Date: August 02, 2022 12:04 pm Title: Episode Four (Part 2)
"pronounced abdominal muscles are unholy." Lol, Angela. And this continues to be very in-character Dwight dialogue.
Ugh. Karen. You're terrible. Just terrible. But again, an audience fave. She'll probably get to be in the next season of Big Brother.
"On behalf of Dwight and the show, there is no truth to the threat made." *Kelly shaking her head gif*
"But, I wouldn’t smack them." *Kelly shaking her head gif*
Ugh. ANOTHER bummer chapter for Jim and Pam. Please don't leave them like this!
Date: August 02, 2022 11:53 am Title: Ad Break: Apple iPod
HA.
Date: August 02, 2022 11:53 am Title: Episode Four (Part 1)
"Ryan brushes his teeth for a grand total of five minutes." Lol. There's a lot of good Ryan-Kelly material in this chapter! Which is nice, because the a lot of this chapter was a bummer, Jam-wise. Glad they managed to pull it together for a while. And that Jim got his revenge on Pam for the Dwight prank.
Ugh. Karen. You are the WORST. Although I bet the audience is into it.
Date: July 21, 2022 09:38 pm Title: Episode Four (Part 2)
Nothing but high praise for you. I’m so invested in most of these characters and I’m loving every second of it.
10. Toby - He continues to fade into oblivion as not a single soul (even the one he picked to save) is interested in him. I mean if a guy were to be eliminated soon, he’s a dead man walking.
9. Andy - His only saving grace is Toby’s just way way way way on the bottom of everyone’s list that he’ll manage to squeak by, but with no genuine relationships, I’m predicting a limited stay for him.
8. Katy - Aside from a line or two from her, we don’t really get to see what her game plan is. Is she still interested in Jim? Will she go for someone else? Who knows? Maybe she doesn’t know either.
7. Pam - I don’t think she’ll quit but come on. She needs to grow a pair and get nasty. Replace Karen’s suntan lotion with glue or something. This is Love Island, not Mope Around and Wait for A Guy to Save You Island.
6. Jim - Speaking of sulking, I’m only ranking him higher than Pam because I can see he’s trying despite Pam’s best efforts. And let’s face it, if he goes home, the cameras will have nothing to ogle at. I mean who are they gonna spy on working out at the gym? Definitely not Andy.
5. Angela - Oh, how nice of you to show up. She continues to not be infatuated with Jim (abs are an apparent turn off) and while I’ll deduct points for not participating in the contest, she’s at least nice enough to help out Pam. Or maybe she just hates Karen because of all that orgy experience.
4. Ryan - What a mess. I think he knows Kelly will never leave him so he’s trying out other girls. But he’s walking a very fine line. She might be so into him not but another hot guy might appear and well…
3. Kelly - She continues to be so iconic from her reactions to not being picked as the hottest girl to cussing out Ryan. She is casting gold and they are milking all the drama out of her.
2. Karen - I still haven’t ranked her first but she’s really an all-time great villain who I’m sure is being set up for a grand downfall. She’s very perceptive of Pam and she’s playing the dirtiest game I’ve seen so far. Unfortunately for her, she’s still hung up on Jim and it might be too late for her to realize she’s going to be hung out left to dry. Or not, she is the hottest after all.
1. Dwight - The only thing better than deliberately causing chaos is unknowingly causing chaos and Dwight is the perfect example of that. From threatening to hurt Jim (we wouldn’t want that now would we? Right? They are bird watching buddies after all) to getting chastised by production to objectively ranking the girls by hotness, I mean what more can you ask for?
Out of jellybeans so have a milk jug. Or Jim’s biceps.
Date: July 21, 2022 03:25 pm Title: Episode Four (Part 2)
So much angst. My poor heart can’t take it. Please fix this right now. Thank you muchly
Date: July 18, 2022 08:43 pm Title: Episode Four (Part 1)
Ok I officially hate this Karen now. I mean she's really living up to the name for sure. Pulling in Pam and lying to her like that? Not cool. Really hoping she gets paired with Toby for the rest of her time there.
Things were going well too. Well aside from Jim being a bit of a jerk to Katy, but it was to get back to Pam and he kisses her breathless and they spend the rest of the night together! Loved that. How they're both admitting they're starting to have feelings for each other. Pranking each other, just having a good time. Pam was even a trooper to stay awake and bird watch. Makes Karen's duplicity and it seems like Pam believing her rankle all the more.
Kelly is attached to Ryan like a barnacle in a way that surprises no one. If there's one big catfight coming I'm sure it'll be between Kelly and Karen when eventually Ryan tries to hit on Karen.
Date: July 18, 2022 08:36 am Title: Episode Four (Part 1)
I was about to go to bed when I saw this update. Naturally, I read it because this fic is the gift that keeps on giving and I wouldn’t want to miss a second of it.
10. Toby - The only thing worse than hating someone is feeling apathetic about his presence. Maybe Michael is on to something…
9. Andy - To the shock of a absolutely no one, him picking Karen came to bite him on his hopefully tattoo-free ass. As much as I appreciated the shocking yet idiotic move, he seems to have faded into the background yet again and that is no good.
8. Angela - She’s the least important of all the girls so far. To be fair, she’s the only one who’s not interested in Jim so… that might be it. She might even actually hate him for being such a whore.
7. Ryan - I bet he’s secretly wishing all the women were pining for him. I love that he’s trying to establish dominance over Kelly and well, it’s Kelly…. good luck with that.
6. Kelly - We all know she’s my favorite (along with number 5) but… this Ryan and Kelly thing is going just about as predictable as Jim’s choice of clothing. Not that I hate it… I mean she’s basically in her own PG rated porno.
5. Dwight - He threw a bucket of water over Jim. Enough said. How’s that for destroying someone’s morning wood?
The top four spots. Where do I even begin?
4. Katy - She took her shot and she unfortunately missed. Something tells me she’s not one to give up. Good for her for calling out Jim’s dickish behavior though. How dare he not sleep with her in a room that’s absolutely begging for sex?
3. Pam - Hmm, that alliance isn’t working out so well for you, is it? I really want her to succeed so badly in this game but she seems so easily manipulated and that might be her downfall. Maybe she’ll bring down Jim with her too…
2. Karen - Oof. Sneaky sneaky girl. So she’s managed to take down both Pam and Katy in one day. I have to admire her intelligence on this one. The question is… how will she manage to outfox Jim?
1. Jim - I was contemplating making Karen number 1 with all the shit she pulled but let’s face it, there wouldn’t be drama if Jim didn’t exist. God, what is it about him that makes all these women go crazy? He can’t be that hot… right? I mean who does he think he is… John Krasinski? He must feel like he’s on cloud nine right now with Pam but he has no idea what kind of shitstorm is heading his way.
This deserves a thousand jellybeans. But here. Have a wood…pecker instead.
Date: July 18, 2022 07:10 am Title: Episode Four (Part 1)
I know I brought a lot of this on myself but oh my god. So. Much. Drama. God I hate Karen. But I LOVE THIS FIC
why am I out of gd beans arghh
Date: July 18, 2022 07:10 am Title: Episode Four (Part 1)
I know I brought a lot of this on myself but oh my god. So. Much. Drama. God I hate Karen. But I LOVE THIS FIC
why am I out of gd beans arghh
1 [Report This]Date: July 15, 2022 06:58 pm Title: Episode Three (Part 2)
Noooooooooo!
You need to fix this. Next chapter please. Must. Have. Happy. Jam.
Author's Response: ahhhhhhh, I'm sorry
Date: July 15, 2022 11:00 am Title: Episode Three (Part 2)
I have decided I am demanding James Spader nominate nature films as Robert California. I think that would be fun for everyone. I would also like to acknowledge that Kelly would be an AWESOME in-Office-universe dating reality show player, total fandom legend.
Awwww. I'm sad for Erin. And now she's never going to get into the fridge.
OOOOOF. The Jim-Pam gut punch. Ow. Update quickly, please.
Author's Response:
I could write a Robert California spin off if you would like one? Thank you for your review!
Date: July 15, 2022 10:48 am Title: Ad Break: Sabre
A FREE FIREPROOF RUG. HA.
Date: July 15, 2022 10:48 am Title: Episode Three (Part 1)
Erin is such a delightful weirdo in this fic. I hope she makes it into the fridge one day.
The bathroom banter between Jim and Pam feels very domestic and comfortable and cute.
Dwight burning the atheistic Mad Libs just shows why he's a good match for Angela.
Katy seems like she's going to be a fun agent of chaos.
Date: July 15, 2022 08:48 am Title: Episode Three (Part 2)
Have I told you how much I love this fic? Because I really love this fic. But GOD. Katy. Why'd you have to go and do that?? Go find Toby or something.
Loved the note to Pam, genius whoever helped you with that.
Please write more ASAP as possible
Author's Response: Cheers me dears
Date: July 14, 2022 07:02 pm Title: Episode Three (Part 2)
Awww, sorry to see Erin go. She's a sweetheart. Though I also doubt she would have lasted long anyway. Not with Karen and Katy acting the way they are.
I do feel bad that the alliance went awry. Jim trying to tell Pam he wanted to be paired with her seems very telling. Same with Pam's sadness. Clearly they're both developing feelings for each other past what they're labeling as friendship. But for now Jim is stuck with Katy and in the special room. Him leaving Pam all the art supplies was super sweet though.
So what will happen in the Annex? Remains to be seen for sure.
All the other characters seem spot on for sure as well.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review!!
Date: July 14, 2022 06:54 pm Title: Ad Break: Sabre
Even the ads know things are about to heat up. Nice!
Author's Response: hahahahaha
Date: July 14, 2022 06:02 pm Title: Episode Three (Part 2)
Hey there fancy new YB. I’m glad even with the new changes in your life, you still have time to update this fic. And of course, being such an armchair expert of reality TV, here are my rankings:
ELIMINATED - Erin. (Canon note: Really shocked Andy went with Karen but not complaining) - She was not long for this game and I’m glad she was put out of her misery. Some people in the game aren’t there to make friends and she was there for exactly that so… good for her I guess?
10. Angela - A lot of the girls didn’t get a lot of screentime since it was all about the guy’s choices and Angela was pretty much just there. I’m glad Dwight saved her because she’s such a bitch in confessionals but… I need more from her.
9. Karen - Thank God Andy thought with his penis instead of his heart. That said, she’s been laying low the past few episodes. Come on, where’s the feisty woman who wanted to claim Jim the very second he stepped on the island?
8. Dwight - Sigh. I hate ranking him this low but he was overshadowed by the other four unfortunately. He’s still my favorite though.
7. Toby - Michael hates him for some apparent reason and as much as I loved him for saving Pam (not that he’s interacted with any of the other girls), he’s still one of the most boring people to watch.
6. Ryan - Going from Michael’s hatred to Michael’s obsession, we have Ryan. Clearly, he was thinking with his penis but… just imagine if he went for someone else. That would be so messy. Still, I can’t fault him since he might be the only guy who will pick Kelly and we need more Kelly in this show.
5. Katy - I’m not gonna fault her here. I mean what was she supposed to do? Pick Toby? I’m ranking her in the middle because of her potential to be a mess.
4. Andy - He’s so unpredictable and that’s the type of behavior that we want to see. Something tells me that he would have gone for Pam if she was still available. How amazing would that have been?
3. Pam - I think the game is getting to her and she’s unraveling quite a bit. Plus points for her since she’s taking it out on Jim even if he’s trying to do everything in his power to make sure they’d end up together. Will she catch a lucky break soon?
2. Jim - *sighs* It must be so hard for him to be so that every girl wants a piece of him. That said, drama seems to be following him everywhere he goes and that makes for perfect television. It’s clear who he wants but will he get there?
1. Kelly - And she’s back to reclaim her throne. Nothing screams TV Gold than threatening the new girl AND her “boyfriend” to pick her. She has managed to scare off just about everyone from Ryan and it’s amazing. Oh and making the Erin elimination all about her? *chef’s kiss*
Author's Response:
Always love your reviews... thank you!
1 [Report This]Date: July 10, 2022 01:38 pm Title: Episode Three (Part 1)
Jim in the shower? Thank you very much
Jim in the pool? Yes please
Jim working out? Now you’re spoiling me
But Katy noooo! Why would you go and do that to meeeee??
Author's Response: Wet Jim.
Date: July 09, 2022 09:51 pm Title: Episode Three (Part 1)
This was so entertaining again, nice work!
Author's Response: Thank you!!
1 [Report This]Date: July 09, 2022 04:08 pm Title: Episode Three (Part 1)
You know I love seeing updates to this fic. And you know I’ll always have my rankings.
Katy - I can’t really rank her yet since she hasn’t had a chance to interact with everyone. She seems interested in Jim (at this point, who isn’t?) but we’ll see how she plays.
