the nurses formed a strike against him so I went with it.

I still had to make him somewhat goofy despite all that exterior because I still wanted him to have a resemblance to the actual Jim Halpert. 

Reviewer: Basscop69 Signed 1 [Report This]
Date: March 14, 2021 11:59 am Title: Photocopies and Jellybeans

I love this! I am actually really enjoying cocky/manwhore Jim, it’s a different take but I feel like you’ve still made him likeable and with enough underlying chemistry with Pam (I love that he knows her well enough to know she’s interested in Danny straight away) that I’m hooked. I’m also v excited by the idea of Jim as her wingman (/maybe being a bit too interested in her love life and noticing her red lipstick). Can’t wait for the Dundies!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! 

I really could not let the idea of Jim being a manwhore go and I'm glad he still appeared to be likeable and somewhat goofy.  He is definitely not a bad boy lol. The length of this story will depend on how far Jim will take this wingman thing go, to be perfectly honest so expect it to drag on.

You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans