Date: May 04, 2022 05:38 am Title: Chapter 8 End up together, forever
I do wish it was Jim of course, but that's coming from an unapologetic JAM shipper and one who always loves a good Pam or Jim find their courage early AU fic. But I get the fact they can't all be like that.
Anyway, nice for Pam to get some more perspective here. It's really starting to sink in that she's just not looking forward to this wedding. Because those thoughts are bouncing around she's also starting to figure out that Roy isn't the guy for her. Yes, it's a slow process, but that's also early season Pam. It takes her a while to get out of her comfort zone but it's also not impossible. That's what I'm seeing here.
Date: April 19, 2022 11:10 am Title: Chapter 7- Wedding bells
Well, if writing for The Office can help build up honesty and courage, the creators have done their jobs. And we get more Honesty and Courage along with it.
I feel like you captured the right note with Phyllis here - half trying to cheer on her ship and half just kind of being a jerk because she can. And Meredith's tendency to bury pathos under her oversharing is great.
Author's Response: Thank You !! I felt Meredith was quite a misunderstood character. Despite of how she was treated, or how she was, she just won my heart in season 9 and I felt that she deserves more respect than what she gets.
Date: April 18, 2022 09:18 pm Title: Chapter 7- Wedding bells
“Angela was particularly horrified and passed in jiffy whispering something about - not proper for a lady and how they’ll go to hell for talking about intercourse at lunch. Pam wondered if Dwight prefers the intercourse after meal times.”
This made me cackle :)
Is Jim really calling? SHE MADE “SING” HIS RINGTONE 🥺
Thank You. I don't do well writing other characters because I feel very close to Pam but I try to include them here and there. I am glad that brought a smile for you.
"Sing" is a special ringtone and it is definitely reserved for special moment :)
Date: April 18, 2022 06:15 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Doves vs Love
Really enjoying all the Pam insight in this story. Had to stop and point out the line “It’s like she is marrying herself.” because wow that slapped. It seems like exactly what Pam would need to realize to wake up and dump Roy. Nice work!
Date: April 18, 2022 05:54 pm Title: Chapter 7- Wedding bells
Nice look into Pam's mindset to be sure here. How rather than feeling excited for the wedding, she's just feeling like it's work. Hello big old red flag snapping in the wind. Then when she sees how excited Phyllis is and some actually sage words from Meredith. Easy to see how all that could contribute to everything she's feeling. Same with her missing Jim.
But now what's this here at the end? Jim is calling her? Kind of seems like it. Really looking forward to seeing where you lead us with this.
Author's Response: I wanted to give the impression that it was him. But as per canon, that didn't happen and I didn't want to 'initiate' anything before it was meant to be. You are so right, that's a blaring red flag but it's Pam and she is just waking up from this sleep where red flags has been raining on her which she is responsible for ignoring for the longest time.
Date: February 02, 2022 12:39 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Empty inside
Love the Penny voice here, and I think this is an important insight about the interconnections that would have formed between Pam and Roy's family - after ten years, they may as well be her family already. Not to mention the sheer amount of history between them spending so much of their formative years together. I think you're correctly identifying that that would be a weight on Pam.
Dear Lorde this Roy is awful though. What a jerk!
Exactly. One can't wipe history of a relationship which involves two families by just saying you don't want to be together. There are people concerned and feelings involved and that complicates things way more.
Thanks for liking my Penny. I didn't want to make her come across as someone who doesn't care about Pam's emotions but she was young and naive since she has lived away and doesn't know much how her sister has been feeling lately.
Date: February 02, 2022 08:13 am Title: Chapter 6 - Empty inside
So this does give us some more context as to why this is so hard for Pam. She knows it's not just her and Roy that would be upset. There are so many other people who would be affected in the fallout. As Pam says in canon, she doesn't like it when people think bad of her. She'd rather sacrifice her own happiness in order to avoid other people from being hurt or thinking bad of her. While it can be an honorable trait to sacrifice one's own desires for other people, it can also open oneself up to a life where one never does anything for oneself and thus any chance of true happiness goes away. That's what I see when I read the part where Pam thinks about going home. Home is just there. Nothing new or exciting or even really welcoming. It's just there.
