1 [Report This]Date: April 22, 2022 07:57 pm Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars
I meant Booze Cruise, force of habit! xD
Author's Response: I figured - but that would be an interesting other story - jumping forward to Casino Night - time travel style.
1 [Report This]Date: April 22, 2022 07:57 pm Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars
Pam's looking back on Casino night HURT :(
But I LOVED THIS!!
Date: September 28, 2021 08:04 pm Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars
So it feels a bit like a filler chapter, but there'e nothing wrong with that. There's a lot of great stuff in here. From Pam feeling like she has to switch between mother to embarrassed daughter due to Micheal's antics. You wrote that relationship really well. Especially with Micheal pulling out a character like that.
Seems like Pam is doing more thinking about the night of the Booze Cruise. Hindsight may be 20/20 but Future Pam here only has two weeks of hindsight to reflect on as well as her recent trip with Roy which appears to have overshadowed some of the other things going on that night. But she is also becoming more aware of everything that happened. Her relief that Jim and Katy were done. How she was feeling while up on deck with Jim. So she may not have 20/20 hindsight just yet, but it's getting clearer.
Hoo boy, she's heading back to the boat with Future Micheal? This seems like it's going to be a challenge for sure. However we also have Randall who appears to know there's a Future Pam on the prowl. Maybe she'll have an ally. She also has two more weeks to mull things over before she catches up with her own timeline. Lots of possibilities for sure. Nice job.
Author's Response:
A bit of filler - a bit of set up and explanation, a bit of foreshadowing. A little appetizer before we get to the real meal.
As usual you have good insights - and I think you'll enjoy where this is going but there will still be some surprises along the way.
Thanks as always for a great review.
1 [Report This]Date: September 28, 2021 11:42 am Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars
You always do such a good job with the mother-son dynamic between Pam and Michael, and you put it to really great comic use here. As if time travel wasn't challenge enough for her. He really just finds so many different ways to be irritating in this chapter... appreciate you pulling out the Elvis accent! Seriously, though... he really is about the last choice you'd make for a partner in time travel.
Michael thinking that time travelling means he gets two paychecks this week is perfect Michael logic, and his attempt to joke with the cashier is perfect Michael cringe - harmless enough that you feel okay laughing about it.
Pam being relieved at knowing that this was the end of Jim and Katy... and that being part of why this turned out to be a good night for her... is a good choice. And I *really* liked this description of Pam's reactions to Jim's near-confession... this feels very much in line with a Pam in total denial of what she's feeling, someone whose body is sending messages that her mind is refusing to translate into conscious thought.
Looking forward to seeing where the rest of the evening takes our travelers!
Author's Response:
Aww thanks - probably comes from experience (the mother/son part, not the dealing with Michael).
I can always count on you to appreciate my humorous stuff (and find it funny enough) - I do think this situation present plenty of moments for Michael to be Michael so taking advantage of that.
Yes, denial and inner conflict big players here. Let's see what 2 weeks of reflection will do.
I'm so thankful for your excitement about this story and all your reviews and comments.
Date: September 28, 2021 07:04 am Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars
*She only hoped Elvis would not stick around for the rest of the afternoon as he often did once he made his debut. *
This sentence cracked me up.
Love the way you wrote the booze cruise moment. I still think it's such an interesting choice for you to place Pam in the headspace where she is probably the happiest with Roy we ever see her. Love her interactions with Michael as always.
Author's Response:
Glad you appreciated the Elvis sighting- Like I said, I expect Elvis was a common visitor to DM.
Yup - it will make for an interesting experience when revisiting where she'd been before.
Thanks for coming along and sharing your thoughts. What I love about being here in MTT - the input and appreciation we show each other.
Date: September 28, 2021 06:59 am Title: Chapter 4 - New Coats and Fancy Cars
I see what you did there! Uh-huh-huh. A lovely written chapter setting us up for what's to come, and a reminder of Pam's recent journey.
Author's Response:
Wink wink..
thanks for the sweet review.