10. Erin - Three episodes in and the best thing she’s done is try to disappear in a refrigerator. Please go home.
9. Ryan - He kinda disappeared. Maybe he was calling his mom or something?
8. Karen - Pam is obviously trying to steal her man and she spent more time doing yoga than actually doing something about it.
7. Toby - No one in the villa cares that he got a text, and quite frankly, I’m sure the audience does not.
6. Angela - I like her quips and stuff, but outside of her amazing confessionals, she’s not really doing much in the villa. Is there a wild side hiding underneath all her layered clothing?
5. Kelly - She’s not relevant to the episode but her monologue about Beyonce was so fun. Beyonce better not try something with Ryan. I mean who does she think she is?
4. Andy - Wow. He shocked me. He’s actually trying to go for someone and he’s (unknowingly) joining in on the Jim-Pam drama. Granted, he shouldn’t have asked Jim but points for trying.
3. Pam - With the prank wars ensuing, I wasn’t sure who to rank higher between the two love(?) birds, but I settled on ranking Pam lower because her pranks were more good-natured and Jim’s were…
2. Jim - Speaking of Jim, a little devious of him to mislead Andy like that. Driven by both his inclination to prank and jealousy, it seems? He seems to be a total babe magnet with now three girls (+ half a Kelly) interested in him. I wonder how that will turn out.
1. Dwight - Who else would have it been? Robert California loves him and quite frankly, so do I. He is so weird, you can’t make half this shit up (a karate training, paper burning, bird watcher. What more can you ask for?). And now he’s found himself a fellow bird enthusiast in Jim. Maybe he’ll fall in love with him too (*gasps*)
Author's Response:
Loving these rankings.
I don't think Erin is truly cut out for this place, bless her.
Date: July 09, 2022 03:43 pm Title: Episode Three (Part 1)
Really a lot of fun to see Jim and Pam playing like that. Likewise having more conversations about things outside the island.
Everyone else sees spot on. Ryan as the (as I see it unwilling) little spoon made me laugh. Angela thinking that being an atheist is somehow an infectious disease. This Karen thinking she's pretty much everything there is about everything. Toby trying to be the calm voice of reason and mostly failing while also glomming onto any kind of attention he gets.
So now Katy's here. And she seems to have taken an interest in Jim. Pam also seems to be a little jealous there. Feels like things are starting to heat up for sure.
Author's Response: Things are indeed heating up, time will only tell what Katy will bring to the villa
Date: July 07, 2022 10:52 am Title: Episode Two (Part 2)
So there were some interesting and fun moments here. Toby just wanting to kiss Pam and Pam being totally wigged out by it tracks well for me. Dwight patrolling the line of ladies like General Patton inspecting the troops fits perfectly too. Or maybe considering it's Dwight it would be more akin to looking up and down lines of livestock at the county farm. Either way it's odd yet perfectly Dwight. Karen's trying to mark her territory but I get the feeling the harder she tries the less chance she'll have.
The reason I say that is because there's undeniable attraction between Jim and Pam. They both choose and accept kisses from each other. Jim continues to seek her out. They're sharing more stories and thus going past just surface level attraction. And are plotting together. All wonderfully JAMmy moments that are just adorable to envision.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review warrior!
Date: July 07, 2022 10:31 am Title: Ad Break: Vance Refrigeration
I get the feeling that Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration, wrote, starred in, and produced this ad. Kind of like the ads for used car lots but know, refrigerators.
1 [Report This]Date: July 06, 2022 12:52 pm Title: Episode Two (Part 2)
THEIR FACES.
Oh, Toby. Your instincts are... horrible. Just horrible.
“Dwight is conducting himself in the same way a pigeon would. Inflamed chest, a calculated gate, making himself larger to make others aware of his territory. You give the alphamale an ounce of power and they turn into this. This is why I’m a feminist.” This is GREAT Robert California dialogue.
Everyone knowing the mis-sent pic was Ryan was fun.
ANGELA DEFENDING HER GOD-FEARING CATS.
Jim and Elsie! I ship it. And his talking head about his mom!! HA.
Uh oh. This sounds like one ENCHANTED island...
Author's Response: In Angela's eyes, cats a gift from god so they must act accordingly!
Date: July 06, 2022 11:58 am Title: Ad Break: Vance Refrigeration
This is very Bob Vance Vance Refrigeration.