Author's Response: Thanks @warrior4. That's how I feel happens to many people who end up marrying the wrong person knowingly because the drama of saying No is too much to take at that point and you choose other's people happiness over yours. Pam has been very compassionate throughout the series and I guess calling off the wedding and not caring is just not her. And yeah, once you have lived at a place for years, after losing the feeling for that place - it's just home and not anything you connect with.
Date: January 26, 2022 04:11 am Title: Chapter 5 - Love you/Love you not
Interesting response from Pam's mom...with what she might already know but I see from your response to another review there may be more to come on that.
But I can also see it as Helene's wedding probably had a parallel similarity in the way it wasn't maybe everything she had always dreamed it would be but "good enough" and I liked how her pep talk was centered around the family they built and not so much about the love between her and her husband ... that seems about right knowing where there marriage winds up.
Glad Pam still has her doubts. Listen to them Pam.
Thank you Maxine for picking up on that. I am from India, and that particular part about marriage centered around "Family" is something which has been very important element in our culture. This unfortunately, has been reason of many unhappy marriages but also have strengthened many weak bonds.
Either way, it may not be the best approach to look at marriage, without focusing on individuals involved in the relationship. Pam is getting there I am sure, thanks for sticking with her through this.
Date: January 21, 2022 10:06 pm Title: Chapter 5 - Love you/Love you not
I think this is an interesting take on what took Pam so long to call off the wedding... it does seem quite plausible that her family, and in particular a mother who has made her peace with her own unhappy marriage, might not have been quite open to her doubts about Roy, and that might have pushed her in the wrong direction before she ended up in the right place.
Author's Response: Thanks darjeelingandcoke, that's how I felt about Pam's mom too. She was one of the biggest supporter of Pam throughout the series but I truly feel that when it comes to marriage, she may not have best collection of advices until she made peace with fate of her own. Which in my understanding happened in season 9. But Pam, would have her moment of clarity, and it's coming.
Date: January 21, 2022 11:23 am Title: Chapter 4 - Doves vs Love
So you had me at the Voldemort but and I don’t think it’s any big secret why. According to my head canon Roy has never read the books (or any for that matter) and not all that into the movies. Jim on other hand, they could talk HP for hours.
Good job with the rest too. Is she starting to realize how wrong the man who can’t make a phone call for *their* wedding is?
See I didn't even think that it could be canon too, Roy not understanding Voldemort reference. He was sort of an ignorant one for sure. She is indeed beginning to realize that things are not that perfect but we are waiting for that final push. I guess it would come sooner than later now. Only a week to her wedding and lot needs to be done.
Date: January 21, 2022 11:13 am Title: Chapter 3 Not Roy
Nice that you brought this one back as it gave me a chance to catch up with older chapters.
Yup that’s Pam. No sudden movements. All things planned. No risks taken.
But no risk no reward Pam. Otherwise you get stuck eating Vanilla yogurt that you don’t even like anymore.
Good job with the bit of that and the way she’s kind of drawn back to her safety zone with Roy even after he leaves her to plan their wedding alone as he gets “sloshed”.
Looking forward to seeing how this goes
Author's Response: Thank you so much Maxine for picking up that analogy I was trying to make with the vanilla yogurt. I think I over did it a bit but it feels great that at least someone able to discern the rambling there. Thank you for your encouraging words and I hope you like how it goes.
Date: January 21, 2022 07:25 am Title: Chapter 5 - Love you/Love you not
I find this chapter curious. Especially considering Pam called Helene on Casino Night. Now it's kind of up to personal interpretation if Pam told her mom that she was in love with Jim rather than Roy at that moment. Point is, clearly Helene knows Pam has had some serious issues recently. Probably more than just cold feet the day or two before the wedding.
The other big thing is that Pam feels very alone in this one. She's having doubts but no one is truly listening to her. Not Helene, Penny, or Roy. The one person who would listen to her is gone. It really puts her into a low point mentally.
The other thing is that Pam's family seem to see the surface level things. To them Roy takes care of Pam fine. However the truth is that Roy only takes care of Pam for selfish reasons rather than out of love for her. Same with the wedding. Feels more like it's going forward due to obligation rather than real love. I can almost hear the red flags snapping in the wind.
Nice work getting into Pam's headspace there.
Thank you @warrior4 for picking that up about Helene. There will indeed be some more explanation coming up in future chapter regarding that part. Also, with Helene and how her marriage ended, I somehow felt that she also didn't have a very objective understanding of how happy marriages work for real.
Thank you for liking Pam's headspace. I truly felt that Pam didn't have the support she needed in those days to clear head and think things through. That's why she called it off few days before instead of sooner. There are all these red flags and we just have wait until she picks them up.
Once again I appreciate your time and feedback. Cheers !
Date: August 20, 2021 06:26 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Doves vs Love
Pam sort of reflexively thinking of how much Jim would appreciate the Voldemort comparison like that's the standard she holds things to, and the way he's just a constant part of her thought process is PAINFUL and very Pam.
Again, I appreciate the hints of why Pam and Roy *once* worked alongside all the evidence that they don't work anymore... gives some context to why Pam lasted this long.
Author's Response: Thanks DJC. Pam didn’t realize how much Jim was part of her heart and mind until he was not there around her. Something she is going to realize very soon.
Date: August 20, 2021 04:52 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Doves vs Love
She's getting closer to figuring things out that's for sure. However, she's still trying to cling to the last vestiges of her relationship with Roy. Kind of heartbreaking to see in a way. She wants to be with a man who takes care of her, takes interest in her, a guy who will listen to her and be there for her. Roy might have been that guy once upon a time, but clearly he's not anymore. For him to tell her "it's just a day thing," about their wedding and to insult her mother's cooking should have been the biggest of red flags there. Something tells me he's going to "forget" to get even the simple task she's set for him done. Hopefully she'll be able to get some perspective at her family's house.
I also liked the actual conversation Pam was having with Roy rather than just narration about it. You had a good voice for both of them there.
Looking forward to more.
Warrior4, you are spot on once again. Roy and Pam were great together at some point but she grew up in a different person and he just didn’t realize. Thank you for mentioning that you liked the conversation with dialogues than narration. You already know how hard that this is, but I am trying to work on my skills to reduce narration.
thank you for your encouragement, like always:)
Date: July 14, 2021 08:25 pm Title: Chapter 3 Not Roy
First off - that was a classic and very in character Phyllis line about skinny dipping. Lol.
I thought you did well with Pam's confused and inconsistent state of mind here. She's reeling and reaching and rationalizing and very much not in touch with herself. Feels right.
And the Roy exchange at the end is so telling. He's awful, and all it takes is the one mention of Jim - one that makes clear he is not in touch with a major life development for even a non-in-love-with-someone-else Pam - to send her spiraling and blaming herself and vowing to make it up to him.
Author's Response: Thank you for noticing the little bit about Phyllis. I am not great with other characters and usually steer away from putting them in my story. I am glad you liked the little bit of them in there. I think Roy was ignorant for a very long time but Pam was too scared to admit that to herself. And you are spot on, Jim's absence is monumental in Pam's mental state and Roy, as usual has no idea.
Date: July 13, 2021 07:49 pm Title: Chapter 3 Not Roy
Feels like she's getting more perspective on things. What she wants, what she's settling for, that kind of thing. I get why she'd have some anger at Jim here. He did abandon her after dropping two huge bombs on her life. Roy is Roy. It's really going to hit him out of the blue when she calls off the wedding. Though it really shouldn't. Nice job.
It definitely is. I think before Ro, it's going to hit Pam because she is pretty oblivious herself. There are little things but she is too resistant to admit. She is getting there though.
Thank you for staying with her through this :)
Date: July 13, 2021 04:58 pm Title: Chapter 3 Not Roy
I don't think there's not enough going on; it's just going on inside her head. I do hope she can get some things straightened out for herself!
Author's Response: Thank you. I am trying to keep it Canon compliant. So when she said she called off her wedding few days ago, I want to bring her to that point which breaks the camel's back.
Date: July 11, 2021 08:04 pm Title: Chapter 2- Changing hearts, Changing Minds
Oh I'm always here for a good idiot Roy. And this is prime: ignoring and unaware in spades.
Author's Response: Oh Yeah Totally. Roy was super ignorant. It's really interesting that not only them, but the people with them don't realize it too.
Date: July 11, 2021 08:02 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The day I lost my Best friend
Ouch. This is a good version of Pam and her inner monologue. Points for homeostasis!
Thank you so much. I am so glad you liked my work and you left reviews for each of my chapter. I hope you liked the 3rd one as well :)
Date: July 03, 2021 06:10 pm Title: Chapter 2- Changing hearts, Changing Minds
I enjoyed the quick throwback to Pam's perspective on Jim's absence in The Carpet - feels like we get a lot of what he thinks in fic from that episode and not a lot of hers. And that felt accurate to Pam at that point in the story - aware that something was wrong but it never really occurs to her that that's meaningful.
The ham-and-cheese sandwiches for dinner is a nice little detail. Oh, Pam. Your subconscious is trying to tell you something, hun. Also enjoyed that brief moment of Pam being comforted by knowing her way around Roy and his predictability before being reminded at all she's sacrificing for it.
I thought this was an effective sort of slow build towards Pam realizing what she wants to do about the wedding. It feels true to her character and to what we know about the timeline in canon.
I am so glad you liked it. I wrote it so briefly but it pleases me that you caught it and enjoyed that part. It is so rewarding to know when your reader takes time to not only indulge in your work but also makes it a point to share those little parts they liked. Ham-and -cheese part was my personal favorite. It is like being on autopilot, you just do things you don't even realize until you do :)
It is indeed going to be a super slow build so I hope you keep finding it interesting. Thank you so much for taking out time and reviewing. Appreciate it deeply, like always :)
Date: July 02, 2021 06:44 pm Title: Chapter 2- Changing hearts, Changing Minds
A valiant effort to try and get back to normal on Pam's part, but it's clear she's had her eyes opened. Yes she knows Roy, but it's clear he doesn't know her nor values her or who she is. It's almost as if her sense of self got pretty much shattered on Casino Night so she's tried her best to bind it up. But the wall of denial has been broken past repair and she finally has some perspective. She knows Jim's true feelings, she knows how it feel like to be valued by someone who loves her, and she's also getting a taste of the pain and numbness of what it means when he's gone.
Meanwhile there's Roy still not really putting in any effort and she can see it too. I've got a feeling that after all this, it's the final straw that breaks the camel's back in regards to marrying Roy.
Thank you so much for your review. You are correct, Pam knew Roy well but somehow not the other way around. She is indeed gaining perspective and sadly it's coming at the cost of pain and misery of losing Jim so abruptly. she would need so much more than a perspective to really clear up her mind and make a resolve.
Roy is..well still Roy. He wouldn't know what he hit him. We are almost there but just not yet.
Thanks again for your time, to share your thoughts and comments.
Date: June 19, 2021 10:25 am Title: Chapter 1 - The day I lost my Best friend
This feels accurate to how she must have been feeling after Casino Night. The only thing I'd have is that depending on how you read it, Pam admitted to her mom that she was in love with Jim before they kissed. Which of course being so close to the wedding with Roy would probably add another level of guilt to her.
However the feeling of numbness and shock came across well. Her defaulting to something familiar like a prank also rings true for me as well. All in all not bad. Looking forward to seeing your take on Pam during this time.
Thank you for your precious words. You are so right about the subjective interpretation of Pam’s Phonecall with her mom. I always felt that her mom did not make deep observation but perhaps just a slight nudge. Pam may not have been very receptive with total confrontation, but again that’s just how I see her.
I am glad you liked the prank part. I do feel that it must be life changing to lose a friend without a warning and yet you can’t complain.
Date: June 19, 2021 06:57 am Title: Chapter 1 - The day I lost my Best friend
I like what you've done with Pam's denial here and the way she really has just on Casino Night started to consciously process what's been going on with the two of them. The way you write her fear and avoidance and how frozen she is waiting for Jim to show up feels free true to the Pam who ends up just... not calling Jim until he shows up on her door stop again.
Some of the details were really strong - Dwight being the only other one who immediately reacts to Jim's absence, the games with moving her computer, Michael's assumption that Pam *must* have known. And Phyllis getting a little snippy at the end tracks with the Phyllis who feels bad for Jim's hopeless crush.
Looking forward to reading more of this.
I am floored by your gracious feedback. You took our time not just read but bring in those little pointers around to understand what I was trying to do there.Thank you for being such a meticulous reader to my story, it fills my heart up that you liked my interpretation and the little parts I try to put it in to stay true to character.
you are a superstar Darjeelingandcoke !